


Getting Back Our Happy Ending

by Rosesdancinginmymind (orphan_account)



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Complete, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-22
Updated: 2014-11-20
Packaged: 2018-01-16 15:23:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 110,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1352332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Rosesdancinginmymind
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Full prompt inside. Established SQ until their relationship deteriorates. Regina grows sick of trying to win back Henry, of the Charming's attitude towards her and of Emma never fighting for her. So she leaves Storybrooke. Three years later she returns with Emma's baby. Henry and Emma try to win her back but will they all get their happy ending? Slow burn SQ and SwanMillsFamily.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

_Regina is really sick of trying to win back Henry, sick of taking all of the Charming's crap, and sick of Emma ignoring her instincts and always taking her parents side even when they are wrong. So she leaves Storybrooke without a word. She comes back after a few years with a baby (Emma's baby that she didn't tell Emma she was pregnant with) Queue both Henry and Emma trying to win her back and she being very very reluctant to forgive them. I'd like for the baby to dislike Henry at first but slowly..very slowly warm up to him. I'd also like a happy ending please. – DefendMyGirlsHonor_

_Okay so I probably shouldn't be starting another multi-chapter story right now but I love this prompt so much and I really wanted to right it so here we go! Thank you for the prompt DefendMyGirlsHonor. Apologies for any mistakes. I don't own Once or its characters. I hope you like the story :)_

Storybrooke was supposed to be her happy ending. She had Henry and she was happy. For nine years she was so unbelievably happy until he found out he was adopted and got that damn book. Since then all she's been able to do is watch as her happy ending slipped away from her.

She thought she was on her way back to it with Emma.  _Emma_  she thinks with a sad smile. With the saviour she had been happy once again. She even tried her best to be honest, to get Emma to believe not that Henry still didn't find her suspicious. If anything he thought her attempts to get Emma to believe in the curse and fairytales were just another way for her to win.  _That's rich_ she thinks bitterly given that in her trying to give Henry what he wanted all she did was lose.

Even after the curse broke she held onto the dream that she could be happy. After all Emma was her saviour, her white knight, the one who promised to defend her and never leave her.  _Except it turned out to be a lie_  she thinks bitterly. They were happy in the early days post-curse break. They were each other's refuge. Their home was the place they could relax, strip away their titles and just be Emma and Regina. She cherished those times. She misses those times.

She wonders how her happy ending could have disappeared so quickly.

She'd like to blame Snow and Charming. After all they did everything they could to drive a wedge between her and Emma. They never let Emma just be herself. They were tied up in the labels of Saviour and Evil Queen and ignored what Emma wanted. They pushed what they wanted on her. She knows that Emma still doesn't feel enough for them, she feels like she needs to please them. Regina thinks that that is what makes her angriest at Snow and Charming. Emma is their daughter, she should not have to fight that hard to please them, they should accept her for what she wants and is rather than trying to mould her into what they want.

The blame though is not just theirs. Emma let them drive them apart. Emma let them with every moment that she forsook herself to and her own wants to please them. Emma let them in every moment that she ignored her gut instincts and sided with them. Emma let them when she stopped believing in Regina.

Over the past few months Regina has not been happy. She has tried to talk to Emma but it never works the way it should. She doesn't know how to explain that her misery is in the fact that her family is just not the same.

Henry has rejected her for a long time. Even when she changed, when she gave up magic and started to do good, he still assumed she had an agenda. Emma didn't help. She never stepped in or tried to explain to Henry that Regina was still his Mom. She wishes she had. Lord knows Henry would never hear it or accept it from Regina's mouth. He seems to have forgotten the years they spent together where she was just his Mom. Instead all she is now is an evil queen no matter what she does. She's so tired of fighting for someone who clearly doesn't want her.

It isn't just Henry. She's not even sure Emma loves her anymore. She didn't feel like this a few months ago. Before the curse broke and even in the weeks after she felt like she could have a happy ending. She had Henry and she had Emma and they were a family. They had issues but they were at least together and working on them.

Now Emma never believes in her. She doesn't feel safe or loved with her anymore. She feels on edge. She no longer feels as if she can share her secrets and fears with Emma because she doesn't think Emma will listen anymore. Emma never listens. She listens to her parents even when they're wrong and she knows it.

She knows this is difficult for Emma, that she is adjusting but she misses her Emma. She misses the Emma whose fears she soothed and whose worries she reassured. She misses the Emma who made her feel strong and brave and happy. She misses the Emma who was loyal and stood up for what she believed in. She misses the Emma who wanted her as much as she wants Emma.

* * *

_Regina's anxious. She can feel the curse weakening and she knows it will break any day now. She knows the cause. She fell in love. With each day that she fell in love with Emma the curse has fractured. For a while she tried to suppress it wondering if she was strong enough to face the repercussions of breaking the curse. It was Emma who made her see that she was._

_It's for Emma and Henry that she will break this curse. Emma deserves to have her parents. She deserves to have parents who will love and cherish her just for being Emma. She hopes that Snow and Charming will give their daughter that._

_She knows that they will not be accepting of her relationship with her daughter. She knows it will be a fight but as far as Regina's concerned Emma and Henry are well worth fighting for._

_"Hey"_

_She turns at the sound of Emma's voice and a warm happy smile paints her lips. Just being around Emma makes her feel lighter, happier, as if she's just Regina and that that will be accepted. "Hey" she replies before walking over to the blonde._

_She takes Emma's hands feeling the strength that comes from their connection. She takes a deep breath before making the admission that will break the curse and start their future._

_"I love you"_

* * *

_"You're not my Mom!" Henry shouts as he grabs his coat and shoes._

_"Henry!" Regina cries back feeling tears prick her eyes, "I love you Henry. No matter what you may think and know of my past I still raised you. I love you Henry."_

_"You can't love anyone" he spits out, "You're the evil queen. I asked Grandma to tell me her story and I know what you did to her." His accusing turn stings. He asked Snow her side but didn't ask for hers? That hurts. She can feel her heart ache that her own son would take the book and Snow's view but wouldn't think to ask hers._

_"Every story has two sides Henry"_

_"Yeah the hero's and the villain's. Why would I want to hear your excuses? You did what you did because you're evil and you hate Snow."_

_"Did you ever wonder why?"_

_"The book says it's because you thought she was prettier than you"_

_She lets out a bitter laugh. The book clearly just ignored her story instead painting a picture of her as some sort of shallow villain incapable of love. She should have known, when the victors tell the story it's never the whole truth. "You think that's the whole truth?" she asks, "Did Snow tell you that?"_

_"No she said it was more than that. She wouldn't tell me why though."_

_"Do you want to know how this all began?"_

_"Yeah but I want to hear it from someone good not from you. You're the evil queen, you'd probably just lie to me" he says as his final parting blow before storming out of the house._

_Regina sighs as he leaves leaning heavily against the wall. Once the door slams she lets her tears roll down her cheeks. It doesn't seem to matter how much she loves him or how hard she tries, he always sees her as just the evil queen._

_It hurts her even more that he doesn't even want her side of the story. She always thought that her bright inquisitive son would one day ask for her side so that he would have the whole story. But just like everyone else in this town the tale is black and white to him. She is evil and that's that. She slides down the wall sobbing as she does. One lie, about the adoption, and he has never trusted her since. Even when she was honest about the curse he decided she had an agenda. She wonders if one day in the future he'll ever see her as more than her past. She wonders if he'll ever remember that she is his Mom._

_Sitting there sobbing all alone with her knees tucked into her chest she doesn't believe that day will ever come to pass._

* * *

_"Emma I swear to you I had nothing to do with this" Regina says honestly pleading for Emma to believe her._

_Charming dragged her down to the station without telling her why. It was only when Emma came in that they broke the news of Archie's death. She's innocent. She knows it. She knows no-one else will believe her. She doesn't care. The only people she needs to believe in her are Henry and Emma._

_"After everything I've done to change, for you and for Henry, do you really think I would throw that all away now?" She wouldn't, not when she's so close to having a happy ending._

_Emma looks into her eyes and for a moment Regina has hope._

_"Okay" Emma says with a nod and Charming scoffs, "You're seriously buying this?" he asks her._

_"I didn't do it." She says more insistently. "Besides the fact that I'm here and the case so obviously points to me shows sloppiness. If I did this do you think you would have captured me so easily?"_

_"You've been caught before" Charming points out with a smug smirk. Typical of him and Snow to make their assumptions and then find the evidence to fit it. They don't care if she's innocent or not. They clearly don't care if Emma believes her. In their eyes she's guilty and she knows they'll fight to prove it. She just hopes Emma will come through for her. She trusts Emma to fight for her, to prove that she's innocent._

_"I know her. I believe her. In your land she was the Evil Queen. Here's she Regina. She's free to go." She overhears Emma say and she lets out a small sigh of relief. She still believes in her. Regina knows that as long as Emma sticks to her convictions and instincts as she has done in the past then everything will be okay._

_It's later that day when Emma turns up to arrest her that Regina feels the sting of betrayal. Her eyes fill with barely controlled tears of hurt and anger._

_"We know who you are and who you'll always be" those words float in her mind for days and weeks afterwards. All that talk about believing in her, about knowing her and it was all a lie. And yet she couldn't help but love Emma and hope that she would see past the deception of her mother and realise the truth. She hopes that Emma will fight for her._

_Deep down as she sits in her cold vault wondering if Emma really does believe in her she's filled with fear at the possibility that she already knows the answer._

* * *

_Once her innocence has been proved and her mother dealt with Regina leaves her vault to go visit Emma and Henry. She knows they've been staying at the apartment with Snow and Charming. As she lingers outside of their door she wonders how her home crumbled so quickly._

_She wonders why she's fighting to see them at all when they gave up on her so fast._

_The answer is in the love in her heart._

_A love she's not certain is reciprocated anymore. A love that she hopes would have been enough to keep Emma and Henry's faith._

_She knocks on the door._

_"Regina" Snow says startled._

_"Hi" Regina begins, "I'm here to see Emma and Henry"_

_"Oh" Snow replies, "Well they aren't here."_

_"What?" Regina exclaims in disbelief. They left?!_

_"Gold asked them to help find his son in New York. They left this morning."_

_"She just up and took Henry without telling me?"_

_"Well you weren't easy to find. Besides I don't think Emma really has to run anything by you" Snow says dismissively._

_Regina bites back a retort feeling the hurt sting her. Does no-one remember that Henry is her son? Emma cannot just take him. The Emma she loves and new before the curse would never have done this. No, this is a clear enough message to her._

_They don't want her._

_She isn't even worth a courtesy phone call or message._

_Emma did what she promised she would never do. She left and took their son without even a word._

_She loves Emma and she loves Henry. She loves them more than anything. Standing there in the doorway staring at two people who have done nothing but try to shove her away from their family she feels incredibly unloved._

_She wasn't even worth a goodbye to them._

_They didn't believe in her and they didn't care enough to find her._

* * *

_They return to New York with Henry's father in tow. Snow clearly could not be happier. Emma apologised. Henry gave her a quick hug and an apology for not believing her but is still giving her a wide berth. Clearly he still does not want her._

_He spends all his time hanging around with his newfound father, the man who abandoned Emma in prison, the son of Rumplestiltskin. That didn't bother Henry. Her being the evil queen meant that he hated her and that she wasn't his Mom. Rumplestiltskin is the Dark One and yet she overhears Henry calling him 'Grandpa'._

_It sickens her. She knows Henry is quick to attach and enjoys his new family members but what hurts is that to do so he tosses aside his existing ones. She is his mother and yet she gets less of a chance that the Dark One? A man they all feared and despised until he became biological family._

_It's a few weeks after the revelation that she is at dinner with the Charming's. She can tell that her presence is about as welcome as the plague. Emma squeezes her hand softly, "I want you here" she whispers and Regina smiles half-heartedly wondering if it's true. Since New York she's had her doubts._

_"So Neal how long are you planning on staying?" Snow asks cheerfully. Regina spotted the hidden agenda to this dinner immediately. She's waiting for Emma to call Snow out on it, to point out that she's happy and already with someone. So far she's had to suffer through salad and dinner with Snow trying to push Emma towards Neal._

_He shrugs, "I don't know, I figured I'd stick around for a few weeks to get to know Henry and then make a decision."_

_She nods, "Well perhaps while you're here you and Emma can get reacquainted?" she suggests. Regina spots Neal give her a curious glance. At least someone remembers that I'm here._

_"Aren't you with Regina Emma?" he asks._

_"I am" Emma replies._

_Snow rolls her eyes dismissively, "Yes but it would be nice for Henry to spend time with his family"_

_"I am his family" Regina says in a hurt tone. "You may hate me Snow but I am Henry's mother and I love your daughter." She turns to Emma waiting for her to say something but all the blonde says is, "Maybe we could all have dinner together?"_

_Regina lets out a hurt exhale before getting up and leaving._

_She feels tears roll down her cheeks as the cold wind hits her. Something tugs on her arm and she spins round to face Emma._

_"What the hell Regina?" Emma asks in an irritated voice._

_Regina snaps, "What the hell? What about you? You're just sitting there and letting your mother try to push you towards Neal. Why don't you say something?"_

_"She's my Mom and it makes her happy" Emma says in a small voice._

_Regina sighs, "Emma she's your Mom and she should be happy with you just for being you. You don't have to change who you are for them. They should be happy for you if you're happy. Don't let them push you into something you don't want Emma."_

_Emma frowns before nodding, "I don't know how to be what they want"_

_"Just be you Emma."_

_"I do love you you know?" Emma asks._

_Regina nods half-heartedly, "I know. I love you Emma. You are enough. Am I enough for you?"_

_"What? Why would you even ask that?"_

_"Why wouldn't you stand up for me? Why did you leave without telling me? Why didn't you believe me about Archie? Why do you always take their side?"_

_Emma huffs, "I'm not doing this now Regina. I'm going to back and enjoy dessert with my son. If you want to join us you're more than welcome" with that she storms off._

_"Our. Our son" Regina says dejectedly as she watches Emma leave. She realises that Emma never answered her original question._

* * *

_A few weeks later she overhears Snow and Charming talking on a bench._

_"What will we do with Regina?" Snow asks._

_"We could just leave her here" Charming suggests, "It would be safer for everyone."_

_She frowns. Since the curse she has not been a danger at all. She hasn't even suggested that she would cause anyone harm. And yet she still isn't trusted. She wonders if they've even asked Emma if she wants to go back. Regina knows full well that the blonde does not want to go to the Enchanted Forest nor does she want Henry living there._

_"Emma and Henry wouldn't go for that" Snow points out, "Though lord knows they'd be better off."_

_Regina rolls her eyes. Snow really doesn't seem to care what will make her daughter or grandson happy. She's far too blinded by her hatred._

_"Emma is his mother Snow."_

_"Regina was too"_

_Was._

_"Well we still have Rumple's cell. We offer her a choice, come with us and live out her days in that cell or stay here in Storybrooke."_

_At that she walks away her mind reeling. Did they forget that she cannot harm them in their realm anymore? They want to stick her in a cell but what about Rumple? Such a double standard she thinks bitterly._

_She wonders what Henry and Emma would say. She wonders if Snow and Charming have even bothered to consult them let alone asked the people if they wish to go back._

_They won't let her keep Henry. She knows that. She also knows that Emma won't fight them on it. After all neither one of them have returned to the house. Henry barely sees her nor does Emma encourage him to. Emma has even gone back to referring to Henry as 'my' son._

_Emma herself barely visits. Occasionally she slips away from her parents long enough to meet up with her but the last time she saw Emma yesterday all the blonde did was chastise her and tell her to be the person Henry wanted her to be rather than concerning herself with plots and schemes. I was right though Regina thinks. Looking back now she realises that Emma must have known. She knew about the beans._

_She knew and she wasn't going to tell her._

_She burned the beans anyway. It might have been petty but they all lied to her. They were going to take Henry without another word. She can't believe that Emma would betray her like this. Maybe one day they'll find another way back there but she has to stop them from forcing Emma and Henry to leave._

_She knows that one way or another they would have found a way to manipulate Emma into coming with them._

_She loves Emma and Henry but she cannot live like this. All they do is shut her out. Emma no longer involves her in decisions about their son. Emma never believes or sides with her even when her instinct tells her she's right. She thinks back to the Emma she fell in love with, the Emma for whom she was enough._

_She wonders where that Emma went._

* * *

Regina sits in her car at the town line. She never thought it would come to this. She thought this town would be her happy ending. It was supposed to be.

For a while it was. She had Henry. He believed in her. He loved her. To him she wasn't an Evil Queen but his Mommy and for nine years she was blissfully happy. She was enough. It was all she ever wanted.

Now she has to fight to spend even a minute with him and he begrudges any moment with her. She's so tired of fighting for someone who doesn't want her. She can't help but think he'd be happier with her gone. He already lives like she is.

With Emma she thought she had a second chance. She let hope and light back into her heart and she believed that her happy ending and a family were possible. Emma loved her. Truly loved her and she loved her for being her.

Then it all slipped away. Now Emma doesn't even seem to want her. She certainly doesn't seem to respect her as Henry's Mom. All the fighting for them comes from her. Emma never fights. Emma from what she can tell has given up.

She cannot live like this.

This was not her happy ending.

She places her hands on the barely perceptible bump of her belly, "I never thought it would come to this little one but I want you to have a happy ending. I want us to have a happy ending. I thought it was here baby but" she pauses to wipe the tears from her eyes, "it wasn't. One day maybe we'll come back but right now little one it's time for us to fight for a happy ending."

With one final glance over the town that was her home for 29 years she clicks her seatbelt into place and drives over the line.


	2. Chapter Two

(Storybrooke – May 2013)

Emma frowns as she once more dials Regina's cell only to hear that same message telling her the number has been disconnected.  _What the hell happened to you Regina?_ She thinks as she drums her fingers against her desk. It's been days since she's heard from her or even seen her around town. Emma can't help but wonder how long the woman's been missing and why it took her so long to notice.

_Because I've been pushing her away. Because I'm spending all your time with Henry, my parents and of course Neal who Snow invites to every meal_. Emma sighs realising that she owes Regina an apology and a lot more. Regina is her true love and yet looking back over the past few months Emma sees that she really hasn't acted like they are.

She listened to her parents over Regina even though they were wrong. She left without telling her. She took Henry. She doesn't stand up for her when Snow pushes Neal onto her or disrepects her. The last time she saw Regina she flat out lied because she knew her parents were planning to leave for the enchanted forest and didn't want to tell her.

_I did everything I promised I wouldn't do._  Emma realises with a cold shiver. A feeling of dread stirs in her stomach. She needs to see Regina now.

Grabbing her jacket she runs to the mansion knocking on the door. "Regina!" she calls out thumping the door only to receive no answer.  _I used to live here_ she thinks wondering just when she decided not to stay over anymore.

She stands there knocking and calling for twenty minutes before fishing out the spare key and entering the house. The first thing that strikes her is the emptiness.

"How the hell didn't I notice this?" she asks as she spots several smashed windows and a bucket and clearly used to clean up graffiti. The house feels empty and fall of ghosts. A cold shudder runs down her spine as she searches each room only to find no sign of Regina.

Her first thought is that something must have happened. Someone must have taken her. That is until she notices certain things are missing. Regina's photo album is gone, her teddy bear that Emma gave her in the hospital after the fire at the town hall is gone, and the framed photo of the three of them is missing from the hallway.

She wasn't taken Emma realises with a sob, she's gone.

She left. She left me. She left Henry.

Sorrow dissipates into anger as she punches a wall.  _Regina left me_ she thinks before slumping down and kneeling on the wall in a house of everything she lost.

She feels abandoned.

Yet she cannot just blame Regina because she pushed her away first.  _I pushed and she went_.

Her fury rises again as she looks at a picture of Henry and wonders how on earth she'll explain this to her,  _our_  she corrects herself, son when she can't even explain it to herself.

_What the hell happened to my happy ending?_

* * *

(Boston – May 2013)

Regina looks around her new apartment with a nervous smile. This is it. The second she signs that lease this is her new home and she really will have left. She knows she has already but somehow signing that piece of paper makes it all the more real. She knows with a signature she's committing to not going back.

So for five days the paper sits unsigned on her hotel nightstand as she battles with going back. She sits crosslegged on her lumpy hotel bed, she can't afford anything too flashy right now, staring at the photo of herself, Emma and Henry from last year's Miner's Festival.

_Back when we were happy_  she thinks sadly. Back before the curse broke and they both pulled away from her.

She shivers in the cold of the room. She didn't take too much money with her, she gave a lot of her stockpiled mayoral earnings back to the town when the curse broke so that Storybrooke could repair and improve itself – not that anyone cared. Now she just has her savings and she needs to make them last while she decides what to do.

She runs her hand over her growing bump, "What do you think baby? Can we do this?" she asks. Regina smiles as she feels the baby stir and move slightly.

As much as she wishes Emma were here with her right now she knows that even if she were in Storybrooke Emma wouldn't be with her. She wonders if anyone has noticed she's gone yet. She got rid of her cell phone and opened up a new bank account already so that no-one could find her. And yet a part of her had hoped in those first few days that Emma would notice her absence and come chasing after her but obviously it is not meant to be.

She's not even certain she wants Emma to come after her. Her heart still aches when she thinks of Henry and Emma. When she thinks of how they abandoned her and tossed her aside. She may have left but they checked out on her first and that still hurts.

Deep down in her heart although she loves them so much she can't leave this hotel room. She can't bring herself to climb into her car and drive back to Storybrooke because she knows what will happen. Even if they noticed her absence the wounds are still there.

Maybe things would be different if Emma knew about the baby but is that really what she wants? Emma only staying with her because of some sense of obligation? No. She wants Emma to want her for her and the past few months have shown her that neither Emma nor Henry wants her enough.

In the three days before she destroyed the phone however no-one called. She didn't even get a text asking if she's okay. She sniffs back a sob knowing that no-one is looking for her. No-one noticed her absence.

She looks at the photo of her son and true love before standing up and signing her name on the lease.

The next day she sits in her apartment on her brand new double bed, a bed with no memories nor reminders of the blonde she craves, looking at her latest ultrasound scan.

"This is it little one. Our new home" she says with a sad smile before shrugging on the oversized sweater of Emma's she took and letting herself cry.

* * *

(The Enchanted Forest – January 2014)

Emma frowns as she stares out over her parent's land. After they regrew the beans a few of them decided to come back here. A lot of people stayed because this land simply was not their home anymore.

It was never Emma's.

But her parents wanted to come over and rebuild their kingdom. Henry wanted to find out what Enchanted Forest life was like so she put aside what she wanted and decided to go with them.

Four months later Emma wonders when she's going to start putting herself first. She's so damn tired. Her mother keeps pushing Neal on her and trying to get this land to feel like home but it isn't. It just isn't. And it never will because Emma's home is not in this place.

When Regina first went missing Snow and Charming suggested that she had stolen the beans and come here.

Emma knew this was wrong. Regina would never come back here and they never understood why, nor did they understand why she destroyed the beans. Emma did. She didn't at first. At the time she was still angry and dealing with an apathetic Henry who was trying to convince himself he didn't care.

Now, that the dust has settled Emma knows Regina was right. She tried to tell her that she was losing herself for her parents but Emma just ignored her. She wanted her parents and she wanted them to want her.

Now she just wants Regina back.

Staring out at a crumbling kingdom that, in spite of her mother's optimism, cannot be rebuilt she knows that Regina burned those beans to try and save her. Even when she was leaving her Regina was trying to save her, trying to give her time to think about what she wanted.

Emma just wishes she had used that time to think properly. Instead she wasted four months being angry and wondering how Regina could abandon them and sacrifice their happy ending.

Returning to the Enchanted Forest is what made Emma see the light. With no work or friends to distract her she realised the truth of her loneliness and pain. Her sorrow was not just that Regina left, but it was also that she had let her go.

Her rage is gone. She just wants her happy ending back. She has to go back home.

She finds Snow later that day to say goodbye.

"Emma you haven't even given it a chance" Snow says with a frown as she watches her daughter clutch the bean, Henry standing solemnly beside her.

Over the past few months his apathy has disappeared and now he just misses his Mom. Now he wishes he hadn't pushed her away all those times and that he had just given her a chance. This castle and land is nothing like what he thought it would be. He thought he wanted adventure and being a prince.

What he wants is hot cocoa with cinnamon. He wants movie nights with his mothers. He wants to go to school with his friends and ride his bike around the town. He wants to hear his Mom calling him her little prince.

Apathy has given way to loss and regret. He wants to have hope but he has a feeling they are way too late. He was trying to push Emma and Neal together when they were so wrong for each other. He didn't notice how unhappy Emma was until they came here and then he knew the reason, she couldn't have a happy ending without her true love.

Now he just has to hope they can find her.

"Snow we gave it a chance. I tried to do what you wanted. I came here when I didn't want to. I pushed Regina away for you. I took your side over Archie. I let you push me towards Neal. I've done so many things Snow because you wanted me to and I'm tired of it. I'm going to do what is going to make me happy and I want you to be happy for me Snow. I'm your daughter and I should be enough. I'm sorry if I can't make you happy but I need to find my happiness."

"And why can't you find it here?" Snow asks biting back a sob at her daughter's words. She was only trying to do what she thought was best. She didn't mean to make her unhappy.

Emma shakes her head, "My happy ending isn't here"

* * *

(Boston – February 2014)

Regina smiles as she looks down at the little baby girl in the stroller. She's sleeping peacefully right now and when she does Regina can't help but marvel at her little miracle. She has her dark curls but her eyes are all Emma. It hurts sometimes to know that but also it makes her feel happier because she has the beginnings of a happy ending.

She may not have Henry or Emma but she has Lila.

With Lila she's trying to be the best mother she can be and for the most part she is happy. Lonely at times but mostly happy. She misses the pair so much that it hurts to even think of them but she's trying to move forward.

She tucks a pink blanket over her five month old's sleeping form, "Okay Lila let's go for a walk." She loves walking out in the brisk fresh air of Boston. In Storybrooke she could barely leave the house without fear of hateful stares or muttered curses. Here she can melt into the crowd and it her walks are just about her and her baby. It is just about her happy ending like she hoped her life would be.

She hums contently as she walks down the street before she collides with a figure. It happens more often with the stroller so she's used to apologising, "So-" her word is cut off when she sees who she's walked into. "No" she mutters before trying to turn the stroller and get away. A quick departure is not really possible with an infant.

"Regina wait up!" the woman cries out before skidding in front of her.

Regina sighs at the sight of the brunette with red streaks, a part of the past she thought was gone, "What do you want?"

"Can we talk?" Ruby asks looking down at the stroller.

Regina follows her gaze to her daughter who, despite how much she looks like her, is obviously Emma's. "Not here" she says before leading the other woman to a park she knows. She sits down at her favourite bench that overlooks the lush green space and takes in a deep breath. This place always makes her feel calm and she often ends up walking Lila over here.

"How did you find me?" she asks after a few moments of silence.

"Wolf senses." Ruby shrugs, "I wanted to find you so I grabbed one of your sweaters. I tracked your car to Boston where some guy said you sold it"

"I did. I was trying not to be found."

"Well because of the sweater once I got to Boston I was able to sniff you out so to speak" Ruby explains. As she talks Lila stirs and Regina smiles before taking her out of the stroller and sitting her on her lap. "Whose this?" she asks.

"Lila" Regina replies, "When I left I was pregnant. I know I have no right to ask any favours of you but please you can't tell anyone"

"Granny and I already knew. We could tell. Don't worry we kept your secret. We figured when you snuck out of town in the middle of the night that you didn't want anyone to know"

"Thank you. I know I don't deserve your silence but thank you so much. Can I ask why you so desperately needed to find me?" she asks before snuggling her little girl.

"A few months ago some people went back to the Enchanted Forest" Ruby begins and Regina stills with fear, "Emma?" she asks.

"She and Henry went at first but they came back which is what encouraged me to come find you."

"You're here to take me back?" Regina asks fearfully clinging to her baby girl. She can't go back. Not yet. She's not ready to see them, to have her heart broken all over again. She's only just starting to heal and going back will destroy all of that.

"No" Ruby replies adamantly. "Trust me I'm not. I came because I wanted to thank you"

"To thank me?" Regina asks surprised.

"Yeah I wanted to thank you for Storybrooke because for a lot of us you gave us a new home. The Enchanted Forest was our home but we were always living in chaos and struggling. In Storybrooke Granny and I can be together and just live our lives. You gave us the freedom to just live Regina. Without Storybrooke I would have to go back to our land and fear being hunted. Now I can be a waitress, I can have a second chance and I wanted to thank you for that. And so I also wanted to apologise."

"What for? I cursed you all. I should apologise."

"But you did already" Ruby replies, "You gave us all that money to rebuild. You apologised to us all and tried to redeem yourself. We just were too stubborn and angry to let you. I wanted to apologise because I, well we all, saw how Emma and Henry pushed you away and we did nothing. Emma was so angry when you left but I couldn't tell her that I understood why you did it, you felt abandoned and pushed aside and I'm sorry that I let you feel all alone."

"Thank you Ruby" Regina replies. She can feel tears welling up in her eyes. After all this time to receive an apology, not from the two she wants it most, and from such an unexpected source is heartwarming. "Do you want to meet Lila?" she asks holding out the baby.

Ruby grins taking the adorable little girl, "Why Lila?" she asks.

Regina smiles sadly, "Emma told me once that if she ever had a daughter she would name her Lila because it meant innocence and hope. Lila is my fresh start, my hope when everything seemed dark."

"You miss them don't you?"

"So much" Regina replies, "But I can't go back Ruby. I'm not strong enough to let them back into my heart yet."

Ruby nods before reaching for Regina's hand, "Well you don't have to be alone anymore. If you want a friend in Storybrooke you have one."

* * *

(Storybrooke/Boston – November 2014)

Emma and Henry have been back for ten months now. They've been living in the old apartment. For a while they debated about going to live in the mansion but they couldn't bring themselves to do it. It just wouldn't have felt right to be there without her.

Henry joined her avidly in her searches for the first few months, sitting there as she ran online searches and tried to track down the vanished brunette. Eventually though he gave up searching and tried to focus on his life instead.

His desire to find her is still mixed with his anger at her leaving him and his anger at himself for making her feel like she wasn't wanted.

Two months ago he stopped searching and threw himself into his and Emma's life instead. If he focussed on his school work, his friends and Emma then he didn't have to miss her. Or so he thought but it didn't work. Almost every day something will happen and he'll think of her and if she's happy now. That's what he hopes for most, that she at least found some happiness wherever she is.

Emma isn't. At first she entertained thoughts of moving on but she couldn't do it. Then she tried going across the border to the next town, drinking and sleeping with people to try and forget Regina. Nothing could erase her though. With each person she slept with all she could think of was how she wished they were Regina.

She can't give up.

She gave up when Regina was here and she lost her because of it. Despite people telling her to let go or to give up she can't because she knows Regina is out there somewhere and she needs to make this right. If the past eighteen months have taught her anything it's that happy endings are worth fighting for and so she has to at least try.

She drops Henry at her parents, without Emma and Henry around they soon returned, and sets off for Boston. She ignores Snow's suggestion that she just leave it and stay instead. Thanks to a contact at a used car dealership she knows Regina sold her car in that city. So she at least has a place to start.

Emma spends three days walking the streets looking out for any glimpse of Regina. She spends three days hoping for a miracle. No matter how hard she tries though she cannot find her. She goes everywhere she can think of and covers all the ground she can but wherever Regina is in this city she's keeping a low profile.

Reluctantly she heads back to Storybrooke. At Henry's hopeful expression she simply shakes her head and he sighs before hugging her tightly. At thirteen he's nearly as tall as she is now. She can't believe Regina is missing their son growing up. She wishes the other woman could be here but she's slowly resigning herself to the fact that Regina's never coming back.

* * *

(Boston – January 2015)

Once her money begins to run out Regina takes a job at the café down the street from her. She considered going for a job in politics but changed her mind. She doesn't want to be in the public eye. As a Mayor and the Evil Queen she lived in infamy too long. Her life was constantly watched but here in Boston she wants to blend in, to just live her life and so she takes a job bussing tables and serving coffee. It's easy and simple but it keeps her busy and content.

Occasionally a regular will ask her out but she turns them all down. After Emma she can't open her heart up just yet. She knows no-one else will compare now. Emma is her true love after all and she can't imagine anyone replacing her.

At the same time she can't imagine going back to Emma. Her heart is just about patching itself back together. She has Lila. She has friends in Ruby and Granny who have given her more support than she ever thought she was deserving of. She has a job and her apartment. She has a life now. A life where she isn't pushed aside or judged or doesn't feel enough.

It's not a happy ending but it's nowhere near as painful as being in Storybrooke was.

It's been nearly two years but the thought of starting up a romance with someone new just saddens her and reminds her of what she's lost.

She also can't help but think of how badly her heart was shattered by Emma and Henry and she can't risk opening her heart up only to have it broken again.

She finishes wiping down the counter before waving a quick goodbye to her boss and walking down to the daycare centre across the street.

A grin leaps onto her face as she spots her little girl. "Lila" she calls out and her seventeen month old's head whips up. "Mama!" the little girl shouts out excitedly before running over to her. Regina swoops her up in her arms overjoyed each day at hearing "Mama" from Lila's mouth.

"Hello baby girl. Did you miss me?"

"Yeah" Lila replies still playing with a toy phone, "Bring" she mimics cheerfully and Regina laughs before leaning into the phone, "Hello?" she calls out as the little girl laughs.

_This is all I need right now_ she thinks.

* * *

(Storybrooke – August 2015)

"If it weren't for you she'd still be here!" Henry shouts furiously at his grandparents. Emma walks in to find her fourteen year old son in the middle of a fight with her parents.

"Whoa kid what's going on here?" she asks placing a hand on his shoulder.

"They were saying we were better off now Mom's gone" he replies. She can hear the bite in his voice but see the tears in his eyes.

"Okay kid, go wait in the car" she says.

"Ma" he begins to protest.

"No just grab your bag and wait."

She waits for him to leave before turning to her parents with a cold glare. She knows they think that everything's better without Regina but it isn't. At least not for her and Henry. She is so sick of having this fight with them, of hearing them profess how happy they all are now.

"Emma we can explain" Snow begins.

"No" Emma cuts her off, "No you can't. You can't keep badmouthing Regina Mom. She is Henry's Mom. She raised him for ten years. He loves her. I still love her and I still hope that one day she will come back. I know she probably never will and that pisses me off so much because I tossed my happy ending away. It's okay for you, you two have each other. I have to live knowing that Regina is gone and will never come back. I lost her forever and as angry as that makes me I have to live that. So does Henry. It doesn't make it any easier for us to hear you tell us we're better off because we're not."

"Emma it's been over two years. You're both moving on. It's time for him to let go."

"He's never going to let go Mom. She's his mother. He's always going to miss her just like I always am. I can't live like this anymore Snow. This doesn't work. Tonight Henry and I are going to Granny's and then we are finding our own place."

At that her mother looks at her with watery eyes, "But we're all meant to be together"

"We can still be together and be family but if we stay in this apartment then we're just staying in the past. Henry and I we need to move on with our lives and try to be happy. We need our own place, our own home. It won't be a happy ending but it'll be a start"

* * *

(Boston – present – March 2016)

"Come on boo bear where are you hiding?" Regina calls out searching for her daughter. The two and half year old loves to play hide and seek. Regina smiles as she hears a chuckle from behind the countertop.

"Lila where are you?" she singsongs as she drops down onto her hands and knees before crawling round the island. She giggles to herself as she sees Lila sitting there with her back to her

"Boo!" she shouts tickling her daughter's sides. Lila shrieks before giggling, "Mommy you find me" she says happily. "Who this?" she asks pointing to the object in her hand.

Regina gasps slightly swallowing down a small sob as she eyes the photo in Lila's hand. "You know who they are boo bear, that's Henry and that's your Mama Emma." She may not have been able to bring herself to go back to Storybrooke but she still let Lila know who they were. She knows one day her daughter will have questions, questions that right now she doesn't want to have to answer.

On several occasions, normally after a visit from Ruby and Granny, she considers visiting Storybrooke but every time she thinks of it, she thinks of losing Henry and Emma and the terror that she just might lose Lila too and face fresh heartbreak.

The phone rings startling her from her thoughts and she quickly picks it up balancing Lila on her hip. "Hello?"

"Regina, it's Ruby. I need you to come home" Regina frowns at the tears in the other woman's voice. Over the past few years she's grown to consider her as being like a sister to her.

"Ruby what's wrong?"

"It's Granny. She's in the hospital. Please Regina I need you to come." Ruby pleads.

"Okay." Regina replies, "Okay I'm coming Ruby. Don't worry I'm coming."

"I'm sorry to call you back. I know you don't want to have to face them again" Ruby begins apologetically but Regina cuts her off, "No Ruby, I had to face them sooner or later. I can take it. You and Granny are mine and Lila's family. We're coming to support you."

"Regina. Thank you"

"It's okay. I'll see you soon." She replies before hanging up the phone and turning to Lila, "Want to go to see Auntie Ruby?" she asks cheerfully to try and hide her growing fear. She's going to need all her strength to return to Storybrooke.

She could have said no but after all Ruby and Granny have done for in the past few years she can't turn them down.

No, it's time to suck it up and return to Storybrooke.

* * *

(Storybrooke – present)

Emma sighs as she hears the loud music coming from Henry's room. Ever since he turned fifteen he's decided that when his music is on it has to echo through the whole house. With a frown she knocks on his door, "Henry! It's after ten. You know our deal. Turn it down!"

The teenager opens the door with a moody frown, "What?" he asks leaning lazily against the doorframe.

"Can you turn the music down please? We're going to get noise complaints"

Henry rolls his eyes, "Fine can I go back to my game now?"

"Half an hour kid, then you can read or something before bed"

"Sure Ma whatever" Henry replies with another eyeroll that reminds her so much of his other mother before slamming the door shut.

Emma trudges down the stairs looking forward to Grey's Anatomy and some hot cocoa. She pauses as usual at a picture of her and Regina at Henry's old castle. She smiles sadly before tracing the features of the brunette.  _Maybe one day I'll see you again_ she thinks.

The doorbell rings and her brows raise in surprise. No-one ever visits her and certainly not this late at night.

She quickly sweeps her hair into a ponytail in an attempt to tidy it up before checking her reflection in the mirror they keep by the door. "Urgh it'll do" she mutters before pulling open the door.

Her jaw drops open upon seeing the woman on the other side.

"Hi"


	3. Chapter 3

_Hi again. Thank you for all the reviews, follows and favourites so far. This would have been up sooner but I was hit by a case of the flu :( Apologies for any mistakes. Thank you once again to DefendMyGirlsHonor for the prompt. Hope you enjoy this chapter :)_

(Earlier that day)

Regina drives straight through the town glancing at the familiar buildings she once called home. Driving the route to the hospital brings tears to her eyes just from the ease of it. Some things never leave the memory. She keeps a smile on her face and sings along to the nursery rhymes to entertain her daughter.

She smiles at Lila giggling and singing in her car seat. She focuses on her little girl and not how coming back to a town filled with memories of the past is far more heart-breaking than she thought it would be. Every road she passes, every spot in town she can conjure up ghosts of her time with Emma and Henry.

She sighs shaking her head as she pulls into the parking lot of the hospital. No-one ever said coming home was easy but she has to. She has to because this isn't about her or Emma or Henry. It's about Ruby and Granny who need her. It's about her daughter who needs her to be strong. For Lila she can put aside her own pain to do what's best. She just hopes her fears won't come true like they did several years ago.

Regina takes a deep breath before climbing out the car and moving to the back to pick Lila up from her car seat. She smiles as the little girl excitedly clings to her thrilled to be out of the car, "No more car Mommy!"

Regina laughs, "No. We're going to go see Granny and Aunty Ruby"

"Why is Granny here?" Lila asks frowning at the building full of doctors and nurses.

"Okay, well at the moment Granny is a little bit poorly so we've come down to cheer her up. Think you can do that Lila-bug?" she asks gently tickling her daughter on the nose.

Lila smiles and nods, "Big hugs"

"That's right big hugs. Now let's go find our family" she says before walking into the hospital. She hears the crashing of a mug and several stunned gasps at her presence but she shakes them off choosing to focus instead on her daughter and Granny.

"Regina!"

Regina turns at the voice as her daughter shouts "Aunty Ruby!" before kicking to get down and running over to the other woman. "Hey Lila" Ruby says swooping the little girl up, "How's my favourite little niece"

"We were in the car for ages" Lila says.

Ruby chuckles before walking up to Regina and pulling her in for a hug. Regina can see the tear tracks on the younger woman's face. "How is she?" she asks running her thumb over the tear stained cheek.

Ruby sniffs before replying, "She had a heart attack. We were at the Diner working and she just keeled over Regina. God. I don't think I've ever been so scared, it's why I called."

"No, no of course I understand. Is she going to be okay?" she asks worry creeping into her tone. She loves Granny and Ruby, they are her family and the thought of losing them sends waves of terror through her.

"Whale says yes but she's going to have to take it easy for six weeks. He wants to keep her here for a few days. I shouldn't have called. You and Lila have your life in Boston. I just panicked" Ruby says apologetically.

"Don't be silly Ruby. You're like a sister to me and Granny, well she's Granny" Regina says with a chuckle, "She's going to pull through this okay and until she's back on her feet I'll stay here and help"

"What about your job and your place?" Ruby asks bouncing the toddler in her arms.

Regina chews her lip for a moment. Yes she has a job and she has an apartment. But to her the only important thing there was Lila. At the end of the day her family means a lot more to her than some job. "Don't worry about it, I'd rather be here with you guys. Plus I'm sure Lila would love to spend six weeks with her Granny and Aunty Ruby. What do you say Lila, do you want us to stay with Aunty Ruby?"

Lila's eyes widen excitedly before she claps her hand before giving her aunt Ruby a smacking kiss on the cheek, "Yeah!" she cheers, "Stay with Ruby!"

Regina smiles before hugging the younger woman once more, "Then it's settled. We're staying."

"Thank you, thank you so much Regina. Do you want to go see Granny? I'll look after Lila" she offers and Regina nods letting Ruby guide her to the hospital room. "Lila stay with Ruby. Be good okay?"

"Alright Mommy" Lila says as her mother kisses her on the forehead.

"Ruby…" Regina begins anxiously looking around the hospital, mainly at the people staring at them, some in accusation, others in just plain shock. She wonders how long until one of them puts two and two together about Lila. She wonders how long until Emma finds out about her return.

Ruby as if reading her mind puts her hand reassuringly on Regina's arm, "It's okay. I'll keep her safe. They would have to pry this little girl out of my cold dead arms. No-one's going to hurt her or take her. I would never let them."

Regina nods, "Okay. Okay. Thank you Ruby." She takes a deep breath knowing she can trust Ruby with Lila. Ruby and Granny are two of the few people she actually has faith in and even that took a long time. After Emma who broke so many of her promises to her she was scared to trust for a long time. She counts herself lucky that she has Lila and that she has two people who were there to show that she could trust without being hurt.

She walks into the hospital room smiling at the woman in the hospital bed. It startles her to see the woman who's usually so strong lying there in that bed. "Hi Granny" she says as the tears start to fill her eyes. She hates the thought of anything happening to Granny.

The older woman frowns at her before beckoning her over and pulling her in for a tight hug, "Don't you start crying on me too girl. Between you and Ruby this place will end up under water."

Regina laughs as she hugs her, "Sorry, I just. I got scared when Ruby told me what happened to you. What are you doing scaring us all like that?"

Granny chuckles at her as Regina moves to sit on the edge of the bed, "Sorry dear. Don't worry I'll be back on my feet in no time."

Regina frowns sternly at her, "Yes because you're going to do what the doctors say and take it easy for six weeks."

"I have the Diner and the B&B to run"

"And you have me here to help. You're going to get better Granny and you're going to let me help you just like you and Ruby have helped me so much over the past three years" she knows nothing could ever repay the debt she feels to Ruby and Granny. Their support has meant the world to her and now they need her she's going to step up.

"What about Emma and Henry?" Granny asks taking Regina's hand, "It's a small town Regina and I don't want you to get hurt again."

"It's okay I won't. I'm going to go see her tonight."

"Why? You don't owe her anything Regina"

"I know but I owe Lila. Emma is her mother and I don't want the first time Lila meets her to be an accidental bump-in at the Diner. I owe it to Lila to tell Emma we're here so that Lila can meet her properly."

"You're a good mother Regina but what about you?" Granny asks concernedly.

Regina smiles sadly, "Just because I want Lila to know them doesn't mean I do. They hurt me so much Granny and I still don't know if I can trust them. I don't know what seeing them is going to be like but I do know that no matter how much I still love them that I can't let them back into my heart and I won't. As far as I'm concerned Emma is Lila's mother and that'll be it."

Granny nods at her though she can't help but still be worried, "Okay Regina. Just be careful. I don't want to see you getting your heart broken again."

"Me neither" Regina replies. She's not sure her heart could take letting Henry and Emma into her life again and right now she's not willing to risk the potential heart ache. Right now her priority is Lila and for her daughter's sake she'll go see Emma.

* * *

"Hi" Regina says as the door opens to reveal Emma. Just the sight of the blonde brings back too many memories, memories of love but memories tainted by the pain of the past few months of their relationship.

Emma's jaw drops as she sees Regina standing in front of her. She never thought she would see Regina again. Even when she was looking for her a part of her believed that Regina was lost to her forever and now she's here and Emma finds she has no idea what to do. What on earth do you say when faced with a love who you pushed and pushed until they left? She grips the door hard feeling her fingers bruise against the hard word but she cannot let go. It's that grip that stops her from beginning to cry. Right now she can't. She can't breakdown in front of Regina not after all these years. Three years ago she would have let herself, she would have cried and let Regina comfort her. But the Regina before her is not the one who once held her through nightmares and soothed her sobs. She can tell that straight away. She can see it in the way Regina is holding herself steady and focusing all her energy on keeping that pained smile on her lips.

It's in that moment that Emma realises exactly what she did to Regina. She helped her take down her walls and be Regina only to hurt her in the process. That pained smile damn near kills her because she realises that her and Henry tore down her walls only to break her heart. She wishes more than anything she could go back in time and stop that smile from having to happen.

The silence continues to linger awkwardly between them as Regina looks down at her feet. She scuffs her shoes on the floor to avoid looking at Emma for one second longer. She knew this would hurt. She just never realised how much. She takes a deep breath thinking of her little girl waiting for her in Ruby's car before looking back up at Emma.

"Emma" she says slowly forcing the blonde to look at her.

"You're here" Emma replies finally. She takes a step forward and Regina takes one back. Emma frowns at the movement before retreating back to her doorway. Gone is the closeness they used to share, even as enemies they would be in each other's faces. Now they have the space of strangers.

"I am" Regina says. "Look –" she begins but Emma cuts her off.

"Where have you been? Why are you back?" she asks. A brief flash of anger rises in her again, "Are you here to see Henry?"

Regina frowns at the questions. She's not even sure she's ready to see Henry. For the past six months she was in Storybrooke he acted like she was already gone. She missed him so much but she knows she cannot face him tonight.

"Look I'm not here to tell you all that. I'm here because I didn't want the first time you saw me to be an accidental bump in at the diner. I'm not that cruel Emma. I have something important I need to tell you. Can you meet me for lunch tomorrow?" Regina asks.

Emma nods knowing that Regina's right. No matter what others may have thought of her the brunette would never do something like that. Even after she and Henry had hurt her so badly. She can't help but let herself hope at the lunch offer although she doubts it will mean what she hopes it will. She wonders what Regina could have to tell her. She considers the offer. Three years ago she pushed Regina away until she left. She searched but it was too late. Far too late. Now Regina's back and she doesn't want to let her slip away again.

"Okay. Granny's?"

Regina nods before muttering a quiet goodbye and exiting quickly. She flees to the car where Ruby and Lila wait. With a glance to check her little girl is asleep she throws herself into the front seat and let's herself cry.

Shutting her front door behind her Emma does the same.

* * *

Emma passes Henry's room unsure as to what to say to him. She knocks tentatively on the door knowing she has to tell him. If he finds out Regina visited and Emma didn't she knows he'll be furious.

"What?" Henry asks in his gruff deeper teenager voice. At fourteen he's now taller than she is. He's let his hair grow out into messy bangs that she cannot get him to cut. Regina raised him for the first ten years. Whilst Emma is his mother too there was so much they both realised she just didn't know about him and he didn't know about her. Things have been awkward. Even with their shared loss at times they sat in silence, the absence of Regina lingering painfully in the air until they both escaped; Henry to his room and Emma either to hers or if the memories were particularly bad a bar.

"Henry can I talk to you?" she asks.

"Whatever" he shrugs before granting her access to his room. He flops down on the bed and gestures for her to say whatever needs saying.

"Okay well I have some news for you. Your Mom, Regina, she's back" she says anxiously awaiting his reaction.

Henry sits up straight before laughing, "You're kidding right?" he asks. There's no way his mother would return or at least so he thought. At his mother's serious and pained expression he realises this is no joke. His love turns into a nervous and bitter chuckle before he asks "She's back?"

Emma nods before sitting next to him. Today he doesn't shift away. Today he lets her place an arm over his shoulders in comfort that they both need, "Yeah Henry."

He sniffs before turning to his mother, "I never thought she'd come back. I thought we'd lost her forever."

"Me too kid" Emma replies. She had hoped of course but she never thought it would come true. She doesn't even know what to say to Regina tomorrow. She doesn't even know what Regina wants. As much as Emma loves her and wishes she could just pull Regina into her arms and show her just how sorry she is, she knows that right now it's not possible. She could tell in Regina's face and the distance between them earlier that they will never be the way they were. She's not sure she wants them to be given how much hurt it led to.

"Why is she back?" Henry asks.

Emma sighs, "I don't know. She invited us to lunch tomorrow. She said she has something important to tell us."

"What?"

"I don't know"

Henry huffs throwing off her arm from his shoulders, "What do you know?" he asks in irritation.

Emma frowns, "I know she's back. Okay Henry she's back."

"Do you think she wants us back?" Henry asks with a hopeful smile.

Emma sighs wishing she had a clear answer. She can't give him false hope. That would crush him if it turned out not to be true, "I don't know Henry. We hurt her really badly kid."

"I know but she came back. She wants to see us. That must mean something right?"

"Maybe Henry. Look I know she's back and you hope this means you can make it up to her but let's just see how lunch goes okay? I don't want you to get your hopes up or push too hard." She replies with another sympathetic smile. If she's honest she wishes the same as Henry, that Regina being here means they have a chance to make it up to her, to prove that they do love and want her. But she also knows that so much has changed. She knows there's a lot of anger and resentment between them and so many issues now. She also knows that Regina may not want them back at all.  _I wouldn't blame her_  Emma thinks sadly.

Henry sighs, "Okay Ma. I think I'm just going to go to bed now okay"

"Okay kid. Good night"

"Night"

Emma wanders out of his room and into her own. Her night passes fitfully with dreams of her and Regina back when things were good between them, back before the curse broke and everything got far too complicated.

She wakes for the tenth time that night to stare at her clock. The numbers read 6:15 and she decides to simply give up on sleep for the night. Evidently she's not going to get any rest. Every dream she had would cause her to wake in tears because she would remember what she had lost by pushing Regina out of her life.

She sighs as she stares up at her ceiling as her mind runs through the questions that are plaguing her.  _Why is Regina back? What has she been doing for three years? Where was she? What would bring her here? What does she want to tell her?_

She can't help but worry because she knows that if it makes Regina face her after all these years that it must be serious. Emma's no fool. She knows that if Regina could have done she would have continued to avoid her and Emma knows she can't blame her for that.

As mad as she was at Regina for leaving she was also mad at herself for making things get to that point.

They were supposed to be each other's happy ending. Emma wonders if that's even still possible. She doubts Regina believes so, she has no reason to given how their so called "happy ending" worked out before.

Emma sighs running her hands over her face wishing once more that she could go back in time and fix things. She wishes she had known what she had before it was too late.

* * *

Ruby says nothing as they make the quick drive to her apartment where she's letting Regina and Lila stay for the time being. She stays silent as she grabs her sleeping niece from her car seat before taking Regina by the arm and gently steering the crying woman inside.

She settles Lila in the inflatable pink blow-up bed Regina brought with her before walking out into her lounge to where she left Regina.

"Lila" Regina says through a sob, "I need to check on Lila"

"She's okay" Ruby says before pulling Regina in for a hug, "Okay. Lila's alright. She's sleeping and she's fine. But you aren't so let's just sit and talk and cry"

Regina nods hugging Ruby back, "Okay. I'm just going to check on her" she says before quietly walking into what is now hers and her daughter's room. She smiles at the gentle snores coming from her daughter. She kneels down tucking a blanket around her before running her hand through her daughter's dark chocolatey curls. Sleepy jade eyes blink open at her, "Mommy" Lila says groggily.

"Hi boo bear" Regina says with a smile, "Good night"

"Night" the little girl replies her eyes shutting immediately. Regina smiles kissing her daughter's forehead and handing her her favourite stuffed rabbit. She watches her sleep for a few moments reminding herself of the happiness in her life now.

She pulls the ladybug night light out from her bag before plugging it into the wall just in case Lila wakes up again and is scared by the dark. Once that's settled she pulls on a pair of her pyjama bottoms and a sweater before walking out into the living room.

Ruby smiles at her before handing her a glass of wine.

"Thanks" Regina replies taking it with a grateful sip and sitting down on the couch.

"I thought that after today we could both do with a drink" Ruby says taking a sip from her own glass. "So what was it like seeing her again?"

Regina sighs leaning back into the couch once more, "It was weird. I knew it was going to hurt, I knew that. I just didn't know it was going to hurt so much."

Ruby nods, "You know you don't owe her anything right?"

"I know. I want Lila to know her and Henry though. It was just seeing her again was so weird. You know, we used to be so close. Even when we fought we would be in each other's face."

"I know, there was some pretty blatant eye-sexing going on"

Regina chuckles remembering those days, "I know. Even when we were fighting we still had that passion, that desire to be close to each other. We lost that Ruby. Standing there outside her door I realised that I don't know her anymore. She was supposed to be my true love, I told her everything and I thought I knew her but I don't think I ever really did. She made me a lot of promises and then she broke my heart but even after that whenever I thought of her I still had this image in my head of her and who she was. Ruby, she's not my Emma anymore" Regina says a tear rolling down her cheek.

"No she's not but you're also not her Regina anymore. You've both changed a lot in three years. She's not just the saviour and you're not just the evil queen. I think you're both different people and that's a good thing. Regina you two practically destroyed each other. She pushed you away and broke your heart and then your leaving broke hers. I think honestly you both not being who you were three years ago is good." Ruby replies.

Regina looks at her digesting her words, "I'm still worried"

"About Lila or you?" Ruby asks.

"What?"

"I know you're scared they'll take Lila but I think you're also scared that they're going to hurt you again"

Regina smiles sadly, "Both. She promised she would never take Henry from me and then they both left. But I also still love both of them, what if I let them back in and they hurt me again?"

"Don't" Ruby advises, "Just don't let them back in. Let them see Lila, let her get to know them but as far as you go they don't deserve anything from you. You can't trust them, they broke your heart and you're still hurt and resentful over that. Right now there's way too much history and pain to get past before you can even think of getting close to them. All they are to you are Lila's other mother and her brother. Don't let them hurt you again."

Regina nods, "I'm not going to. I can't. I don't want them back Ruby. I don't want to want them back"

Ruby smiles sadly at her pulling her in for another hug, "I know. Just remember you're not doing this alone."

"I know, thank you Ruby. Now, I think we should both get some sleep before tomorrow. It's going to be a long day." She sense there'll be a lot of long and possibly heart-breaking days ahead. She just hopes things will go well for Lila tomorrow.

* * *

 

Regina enters the diner chewing nervously on her lower lip as she carries Lila on her hip. Her daughter oblivious to the stares of the townspeople excitedly babbles on in her two year old gibberish about the new and exciting things she spots around her.

Ruby waves at the pair giving her a reassuring smile which Regina returns to try and tamp down her anxiety. _This is for Lila_ she reminds herself taking a deep breath as she tells herself just exactly why she can be strong.

She spots Emma and Henry in the back booth and knows that this is time. She wonders what Henry will look like now. It’s been three years since she last saw him. She can pinpoint the exact last moment she saw him. It was that dinner that Snow threw and spent the entire meal pushing Neal at Emma. It was their last meal together. It was after that meal where Emma called Henry ‘her’ son and she realised that she was not enough for either of them. That was a month before she left. In that month she didn’t even get a phone call or a cursory wave when she saw him on the street.

She thinks sadly of all the things she missed. She’ll have missed him going into puberty. She’ll more than likely will have missed his first date and his first kiss. Moments that she had dreamed about when she first held him that she never got to see because he decided that Emma was the only mother he wanted.

Her heart catches as she sees the tall brunette sitting next to Emma. She almost can’t believe the Henry sitting there is the same little boy she left behind.

_Okay here goes_ she thinks before sliding in across from them.

Emma and Henry both stare at her in shock once more as they see the little girl who is so clearly a mixture of both her mothers.

Regina sets Lila down next to her before turning her gaze from her daughter to the stunned pair, “Emma, Henry this is Lila.”

_Thanks for reading :)_


	4. Chapter 4

_Hi all. So sorry for the delay, I've been bogged down by uni work lately do updates have been taking me ages. Hopefully once I finish my essays the updates will come a bit faster. Thank you for all your feedback so far. Apologies for any mistakes and I hope you like this chapter :)_

(Boston – October 2013)

Tears roll down Regina's cheek as she clenches her fists around the rail of her hospital bed. She went into labour early this morning and she's terrified. Today more than any other day she wishes Emma were here, that it were possible for her to be here. She knew when she left what it would mean, that it would just be her and the baby. She knows she had to leave, that if she had stayed they would have taken her baby or Emma would have stayed out of obligation not love. Regina couldn't have lived either of those lives.

She couldn't bring another baby into their situation.

She couldn't make another child grow up seeing her and Emma fall apart.

A contraction ripples through her and she cries out in pain. It was going into labour that hammered home her reality. There's a difference between deciding to leave and go it alone and being alone. She cries herself to sleep most nights contemplating going back to Storybrooke and dreaming of her family.

When she first found out she was pregnant she dreamt of what this day would be like. She dreamt of Emma holding her hand and encouraging her. She dreamt of Emma kissing her when it was over and them meeting their beautiful new baby as they pictured their future ahead of them. She dreamt of them introducing the baby to its big brother and the four of them sitting together on the little hospital bed, a happy little family.

A dream that could never be real.

Not while Emma pushed her away and Henry hated her.

She had to protect her baby. She had to fight for her happy ending. She had tried with Emma and Henry but they would not fight with her and so that battle was lost.

With her baby she knew she could be happy. She finally had hope again. She couldn't lose that. She couldn't lose her hope and chance for any happiness. It's why in her desperation she crossed the town line that night. She wanted a family and a happy ending and she knew it could never be in Storybrooke, not anymore but that it would be with her baby.

Today as pain shoots through her lower stomach she wishes with all her heart that Emma were here, that Emma would be there to see their baby.

But with every wish she remembers what would have happened. She pictures Emma snatching the baby from her arms and taking her away. She pictures having to watch Emma with her baby and Henry while she stared from the sidelines, alone and heartbroken.

What breaks her heart even more is that she doesn't even picture Emma standing by her side and them all being happy anymore.

She knows it was not meant to be.

She pushes and she screams and she cries. This is not how she imagined this happening. With one final push a cry pierces the air and Regina cries along with it, a smile bursting onto her lips as she sees her baby girl for the first time.

"Lila" she whispers stroking the baby's soft cheek as she cradles the tiny girl in her arms.

Sitting there staring into the face of her baby Regina knows she made the right decision.  _She's perfect_ Regina thinks her heart brightening in her chest as she falls in love with her daughter. She wishes Emma were here still, that it didn't have to be like thus but staring at Lila's face and squirming body she knows she did and will do anything to protect this baby and that they will both be happy, even if it is just the two of them.

"I love you Lila" Regina says kissing her daughter's head, "I'm your Mommy and you Lila, are my light." She sighs sadly before continuing, "You have another Mama and a brother but they aren't here now. I had to leave them for a little bit because I couldn't lose you Lila. Maybe one day things will be better and you'll meet them one day. Until then it's going to be me and you for a little while but don't worry because you and I are going to be so happy and I'm going to be the best Mommy I can be to you boo bear. I love you so much."

* * *

(Present)

"Emma, Henry this is Lila." Regina says nervously as her daughter burrows shyly into her. She places a kiss on the little girl's head as Emma and Henry stare at her in shock.

There's no question of who Lila's other parent is. Whilst the two and half year old does look very much like a mini-Regina, her eyes scream Emma. Staring into swirling blue and green wide eyes Emma knows beyond a doubt that the child looking at her in vague recognition is hers.  _I have a daughter. A daughter I never knew I had._

She doesn't know whether to scream or cry.

Part of her is furious. The only thing stopping her from launching into a tirade is the presence of her son and Lila. She wants to scream and vent over all the missed milestones, milestones she missed with Henry and now again with Lila. She wants to shout over a life she never knew existed, a life she should have been a part of.

She wants to blame Regina but even as anger floods through her mind she knows she can't fully put it all on Regina. The brunette may have taken Lila but deep down Emma knows why she did it. She knows if their positions were reversed she would have taken the baby and ran. After all she nearly did the same with Henry back when the curse was still active.

As angry as she feels she understands the impulse to protect your child and to be that terrified that you will lose them that running feels like the only option.

She wants to scream.

She wants to scream at Regina but also at herself.

Because of the two of them their family is in pieces. Regina has missed Henry's life. She's missed Lila's. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. They were supposed to be together raising Henry and any future children.  _Look how well that dream turned out_ she thinks bitterly. She has a daughter. Another first word missed. Another first step missed. First tooth. First haircut. First smile. Holding her when she was born. So many moments just gone.

She clenches her fist under the table curling her hands into her jeans to hide her anger so as not to frighten the small girl sitting on Regina's lap.

She wants to cry.

Lila is the exact picture of what she imagined her and Regina's baby would look like. Years before when she still envisioned that life with Regina, long before things fell apart, she would picture their baby. Deep chestnut curls, slightly tanned skin, Regina's sweet smile and Emma's eyes. Exactly like Lila.

Emma can feel the tears prickling her eyes as she keeps her gaze fixated on Lila who fiddles with her toy phone giggling at the animal noises as she presses the buttons.  _She's perfect_ Emma thinks smiling brightly at the little girl.

She had no idea what to expect when Regina invited her to lunch but this never crossed her mind. She never imagined that she had another child out there, a child with Regina.

It's in that moment that Emma realises her actions didn't just cost her Regina but so much more. She lost their future.

She's at a loss for words right now. She wants to say something but what do you say when the love you thought you lost turns up three years later with a daughter you never knew you had in tow? Tears burn in her throat as she struggles between anger and sadness.

She's still learning how to be a mother. It's taken several years for her to adjust to being Henry's Ma, to get to grips with being a parent and all the things it entails. She never realised how hard it must have been for Regina. For the first year and even before Regina left she was more Henry's buddy, the friend and fun parent compared with the woman he believed to be the evil queen. To Henry, who at the time had buried all his memories of his warm loving mother beneath that veneer of the queen, Emma was a bright relief. No-one pushing him to do homework or eat his greens, letting him stay up late and play video games all afternoon.

It was only when Regina left that they both realised the folly of their familial division. In pushing Regina into the bad cop role they had created a life without rules and well that just leads to chaos. Henry missed structure and routine, he missed all the little things Regina would do that Emma just didn't know how. Emma realised that without backup she had to learn how to discipline and make sure Henry was healthy. It was harder than she realised to suddenly be displaced from just the fun Mom role and take on everything.

Now she has to be a mother all over again and once more she has missed the beginning. There is so much she doesn't know about Lila just like with Henry. With Henry she learned that a lot of parenting is in the details, in the little things that soothe the child and keep them happy. She once again looks at Lila, drinking in all the little actions and expressions of the toddler noting how she is a mix of Emma and Regina in so many ways.

She sighs heavily wondering what on earth she's supposed to say. She doesn't know Lila but Lila doesn't know her either. She doesn't want to overstep here and frighten her. After missing two and a half years she doesn't want to miss anymore. Emma knows that no matter what may occur between herself and Regina she wants to be Lila's Mama.

Emma takes in how Regina holds tightly to the little girl as they sit in silence. At first Emma takes it as protectiveness but then she catches a caramel gaze that she still knows how to read so well. She frowns as she sees that the expression isn't one of determined protection or happiness at seeing Henry again but is instead one of absolute fear.

Her frown deepens before realisation hits her like an icy stab in the gut twisting her insides up. She looks at Henry seeing how much he's grown since Regina last saw him. She notices how Regina glances furtively up at him when he's not looking as if she feels she has no right to even peek at a son who rejected her so thoroughly.

The fear hurts Emma more than anything else. She used to be Regina's one safe place and now she is the one who causes the terror because Emma ultimately made one of Regina's worst fears come true. Emma always promised they would be together, that she and Henry would always be Regina's family. Instead Emma essentially picked Snow and Charming over Regina and never encouraged Henry to keep his mother in his life. She let them both drift away from Regina until eventually Regina had lost them both.

_She took Lila because she couldn't lose anyone else. She thinks I'll take her away._

She wouldn't. She can't. Henry loves her and he knew her. When Henry chose to come live with her he knew her as his Ma and friend. It was uprooting but uprooting himself by choice. If she took Lila she would be ripping her away from the only life she's known and into the arms of complete strangers. Emma knows what that's like all too well. She can still remember all too vividly being taken from home and after home and then being passed off into scary unknown places. She would never inflict that on Lila.

Finally Emma looks up at the pair swallowing down the lump in her throat. She can't meet Regina's eyes. There's a lot she wants to say to Regina, a lot of questions she wants answers for but she can't demand them in front of their children. That conversation is not how she wants her daughter to remember first meeting her. She takes her time sounding out the name in her head before voicing it with a bright tone she hopes doesn't sound as forced as she thinks it does, "Hi Lila."

* * *

(Storybrooke – May 2012)

Emma and Regina lie in bed together with their hands linked. They've just had one of their family movie nights. Henry's still distant towards Regina but Emma hopes that maybe when the curse eventually breaks that this will change, that maybe soon he'll see there's more to Regina than her past.

She knows Regina's been on edge thinking about the curse breaking. She's been telling Emma that it will happen soon, that she can feel it weakening. Emma just hopes that everything truly will be okay once they figure out how to break it. Emma believes it will be their happy ending, that once they break the curse they can all be together and start building that life she wants them to have.

Emma loves their family movie nights. She thinks of them as a preview of what their future life will be like. She's never been one to think of the future but then Henry appeared on her doorstep and brought her here to Storybrooke. She met Regina, fell in love and suddenly one night was not enough.

She's thinking about things she hasn't thought about since Neal, since Tallahassee. She pictures moving into the mansion full time. She can see it now, the three of them sitting down to dinner together, having lazy Sunday mornings where they eat breakfast in bed and watch TV. She can see her and Henry playing games together as Regina rolls her eyes and makes comments as they play. Emma wants a morning routine where they eat breakfast together before Henry goes to school and she and Regina go off to work. She envisions herself surprising Regina for lunch and them having a life of laughter and happiness as they raise their son together.

Images flicker behind her eyelids. Family picnics. Trips to the park or the cinema or Granny's Diner. She can picture meeting her parents and having them know who she is. It'll be awkward at first but she knows they can move forward. She hopes her parents will be willing when they see she loves Regina. She knows Regina is willing to make the effort for her, she's the first person who would do that much for her. That tells her Regina is special and that her love is reciprocated. After Neal she was terrified of falling in love again but now it no longer seems so scary. She smiles thinking about how she'll have a family, what she's waited for her whole life. Her heart sings with the prospect of happiness as she absently dreams of the future.

With Regina she thinks long-term. She can see herself moving in and then maybe proposing and eventually getting married.  _Regina would be a beautiful bride._  She doesn't know if Regina would ever want to get married again, even if she doesn't want to Emma wants to be with Regina forever. The idea of building a life with the brunette in her arms makes a wide smile paint her lips.

She dreams of having more kids. She can see her and Regina running after a whole bunch of little kids. She can see their future children idolising their big brother Henry. The idea of it makes her giddy with anticipation.

She looks down at Regina wondering if their baby would look more like her or Regina. She hopes the baby would take after Regina. She sees a lot of Neal in Henry but a lot of his mannerisms are pure Regina. When she closes her eyes and imagines their baby she has Regina's hair and bouncy curls and tanned skin. She pictures a little girl running around, all sass, humour and cuteness probably bossing Henry around and having her mothers wrapped around her finger.

Emma laughs already knowing what she would name that daughter.

The next morning as Regina stirs sleepily in her arms Emma tells her about the dreams she had and their future daughter. She tells her the name she has picked out.

"Lila" Emma tells her. "Like Lily it means innocence and hope but it also means night. Lila is my dream in the night time, our hope to carry us through what might be a dark time. Lila"

"Lila" Regina replies sounding out the name with a warm smile, "I like that. I hope we get to have her someday."

* * *

(Present)

"Hi" the little girl replies with a small wave as she peeks out from beneath her Mom's arm. She flashes the blonde lady she recognises from her Mommy's photos a warm smile. Emma grins back willing her tears to remain at bay.

Emma looks up at Regina, "We need to talk. Properly. Without Lila or Henry."

"I know" Regina says curtly.

Emma frowns at the tone, "Hey. No matter what happens we need to be civil. I want to be in Lila's life Regina. I already lost nearly three years." The unspoken 'thanks to you' dangles at the end of the words hitting them both.

Regina frowns back sighing, "I'll let you see Lila but I want to be there."

"Why?"

Regina chews her lip before just deciding to be honest with her, "Because I don't trust you anymore Emma."

Emma's heart breaks with those words and the raw pain filling them. She has a ton of retaliations ready. She wants to scream and cry that Regina left her but she finds she can't. She tore down Regina's walls and then destroyed the trust Regina gave her. She wants to scream but she doesn't know whether to vent at herself, Regina or maybe even both of them. She realises she has no position here to fight Regina, to ask her anything more than the brunette is willing to offer. "Okay" she says.

Regina offers a small smile before once more sneaking a peek at her silent son who has done little more than stare at Lila. He doesn't know what to say to his mother. The last words he spoke to her were "You are the evil queen and always will be." It's been three and a half years since he spoke those words. He doesn't believe them anymore. He hasn't believed them in three years. The last time he saw her he was a rash angry boy who saw the world in absolutes. They had lost the easy comfortable interchange of mothers and young children. They had no communication system at all. What words he said to her were of anger and rejection.

He doesn't know where he stands with Regina anymore.

He can see from the look in her eyes that she isn't the same woman either. She's still strong like he remembered and still an amazing mother. He can tell just in how she holds Lila and rocks her that she has that loving nature he chose to forget. He sees the same easy protectiveness she had for him flash in her eyes as she tells Emma that she'll let her see Lila but only with her there.

But she's still not the woman she was. She's not the Regina who chatted with them easily in this very diner and snuggled into Emma during cosy movie nights. She's not the same woman who wrapped him in warm hugs without hesitation.

His mother now looks at him as if saying hello would be overstepping her boundaries. Three years lost. Three years and they feel like strangers. The past sits between them like a haunting echo of what they had and what caused them to fall apart. He misses his mother. He has done for ages. He wishes he had known what he had but now she's here and with another kid he doesn't know what to do.

He wants her back. He wants his mother and a relationship with her but he can't tell if she wants that. He wonders if he can be a big sister to Lila who looks at him curiously.

"Hi Henry" Regina says tentatively finally swallowing the lump in her throat as she takes in the sight of her teenage son. He's so much bigger than she ever imagined he would be. She can tell immediately that he'll tower over her. She can see in his eyes that in three years he has changed so much. He no longer looks at her with anger and hatred but instead, like her own eyes, his expression is haunted with what they've all lost and cannot get back. He looks at her almost wistfully. She wants to hope. She wants to believe he wants her but her memories hold her back.

"Hey Mom" he replies uttering that title for the first time in four years. Her lips twitch up in a tiny smile before she pauses unsure of what to say next. Small talk seems too stilted and awkward but asking about the past three years and what he wants seems too much. She doesn't want to be the one pushing or fighting here. She will protect her daughter and make sure Lila gets to see her big brother and mama but as for her own relationship with them, well she can't help but be a little bit wary. Henry will always be her son and she will always love him just like she will always love Emma but this all feels so off now.

They aren't what they were three years ago and it's too obvious to all of them. Whatever notions Emma and Henry had of potentially making it up to Regina and just starting over again have faded slightly. They can see now that it will all take a lot more time since they'll all need to get to know each other all over again.

Regina can see that Emma and Henry aren't the same people she left behind. They're the people she loves but still are different enough for her to feel awkward just sitting her with them. Three years ago Emma and Henry were where she found comfort and safety. Now she just wants to leave this booth and escape with Lila to their room or the park so she can feel like she belongs again.

She misses having them as her family but she knows it will be a long long time before she feels like she can let them be a part of her family again. Family means trust and safety and well Emma and Henry aren't that anymore.

The thought saddens her but she knows she needs to be honest with herself. As much as part of her heart still belongs with them and aches to be with them again she knows she can't. She needs to think of Lila and herself. Last time she fought so hard for Emma and Henry whilst they gave up on her. She can't do that again. If she were to even consider letting them into her life she has to know if she can trust them. She has to know that she matters to them.

Right now, however, her priority is her daughter. She can tell Emma has grown as a parent but still she needs to make sure before she entrusts her to care for Lila. She has to make sure her daughter is happy and that she feels safe letting Lila be here. With Ruby she knows she can trust her because Granny and Ruby have proved that they are her family providing her with their friendship and support when she needed it most. Plus Lila loves them and knows them and so she feels confident leaving her daughter in their care.

Emma and Henry are different. She doesn't know them anymore.

She flags Ruby over needing to end this lunch. They’ve met Lila and that’s enough for today. She can sense her daughter beginning to get cranky as her nap time draws near. To her it seems like a good cut-off point for this meeting.

She knows there will be more to come in the following days. She can sense a confrontation with Emma brewing soon, one that has been brewing for three years and needs to happen. She knows it does. That doesn’t mean she won’t dread it.

Emma frowns seeing Regina call Ruby over, “Are you going?” she asks. After three years apart a fleeting lunch does not seem anywhere near enough. She suspects it’s all she can hope for right now.

Regina nods, “Yes. Lila here needs a nap. I can call you and set up a time for you to see her in the week?”

“I’d like that” Emma says, “Bye Lila”

“Bye” Lila says snuggling tiredly into her mother offering the other two a half-hearted wave.

Ruby comes over with a slightly worried expression. She’s been watching from afar just in case but luckily the lunch seemed to go by rather peacefully. She looks to Regina who mouths “later” before saying, “Can I have the bill please Ruby?”

“We’ll split it” Emma cuts in and Ruby nods placing the paper on the table. Emma frowns as she realises that Ruby unlike everyone else in the diner hasn’t even questioned Lila’s presence.

Regina pulls out the necessary cash before adjusting Lila on her hip, “Okay boo bear let’s get you down for a nap.”

“I want Aunty Ruby” Lila whines and Regina freezes. Emma stiffens at the words before turning to Ruby with a shocked glare. “Aunty Ruby?!”

_Always happy to hear what you think. Thank you for reading :)_


	5. Chapter 5

_Thank you for all the reviews to the story so far :)_

_I have other updates and dissertation work to do but I really wanted to get this chapter written so here it is. Apologies for any mistakes. Hope you enjoy :)_

(Storybrooke - April 2014)

Emma sighs as she trawls through another print-out of information. So far all of it has been useless. It's as if Regina just vanished without a trace. With a sad frown Emma realises that it was the curse that made that possible. Storybrooke was never meant to be in this world, neither were its people. She knows everyone here has identities and bank accounts and everything they need but it's all connected to the town.

Even with Regina gone the curse somehow manages to keep the town alive and flourishing. No-one questions it because they're just happy to go on with their lives. Even if they won't admit it they're grateful because even if they were nobodies in the Enchanted Forest they all have identities here, they all have lives and names and a chance to be someone.

Emma knows that if anyone could craft an identity and extend it to the outside world then it would be Regina. She's smart enough to make herself an identity and one that Emma cannot trace.

She rubs her face in her hands wishing she had started looking sooner. She has no-one to blame for that but herself. It was her choice to listen to her parents and go to the Enchanted Forest. It was her choice to try and start over by forgetting. She should have known that would never work.

It's been a year. Nearly a year anyway. Eleven long months without Regina though it feels like longer. Emma feels tears prick at her eyelids as she sits there at Granny's.

Ruby comes over to fill up her cup and is about to leave without a word when Emma stops her. She's noticed how the other woman has been distant. Even before she left for the Enchanted Forest she noticed a change in their friendship. She chalked it up to a growing distance between those who wanted to stay and those choosing to go.

When she came back she wasn't expecting to instantly reconnect but she was expecting Ruby to just snub her completely. Sure she gets a greeting and polite requests for her order but little more.

Emma reaches for her wrist to stop Ruby who scowls before stopping. She plasters on a polite smile before facing Emma, "Can I get you something else?"

"Do your wolf senses work outside of this town?" Emma asks. She has to know. If they do then Ruby can help her track Regina down.

Ruby scoffs stepping away from her, "Seriously? We've barely spoken since you returned and when you finally do it's just because you want something?"

Emma frowns, "What? Ruby we're friends."

"Are we Emma? Because when I said I wanted to stay and your mother tried to guilt me and shame me into returning, like she did to so many others you referred to as your friends, you did nothing. How are we friends? Even when you came back you just expected everyone to welcome you back as if nothing had happened. Life doesn't work like that Emma. You can't just abandon your friends, treat them like crap and then play the friend card when you need to use them for something."

"You think I just want to use you?"

"If it weren't for my wolf senses would you even have flagged me down?"

Emma would love to say yes but she can't. Lately her entire life is about Henry and trying to track down the woman she should never have let go in the first place. She would love to say yes but it would be a lie. She wishes she could defend herself but she can't because all of what Ruby said was true. When her mother went around trying to railroad people into returning to the Enchanted Forest and treating those who didn't want to go back as if they were traitors she did nothing. She sat back and let her because she didn't want to upset her mother.

Now she sees it cost her her friendships as well as the respect of the town which she is still trying to win back now.

She sighs, "I'm sorry Ruby. Can we start over?"

"I wish we could." Ruby replies. "You're searching for her aren't you?"

Emma nods, "Of course I am."

Ruby raises a sceptical brow. After her encounter with Regina and Lila, her and Granny have called Regina and visited the pair twice. She feels protective of Regina and Lila now. Regina is, dare she say it, her friend and she doesn't really want to see her get hurt again.

In all honesty she doubts Emma's commitment to Regina given how long it took her to start searching in the first place. She was there to see how Emma pushed away everyone who displeased her parents. She saw how desperate Emma was to be what they needed her to be. She saw how much it cost Emma even when the other woman didn't. She knows Emma does love Regina but it took her nearly a year to start looking.

To Ruby that doesn't make sense. Had someone she loved gone missing she would have wasted no time. She would have started searching immediately until she found them. She could never have waited a year.

She worries about why Emma is even doing this in the first place. Is it to win Regina back or just to assuage her and Henry's guilt?

She knows Emma wants Regina back but having seen Regina and Lila she knows for a fact that Regina can't let Emma back into her life. Not right now. Not when her heartache is still so fresh. She made a promise to Regina not to tell and she has to keep it. She has to keep it because right now the Emma Swan sitting in front of her is no different to the one who pushed Regina and others away a year ago.

Emma frowns at Ruby's expression, "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well you didn't seem to care all that much when she left. It's been a year Emma. A year and you did nothing to find her. I could never have done that is someone I loved had just disappeared. You wasted a year. You didn't even try to look for her, instead you went off to the Enchanted Forest. Forgive me for questioning your devotion to Regina," she says before walking away and leaving a scowling and confused Emma to her search.

* * *

(Present)

Ruby and Regina freeze as Lila continues to reach for her aunt. After a few tense moments Ruby reaches for the squirming toddler, "Hey Lila Bug"

Lila grins, "Ruby Wolf" she replies before pretending to howl. Ruby laughs, "Yeah Lila."

Emma watches the exchange with clenched fists. She takes several deep breaths telling herself not to lose it while a woman she once called her friend chats easily with her daughter. A daughter she never knew she had. A daughter she has to get to know yet Ruby already does.

She thinks about the distance between herself and Ruby over the years. She thinks of how Ruby was the only one to question her devotion to Regina and her search.

She thinks about the fact that Ruby obviously knew where Regina and Lila were for some time and chose not to tell her. Ruby knew how much Emma wanted to find her. She saw how Emma would pore over maps and records only to find nothing.

Emma thinks of weeks and months of hopelessness and desperation when the answer was apparently sitting behind the counter of Granny's.  _I could have found her earlier. I could know my daughter. I could have made things better by now._

"Aunty Ruby" she repeats coldly. "You watched me for months trying to track down Regina and this whole time you knew where she was. You knew about Lila. I have missed everything!" she shouts. "I missed her first steps! Her first words! I don't know her at all. I know  _nothing_ " she spits that last word out with bitter tears. "Yet you do. You could have given me a chance to have my family back and you took it away! How could you?!" She yells not caring who turns to watch the scene.

Regina scowls stepping in between them, "Ruby can you please go put Lila down for her nap?" There are things she needs to say to Emma and she doesn't want her daughter to hear. Her first priority is protecting Lila. Right now that means making sure her first memories of Emma are not ones of anger especially not anger directed towards one of the people she loves most.

Ruby nods quickly whisking the toddler away to the backroom where she had set up a small bed just in case. She tucks Lila in before kissing her on the forehead, "Have a good nap Lila Bug."

"I will Aunty Ruby." Lila replies with a smile before sitting up messing up her covers immediately. "Aunty Ruby why is Miss Emma mad at you?"

Ruby sighs, "Because I didn't tell her something important"

"Why not?"

"Because your Mommy asked me not to. I made a promise to your Mommy and I couldn't break it" she replies.

Lila nods, "Pwomises are forever" she says having been told that by her Mommy.

"That's right Lila. Now get some sleep. I'll be right outside if you need me" Ruby says.

"'Kay" Lila says before blowing her a kiss and snuggling beneath the covers on her makeshift bed. Ruby smiles blowing a kiss back before shutting the door and moving back to the counter making sure she can see the room at all times.

Regina waits for Ruby and Lila to go into the backroom before turning to Emma. "Don't blame Ruby" she says.

"Why not?!" Emma asks angrily, "She kept you two from me!"

"No she didn't!" Regina hisses back, "I did."

"What?"

"I made her promise not to tell because I couldn't bear what would happen if you found out."

"What would have been so terrible?" Emma asks, "We could have had a second chance."

"For what? For you to take Lila from me? For your mother to convince you that she, you and Henry would be better off without me?"

Emma scowls knowing that at the point of Regina leaving both of those could have happened. Hell, it did happen with Henry. She listened to her mother and they both lost Regina. She doesn't know if she would have fought her when it came to Lila. She hopes she would have but deep down she knows she wasn't strong enough.  _I am now._

"You don't know that would have happened. We could have been a family. Thanks to Ruby we weren't."

Regina frowns, "It is not Ruby's fault Emma. Do not blame her for what is between us. It is not her fault that I could not have faith in you to protect me and Lila. It is not her fault that I was so terrified of you taking her that I made her promise not to tell."

"You made her promise?"

Regina sighs, "I had to. She asked me if she should tell you. I told her no. I didn't want you to know where I was. I wasn't strong enough Emma and neither were you."

"You don't know that."

"But I do Emma because I know you. When I left you, you weren't strong enough to fight for me. You didn't even look for me until a year had passed.  _A year!_ Emma, a year. Had you disappeared I would have moved heaven and earth to find you. You waited a year which means you weren't ready to find me. It took you a year to fight for me. When I heard you went to the Enchanted Forest I was devastated. I burned those beans Emma. I did that because I knew your parents would railroad you into going there and I knew you would hate it. I knew it. I knew you couldn't be happy there. To learn that you had chosen misery over me only proved to me what I meant to you. I fail to believe that that changed in a year. You can't blame Ruby for that."

She pauses for breath before continuing, "Do not blame Ruby because you've missed out on Lila because it is not her fault.  _I_  chose not to come back.  _I_  chose not to tell you.  _I_  told Ruby not to tell you. Those were my choices Emma and I own them. Own your choices Emma Swan but don't you dare blame Ruby for the wreckage of your own mistakes."

Emma steps back as if she had been hit. A tear rolls down her cheek, "You think I don't know I made mistakes?"

Regina sighs, "I know on some level you know but I also know that you're still blaming other people. You made your choices Emma. I made mine. You're mad at Ruby for not telling you but think about why I asked her not to tell. If you want to be mad, be mad at me, be mad at you. Don't take it out on Ruby."

Emma stands up suddenly. She can't be here. She wants to scream. She wants to punch something. She wants to tell Regina she's wrong and that she can be mad at whoever she wants. She can't. She can't but a voice in her head keeps repeating  _she's right_. She can't look at Regina's expression, both haunted, angry and sad all at once. She remembers the way Regina used to look at her and her heart aches in her chest knowing she may not see that expression ever again.

She can't look at Regina's face and be reminded of all they've lost.

Emma listens as Regina speaks and tells her not to be mad at Ruby. She wants to badly to have someone else to blame. The fact that she knows she can't threatens to suffocate her. She needs to get out of here and think and maybe beat something up.

"I'll call you about Lila" she says before running out of the Diner. It's her choice and one she knows she won't regret. She can't be here and possibly make things worse. She doesn't want to say something rash that she doesn't mean and push Regina away further. So she runs leaving Henry and Regina alone.

* * *

(The Enchanted Forest – June 2013)

Henry sighs as he rest his arms on the cold stone window ledge of his new room. He turns around looking at the wide draughty room. The castle is not what he expected. He's not sure what he expected anymore. Looking around at the barren and chilly room he misses Storybrooke.

He has a four poster bed fit for a prince but it isn't his bed. It doesn't have the blue sheets his Mom bought him just because they were his favourite colour. It doesn't have the blanket she spent two months knitting for him when he was six. Even after he started seeing her as the evil queen he still clung to that blanket because it reminded him that she loved, loves, him.

The room is far bigger than his bedroom. It's bigger than anything he ever had in that tiny cramped apartment. It doesn't fit right though. It's too big. It isn't homey or filled with all the things that made his room his. None of his clocks. No swan night light to keep him safe. No collection of books and old toys.

No photo of him and his Mom on the nightstand.

His sigh deepens as she flops onto the bed and tries to picture his Mom's face. When Emma told her that she'd done he'd simply shrugged it off at first. After all he hadn't seen her in nearly a month and in the weeks preceding it he'd barely spoken to her.

He still thought she was the evil queen.

Then they came here to the enchanted forest and he began to miss home. What surprised him was that he didn't miss the apartment. Not even a little bit.

When he thought of home he thought of the room he and his Mom had wallpapered together and decorated over the years to fit his interests. He thought of warm cocoa shared in their living room as he played video games and she tried to keep up. He thought of a rich laugh at any of his jokes even the ones that were just toddler gibberish. He thought of her arms around him hugging him at any opportunity before ruffling his hair and kissing his forehead.

He thought of being called "My little prince" and a tickle of his chin.

When he thinks of home he doesn't think of the apartment but of the mother he rejected. A tear slips down his cheek as he lies on the bed and tries to imagine being back home with her.

He wishes more than anything that he could go back and see her one last time and tell her he was sorry, that he did love her. He wonders if it would have made her stay.

He's only twelve but he knows that he made her feel unwanted. He chose Emma. He left her to go live with his new family. He thought she was the evil queen and that she couldn't love him. He was so used to it being her and him. He spent a year being angry and betrayed at finding out he was adopted. Then Emma came along and suddenly he had another mother and grandparents too. It was new and exciting.

They were good where she was evil.

Only now he knows the truth – that good and evil are not as black and white as they seem. His Mom did a lot of evil stuff but he knows she loves him and that she can be good. He wonders where she is and hopes she's okay, that she's doing well.

_Wherever you are Mom I love you. I hope I get the chance to tell you in person._

He wishes he had seen before, that he had understood that evil queen or not she was still his mother. She was still the woman who kissed his scraped knees and soothed away his nightmares.

He wanted so badly to come here and be a true prince. He wanted to ride horses and learn how to be a knight. He wanted to live in a castle with Emma and his grandparents. He wanted to live a fairytale and be a hero.

He wishes he had realised what those were like in reality. Fairytale life was not what the book showed. So far all he's seen is a devastated land that he cannot explore because it is far too dangerous for any of them. There are many people who he simply doesn't know where they ended up because they were not royalty. He's lucky, he realises, to live in a castle and not in some hut or shack somewhere struggling.

He never realised that some people were much better off in Storybrooke than here. He knows Ruby and Granny along with many others chose to stay. He also saw how his grandma treated them and heard how she talked about them. At the time he jumped on her bandwagon seeing them as almost traitors to their cause and as not one of them. He didn't try to understand.

Now he understands.

Now he would give anything to be a little prince again.

* * *

 

(Present)

Ruby comes over when Emma leaves, “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine Ruby” Regina replies. She isn’t. She wants nothing more than to curl up in bed and cry over the things she’s missed with Henry. She wants to cry over the pain she caused Emma and the pain she endured, still endures, over everything that went wrong between them.

She wants to cry because Emma still isn’t owning up to her mistakes choosing instead to lash out at others. She wants to cry because when confronted Emma still ran.

“How’s Lila?” she asks to distract herself.

Ruby smiles, “She’s down for her nap. I’ll go check on her.” She moves to leave but Henry stops her, “Wait” he says and she turns surprised.

“Gonna yell at me too?” she asks slightly nervously.

Henry frowns, “No. I wanted to apologise. Emma shouldn’t blame you and she shouldn’t have yelled at you so I’m sorry.”

“No need kid. Your mother has every right to be angry. So do you,” Ruby says.

He nods, “I know but I’m not. I understand why you didn’t tell. I don’t think I would have told me either.” He adds glumly and Regina frowns.

Ruby chews her lip, “It’s okay Henry. I’m gonna go check on your sister.”

As she leaves Regina looks to her son who is so unlike the moody angry kid she left behind. In his place sits a more grown up Henry, one who seems to be willing to understand a little more. She wants to believe in him. She does but still she holds back.

No matter what though she still loves him and she never wanted him to blame himself. Even when part of her was devastated by his rejection she never wanted him to blame himself.

“Henry” she begins but he cuts her off.

“No. I know there’s a lot we need to say to each other Mom. I know there’s a lot we no longer no about each other. I need to get to know you and you need to know me if you’re ready for it but first I want to say something if that’s okay?” he asks.

Regina nods anxiously, “Okay Henry.” She doesn’t know what to expect but for now she’s willing to listen. She could have been gone ten years but he will always be her son. His last words to her before she left were ones of anger and hate. She’d like to be able to think of her son and not hear  _I hate you. You’re just an evil queen_ when she does.

He folds his arms before speaking, “I can’t speak for Ma. I can only speak for me. I’m not going to lie to you Mom and I don’t want you to lie to me. I know this will be hard but I’m willing to try. I am. I know you might not believe that right now. I can’t blame you if you don’t.”

Regina nods. She doesn’t. Not just yet. Words are nice to hear but what if they’re just words? She chews her lip before saying, “I want to believe you.” Right now she needs more time. She needs to see that he wants to try. He’s always been in her heart but she’s not ready to welcome him into her arms again and just let him in her life again. She needs to know that it won’t just be her trying only for him to push her away. 

“I guess I’ll just have to prove it to you then,” Henry says.

Regina manages a small smile, “Are you still doing operations?”

“Not like I used to,” Henry replies. “I tried to help Emma find you but I couldn’t. I knew we’d only see you again if you wanted it. That isn’t the point. What I wanted to say to you was that I can own my mistakes Mom. I was twelve but I still made them. I pushed you away and I shouldn’t have done.”

“Henry you were a kid.”

“No, no excuses Mom. I was old enough to at least try and see who you were. You weren’t just the evil queen. You never were. You were my Mom and my mistake was not seeing that before it was too late. I chose to leave you and live with Emma and Grandma and Grandpa. I can own that. That was my mistake and I wanted to say sorry. I know it’s not much but I mean it and it’s a start right?”

Regina smiles, “It’s a start. Thank you Henry. I’m sorry I left you Henry. I wish I hadn’t had to but I needed to. I don’t know if you can understand that. I couldn’t stay. There was no way. All I ever heard about was happy endings and mine fell apart.”

“Did you ever get it back?” he asks.

“I have Lila.” She says with a smile.

He smiles half-heartedly remembering how she used to say that he was her happy ending before everything fell apart.  _Maybe one day I can be part of her happy ending again_ he thinks hopefully. He’d like to be but he knows they’re a long way away from that right now.

He doesn’t want to waste another chance to make things right. 

Regina reads his smile easily. She can tell what he’s thinking. He’s thinking that he can be part of her happy ending like he used to be. She wonders if it could be possible. He apologised and owned up to his mistake which was something she never expected. Especially not from Henry but then she never thought of him in terms of a mature fifteen year old and instead as that twelve year old boy from the past.

She wants to believe. She wants to hope that he can be part of her happy ending again. She just needs time. She needs time to see that he truly means it and that he does mean his words. She’s heard too many words that turned out to be meaningless. She wishes she could trust in his words more. She wishes it with all her heart but right now all she can offer is a tentative smile.

She stands slowly and he does too. She gasps upon seeing that he actually towers over her. Regina doesn’t move to hug him like she did in years past instead choosing to take in how her son looks now. She makes a note of all the little changes, of the traces of the little boy she raised still lingering in his growing form.

“You okay?” Henry asks.

“Just you’ve grown a lot.” Regina replies.

He grins, “Growth spurt. I waited long enough. You look different too.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. You look good. Happier.” He says. He means it. He’s noticed that she let her hair grow out with a natural curly bounce. It’s only been three years but he sees a difference. The Regina he saw before she left was sad and weighed down by the threat of a lost happy ending. Today upon seeing his mother he saw a stronger Regina. He saw someone who looked like the cheerful mother he had when he was younger. It was like seeing a ghost from the past. He was reminded what it was like to see her happy. He wishes again that he hadn’t been part of the reason she lost that happiness.

Regina smiles, “Thank Henry.”

She hears a cry from the back room. “I better get Lila and you better get home. I saw you don’t live with Snow and Charming anymore?”

“No. We moved out a while ago.”

He knows why she’s asking. He knows what she fears. “They’re in Storybrooke” he tells her as heads up. “They don’t know you’re back yet.”

“Okay.” She says trying to hide her nerves. She doesn’t want to face Snow White again. Not after what happened last time. 

_Next time - Snow finds out Regina's back and we find out where Emma went._

_Always happy to hear your thoughts. Thanks for reading :)_


	6. Chapter 6

_Hi all, a shockingly quick update but I couldn't get this chapter out of my head so I had to write it sooner than I thought I would. Thank you for all your feedback so far._

_Apologies for any mistakes. Hope you enjoy this chapter :)_

(Storybrooke – January 2012)

"I thought I'd find you out here"

Emma turns at the sound of Regina's voice and gives the brunette a half-hearted smile. She came out here to Henry's castle just to think. She loves it hear. It reminds her of the old play areas she used to go to as a kid. Between that and the sound and sight of the waves this place is ideal for her. No matter what else is going on this spot always soothes her.

She keeps looking out at the stormy blue of the waves watching the rhythm of their rise and fall. She sucks in a deep breath enjoying the sea air. After being in the city for so long this fresh air was a shock. Now she can't imagine living without it.

It's an odd feeling for Emma, for her to feel this peace and serenity somewhere. She's never really had that before, not without it feeling so very lonely. Here in Storybrooke however she sits here and feels like she's finally home. She never wants to lose this feeling.

She smiles as she feels Regina sit down beside her, the brunette fussing for a moment before settling on the old worn wood. She knows Regina fears that one day this place will be destroyed by the weather. Henry loves it here. They all do. None of them want to lose their castle.

"You came looking for me" Emma says opening her eyes to look at her girlfriend.

Regina smiles, "Of course I did. You didn't show up to work. I was worried. I heard about your argument with Henry and I knew you'd come here."

"How did you know?"

"Because this is your thinking place," Regina replies.

"My thinking place?"

"Yes, the spot where you come and you think and you process. For you it's here because it keeps you centred and calm."

Emma smiles, "I love that you know me so well."

Regina smiles, "I love that you let me know you so well."

They haven't admitted that they love each other yet. They're getting closer to that point, saying it without saying it. They both fear what will happen when they eventually say those words out loud. For Regina she fears the curse will break and she will lose the glimpse of a happy ending she's clinging to.

For Emma she fears that upon hearing the words she will lose Regina. Everyone she's let herself love she has lost. They've either hurt her or left her. She fears that the same will happen again, that she will let herself love only for something to happen and for it to slip from her grasp once more.

"What was your fight with Henry about?" Regina asks.

"It was about my trip to Boston," Emma replies with a sigh. She went yesterday just to get the last box of stuff from her apartment and finalise the cancellation of her lease. She was only gone a day but she didn't tell Henry. She didn't tell him because she knew how he'd react. He would either want to come or it would rise up his fears about her being able to leave.

Both turned out to be true.

"He thinks I'm going to run and leave him," Emma adds sadly. "I can see why. I always end up running."

Regina frowns, "Not always. You've stayed here and you won't leave him."

"I know that. I just wish he knew that. I'm done running Regina. This is my home now Regina. I don't want to run from here or the people here. I left but I came back. Surely that must mean something to him?"

"It does Emma but he's only eleven. He needs time to realise that you aren't the woman who runs anymore and that just because you can leave doesn't mean you will. With each day you stay he knows that you won't go. So do I. I know you're not going to run."

How were either of them to know that just a few months down the line both of them would run?

* * *

(Present)

Emma runs on instinct to the old castle. It's long destroyed now like so many things. She sighs as she reaches the area and sees the space where their castle used to be. If she closes her eyes she can picture her old wooden refuge. It was a space of calm but also of so much happiness. They used to come here as a family to have picnics or just an afternoon together.

She was so happy then.

Back then life was what she wanted. She had a son and she had Regina. It was perfect. She wishes sometimes that she had taken Henry and Regina and left this town before it all fall apart. There's a lot Emma would change if she could go back.

Now she stares out at the choppy grey waves and thinks of what was, of what she lost.

Emma sits down on a log bench. In spite of the weather that destroyed the storm, the bench she and Regina used to sit on still stands. If she closes her eyes she can feel the warmth of Regina in her arms. Sitting here feels like sitting in a ghost scene.

She hasn't been here since Regina left.

Regina's return has brought up a lot of old memories. Now everywhere she looks she sees scenes from their past playing out before her, taunting her with what they once had.

She sighs as she continues looking out to the waves.

She knows what Regina will think. She'll think that Emma ran because of immaturity or because she was scared or because she hasn't changed.

But none of those things are true.

Emma ran because she didn't want it to get any worse. She's grown enough to recognise a bad situation and what was happening in the Diner was only going to end in one of two ways. One would be Regina getting hurt. The other would be the pair of them destroying each other. Either way Emma didn't want that.

She doesn't care if people see it as cowardly or immature. All she cares about is that she got out of there before either of them had the chance to hurt each other anymore.

She's just so conflicted right now.

She's mad but she doesn't know where to direct that anger. She's mad at Ruby for not telling her the truth. She's mad at herself for pushing Regina away. She's mad at Regina for running in the first place.

So much anger and that was what Emma felt threatening to consume her in the Diner and she could not let that happen. Henry has seen enough of their fighting, he's seen more days than she would like of the pair of them hurting each other. Her priorities right now need to be Henry and Lila. She doesn't want Henry to see them fight and throw blame around. She doesn't want the first memories her daughter has of her to be ones of hurt and anger.

So she ran. She ran to avoid escalating the situation and letting all that anger out. She'll let it out one day and soon but not in front of her kids. What she wants is to sit down with Regina and have them just hash it all out. For them to get it all out in the open. She doesn't want every meeting to turn into that lunch. She doesn't want every outing to become a fight.

If they're going to be a family like Emma wants, even if they aren't, they need to be able to talk without resentment boiling under the surface. They need to sit down and vent. It won't heal everything but Emma knows it will be a start. She still has hope they can fix things but she knows for that to happen they both need to want to fix it.

She knows Regina still doesn't trust her, that she blames her for pushing her away. But the thing is Emma blames herself for all those things to.

However, as much as she blames herself for pushing Regina away and listening to her mother rather than her gut, there's things she needs Regina to know. She needs Regina to know how much she missed her and how much pain losing her caused her. She needs Regina to know that whilst she may have pushed her away, that Regina still ran away and that that hurt her and Henry. She needs to vent about how she didn't just lose her true love but her best friend. She needs to vent about her anger about not knowing Lila and missing her first years too. Emma has a lot of anger, resentment and pain. She knows Regina does too.

What Emma wants more than anything is for them to move forward, for them to start again, to get to know each other and maybe, just maybe, one day be together again.

She knows if that is ever going to happen then they need to clear the air and they need to not do it in front of their children. Some things are not meant for the public eye. Her and Regina sitting down and getting it all out is something that is for them. It is not a topic for gossip or for others to interfere in. For Emma, this discussion is just theirs.

She wants a mediator there, someone like Archie who can make sure they stay peaceful and civil. She doesn't want it to just descend into "she did this" and "she did that" but she wants them to have a proper discussion wherein they just get all these issues out in the open. They won't be dealt with instantly but she wants them at least to be out there not just boiling under the surface until they explode.

She turned a blind eye to Regina's pain and suffering before and it blew up massively. It cost her Regina. It cost Henry his mother. She missed the first years of her daughter's life. Ignorance is decidedly not bliss. Ignorance and secrecy destroyed everything.

It's why this time round Emma won't let that happen again. She wants them to be able to talk. She wants to know about the last three years for Regina and Lila. At this point she'll take anything Regina is willing to share. She just hopes Regina will agree to one big clear out conversation where they start to deal with their issues, if not for them then for their family. Even if they don't end up together again their children need them to not be at each other's throats all the time.

Emma sighs again staring back out at the water that normally soothes her so. Today its raging waters seems to complement her battling thoughts perfectly.

She can't calm her thoughts today.

She thinks about Lila. Emma never doubted that Regina was a good mother and seeing Lila just reminded her of that. Lila is a happy and lovely little girl and Emma looks forward to getting to know her. The second she saw Lila she knew she was hers, hers and Regina's. It was all in her eyes, they're Emma's eyes. Now she just wants to soak up every moment and learn everything she can about the daughter she's missed too much of already. She wants to be Lila's mother and she wants Lila to see her as more than someone who brings that haunted sorrowful look to Regina's eyes.

She thinks about Henry and how he must be doing. He seemed okay at lunch, quiet but okay. She knows how much he has missed Regina and how much Regina has missed of him. They are in a similar position to her and Lila, parent and child yet strangers. She's still not sure if he's forgiven Regina for leaving, she's not sure if she has, even if he hasn't she hopes they can rebuild their relationship.

She thinks about Regina. She doesn't know what to think about Regina. Emma still loves her. She loves her so much and part of her yearned to just take Regina in her arms and pretend they could pick up where they left off. She knows they can't. They can't because there's so much past between them and so much lost time. She isn't the same woman Regina left behind much as Regina is not the same woman who left three years ago. They need to get to know each other again. Emma just hopes that for Regina that love still remains. It does for her even though she knows they are not ready to act upon it. She won't. Not until Regina is ready. Emma knows it's a long road ahead. They need to know each other. They need to prove they can trust each other and be mothers to their children without ripping each other to pieces.

Her mind drifts finally to her family. Her parents are back in Storybrooke too and whilst they see each other things have been strained ever since Emma chose to leave the Enchanted Forest. For Emma, whilst she has patched things up with her father who has admitted that they were wrong to be so heavy handed about her relationship with Regina and the Enchanted Forest, with Snow things are still awkward. Her mother won't admit that she made a mistake in forcing Emma along. She just acts like things should be okay without realising how she made Emma feel. Sometimes, Emma still feels as if she isn't enough for Snow. She knows she has to tell them but she has no idea how they'll react especially to the revelation about Lila.

She fears that Regina will be right and that Snow will want to her try and take Lila away from Regina and bring her to live with Emma. However, Emma knows she would never do that. One look at Lila and you can see that she is a cherished and adored little girl. Regina has raised her well and clearly with love. Emma would never take Lila away from the only mother and life she's ever known and she won't let anyone else either.

That is the one thing she knows for certain.

* * *

(Storybrooke – April 2013)

Regina hasn't seen Emma in days. She saw her about a week ago but Emma was distant. There was clearly something on her mind but whatever it was she wasn't sharing. That hurt. It hurt her so deeply because Regina used to be the person who Emma shared everything with even if it was just some incidental thing like that she didn't like the new brand of peanut butter Mary Margaret had bought. Now she just gets shut out.

Regina sighs staring at her lunch for one. She doesn't feel hungry yet she has to eat. She has to eat because of the baby. A baby she didn't know she was having until two weeks ago. A baby she knows without a doubt is Emma's, probably conceived around the time Emma returned from the Enchanted Forest.

A time when they were just happy to see each other. A time when those two weeks apart were agony. Now, Emma flits in and out of her life and all Regina can do is miss her and wonder when she will see the blonde again.

A knock on her door startles her. She rarely gets visitors anymore.

She gets up slowly not bothering to put on a pretence for her surprise guest. Why put on a brave face when no-one cares anyway?

She's nothing to the people in this town. Even to her family she is just an incidental outsider who they occasionally remember to check in on.

Regina looks at the mirror making sure her hair is tidy. Whilst she sees no point in putting on a queen façade she won't open the door looking as dishevelled as she feels. She peers through her peephole and tries to suppress a groan upon seeing Snow White. For Emma and Henry she has tried to make amends with Snow. She has tried to be civil and be a part of their family but the other woman simply will not have it. All Snow does is try and steer Emma towards Neal and a life in the Enchanted Forest. She doesn't care that Regina loves her daughter. To Snow she is the evil queen and she won't change.

Some days Regina wants to kick and scream over the injustice of it. They moan and complain about how she never changes and yet when she tries they refuse to believe it. She simply cannot win.  _No-one's winning here_ she thinks bitterly.

She pulls open the door, "Snow" she says evenly in greeting. She won't pretend to muster up warmth for a woman who openly still hates and distrusts her.

"Regina can we talk?" Snow asks. There's no preamble. Snow simply wants to say her piece and go. Regina, too is grateful for she is no mood for small talk. She needs to think about her baby and what she's going to do.

Regina sighs before gesturing for her to come in, "Fine"

She sits down at the table and waits for the other woman to take a seat. "Tea?" she asks but Snow shakes her head, "I won't be here long."

_Thank god for that_  Regina thinks. She rests one hand subconsciously on her currently flat belly before taking it off lest Snow notice. She doesn't want Snow to know. She fears what Snow will suggest. Her greatest fear of all is that Snow will take this baby from her.

"What can I do for you Snow?"

"I want you to stop getting in the way of Emma's happy ending."

Regina rears back angered and hurt, "What?" she asks. She can barely restrain her rage, feeling her hands curl into fists below the table. Who is Snow to tell her to stop getting in the way of Emma's happy ending when she and Emma are meant to be each other's?

"You heard me," Snow says.

"I'm hoping I was wrong," Regina replies icily. She and Emma broke the curse. They're meant to be happy together.  _But you're not_  a voice in Regina's head reminds her. Neither one of them are and she can't help but wonder if maybe she is stopping Emma from being happy.

"You didn't. Regina I'm her mother and I want her to be happy. Do you really think her happiness is with  _you_? Do you think anyone's is? You're the evil queen" Snow reminds her, "Even you told me your heart was blackened and that the woman who saved me was long gone so how can you expect me to believe that you can make my daughter happy?"

"What about Henry?"

"What about him?  _Emma_  is his mother. When was the last time you even saw him?"

Tears brim in her eyes at Snow's cruel reminder of her son's rejection but she won't let them fall in front of the other woman.

"Emma and I broke the curse" Regina reminds Snow and Snow scoffs.

"Yes you did and have you made her happy since then?" Snow asks pointedly and Regina frowns. She thinks over the last few months and how she and Emma never really got the chance to be happy after the curse broke. They've had a few shining moments but otherwise they've been apart. She stays silent and Snow continues, "Neal is back now Regina and I know Emma and Henry can be happy. They can be a family together. The only thing in the way is you and we both know they'll be better off without you."

With that Snow leaves leaving Regina to sit at the table and mull over Snow's words. She believed she was Emma's happy ending. Henry is her son. Emma is her true love.

And yet none of them are happy.

She can't help but wonder if maybe Snow was right, if maybe all of their happy ending is not together after all.

* * *

(Present)

Emma pauses at the apartment door taking a deep breath to calm her nerves before knocking. She’s grateful when it’s her father who opens the door and not Snow.

“Hey” she says.

Charming takes in his daughter’s expression, a mix of guilt, sadness, anger and pulls her in for a hug. He may not know what’s going on but Emma needs to know he’s here for her. She melts into the embrace. She feels herself calm down as he holds her until she pulls away.

“What’s going on?” he asks.

“Is Snow around?”

He nods leading her round to the kitchen where Snow sits. “Emma! This is a nice surprise.”

Emma smiles nervously before sitting down, “Okay. I need to tell you something really important. Please don’t freak out.”

Charming smiles, “Whatever it is Emma you know we have your back.”

She grins before just jumping in, “Regina’s back.”

Charming gasps and they both jump as they hear Snow’s mug smash to the ground as she pales. “Regina’s back. For the love of god why?” she asks.

Charming frowns at her before looking at Emma, “How are you?”

“I don’t know,” she says in reply to his question, “I don’t know what to do.”

Snow scoffs, “Why do you need to do anything? She left you. Stay away from her.”

Emma frowns, “I can’t. I have something else to tell you. Regina didn’t come back alone. She has a daughter, my daughter.”

At that Snow’s expression changes, “And she kept her from you?”

Emma nods, “Yes.”

She can’t read her mother’s expression but still it makes her feel uneasy. She can’t help but feel like Snow knows more about Regina’s disappearance than she’s letting on. She also reaches Snow would say something and give her some idea of what she’s thinking right now. Instead her mother frowns, a determined expression settling on her face, “If you’ll excuse me.”

“Snow where are you going?” Charming asks.

“Don’t worry. I just need to think.” She says walking out of the door. Emma and Charming share a worried look knowing that she’s going to be doing a lot more than that. They just wish they knew what.

“What do you think she’s going to do?” Emma asks worriedly.

Charming frowns, “I don’t know. I just hope it isn’t anything rash. How are you feeling?”

Emma sighs again, “I wish I knew. I wish Mom still wasn’t so anti-Regina. She changed Dad. She really did and I should have given her a chance.”

Charming smiles sympathetically, “I know Emma but there’s a lot of things we all should have done. We should never have made you come to the Enchanted Forest. We should have been more supportive of you and Regina. There’s always a lot in our past we wish we could change Emma but we can’t. All you can do is do better this time. If you want to that is.”

Emma smiles, “I want to. I still love her Dad. I don’t think I ever really stopped but I’m still so, so angry and hurt and I need to sort that out first. Right now Lila and Henry are my priorities.”

“Lila? Is that her name?” Charming asks, his eyes welling up as he tries to picture his new granddaughter.

Emma smiles, “Yeah. It was my idea. I can’t believe she picked the name we chose together.”

Charming smiles, “I think even though you were apart Regina still wanted her to be both of yours. Focus on your children Emma but don’t forget about yourself. You need to tell her how she feels and no matter what happens you know I’ll be here.”

Emma nods thankful for his support, “Thanks Dad.”

He hugs her again but this time it’s interrupted by Emma’s ringing cell phone. Emma frowns seeing Ruby’s name on the screen.

“Sheriff Swan” she answers.

“Emma” Ruby says from the other side of the line, “You need to get down to Granny’s now.” 

_Thanks for reading :)_

 


	7. Chapter 7

_Hi all, sorry for the wait but I finally finished my English Dissertation which means I only have two essays done before I am finished with uni, which means quicker updates :) Thank you for all the reviews to the last chapter. To the people wondering why Emma and Charming didn't think to go after Snow that will be brought up this chapter. Apologies for any mistakes and I hope you like it :)_

(The Enchanted Forest – December 2013)

Emma scuffs the floor beneath her feet and sighs. Why did she think coming to the Enchanted Forest would ever be a good idea? She's been regretting her decision for a long time. She wishes she could work up the courage to leave. Every time she decides to talk to her mother about her unhappiness here Snow simply gushes about how wonderful it is for them all to be together. All that does is make Emma feel guiltier for not being happy.

She knows why she came here.

She came here because she thought she could be happy. She knew it would make her mother happy and then maybe, maybe here she would be enough.

Except apparently she isn't. Apparently she doesn't dress the way a princess should or behave the way they should. Her father doesn't care. He's happy for his daughter to cling to her Storybrooke clothes because he knows they make her comfortable. He knows that whilst he would have loved to have raised her as one Emma is not a princess. He'd rather teach her to swordfight with Henry than force her to go to a dance lesson.

Snow, on the other hand has her own idea on what Emma should be doing in this new realm. She keeps talking about celebratory balls and inviting Neal so the pair can dance. She completely misses the fact that Emma doesn't feel like celebrating.

Emma just wants to go home because whatever this place, this castle, this land, is it isn't home.

"What's wrong?" Snow asks seating herself beside her daughter. Even the way she sits is different, Emma has noticed. She doesn't just sit down but instead has to lower herself gracefully down in a manner befitting a queen. Emma never wanted this kind of life, a life where everything had a rule and a way just because she was born a princess.

Emma frowns before looking at her mother, "This isn't what I wanted."

"What?" Snow asks.

"This" Emma says gesturing to the room, "This life. This living in a palace and being a princess. This isn't me Snow. I wish it was. For your sake I wish I could be whatever it is you want me to be. I know you wish you had raised me as a princess but you didn't. I'm not a princess Snow and I don't belong here."

Snow frowns, "Of course you do. Emma this is your home now."

People used to say that all the time to her in the foster system. With each new home she'd be told those exact words. They never made it true.

"It isn't Snow."

"Emma your home is with us, with your family. We all wanted to come here. We all wanted this, a fresh start." Snow says exasperatedly.

"Did we?" Emma questions, "A lot of people came here Snow but did they want to or did they feel they had to?"

"Why would they feel they had to?" Snow asks.

_Because of you_  Emma thinks sadly though she can never say those words aloud. Her mother is Snow White after all. She's good. She's a good leader and a fair princess and so how could Emma go against all that impression by saying she felt forced to come back as so many others did? When someone tells you that you're either with them or against them, it's easier sometimes to be with them than face the consequences of being against them. Emma's heard how her mother talks about those who chose to remain in Storybrooke. She wishes now she had stood up for her friends when she had the chance. She wishes she had fought to stay.

If only wishes could change anything.

For Emma they can't. Emma lost the love of her life. She's lost her friends. Her son spends his time trying to fit in and wishing to go back home. She lost her best friend Mary Margaret and now no matter what she does it doesn't feel enough for the mother who replaced her. She lost her home.

She knows why she isn't happy here.

At least in Storybrooke she was in the same realm as Regina and there was hope that she could one day find her. She knows Regina would never come back to this land. Here there is no hope.

"Snow I just, I'm not happy here. This land, it isn't what I wanted."

"You're not thinking about leaving us are you?" Snow asks in a hurt voice and Emma frowns guiltily.

"I, look Snow here's the thing, I don't know how much longer I can stay here and pretend I'm happy when I'm not. I can't pretend I want to be here when I don't."

Snow places her hand on Emma's shoulder, "Just give it a chance Emma. You haven't been here that long. Trust me you can be happy here."

_How?_ Emma thinks as she nods with a small frown.

* * *

(Present)

Emma sighs running her hand over her face as she hangs up the phone. She may not have stood up to her mother enough in the past but if her mother has done or is doing what she thinks she's done then there will be nothing stopping her this time. Part of hopes she's wrong. Part of her hopes that whatever is happening down at the Diner is just some random thing that needs her attention as Sheriff. Her instinct tells her it isn't.

"Something wrong?" Charming asks noticing his daughter's expression torn somewhere between anger and worry.

"Ruby says I need to get down to the Diner. Something's wrong and well I think we both know who's behind it."

"You think she went after Regina and Lila," he replies with a sigh.

"Don't you?"

He frowns before nodding. He wishes it were easier to defend her or say it isn't Snow. However he knows that Snow would do that. "Unfortunately I do."

Emma frown sympathetically, "I'm sorry Dad."

"It's okay Emma, if she's doing that then you have to."

"Urgh why didn't we just go after her as soon as she left?" Emma asks as she and Charming move out of the apartment and hurry over to Granny's to try and stop Snow.

"Because we had faith Emma. In our family we have a lot of faith. Even if you don't realise it, you still want to believe in her, to believe that your mother wouldn't hurt the ones you love."

"I hoped she wouldn't." Emma says, "But clearly that was naïve because when does she think about what I want? She didn't even stick around to find how I felt. She just went to do what she wanted. It's just like the Enchanted Forest Dad. It's just like before."

Charming sighs, "I know Emma but your mother, you have to understand that she has this vision in her head of what our family is like and what we're supposed to be doing. She has this vision of our happy ending. Sometimes it's hard for her to realise that our reality isn't like that."

"I know it's hard. Believe me Dad I know that it is hard. I let myself get swept up in her dream and I tried to please her but I can't. All I ever wanted was parents to love and care about me. I do. And I know that I am enough for you. I know that you love and accept me no matter what. Mom? I know she loves me but every time she looks at me I can't help but feel like she's wishing I was something else. I know what it's like to have your reality be much different to the happy ending you were expecting. Let's just do this." She says pushing through and into the Diner.

She wishes the sight before her was a shock.

Snow is trying desperately to hold onto a screaming and crying Lila who's reaching for Regina. Regina is trying to get her daughter back only to have Snow walk away and yell at her. Ruby is guarding the door trying to stop her from leaving. Henry is guarding the back.

"Thank god you're here," Ruby says, "Or did you put her up to this?"

Emma frowns before turning to her, "Trust me Ruby. I did not put her up to this. Do you think I want one of the first memories my daughter has of me and her grandparents is this one?"

"Sorry," Ruby says, "I just, I can't believe her."

"I wish I couldn't," Emma replies before walking over to the scene.

"Ah Emma thank god!" Snow cries indignantly, "here" she says holding out Lila like some kind of prize, "Take your daughter."

Emma takes the sobbing child out of her mother's arms and quickly hands her back to a crying and relieved Regina. "Thank you" Regina mouths checking over her daughter.

"It's okay now Lila Bug," Regina whispers rocking Lila to try and calm down. She keeps a close eye on Snow just in case. She couldn't believe it at first. She was sitting there talking to Ruby and suddenly just like that her baby was plucked from her arms. Her worst nightmare was coming true.  _It's over. She's here. She's safe._ She reminds herself of these things by snuggling the baby tightly in her arms. The difference between her nightmare and the reality is that it wasn't just her trying to stop Snow. Henry and Ruby blocked the doors keeping Lila and Snow here. The people in the diner weren't supportive but utterly horrified by the actions of someone they thought was good. Regina could barely focus on any of that until now. In those horrible moments all she cared about was trying to get her daughter back without Lila getting hurt.

"Is she okay?" Emma asks placing a hand tentatively on her daughter's back.

"She will be," Regina says as she feels the toddler begin to calm down in her mother's arms.

Emma nods before turning to her shocked mother. At the moment all she can feel is relief that she was able to stop Snow before she took Lila away. She is relieved that Lila is back with her mother and safe. Now that relief is coloured with anger. Anger that her mother threatened to tug her child away from the only home she had ever known.

"Emma what are you doing?" Snow asks with a shocked and confused frown. Her husband does not go to her side. Instead he looks at Regina trying to catch a glimpse of his new grandchild. When he does look at Snow it's with shame. Given what they know about their daughter's past he can't believe she would think that Emma would want to snatch Lila away from Regina. He knows that in some ways they did that with Henry. Rather than encouraging him to connect with his adoptive mother they encouraged his resistance to her. Now Charming knows this was a mistake. He knew it every moment he saw Henry and could tell instantly that all his grandson wanted was to have both his mothers back.

"What am I doing?" Emma asks, "What are you doing?"

"Bringing Lila to the home she belongs to. Come on Emma, would you want her to keep your child? You're Lila's mother Emma. She belongs with us."

"No," Emma says. "No Snow she doesn't. She's a person. A child Snow. Stop talking about her like some prize object you can lay claim to. Lila is not just my child. She's Regina's and I am not the parent that Lila knows. Regina is the only home Lila has ever known. And yes, I want Regina to keep Lila. Look at Lila Snow. She's happy and she's clearly well-loved and looked after. Why would I ever want to take her away from that? You may not believe it Snow but Regina is a fantastic mother. Look at Henry. Look at Lila. They are amazing children. Regina loves Lila and Henry Snow and I would never keep our kids from her. Not again," she adds the last part sadly remembering how instead of trying to get him to talk to and understand Regina, she simply kept him close pleased to be able to spend time with him.

"Emma you're her mother. I thought you would have wanted to have her."

Emma's frown only deepens, "That's the thing Snow. You didn't stop to think about what I wanted. You just assumed you did according to what you want or what you want me to want. You didn't ask me how I felt about Regina coming back or about Lila. You didn't ask me how I wanted to go forward. You just went out and did this."

"Emma you keep acting like I did something terrible."

"You did!" Emma cries in exasperation, "Why on earth would you think I would want this? I would never want to take Lila away from the only home she's ever known and if you knew me you would know that. Snow how can you not see that what you just tried to do was so incredibly wrong?!"

"Because Lila's yours too."

"Yes, she's my kid. Mine. Not yours Snow. That means it's up to me to decide how I go forward. It is up to Regina if I see Lila. We are her mothers Snow, not you. That means we decide where she lives and who she sees. For the record you won't be seeing her again anytime soon."

"Emma. I'm her grandmother!"

"No you aren't. To Lila, you are the woman who just tried to steal her away from the only mother she has ever known. I can't believe you would I think I would want this. I want a chance to get to know my daughter but I don't want her first memories of me, of our family to be ones of anger and pain. Thanks to you Lila's first memory of you is a truly horrible one. Thanks to you Lila's first memory of you is the same one I have of every social worker who came to take me away from a home. Snow you can try and kid yourself into thinking you did the right thing but you didn't. You can try and say you did this for me but I didn't want this and you didn't stop to ask. Don't defend yourselves here. You can think about it in a cell," Emma pauses before moving to handcuff her mother, "Mary Margaret Blanchard you under arrest for attempted kidnapping."

"You can't be serious Emma."

"You tried to snatch my child away from her mother. Damn straight I can."

"Why not arrest Regina? She took Lila in the first place?!" Snow cries indignantly.

"Regina is Lila's mother! I'm upset that I never got to meet Lila and I will never get those years back but Regina is her mother. You aren't. To Lila you're just a strange scary woman trying to rip her away from her Mommy. Dad can you please take her?"

He nods, "Sure thing Emma. I'll process her for you."

"You're just going to let her do this?" Snow asks.

"Yes," Charming replies, "Snow what about she said was wrong? You tried to steal Lila away from Regina. That was just wrong. I can't support that decision Snow. I want to get to know Lila if and when Regina is okay with that but you cannot steal her away from her life." He nods to Regina before looking at Lila, "Regina. I can tell you love her" he says before guiding Snow out of the door and down to the Sheriff's station.

As he leaves Emma turns back to Lila and Regina, "Is she okay?" she asks looking at the little girl nestled in Regina's arms.

Regina nods, "She's alright. Aren't you Boo bear?"

At the nickname her little girl smiles before turning shyly to Emma, "Tank you for giving me back to Mommy."

"Anytime," Emma says ruffling Lila's mess of dark curls before looking up at Regina, "I meant what I said. I would never take her."

Regina nods, "So you don't think I'm a bad mother?"

"I never did," Emma says.

"You're the best Mommy ever," Lila adds.

* * *

(Boston – March 2014)

"Please Lila, please stop crying," Regina pleads bouncing her sobbing toddler gently to try and soothe her wails. Regina feels like crying herself. It seems like nothing she can do will soothe her baby girl. She knows it's not her. She knows it's the colic and yet she can't help but remember the first time this happened.

Henry would not stop crying. He would for everyone else. She tried everything. She tried every trick she had read in a book. She took everyone's advice and yet all he did was sob. His wails broke her heart. What broke it more was the fact that nothing she could do would soothe him. Every touch only seemed to make him cry more.

For those first few days all she could hear were his cries and a voice telling her that maybe she really wasn't cut out to be a Mom, that maybe after the examples she had she just wasn't able to be a parent. Her mother after all was no example to follow, though looking back Regina still fears that she allowed herself to become far too much like the woman who still sometimes haunts her nightmares. Her father loved her but he could not or would not fight for her and she didn't want to be that kind of parent. She wanted to be a mother who would fight for her child no matter what. Now, Regina thinks about with a heavy heart knowing that she left Henry. She stopped fighting for Emma and Henry because it just hurt too damn much to keep fighting and be hurt.

_Maybe I'm just not a good mother_ she thinks as a tear rolls down her cheek and Lila's wails pierce the air.

"I know boo bear. I know it hurts sweetheart. I know. I'm so sorry. Ssh," she babbles as she rubs circles on the baby's back in a desperate attempt to calm her down.

Most days she knows she's a good mother. She knows it in Lila's smile and the photos she has from Henry's youth. She has a lot of happy memories that tell her she was not a terrible mother. She takes a deep breath and remembers.

_Henry looks up at her with a gummy smile before frowning in concentration. He lifts his hand, points and says "Mama" with a clarity that makes her heart soar._

_She sits a few feet away with Henry holding out one of his favourite stuffed animals. "Come on Henry. Come to Mama," she encourages grinning as her little one smiles at her before slowly toddling over to her._

_She pictures Henry riding his bike with a proud excited smile as she filmed him. If she concentrates hard enough she can still feel his palm slapping against hers in an enthusiastic high five as he whizzed around the garden._

_She has so many memories of his hugs, of how his arms would try to wrap around her like hers wrapped around him. She would always hug with everything she had, one because she couldn't envision letting go, two because she loved him and just wanted to show him that with everything she has._

_Lila stares up at her from her crib kicking her legs. Regina smiles at her baby before tickling her stomach. Lila kicks her legs as always but this time she smiles. She smiles and Regina's heart catches in her chest at the beautiful smile directed straight at her._

Regina feels herself calm down as she thinks of those memories. She can still hear Lila sobbing in her ear and it still breaks her heart but she knows, she knows deep down that she can be a mother, that she is a mother.  _You can do this Regina_.

She never imagined that she would be doing this alone again. She always pictured being here with Emma, the pair of them staying up and soothing their daughter. She never pictured doing this alone again.

Then again there's a lot of things she never pictured about her future. She didn't think her happy ending with them would slip away but it did. She has to cope with that and she knows she can. It hurts. It hurts so much sometimes to be here and know that Emma should be here too but she has to keep going. Lila is her focus now, her happy ending and she can do this.

She sits down with Lila before reaching for a scrapbook, "Okay Lila Bug. How about I tell you a story? It's not finished yet, well at least I hope it isn't because I don't this to be how the story ends. Sometimes in every story Lila there are bumps but one day there'll be a happy ending trust me, you and me Lila we're going to make it."

She smiles as she feels her baby shift but begin to quiet down. "Once upon a time there was a queen and a saviour. This is their story…."

* * *

 

(Present)

 “You know she really was,” Henry says startling Emma from the report she had to file on her mother, “She really was, I mean is a good Mom.”

Emma smiles, “I know kid. I’m sorry.”

“What for?”

“When Regina was still here I never encouraged you not to see her, but I didn’t encourage you to see her and that was wrong of me. You were eleven and you were angry I know. At the time I think I was just so happy that you wanted me. Before you, no-one ever really wanted me ya know and so I revelled in you wanting to spend time with me. I was selfish Henry. I didn’t stand up for your Mom the way I should have and I didn’t encourage you to understand her. I should have done.”

Henry nods, “It’s okay Mom. Look you can’t blame yourself for what happened between me and Mom. All of you could have encouraged me but at the end of the day it was up to me if I wanted to see her and I let her go. I forgot about all the good stuff under a layer of bad.”

“It’s easy to only see one side of things,” Emma says with a frown. “Do you ever wish we could go back in time and do things over?”

Henry smiles sadly, “All the time.”

“Me too,” Emma says, “I spent a long time not standing up for your Mom. I didn’t encourage Snow but I didn’t stop her either. I can’t blame Snow for my mistakes though. She may have been hurtful but I should have stood up for her. I should have fought a lot harder for Regina when it mattered. I can fight now kid but I still didn’t do it when she was in so much pain. I really just wanted to be what your grandma wanted.”

Henry nods, “I know Mom. I think we all messed up, Mom, other Mom too. All of us messed up but at least we can do better this time. I’m sorry you had to arrest your mother though.”

“Me too kid, but she threatened my family. As much as it hurt to do I had to. I think that now Regina’s back we’re all facing our consequences Henry. We’re all facing the aftermath of what we did and Snow, she tried to take Lila away. I need her to realise that she can’t do that.”

Henry nods in understanding, “I get that. I just know it must have really sucked. I know what it’s like to have this image in your head of your mom for ages and then have it not turn out the way you thought. For me it was my Mom turning out to be the evil queen. For you it was your Mom being like this. Trust me beneath that bad she’s still your Mom.”

“It’s different Henry. You grew up with Regina. You always knew she loved you and that for her you were enough. For me I’m never quite sure.”

“For a while I thought mine didn’t love me. I wish I had realised she always did but I know now that  she always did even if she didn’t always know how to show it. I know things are different and I’m not saying you should forgive Grandma for what she did because it was horrible, you should have heard some of the things she said Mom. It was horrible. She kept going on about how she was a terrible mother and that she didn’t deserve to have her kids. I know she loves you though Mom even if she doesn’t know how to show it.”

“When did you get so smart?” Emma says with a watery smile. She knows her mother loves her. She just wishes she could always know that. She wishes her mother could love her but still ask her what she wants. She wishes she was enough. She wishes she had stopped her mother from hurting Regina before it was too late.

Henry smiles, “I’ve always been smart.”

Emma smiles, “I know.”

They both look up at a knock on the door. The pair share a confused look before Emma goes up to the door. She opens it smiling when she sees Regina and Lila.

“Hey, I hope you don’t mind us dropping by.”

“No, not at all,” Emma says, “Do you want to come in?”

“Oh we won’t be here long. Lila wanted to give you something,” Regina says smiling at her daughter. At her name Lila brightens up before handing over the slightly crumpled piece of paper in her hand. On it are a few coloured scribbles. “It’s a wainbow,” Lila tells her and Emma grins tears springing to her eyes.

“I love it Lila. Thank you.”

Lila smiles at Emma before burrowing shyly into Regina.

“I wanted to say thank you too,” Regina says, “I mean it. You stood up for me and that means something to me Emma. Thank you.”

“I meant every word and I’m sorry that I never did it sooner,” Emma says. “I have something I want to run by you.”

“Okay.”

“I want to clear the air with you. Every time we meet there’s so much lingering between us. We both have a lot of things we need to say to each other. Things that make us mad. Things that hurt. And I know that our priority is Henry and Lila and for them I want us to have a big talk where we sit down with a mediator and try to get everything out on the table.”

Regina smiles with a hint of sadness, “It’s going to take more than one talk.”

“I know Regina. But one talk is a start right?”

Regina nods, “It’s a start.” 

_Thanks for reading :)_


	8. Chapter Eight

_Hi again, thank you all so much for your reviews so far :) I love getting your feedback on this fic and I hope you like this chapter :)_

_I was going to do one big session where they discuss everything but I realised quite quickly that wasn't going to work so I'm thinking there'll be sessions spread throughout later chapters because I think there's just too much between them to tackle in one session. So this is their first session._

(Present)

Regina stands outside Archie's door with an anxious expression. She's been here countless times before and yet the door looms larger today. It's a talk that needs to be had and that terrifies her. It scares her because it means opening up so many old wounds for both her and Emma in the hopes that somehow they can be fixed.

Regina's not even sure they can be. She's spent so long trying to forget, trying to pretend all that pain doesn't exist except she couldn't because it was and always will be a part of her. She wonders if Emma even realises just why she left. She wonders about the three years she was gone and how Emma coped.

She has so many questions and Regina isn't too sure she'll like the answers. She doesn't think either one of them will and yet the answers need to come out. This is just one conversation but it's a start. It's a way of beginning to move on and find closure that neither of them have ever had. There's so much between them that is left unsaid and Regina felt it in the Diner. She felt how that past weighed them down and would only cause more hurt.

As painful as this will be Regina knows they need to have this conversation not just for their children but for them. It will protect Lila and Henry because they won't have their mothers at war all the time but Regina knows this is more for her and Emma than anyone else. She understands that this is a way for them both to try and heal.

Emma sits inside the couch smiling nervously at Archie. She hasn't said much beyond 'hello' to him. She's waiting for Regina. She frowns looking up at the clock. Regina's late. She's never late or she never used to be. Emma supposes she doesn't know now. Regina is Regina but not Regina all at once. She's the woman Emma knew but also someone new who Emma would like to know but understands she can't until they reconcile their past.

If they can.

Emma hopes they can. There's a lot they need to discuss. There's a lot Emma wants Regina to know and a lot she needs to know. Emma has so many questions and she needs to start finding the answers if Regina will give them to her. Emma hopes Regina will because right now what Emma wants more than anything is to understand.

On one level she does. She knows that she pushed Regina away and made her feel unloved but she needs to understand what pushed her over the edge, what one moment it was that made Regina stop fighting and run instead. Emma needs to know so she can try and fix things.

She knows as much as she needs answer so does Regina. They both need to know how each other coped with being apart and about the time they missed. They need to learn each other all over again and Emma wants so badly to do that, but first she knows that in order to get there they need to understand where it all went wrong.

They were happy once and Emma truly believes with all her heart that they can be again but certainly not now. Not the way things are. She knows now that two people weighed down by their past can't truly be happy because those ghosts will linger in the spaces between words until all that's left is pain. She doesn't want them to pretend they're okay and end up right back where they were three years ago when Regina left.

* * *

(Storybrooke – March 2013)

"Emma where are you?" Regina asks aloud as she stares at her empty dinner table. Emma said she and Henry were coming for dinner. That offer of dinner is what's kept Regina going all day. Most days just the possibility of seeing Emma and Henry is all she has to make her get up and go about her day. Lord knows she has no other reason right now. The town despises her. No-one gives her the time of day. All she does is sit here in this house and hope that Emma or Henry come by.

Most days they don't.

Today though Emma promised. She promised they would be here and that they could talk. Regina went all out. She cooked Emma's favourite meal and even baked chocolate fudge cake for Henry. She set a table. She set out drinks. It all looks perfect.

Except for the fact that it's an hour later than Emma said they would turn up and she's all alone.

She looks at her phone to see if Emma sent her a message to explain but her phone is blank. She's not sure why she expected an explanation.

Right now she doesn't know why she expects anything from Emma.

They never speak. They rarely see each other. Emma promises to come by but then doesn't. Sometimes she gets given an excuse. Most days she doesn't. When do they talk it's brief. She wonders how things got like this.

They used to be so happy. They used to share everything and anything and now they never talk. Regina feels a tear roll down her cheek. She misses Emma so much. She misses having someone to come home to and share her day with. She misses having someone be there for her. She misses having someone to be there for. She misses Emma more than she could ever imagine missing someone.

Right now she doesn't feel like she has a girlfriend.

She doesn't feel like she has anyone.

* * *

(Present)

Regina walks through the door and smiles nervously at Emma before sitting down at the opposite end of the couch.

"Hello Archie" she says as means of greeting the therapist she hasn't seen in three years.

"Regina, good to see you again," he replies. Truth be told when Regina left all those years ago he wasn't as surprised as some people were. Like most people in town he had seen how their relationship had deteriorated. A lot of people never expected Regina to leave but for a while Archie had wondered how long it would take before one of them gave in.

Emma smiles at Regina, "Hey."

"Hey," Regina says. She doesn't really know how to start this. She doesn't know what to say to Emma anymore. She sighs thinking of their past when Emma used to be the one person who she could go to and say anything to. With Emma she had a connection. She never had to worry about being judged or awkwardness because Emma used to be there to listen just like she was there for Emma too. Now they've lost that and the thought sends a stab of pain through Regina's heart.

"How's Lila?" Emma asks. She too can feel the awkwardness between them and it only convinces her more of how much they need this. She just hopes these sessions will help them. Sitting here with Regina now hurts. It hurts Emma because it brings back memories of how close they used to be. Now, it's just so different.

Regina smiles, "She's okay thanks to you. Ruby's watching her."

Emma nods, "I'm sorry Snow did that," she says. She knows she has no control over what Snow did yet she can't help but feel like she could have stopped her mother. She could have stopped her so many times in the past but didn't.

Regina shrugs, "You couldn't have stopped her. I'm sorry you had to arrest her. I know what she means to you and that couldn't have been easy."

Emma frowns, "No it wasn't but it had to be done. She can't think she can do that. Lila isn't hers to take."

Archie cuts in, "Okay this is good but I believe the point of this session is to talk about the past. Right now you're both trying to distract. You're both trying to avoid the past which isn't going to work for either of you. You both need to sit down and talk about your children and the small talk is a good step but this session is for you two. It's for the pair of you to delve into the issues you have."

"Where do we start?" Emma asks.

Archie frowns, "Well where do you think we should start?"

Emma frowns, "I think the main thing I want to know is why. I know we have a lot more to talk about like how we spent the past three years and how we're going to raise Lila and Henry but right now I just need to know why you left. Why did I have to miss those three years? I know things weren't good but what made you leave?"

"Things weren't good," Regina repeats, "That's how you're putting it?"

Emma shrugs, "Yeah I guess."

"I think both of you have very different views on how your relationship was. Emma how did you see it?" Archie asks.

Emma chews her lip, "I knew things were bad. I mean I'm not naïve. I knew that. I knew that we'd sort of drifted apart but I guess I never realised things had got that desperate, that you chose to leave before talking to me."

Regina scoffs, "You can't talk to someone if they aren't there Emma. We didn't drift apart. You disappeared on me. One minute I had a true love and a son. I had you standing there promising me you would never leave and that you would always be there for me. Then as time it was as if you faded away. I didn't have you anymore. I didn't have anyone. I couldn't talk to you Emma because you weren't there to listen."

* * *

(Storybrooke - April 2013)

Emma unlocks her phone, her fingers hovering over the keys before she sighs and locks the screen again. Today her mother showed her a field full of beans. She knows what that means. It means they want to go back to the Enchanted Forest. It means going to a land she doesn't really want to go back to. Yet she knows she will.

She will because she can just picture her parents' faces if she tries to tell them she doesn't want to. She can picture disappointment and their rejection and she can't do it. She just can't. She figures she at least owes it to them to try, right?

And yet a voice lingers in the back of her mind telling her she shouldn't. A voice tells her to fight it and to put herself first for a change but she shakes it off. She wants her parents. She wants them to want her and if she wants a relationship with them she guesses that means going back to the Enchanted Forest.

She sighs as she stares at her phone wallpaper. It's still a photo of her and Regina. She smiles tracing the picture of the pair of them. She looks at Regina's smile and smiles. It's only then that she realises how long it's been since she saw that smile in real life. She realises it's been a while since she's seen Regina full-stop.

Emma let herself get busy. She let herself be sucked into her parent's world and into parenting Henry and before she even knew it, it had been three whole weeks since she spoke to Regina. She's had a lot of missed calls and responded with a few texts but otherwise they've barely talked. Emma sighs again before sliding down to Regina's name in her phone. It used to be her most dialled number but now she can't even remember it.

She really should call. She misses Regina. She does. She can remember how a few months ago they spoke all the time. They certainly didn't go this long without seeing each other. They didn't go a day without talking. Emma frowns as her thumb hovers over Regina's name knowing that they should talk. After all she loves Regina which means they need to communicate.

She's about to dial when Henry comes in, "Hey Ma, Grandma told me to come get you so we can go to dinner. Dad's coming," he adds with a grin.

Emma smiles back though she wishes Snow would stop inviting Neal all the time. Maybe one day her mother will get the message. She throws her phone down on the bed before following Henry.

Tomorrow, she thinks, tomorrow I'll call.

* * *

(Present)

"You could have called," Emma says. It's a weak defence and she knows it. She doesn't have a good excuse. In those last few months she made several excuses not to talk to Regina when she should have done and none of them were good. The problem was that she always thought there would be a tomorrow for her to talk to Regina. She never imagined that one day she would wake up to find that tomorrow was gone.

Regina huffs before crossing her arms, "I did call. You didn't answer. How can you not see how bad things were between us?" She doesn't believe it. She has to know that Emma knows at least on some level that what they had could not be repaired back then. Their relationship was not just bad, it was virtually non-existent.

Emma sighs. "I know," she says. At times over the past few years it was easier for her to pretend that perhaps things weren't that bad and that they could be fixed. That was far simpler than facing the truth – that their relationship had broken down to the point where it needed them both to be there to repair it. The main problem was that she wasn't there. She let their relationship fall apart bit by bit because she kept waiting for tomorrow. "I took you for granted," Emma says, "I do know that."

"Do you?" Regina asks, "Because it really doesn't feel like it. Part of me knows that on some level you might realise what our relationship was like but I don't think you understand how you made me feel."

"Then tell me," Emma replies, "Because I want to know. I need to know. I didn't understand back then. I was just so wrapped up in trying to be the saviour and what everyone else needed me to be that for a while I forgot to just be me. But here's the thing I was an idiot. I tried to be what everyone else wanted and it cost me all the things that mattered most. I pushed my friends away because I didn't stick up for them. I lost you because I let you go. I didn't try hard enough to hold onto you and that will be one of the biggest mistakes of my life. I loved you. I still do and I want to understand how we got here. I want to understand how I made you feel because I never want you to feel like that again."

Regina smiles sadly, "I love you. I still do but I need you to understand that we aren't getting back together. In the future? Maybe, I can't speak about that because I don't know what's going to happen. Right now I need you to know that I can't just let you back into my heart. My priority right now is our kids. I want us to move on from the past and heal but I want us both to want this, not because of romance or picking up where we left off, but because we both know that we need this to heal as individuals. I'm here for me Emma. I'm here so I can stop burying the past and face it instead."

Emma nods. She chews her lip before replying, "I'm here for many reasons Regina. I'm here for Henry and Lila because I want us to raise them without the awkward tension. I'm here because I do want you back. I know it's not going to happen now. It may not happen ever but I still have hope because I love you. I know though that if there is ever a chance of us getting back together that we need to deal with the past. But I'm also here for me. I need to face my past and reconcile my own demons."

Regina listens intently before nodding. "Okay," she says. She knows that Emma wants them to get better but she's glad that the other woman is aware that if it does happen then it will be a long time. Regina is well aware of the fact that she is in no way ready to let Emma back into her life like that nor does she think Emma is either.

Archie nods making a note in his pad, "Okay it seems like you both have an idea of what you want which is good. I think it's important that you're both aware that neither one of you is ready to discuss getting back together yet. I think for now let's keep the discussion to the aspects of your relationship that you both feel you need to deal with. Regina, Emma wanted to know how she made you feel so why don't you tell us?"

* * *

(Boston – May 2013)

Regina sits on the floor of her new apartment. It's empty but in a different way to the way her mansion was. This apartment whilst bare of furnishings feels nowhere near as lonely and haunted as her mansion did. She sighs taking a deep breath as she looks around her new home. Part of her feels better just from being away from Storybrooke.

Being in that town was just too painful. Every second spent in her house only broke her heart anymore. Waking up here in the apartment whilst she is alone she is reminded of new beginnings and her fresh start. Waking up here she at least feels a little hopeful that she can be happy. She misses Henry and Emma every day, she misses them so much that some days she finds herself crying without even realising it. Yet, being here is far better for her than being in Storybrooke.

When she woke up in the mansion each morning she would be faced with the space where Emma used to be. She would walk down the halls and see a bedroom where her son used to sleep. She would pad along hallways which used to be filled with her son's running footsteps. The kitchen would remind her of family breakfasts and dinners as she sat down to one solo bowl of cereal. Every nook and cranny of that house was filled with memories. The mansion, which she once called home, was now haunted to her, reminding her of everything she had lost.

What hurt her more would be the days she went out into Storybrooke only to see Emma and Henry happy without her. Those moments shattered her heart into pieces. She needed them to be happy, to give her any sense of hope and yet they didn't need her.

At least here in Boston she is not faced with the pain of those who had left her behind.

Now in her this new place she feels as if she can try again. She rests her hand on her stomach and smiles to herself. "We're going to be okay little baby," she promises, "this is our fresh start."

She hopes it will be.

She hopes for a happiness that no longer seemed possible in Storybrooke.

* * *

 

(Present)

Regina stares at her hands for a few moments as she tries to think of the best way to express just exactly how she felt. She, herself, didn't even know how to describe it until she had left and spent some time away from Emma. Only, after a few months of being away from that situation did she find a way to define how she felt.

"Regina?" Emma asks. Truthfully part of her is scared to know the answer. She knows from Regina's lengthy pause that how she made the brunette feel must have been far worse than she realised. She knew she had hurt Regina by pushing her away but not this badly.

Regina looks up before turning to Emma, "You won't like it."

"I'm not meant to," Emma says, "I hurt you and I think I need to know how because right now I know things had broken down between us but I don't understand exactly what it was that made you leave."

Regina sighs before she answers, "I felt almost as badly as I did when I was with Leopold."

At that Emma gasps, "What?" She wasn't expecting that. She really truly never imagined that she could have made Regina feel that badly.

"Not as badly. I didn't feel the anger or the rage that I did when I was with him but I the neglect and the loneliness? Yes. Emma you made me feel worthless. I felt like I didn't matter. You never called. You never checked in. How many times did you tell me you would come over and then stand me up? With Leopold I was pretty much a glorified babysitter who he would parade around when necessary. In those last few months I didn't even feel like I was worth that. I never saw Henry and none of you even trusted me to see without supervision. You never wanted to see me just to see me. I hated it when Leopold would show me off but I knew it meant that he felt I was something to show off. As horrible as that was the worst thing I ever felt with him was that I didn't matter unless he needed me for something. With you I didn't seem to matter at all. You never needed me. You never wanted me." She pauses before continuing, "You weren't as hurtful as Snow could be at times but you certainly never stopped her. You just sat back and let her make me feel worthless. Emma, you were meant to be my true love and yet all I felt was so utterly alone and neglected. I started to wonder if I even was worth anything at all. I had no hope. I had no reason to get up in the mornings, no reason to keep fighting. Then I found out I was pregnant and finally there was hope. I finally felt like I could be worth something to someone, like I could be happy just not here and not with you." As she finishes she swipes at her now damp cheeks to wipe away the tears that fell as she spoke. Archie wordlessly hands her a tissue letting the two women gather themselves.

Emma takes her time to digest Regina's words. She can't believe she never noticed that Regina had felt this way. She can't believe she was the one to make her feel that way. And yet she was. The thought makes her feel sick to her stomach. She had true love and she treated it like it was nothing. Emma realises this was her way for a long time. Pushing away was just another way of running. She spent so long feeling like she would never be happy, that she could never have a happy ending that when she had one she didn't even recognise it until it was too late.

She doesn't know what to say now. What can you say when you made someone you love feel like they didn't even matter to you?

She rests her head in her hands as she tries to imagine just how horrible that must have been. When she was with Regina she never for a second felt unloved. In fact she felt as if she were truly cherished and adored. For the first time she felt like she could be happy. And she threw it all away. She wonders why she keeps doing this to herself.

Before when she fled from relationships she was only really hurting herself. She kept herself closed off to avoid being hurt. She pushed herself into a lonely solitary life until she came to Storybrooke when she couldn't anymore.

She had Henry who made her realise she didn't want to be alone anymore. She found Regina and fell in love and decided to try to be happy. And yet along the way she broke a curse and lost herself. She forgot about the happy ending she had found and began trying to find a new one with her parents. In doing so she didn't just hurt herself but Regina too.

Emma feels a tear roll down her cheek as she realises the damage her self-sabotage caused them both. She never meant for Regina to feel this way but she supposes the intention doesn't matter. At the end of the day, even if she didn't mean to, she still broke Regina's heart and made her feel like nothing.

“Emma do you want to respond to what Regina just said?” Archie asks tentatively. As he asks it Regina turns to look at Emma too.

Emma gasps at Regina’s tear-streaked cheeks. She never saw first-hand the pain and heartache she caused Regina. She had felt her own. She felt it every day that Regina was missing from her life. On one level she knew that Regina must have been in absolute agony to make her leave. But she never saw it until today, until she heard Regina’s words and felt the full impact of Regina’s feelings hit her. Her heart stings with the weight of what she’s done. She didn’t just destroy her own happiness but Regina’s too. She promised to never hurt Regina and yet, Emma thinks, she might be the one to have caused her the most pain.

“I-“ she stumbles knowing that no words can really heal the pain she’s caused. All she can do is let Regina know she heard her. Emma frowns knowing she spent far too long ignoring Regina. She turned a blind eye to the other woman’s pain but she can’t anymore. “I-I’m sorry I made you feel that way. I know that probably doesn’t mean much. I know that me saying sorry doesn’t change anything. I know it can’t change anything because nothing changes the fact that you felt that way. You should never have felt that way and I’m so sorry that I was the one to make you feel like that. I never realised Regina and I should have. I don’t really have an excuse, not a good one but then there is no good excuse for that. You should never have felt like that. I wish I could go back and see what I was doing but I can’t. All I can do is apologise to you and promise that I will never neglect you like that again.” 

Regina doesn’t really know how to respond. Her last memories of Emma in Storybrooke are of being ignored and forgotten. To have her feelings acknowledged is a surprise to her now. She wishes she wasn’t so surprised by having her feelings recognised and listened to. All she ever wanted back then was for Emma to see her, for Emma to know how she felt and do something about it. Today even if it was just listening and apologising it was something. It was all she wished Emma had done so many years ago. It may not seem like much to anyone else but for Regina it’s a step in the right direction. 

_Always happy to hear what you think. Thanks for reading :)_


	9. Chapter Nine

_Thank you for all the reviews to the last chapter, this chapter's a bit fluffier than the last one or at least I hope it is. I don't own Once or its characters. Apologies for any mistakes. Hope you enjoy this chapter :)_

(Storybrooke – March 2012)

Emma smiles as she jogs up the stairs to Regina's office. It's a beautiful spring day and she's willing to guess that the mayor is as bored of being trapped indoors as she is. At least she hopes so. Emma finished all her paperwork this morning and spent the past couple of hours looking out at the sun wishing she were outdoors in it. She just doesn't want to be outside in it alone.

She knocks on the door and Regina looks up smiling at her girlfriend. They've only just become public and she's happy that they no longer have to keep it a secret. Regina knows that sooner or later the curse will break and her happiness will be threatened. Right now, though she's enjoying being able to be happy with Emma and her son.

"Hey," Emma says walking over to Regina's desk.

"Hey," Regina replies smiling up at Emma before greeting her with a loving kiss. "Did you get your work done?"

"I did and I was thinking maybe we could go to the park with Henry?"

Regina frowns, "I have work to do and Henry's at school."

Emma looks at her watch, "Henry finishes school in ten minutes. Now come on, you can sit here with a bunch of boring files or you can take one afternoon off work to be with your family on this lovely day."

Regina chuckles, "I'll come but only because I suspect you're about two seconds away from pulling out your puppy face."

Emma laughs taking Regina's hand and pulling her up. She kisses her sweetly before smiling, "Let's go get our son."

Henry doesn't fail to hide his surprise at both of his mothers showing up to get him from school. He takes a note of their entwined hands with a small frown. He knows they're dating and he's trying to get on board for Emma's sake but Operation Cobra still lingers in the back of his mind. He smiles up at his mothers before walking over

"Hey Moms. I thought Emma was picking me up today?" he asks.

Regina's smile falls slightly knowing her son would probably prefer it were she not here. They're trying to be a family but she knows Henry still doesn't trust her. She sighs knowing that whilst they might not be perfect they can still enjoy a day together. Emma squeezes her hand reassuringly before smiling at her. "Well I was but then I was thinking we could all go to the park together. You know kid like a family."

Henry chews his lip before walking over to walk next to Emma, "Okay. As long as we can get ice-cream."

Emma smiles glad he didn't outright reject the idea. She knows things are tense between him and Regina. She understands why. She's listened to the whole Operation Cobra spiel. She doesn't know whether to believe him or not. Regina has told her it's true and yet part of can't quite believe it to be true. How can the Regina she knows be an evil queen? It doesn't make sense to her. She shakes her head putting thoughts of curses and fairytales aside. She'd rather just spend a day with her family. It's taken her so long to find one that she wants to enjoy being a part of one.

"What do you say Regina? Ice-cream."

"Are you buying?" Regina asks, "If so I want strawberry."

Emma grins, "Strawberry it is."

* * *

(Present)

It's been a week since their first therapy session. They have another one pencilled in for tomorrow afternoon and Emma has no idea what to expect. After the last one all she could think of was how badly she hurt Regina and that it would probably take a lifetime for her to make it up to her, if she ever could. She knew this would be hard. She knew that discussing the past with Regina was going to be painful. She just never realised how painful it would be.

Her main hope is that at the end of it all they can come out stronger, that somehow they can reconcile their pasts and have some kind of present.

She sighs as she sees the appointment bolded out on her calendar. She has no idea what fresh pain tomorrow's session will bring. All she knows is that they need them or the past will crush them. She just wishes she could find a way to not think about it for a few hours.

Emma smiles as her eyes flicker down and over to a picture Lila drew for her during their last visit. The little girl told her the colourful scribble was a butterfly and Emma treasures the drawing and the moments she gets with her daughter. She has another visit with her the day after tomorrow and she can't wait.

"Hey kid," Emma says as Henry makes his way downstairs. Since hitting his teenage years he sleeps in on the weekends now.

"Hey Ma," he yawns before grabbing a bowl of cereal and diving into it. Emma chuckles to herself. In moments like this one she can tell he is just so her son. A knock at that door has them both looking up.

"It's Sunday," Henry says in surprise.

Emma nods, "I know. No-one comes here on a Sunday." Well her parents sometimes do but since her mother is still fuming over her arrest and Regina's return she doubts it's them. She walks over and opens the door. She grins at seeing Lila at the door.

"Hi Lila," she says happily.

"Hi" Lila says with a shy wave. The little girl is slowly warming up to her but Emma's just thrilled to be able to see her.

"Where's your Mommy?" Emma asks looking around for Regina. Her question is answered when Regina comes running up her driveway. The brunette scoops up her daughter, "Boo bear I said to wait for me."

"Sorry Mommy. I wanted to see Miss Emma," Lila says.

Emma smiles brightly before turning to Regina, "So what's up?" she asks. She hadn't expected to see Regina until tomorrow. It's a nice surprise but a surprise nonetheless.

"Well Lila and I were going to go to the park today and I was thinking that maybe you and Henry might want to come along?" Regina asks. She fidgets slightly as she asks the question. She can remember all too vividly when she, Emma and Henry used to go to the park as a family all the time. The thought saddens her as she thinks of how far they've come since then and where they are now. However, as much pain as there is in their past and as awkward as things still are between them, Regina was thinking that maybe they could have one afternoon where they get to spend time with their kids. No therapy. No intense conversations. No pain and horrible memories. No stilted awkwardness as they attempt to negotiate their new relationship as co-parents. Just a day in the park. It's a way of taking her mind off all that remains for them to talk about. It's just one afternoon of peace and happiness.

Emma smiles at the offer. She recognises it for what it is. It's a chance for them to just be parents. It's chance for them to be with their kids and distract themselves from whatever may come up tomorrow. "We'd love to," Emma says. She's certainly not about to turn down extra time with her daughter, and possibly an afternoon with Regina where it isn't awkward.

* * *

(Storybrooke – April 2014)

Henry sighs as he stares over his Maths homework. He drops his pencil before rubbing his head in his hands. God he hates fractions. He always has. Maths has never been his strong suit, ever since his first day at school it's been the subject he dreads.

His Mom always found a way to get around it though. She would always sit beside him even if she had a mountain of paperwork sitting on her desk. She would simply put it aside and kneel down next to Henry while they worked out his Maths problems together.

He smiles as he remembers how whenever he came back with an A in Maths they would go out for ice-cream sundaes to celebrate.

She did everything she could to help. He chuckles as he remembers the bizarre video game about Maths she got him. At first he cringed at the very idea of it because he would much rather have been playing Sonic but to his surprise the game helped and he wound up thanking his Mom for it.

Now he sits at his desk and frowns. There's no smell of cinnamon and apples lingering over his shoulder as his Mom checks his answers. There's no-one telling him cheesy Maths puns they'd found on the internet to cheer up when he couldn't get the answer.

He loves Emma but on evenings like this when she's on the evening shift and he's squirreled away in a corner of the old apartment as Granny knits nearby. He's thirteen but his Ma still insists on a babysitter. He just wishes she'd leave him one who would offer him homework help. Not that it would matter because it wouldn't be the person who had helped him for the first ten years.

He never thought he could miss a person so much. It's on days like this where he's torn. He's angry at her for leaving him. On the other hand he can't help but feel sad because he never realised what he had before it was gone.

He pushes his homework aside and allows himself to drift off into daydreams. He has two main ones. The first is where he tries to imagine his Mom and where she might be now. He likes to picture her happy purely because after so long it would suck if she wasn't. The second is the one where he finally finds her again. He knows that if he does see her again it will be on Regina's terms but he hopes the day does come when he sees her again.

When it does he hopes for ice-cream sundaes.

* * *

(Present)

"How's the ice-cream?" Regina asks as she and Henry walk around the park before settling on a bench so she can still see Emma and Lila. She wants so badly to trust Emma with Lila but she's still getting there.

Emma's apology at the end of their last session was a start. It helped Regina a great deal purely because it meant a validation of her feelings which was all she had wanted years ago. Right now as important as the words were to her she still needs to see proof that Emma understands and that Emma sees her. She needs to see that Emma has changed and that she is a person she can trust. Each time she sees Emma and Lila together she feels more at ease but she knows she still needs more time before she trusts Emma completely. She still has a lot she needs to ask Emma about and she knows that the therapy with Archie will hopefully help them regain a sense of trust with each other.

Henry shrugs as he takes a bite of the ice-cream, "It's good." He can remember the last time they got ice-cream together. It was nearly four years ago. He leans back at that realisation remembering how he used to hate it when Emma dragged him to the park with her and Regina. He used to resent any time that Emma invited Regina to join them because at the time he was wrapped up in Operation Cobra.

Thinking about those memories makes him realise just how much he's missed the little moments with his Mom. Emma's a great Mom too but it doesn't change the fact that for ten years Regina was all he knew.

He still finds it hard to know what to say to his Mom now. He can tell she feels the same way. "How was therapy?" he asks.

She blinks at the question, "It was….it was intense," she replies. "It's going to take us a long time Henry to get past everything but we're making a start."

"That's good Mom," he says. He saw how Emma was straight after the session. She spent a lot of time simply thinking and crying. He sighs remembering that there was a time when they all could have been happy. There was a time when Emma and Regina were happy and he could have been a part of it. Instead he played a hand in destroying it. "I'm sorry."

"What for Henry?" she asks.

"For trying to push you and Emma apart. I should have just accepted that you two were happy. Instead I stood in the way."

Regina sighs before putting an arm around her son's broad shoulders, "Henry what happened between your Ma and me was not your fault. After my mother faked Archie's death things were already starting to become strained. And well after you guys went to New York it only got worse."

"I know but I didn't help. When Ma and Grandma fell through the portal I moved in with Grandpa so I kind of made Ma move out on you too because she had to stay with me. If I hadn't done that then you two probably would have stayed living together."

Regina shakes her head, "You don't know that Henry. We might have stayed living together. We might not have done. We can't say either way. I don't blame you for what happened between Emma and I. We both made our own choices and we're working our way through the consequences of those choices. As for you and me, well I just want to get to know you again."

He smiles, "Me too. I can't believe you still think strawberry ice-cream is the best," he says pointing to her cone in an attempt to lighten the mood.

She chuckles, "Because it is or are you still a fan of the chocolate?"

"Always," he says taking another bite of his ice-cream.

Across the park Emma and Lila sit in the sandpit. She didn't know where her daughter liked to play so she let Lila lead the way and the toddler went straight for the sand. Part of Emma was saddened by the very fact that she didn't know where Lila likes to play. The other part of is focussing on the positives and the new things she's learning about her daughter.

This was exactly the distraction she needed. Sitting here in the park with Lila and seeing Regina and Henry together gives her hope. It lets her believe that down the line they can all be a family together and that they can have a happy ending again. She smiles to herself as she watches Lila scoop sand into a bucket so she can make a castle. Her happy ending may be a long way off yet but she can have moments like this where she can get to know her child.

"What are you making Lila?" she asks.

"A castle," the toddler replies, "'Cause I'm a pwincess. That's what Mommy says."

Emma grins looking at the dark haired little girl. Her hair is up in pigtails and she's dressed in floral printed jeans and a pink t-shirt that declares her to be a princess. Her daughter beams at her as she mentions her Mommy and Emma can't help but smile back. It's impossible not to see what a happy and healthy little girl Lila is. "You are a princess Lila" Emma says as she ruffles the toddler's hair.

"Miss Emma," Lila says as she moves her castle aside and walks over to the swings. She motions for Emma to put her in the swing and the blonde nods before lifting the little girl up and putting her in the seat.

"There you go," Emma says and Lila smiles at her before giving her a serious look, "Miss Emma, Mommy says you're my Mama."

Emma offers the little girl a small smile knowing it will take some time for the toddler to see her as her Mama, "That's right."

Lila nods, "So I have Mommy and a Mama?"

"Yes," Emma says.

"Okay," Lila says before swerving over to a new conversation. "Swing!" she shouts before looking at Emma. Emma chuckles before moving to push the swing. She can't help the smile that spreads across her face as the youngster laughs and shrieks as the swing moves back and forth.

Later that afternoon as Henry plays with his younger sister Emma sits down besides Regina.

"This was nice," she says with a smile as she watches their two kids play.

Regina nods, "It really was. I can't get over how much Henry has grown in the past three years."

"I know," Emma replies, "I still remember when he first came to find me. He was adorable and little and now he's nearly a man. It's scary how fast kids grow."

"Tell me about it," Regina says before looking at Emma, "Thank you."

"What for?" Emma asks confusedly.

"Henry. I know I left you in the lurch when I skipped town all those years ago and I know it couldn't have been easy suddenly having to do everything by yourself. I just wanted to say thank you because he's an amazing young man."

Emma chuckles, "I wish I could take the credit. He was already an awesome kid when I met him, you did a really good job Regina. I'm lucky he was as mature as he was. It took me a while to learn how to be a good Mom. I think I got there though with his help."

"You did," Regina assures her, "If you hadn't we'd know about it. He's a good kid Emma and I just wanted to say thank you for taking care of him."

"You're welcome. It wasn't easy but together we got there. He missed you a lot. I was there but you were his Mom for ten years. There was a lot of stuff I just didn't know. I guess it's the same with Lila now. I don't know her but I'm looking forward to getting the chance to. She's an awesome little girl Regina."

Regina smiles proudly, "She really is."

"I mean it. You've done an amazing job with her."

"I'm doing my best," Regina says.

Emma nods in understanding, "I think that's all we can do right now."

Regina smiles turning to look at her. She nods in agreement, "Yes."

They sit in silence for several more minutes as they enjoy the day. Their kids are playing happily together in the park. For a moment it doesn't feel awkward and both women can feel the lack of tension.

It's probably the most comfortable either woman has felt with the other since Regina came back into town. Regina sinks back into the bench as she watches Lila and Henry. She finds in this moment she has nothing to say to Emma. Their new normal in these silent moments is awkwardness and tension and yet right now Regina feels oddly comfortable.

_You're happy_ she thinks and she stiffens with the realisation. In this moment having spent the afternoon with Lila, Henry and Emma she feels happy. She feels like she used to do back when they were first together and that unsettles her slightly.

It worries her how easy it is to feel this ways, to feel happy and comfortable with Emma. It worries her because all she can think of is how they were several years ago and how quickly that fell apart. She shifts on the seat keeping her eyes on Lila and Henry.  _You're here for your kids_ she reminds herself,  _just Lila and Henry, you can't let her back into your heart Regina_. She can't. Not yet. Not when she still doesn't know whether or not she can trust Emma.

She can't let herself be happy in this moment because she fears it slipping out of her grasp. The thought makes her frown slightly as she realises how hard it is to be happy with Emma now. Before there was no over-thinking it. She remembers letting herself be happy only to have her heart broken.

She shakes her head before forcing herself to look at Lila and remind herself that she can be happy without losing it.

Emma switches her gaze between her children and Regina. It feels strangely right to be here with Regina. She feels her arm twitch before clamping her hand down on it to resist the urge to wrap her arm around Regina. The whole moment feels too much like before.

Sitting here with Regina she can't help but lose herself in memories of the past. She thinks of sitting on this very bench with Regina. She thinks of snuggling together on winter days and watching Henry play on the playground in the summer. This afternoon has been exactly what she needed to get her mind off of therapy tomorrow. Instead of worrying about the pain of the past or stressing over her mother's plan she got to spend an afternoon with her children and Regina.

All she can think of is how happy she feels right now. She feels like they're a family and that in the future maybe they will all be one together for more than one afternoon.

She lets herself forget about the past and the agony they need to overcome for a moment and simply enjoys this moment where she can hope.

She turns to look at Regina. In the sunlight it strikes her just how beautiful Regina is. She's always known her to be but there are moments like this where it takes her breath away. Longer hair suits her and the sun gives her skin a healthy joyful glow.

Emma loses herself in memories of the past. She lets herself forget the pain of the present and in that moment her instincts from the past take over. She forgets to resist the urge to give into the past and in that moment she leans forward and kisses Regina.

* * *

(Storybrooke – November 2011)

Emma huffs in frustration as she grabs the latest folder left on her desk before storming upstairs to face off with Regina. The brunette is equal parts infuriating and gorgeous and it drives Emma absolutely crazy. She can tell the other woman must enjoy their confrontations at least a little given how often Regina finds excuses for them to challenge each other.

She ignores Regina's secretary before barging into the woman's office. Regina snaps up before giving Emma a smirk, "How can I help you Sheriff Swan?"

"Seriously Regina?" Emma asks holding up the file, "Again?"

"Well perhaps if you did it right the first time," Regina says standing up to step into Emma's personal space. It's not lost on Emma that every time they fight Regina gets so close that Emma can smell her perfume and feel her breath on her cheeks.

Emma smirks back, "We both know this report is fine."

"Do we dear?" Regina asks.

"Yes. You just want an excuse to call me up here," Emma says cockily. She knows she's right and she's tired of toying around with it.

"Oh do I?" Regina asks evasively but she steps closer to Emma all the same.

"Yes," Emma replies dropping the folder down on Regina's desk. She steps forward until Regina is leaning back against her desk. Her eyes drop down to Regina's plump red lips and her breath hitches. She notices how Regina looks her up and down with hooded eyes. It's Regina who leans forward before pulling Emma in for a kiss.

Emma kisses back immediately feeling herself melt into the passion of the kiss she's wanted for so long. She savours the taste of Regina's lips as she cups Regina's cheeks in her hand to pull her closer. Both women delve deeper into the kiss before pulling apart.

They stare at each other for a few seconds neither one of them saying anything before they pull each other in for another kiss.

* * *

(Present)

Regina’s eyes widen as Emma kisses her. She wasn’t expecting it. For a moment she lets herself fall into the kiss before she pulls back into reality. She can’t let this happen. She can’t. It would be too easy to just fall into the kiss but she’s not ready. She can’t do this. Not now and now with Emma. This simply cannot be happening now.

She feels panic rising in her chest.  _Don’t do this_  her mind screams and she pulls away. She can’t lose herself to this moment. It’s too soon. She can feel her breath quickening and her chest tightening as cold panic overtakes her.

She can’t stay here in this moment with Emma.

She does the only thing she can think to do. She leaps off the bench and runs to grab Lila. She hurries off an apology and a goodbye to Henry before fleeing the park.

Emma curses herself as Regina runs off.

_Shit_.

She can’t believe she let herself get lost in the past and did that. She knows that it only takes one mistake to ruin everything. Emma prays she hasn’t just made that mistake.

She buries her head in her hands.

_What the hell did I just do?_   

* * *

_Thanks for reading :)_


	10. Chapter Ten

_I don't own Once or its characters. Apologies for any mistakes. Thank you once more to DefendMyGirlsHonor for the original prompt. I hope you like this chapter :)_

Henry frowns as his mother gives him a rushed apology before grabbing Lila and practically fleeing the park. He doesn't understand what the hell just happened. They were all having a good time or so he thought. He enjoyed spending time with his Mom and with Lila too. The little girl is still hesitant around him but he can understand that given that to her he is a stranger but she was warming up to him. Then suddenly Regina picked her up and ran out of here.

It doesn't make sense to him. He turns over to look at the bench where she and his other mother had been sitting. He sees Emma holding her head in her hands and he sighs. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that somehow his blonde mother messed up. He hopes it wasn't too badly.

He stands up exiting the sandpit before loping over to where Emma sits. He flops down on the bench next to her. "What happened Ma?" he asks.

Emma sighs as she looks up at him. He can see her eyes growing red and puffy as they shine with unshed tears. His heart sinks. He still has hope that his mothers might one day patch things up and that they can be a family together in the way he never allowed them to be all those years ago. Seeing his Ma's face right now he knows that that is a long way off. One afternoon and Regina ran and Emma is sitting here clearly upset.  _What a great start_ he thinks sadly.

Emma chews her lip before deciding on honesty, "I kissed your Mom."

Henry sighs leaning back in his chair, "Ma why?"

She shrugs, "I don't know kid. We were sitting here watching you and Lila and I don't know I guess I just got swept up in a moment. I really shouldn't have done. I know that. God. I mess everything up," Emma says in frustration, "We are nowhere near ready for that. Your Mom probably won't be for a long time given how badly I messed up. Henry our relationship is incredibly complicated and what I just did probably just screwed it up even more."

Henry frowns, "Maybe not. You just made one mistake."

"It's one in a line of many kid," Emma says. "When I pictured our first kiss after her return we both wanted it. It wasn't us being caught up in a moment and one of us acting impulsively. I wanted it to be part of a fresh start wherein we had worked through everything and managed to get back together. I messed up the past and I'm messing up the present too."

Henry's frown only deepens. He hates seeing his ma beat herself up. He knows she made mistakes but so did his Mom. The self-pity annoys him though because it doesn't help anyone. "Ma stop it. Stop going on about how you're messing everything up and work on fixing it instead. You made a mistake so try and make it better."

Emma nods. She knows she should but she has no idea how to make this better. She got swept up in a moment and pushed Regina into a kiss the other woman clearly wasn't ready for. It was the exact opposite of what she wanted to do with Regina back in town. She wanted them to gradually fix things not leap into them and possibly make things worse. This was not what she wanted for them. She knows it wasn't what Regina wanted.

She just hopes it hasn't pushed Regina away.

The kiss for a moment felt right and she knew in that instant that Regina still loved her. That gave Emma hope because she still loves Regina. Then reality crashed down and she remembered where they were in space and time. They weren't back when they were happy but instead in the present where they are fractured and nowhere near getting ready to be kissing. The kiss was brief but sweet. The sweetness hurt though. A kiss without love would have hurt less because it would have made it easier to understand why things fell apart. Without love relationships break down. That kiss, though short, was one of love and that only makes things harder because her and Regina still split apart.

She can't help but think of their last kiss.

* * *

(Storybrooke March 2013)

Emma pauses on the porch. A few months ago she would have just walked in but right now it doesn't seem right to do so. It's not something Emma has really figured out yet. She can't pinpoint it but since her return from her impromptu trip to the Enchanted Forest their relationship shifted. Suddenly they weren't too people for whom connecting was easy and who knew each other inside and out.

Instead they had become two people who barely see each other. Emma still loves Regina. She does. She just doesn't know how to fit her into her life alongside her parents and a still very angry son. Emma sighs. She wishes she knew how to go back in time so she could just take Regina and Henry and leave all this behind. Deep down she knows she wouldn't because this is her home now and she's done running from it.

She doesn't realise that one doesn't have to physically move to be running away.

She doesn't understand that she's been running for months. She won't do for a long time. Regina does and it kills her. It makes her heart ache to see Emma running away from here. She knows the moment things changed between them but she doesn't understand how it came to be and now she can't even ask Emma. She doesn't feel like she can.

Emma knocks on the door and waits. She got back from New York a few days ago and it worried her when she realised that in those few days she had seen no sign of Regina whatsoever. Snow mentioned that she had told Regina that they had left and Emma curses herself for not having called. In hindsight she should have done but hindsight comes far too late and the damage has already been done.

Emma just doesn't see it yet.

Regina pulls the door open blinking in surprise when she sees Emma. "You're back," she says in shock.

"Hey," Emma says sheepishly.

Regina frowns, "That's all you have to say to me? Hey? Emma you left me without a word. You and Henry just disappeared and I had to find out from Snow who practically rubbed it in my face that I had no part in your lives. Do I Emma?"

Emma frowns, "Do you what?"

"Do I have a place in Henry's life? In yours?" she asks desperately. She doesn't feel like she does anymore. She missed Emma and Henry with all her heart but they didn't even try to reach out to her. That coupled with what happened in the wake of Archie's "death" has left Regina feeling incredibly insecure as to where she stands with them. A few months ago she knew she had a family and a woman who loved her. Now she can't say either of those things with any certainty.

"Of course you do," Emma says before pulling Regina in for a kiss. Regina feels a tear slip down a cheek as Emma kisses her. It feels different and not in a good way. It speaks of distance and a loss of something that should never have been let go of.

Only Regina notices. Emma kisses her and realises how much she missed Regina's kisses. At the same time part of her suddenly feels empty and saddened because she is the reason it's been so long. She doesn't notice the tear rolling down Regina's cheek or the way Regina pulls back from her as if she'd been hit.

She simply vows to not let there be such a long span of time before their next kiss.

How was she to know that it would be three long years before they kissed again?

* * *

(Present)

Granny smiles as the door to her room opens. They finally allowed her to leave the hospital and come home. If it were up to her she'd be back in the Diner whipping up pancakes and grilled cheeses to her heart's content. At the moment however due to Ruby and Regina she is on lockdown in her room ordered to rest.

She doesn't really know how to rest and she can't say she really enjoys it. She appreciates the fact that they worry about her but she wishes she were back at work. On the plus side she's managed to knit Lila a ton of jumpers. By the time her ordered six weeks of staying off her feet she'll probably have knitted Lila, Regina, Ruby and herself a whole new wardrobe.

The boredom drives her mad which is why she loves it when the door opens and she gets visitors. At least then she has someone to talk to besides yelling at the ridiculous behaviour of the people on her television. Occasionally she does call down to Ruby or Regina in the Diner, well maybe more than occasionally but she needs to make sure they're doing it right.

"Hi Granny," Regina says as she walks into the room. She left Lila with Ruby and the pair are currently engaging in a clay castle building contest. Granny frowns as the younger woman enters. She can see a slight slump in Regina's shoulder and red circles around her eyes indicating she's been crying.

She sighs before patting the space on the bed next to her. Regina smiles a little before sitting down on the bed. "You're supposed to be resting," Regina points out.

Granny rolls her eyes, "I rest all day child. Come here and tell me what's wrong."

Regina looks up before scooting closer to the woman who has become like a mother to her over the past few years. Granny looks out for her but doesn't put up with any nonsense either. It's something Regina needed and still needs today. Her own mother would never have offered a hug or a chance to talk. Granny on the other hand hears her out and offers her good advice. "How did you know something was wrong?" she asks.

"I can see it all over your face," Granny says. After three years she knows how to read Regina and what to say.

Regina sighs, "Emma kissed me."

"Oh," Granny replies quietly. If she could she would go round and smack some sense into Emma. She knows that Ruby and Regina would more than likely stop her but sometimes she really wants to. Anyone can see that Regina is nowhere near ready for Emma to make a move like that. In the three years she's gotten to know Regina in fact she has not seen her date or get close to dating to anyone. She hasn't even wanted to.

Granny can't blame her and she knows exactly why Regina is avoiding relationships. She wonders if Emma realises it. She doesn't seem to. She sighs, "How do you feel about it?"

Regina inhales sharply, "It felt right," she says sadly.

"And?"

"I didn't want it to," Regina replies, "I didn't want her to kiss me Granny. I'm not ready for her to do things like that. We were having a good day. I got to spend time with Henry. He and Lila got to play. Lila got to spend time with Emma. Things were exactly what I wished we could have had. It was great but it reminded me that we didn't have that because I left and she, well she did what she did. For the first time since I got back here Emma and I were together and it wasn't tense or horrible and then she ruined it. God why did she have to do that?!"

"She got swept up in a moment Regina, it does happen."

"But it can't!" Regina cries out in frustration, fresh tears pricking her eyes, "She devastated me Granny. She broke my heart and I still love her so much. I love her and it hurt for so long. I may never stop loving her but I cannot be with her not right now. She doesn't understand what she did to me Granny and I don't think she's dealing with what my leaving did to her either. It was a moment, a really beautiful moment and I understand she got swept up in it but she can't do it. Neither of us can because we're not ready."

She pauses for breath before continuing, "I just wasn't expecting it. I used to love kissing her. She would take my breath away and when she kissed me I knew how she felt. She kissed me today and I know she still loves me but that hurts Granny. It hurts because we could have been happy but instead we fell apart. I want to be happy Granny. I do but I don't know if that's with her. She acted impulsively by kissing me but whether she intended to or not it hurt me because it reminded me of what we could have had and what we don't have now. I can't kiss her because I don't want to get hurt again and I don't want to get swept up in a moment. A moment is not a happy ending. I want to be happy. I want us to be happy and that won't happen if we let ourselves be swept away."

Granny sighs again before pulling the crying woman in for a hug, "Don't be swept away Regina. I know you. You've got a smart head on your shoulders and when she kissed you, you knew not to stay in the moment but instead you pulled away. You kept yourself from making that mistake. You know what you need Regina and you need to put in the work and you need to talk to Emma."

At that Regina's breath hitches again, "What if she thinks it meant something more?"

Granny shakes her head, "She won't."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because Emma might do ridiculous things at times and some days I want to shake some sense into her but she knows you're not ready. It was a moment. A moment that reminded you both not to push yourselves and leap into the way you were. The kiss may have hurt you Regina but it gave you perspective and I think it will have given Emma the same. Use the kiss Regina to lay down some ground rules. You both know you need time and you need to be clear that moments cannot happen until you're ready for them."

"We have therapy tomorrow. I can talk to her then."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Why didn't you date while you were gone?"

Regina shakes her head, "I couldn't. I wanted to. I thought maybe if I did but it would help me move on but whenever I tried all I could think of was Emma. She was the last person I made love to. She was the last person I kissed, the last person I dated and the woman I love. I wanted to move on but Emma held me back, not just her but the past. It's why I need this Granny. I need to talk things through with Emma and try to work through our issues. Maybe then I'll be ready to start something. I hope so anyway."

* * *

(Storybrooke - January 2013)

"I missed you so much," Emma says as she and Regina tumble into their bedroom. Her five weeks in the Enchanted Forest were absolute hell. She did everything she could to get back to Regina and Henry. After the curse broke her main concern was keeping them both safe. Ultimately that meant protecting Regina from a wraith and falling through a portal.

She came back to find her family apart. Henry is now living with his grandfather and refuses to come back home which means Emma has to go back to the apartment too. She doesn't want to leave Regina but they don't want Henry to be apart from both his mothers any longer than he has to be. It took her weeks to get back here and she wants to spend time with her son.

She just hopes it doesn't last too long. She hopes that now she's here she'll be able to get Henry to talk to his Mom and they can start to patch things up. Regina may have been evil in her past but she isn't now and she was also Henry's Mom for ten years. To Emma that means something.

She'll think about the issues facing them tomorrow. Right now she just needs to remind herself that she made her way back to Regina and that they are together once again. She pulls her in for a sweet loving kiss. She needs Regina.

Regina leans into the kiss. She missed this. She missed Emma. Without her she didn't really know what to do. She just tried her best to keep up with her redemption and therapy. She tried to connect with Henry and failed. She knows they have a long way to go before he comes back. She also knows that sooner or later Emma will have to go back to the apartment and leave her once more.

Regina just hopes it won't be for too long. She missed Emma with every part of her soul. Most of her days were spent wondering where Emma was and praying that she was okay, that she was surviving in that world and making her way back to her and Henry.

She knows that Emma will have to leave her for Henry's sake. She doesn't want to think about that. She just wants to be with Emma. She wants to forget about the pain and the issues for now and lose herself in the moment. She wants to feel Emma against her skin. She wants to kiss Emma until their lips are swollen. She wants to make love to her until they simply collapse each other and wind up holding each other like they did in the early days of their relationship.

She just wants to forget for one moment. Forget about evil queens and curses. Disapproving parents and angry sons. Pain and redemption. Instead of those she wants to lose herself in a moment of love and bliss.

Emma kisses her harder the next time. It's a kiss born of love but sparked from passion. Both women know they should talk. Neither cares in this second. Instead they lose themselves in the kiss and soft touches of each other's fingertips. Fingers ghost across bodies. Kisses scatter over skin. Bodies race and heat up together. Lips meet as moans tumble free. I love yous are whispered in the night air as hands entwine.

The women forget about the issues and pain haunting them. They have their moment and let themselves believe they can be happy together. They believe in love and hope. They believe in its magic.

They believe in each other.

Neither realise the magnitude of that. They just languish in love. It's only a few months later that Regina will discover the strength of love and just how much it can create. It can bring happy endings in times of utter despair.

It can provide hope when things look darkest.

* * *

(Present)

Emma waits nervously outside Archie's building. Part of her is terrified that she messed up too badly and that Regina won't come. It wouldn't be the first time she screwed up and Regina left. She shakes her head to try and clear the thought. She can't help but be nervous though. She has hope that her fears will be unfounded and that Regina will turn up. She wishes she didn't think like this, that when she screws up her first thought isn't people leaving her, but she does because they always do.

She sighs knowing this is a problem. They're both still so screwed up. Emma still fears Regina leaving. Regina still fears Emma hurting her. That is exactly why they can't lose themselves in moments. They did that when she came back from the Enchanted Forest. They didn't talk about the problems racing towards them. Instead they fell into bed and loving kisses. They let themselves have their moments. Moments though don't build anything. Emma wants to build something with Regina. She wants them to repair the damage and be able to have something strong that can make them both happy. She doesn't want them to just fall apart again.

Emma smiles in relief upon seeing Regina.  _Thank god_  she thinks. Regina walks up to her but keeps her distance. "Hey. You came."

Regina nods, "We need to talk Emma."

"I know but before we head in can we talk about yesterday?"

"Inside," Regina says, "We should do it inside okay. We need to talk about it and we need Archie to help us move beyond it and explore our deeper issues. I don't want us to do what we did before Emma. Moments are great Emma but in the end they ruined us because we had nothing else."

"I know," Emma replies, "Let's go talk then."

They walk up the stairs in silence neither of them daring to break it until they reach the office. Both women appreciate having a third party there to stop things getting too heated and to facilitate honest discussion. Archie stops them from distracting themselves and instead lets them focus on what they want, need, to talk about. What helps them more is that he does it without judging either of them too harshly.

Archie greets them both warmly before they seat themselves on opposite ends of the couch. This time Pongo leaps up and curls up between the two women. Regina smiles before scratching the dog behind his ear. She has missed the Dalmatian. She pretended he annoyed her but he's proved a comfort to her during therapy in the past.

"So how have things been since our last session?" Archie asks.

"Emma kissed me," Regina says chewing her lip anxiously.

He looks up in surprise, "You kissed her?"

"I didn't mean to," Emma replies sheepishly.

"What do you mean?" he asks. "I mean how could you not mean to?"

Emma sighs, "We were at the park. We had spent the day together as a family. Henry got some time with Regina. He and I both got to spend time with Lila. We were watching the kids play and it felt right. I felt happy and like this was the family we could have or could have had had things not been screwed up so badly. I made a mistake and let myself get caught up in a moment. It shouldn't have happened."

"It shouldn't have but I'm sort of glad it did."

Emma looks at Regina in shock, "You are?"

Regina nods, "Yes. It gives us perspective Emma. It was a slip up and one we both needed. That kiss reminded me of our love but it also hurt."

"It did the same to me," Emma says.

Regina nods again, “What that hurt told me was that we can’t do that Emma. It reminded me that moments are nice while they last but they’re just that – moments. We need more Emma. Three years ago we stopped talking and just got swept away. We can’t do that again. You can’t kiss me like that.”

“I won’t,” Emma promises.

Regina stares at her doubtfully and Emma frowns before repeating, “I won’t. Okay I know it was a mistake. I know that we can’t kiss like that because neither one of us are ready. Hell I haven’t had a real relationship since you.”

“I haven’t had any kind of relationship since you,” Regina admits. “I haven’t been able to.”

“Okay,” Archie says, “I think you’re both on the same page about the kiss which is good. What happened after the kiss?”

“I ran,” Regina replies.

“Why?” he asks.

Regina sighs before admitting, “I got scared,” she says honestly, “I was worried that maybe Emma felt something more was going to happen and that we were just going to go down the same road again, and well last time that road ended with heartbreak. I freaked out that Emma wanted more.”

“I didn’t,” Emma says, “Well I suppose that’s not true. Here’s the thing I do want more with you but I know neither one of us is prepared for that. I’ve already said that I want a relationship with you but I know that we have so much to work through first. I know you’re trying to look at the positives of the kiss but I still want to apologise because I shouldn’t have done it. Unintentionally I pushed for something I shouldn’t and I’m sorry.”

Regina genuinely smiles at that. She can see that Emma is sincere in this apology and it pleases her to know that the blonde understands that something like yesterday really can’t happen anytime soon. “I accept your apology,” she says and Emma smiles before turning back to Archie.

He nods at the exchange, “Good. Now whilst it’s good you’re on the same page. I think we can all agree a big issue here is communication. Now Regina you ran and it’s understandable because you were scared but if the pair of you are going to be able to build something then you need to talk which means no more running.”

“I can try that,” Emma replies. “I’ve done more than enough running in my lifetime.”

“In more ways than you realise,” Regina says quietly.

Emma frowns, “What’s that supposed to mean?” 

_This chapter wound up going differently than I expected. Therapy will continue in the next chapter which will hopefully be up next week. Always happy to hear what you think and thanks for reading :)_


	11. Chapter Eleven

_Hi all. Apologies for the delay in updating. I have about 30ish prompts (drabbles and oneshots) queued and I've been trying to get through them all. Thank you for all the feedback for the last chapter. Apologies for any mistakes and I hope you like this chapter :)_

(Present cont.)

"It means Emma that you run all the time, even when you promised you had stopped running you still were. I ran but I knew I was running. I knew I was leaving you behind and I knew what I was running towards and away from but you, you don't seem to realise that running is not just physically moving away."

Emma frowns in confusion, "What are you talking about Regina? You clearly have something you want to say so just tell me."

Regina's expression shifts and she nearly glares at Emma before letting out the anger she's held in for so long, "It means that you never see what is right in front of you and it makes me furious. You could have been happy Emma and you threw it all away! We could have had a happy ending together Emma but for some reason that wasn't enough for you. You may not have moved to a new city but you still ran from me. You ran every time you let your mother try to set you up with Neal. How many times did she do it? Pretty much every day and you let her. It would have been so easy for you to turn around and tell her you were happy and that you had a girlfriend but you didn't. You told me not to be so sensitive about it and let it go on. That's just one example. Ever since the curse broke you pulled away from me. You go on and on about how you want to be happy Emma but why don't you let yourself?"

"I do. I want to be happy and I tried Regina. I wanted us to be together and I still believe we can have a happy ending together," Emma replies.

"For how long?" Regina questions, "You keep saying we were each other's happy ending but even while we were together you were looking for happy endings elsewhere. I know you know that. You were trying so hard to find a happy ending with your parents that you ran away from the one you had with me. Whether you realise it or not you made a choice and it wasn't me."

"I didn't want to make a choice!" Emma suddenly shouts, "Do you have any idea what it was like for me? Everyone wanted something. The town needed me to be a saviour. Henry wanted me to be his mother and he had this vision of some perfect hero that I had to live up to. Two people, one of whom I barely knew and the other who used to be my best friend suddenly wanted me to call them 'Mom' and 'Dad' and clearly had expectations of the kind of daughter I wanted to be. I went from being happy with you to suddenly having everyone need me. I never wanted any of that. I just wanted you and Henry and for us to be happy. Then the curse broke and I couldn't have that because apparently it wasn't enough for anyone. All I wanted Regina was just to be and no-one was letting me. Everyone needed me to be someone and here's the thing with all that pressure my life was spiralling out of control. By the time you left I barely even recognised myself. I didn't want to make a choice but without even meaning to I did and for that I'm sorry but I never meant to run."

Regina frowns before looking at Emma, "You may not have meant to but you still did. Emma you always told me that it was up to me to punch back and show people who I was. Do you really think I have no idea what it's like to be a title? Everyone expected things of you because you were the saviour but I was the evil queen and trust me people expect far more and far worse of you when all you are to them is an evil name. I took your advice Emma and chose not to sit back and take it. Instead I worked with Archie to be who I wanted to be. It was possible Emma, you just didn't see it. As for everyone expecting you to be someone all I ever wanted from you was for you to be you. I let you be you and from my perspective that wasn't enough."

"It was," Emma says before sighing guiltily, "I know I didn't make you feel like it was and I will probably kick myself for it for the rest of my life but you were the only person in my life who made me feel like I was enough."

At that Regina's frown shifts from angry to melancholic, "I'm glad I made you feel that way but Emma what you need to understand is that in my life you were the person making me feel like I wasn't enough."

Emma wishes she could argue against Regina's words but she knows they're true. Under all the pressure of trying to be enough for everyone else she pushed away the one person she wanted most and made her feel like she didn't matter. She knows there's no apology for that. She sighs again, this one filled with regret over how much pain she caused Regina. She meant what she said earlier, she is done running, she just didn't realise how much running she had done without even moving.

Emma's aware that she kept searching for happy endings even when she already had them but she had never truly considered it as running before. In her mind running was physically packing up and leaving the way Regina had done. She had never considered the fact that her actions were her way of emotionally running away. The thought makes her see her actions over the past three years with a new sense of clarity.

She gulps before looking to Regina, "I ran more ways than you realised too." She knows now is the time for confessions and she needs to tell Regina the truth about her search. She knows it will only be more upsetting to reveal this truth but if she truly wants to build something with Regina then she needs to be honest about everything.

* * *

(Storybrooke – February 2014)

Emma swirls the drink in her hand with a small sigh. The scotch burns as it slides down her throat but it helps her dull the ache of being back in Storybrooke. She dropped Henry off with Neal for the night. Ruby hasn't been returning her phone calls so she agreed to let him stay with his father. She thought being back in Storybrooke would help her get over Regina. She knows that Henry is already starting to search for his brunette mother and he wants her help.

Emma wants to help for his sake but at the moment when she thinks of Regina it feels like a stab to her aching heart. She just wants to forget about the brunette. For a few days they stayed in the mansion but neither of them could bear to be in there for long. The house was filled with memories of Regina and being there was an overwhelming reminder of what they had lost.

The apartment is no good either and Emma knows that sooner or later she will have to find a house for her and Henry. The problem is that every time she thinks of buying a home all she can think of is Regina and the fact that her home won't have the brunette in it. Each time she thinks that she feels a little guiltier.

Which is why she's here in a bar in the next town over. Here she isn't a woman who screwed up her happy ending and who pushed her home away. Here she can just forget and be Emma. She can be whatever she wants and she can forget for just one night.

It's running.

This time she knows it. She should be out there trying to find Regina. She should be looking through the reports on her desk. There's so much she should be doing but she isn't. Every day she goes into her office and she sees those papers and she can't do it. She can't bring herself to sit down and go through them all because just seeing the stack of paperwork reminds her of the herculean task in front of her. It reminds her that Regina is well and truly lost to her.

Part of her knows that every day she avoids that paperwork is another wasted day. It's another day of running away rather than searching. Each day is a day further away from Regina and yet she can't bring herself to admit that to herself. Looking for Regina means that she really has lost her. She knows it's a foolish delusion and that avoiding her search really does not do her any good at all. All it does is send her further from what she needs first.

In later months she'll regret the weeks spent wasted.

Right now she won't admit it to herself what she's doing. She doesn't want to face the fact that she might not even be able to find Regina. Starting the search means admitting to herself that she pushed away her happy ending to please other people. It means admitting that she might not be able to get it back again.

She knows that all she's doing right now is pursuing denial but she cannot bring herself to face the truth of her situation so instead she pretends. She runs into the arms of strange women if only for a night so as to pretend she can forget.

That night the woman who she picks up is too close to home. She wakes up in the motel room to see dark chestnut curls and for a moment her breath catches in her chest. Emma can't help but think of the curls she used to run her fingers through. This woman's hair though is just a little too light, her skin the wrong shade of olive and when she turns to look at Emma her eyes don't have the same beautiful expressiveness that the caramel she desires most does.

It's seeing this woman whose name she can barely bring to the forefront of her memory that startles her. She's been trying to forget yet all she can think of when she wakes the next day is how these women aren't what she wants. They aren't Regina. No-one else is nor ever will be. It's in that tiny motel room that Emma realises she can't replace what she had. Pretending she can forget is a fool's game and she can see that now. All it does is remind her of what she truly wants.

Emma rushes off an apology to the now slightly scared woman next to her before she hurries to her car. She can't take one more morning of waking up to someone who is not Regina. It's not fair to these women nor herself. All she's been doing by running off and sleeping around is setting herself up to fail.

She only hopes that her acts of escape haven't cost her too much time.

She dreads that they have.

* * *

(Present)

Regina leans back into the chair trying to process what Emma's just told her. She never expected Emma to stay celibate while she was gone. It's the method of escape Emma chose that surprises her. Given the way her mother had been trying to force it at the time she left Regina dreaded turning up here in Storybrooke and finding Emma ensconced in a relationship with Neal. When that turned out not to be the case she was curious as to whether or not Emma had found anyone. She wasn't sure it was even her place to ask.

It still hurts to learn that Emma chose to try and forget her. In Regina's mind Emma was unforgettable, truly irreplaceable. She hadn't even tried to pretend she could forget because she knew it was an impossible feat.

She stays in silence for a few more moments unsure of how to respond. She didn't think a therapy session about a kiss would reveal this. On one hand she wants to appreciate Emma for being honest about the fact that she was running away and her methods of doing so. On the other her heart aches at the thought of Emma with all those other women, of her just jumping into bed with others so soon after her return from the Enchanted Forest.

Part of her knows Emma was trying to get over her but she can't help but feel a myriad of emotions. Sadness over the fact that Emma chose not to find her but to try and forget her. Anger at the fact that Emma was able to have sex with all those women when she couldn't even kiss someone without thinking of Emma.  _Maybe she just meant more to me than I did to her_ Regina thinks with a frown.

Finally she settles on the thought that upsets and worries her the most, "You wanted to forget me?"

Emma sighs heavily before turning to Regina. She knew this would hurt but seeing Regina's eyes staring back at her hammers in just how badly it does. She can see Regina is trying to remain impassive but as always her eyes give her away. Those caramel orbs burn with an intense sadness at the very thought that Emma would want to forget her.

_Even with the truth all I do is hurt her_  she thinks despondently. She knew it would but she had to tell Regina. She couldn't let her believe that she had started to search straight away because she hadn't. It would be unfair to Regina to let her believe that. She may not have given Regina all she should have done when they were together but at the very least now she can give her her honesty. She doesn't want any new relationship they may form to be built on half-truths and lies of omission. They need trust.

She chews her lip before taking a deep breath and looking back up into Regina's eyes, "I thought I could."

"But you wanted to," Regina says tersely, "You keep saying that you love me, that you loved me and thought I was your happy ending but you wanted to forget me?"

Emma nods, "Yes because it hurt," she replies, "I know you're probably wondering why I'm telling you this of all things. I hate upsetting you but after all this time you deserve the truth. The truth is that one of my greatest regrets is not just letting you go but pretending I could forget you. It's not that I wanted to forget you, it's that I wanted to forget I had lost you. Beginning the search meant facing what I had done and well at the time"

"You were still running," Regina finishes with a sad tone that is veiled with barely concealed anger. "How long did you run for Emma? How long before you bothered to try and look for me?"

Emma looks down guiltily, "Nine months. Six months in the Enchanted Forest. Three here. During the first month you were gone I looked around Storybrooke but couldn't find you. I didn't really give it all I could though. I was still trying to be everything everyone needed and I neglected the part of my life I should have been devoted to. I was a fool Regina. It took me two months to realise that pretending did nothing but pull me further away from what I needed most."

"Which was?"

"To see that I had lost you. I didn't want to admit it but that last girl made me realise my reality."

"Fantastic," Regina says bitterly, "I suppose there are benefits to sleeping around then."

Emma bites down on the inside of her cheek, "Not really. It was an easy escape nothing more. It was like putting a band-aid on a wound that needs stitches. It covers it up but does nothing to actually help you. I was an idiot Regina. I was running Regina and I know you thought you knew all the ways I had but you didn't."

"Anymore I should know about?" Regina asks folding her arms tight against her chest, a physical motion to shield her aching heart.

Emma shakes her head, "No."

"Was it easy?" Regina asks curiously.

"What?" Emma asks, "Pretending? Not at all."

"No sleeping with them like that. Being intimate. Kissing them. Touching them. Was it easy?" Regina clarifies.

Emma shakes her head once more, "No. Every kiss, every touch was a reminder of who those women weren't. I pushed myself to do it because I thought maybe I could erase my memories of you by…palate cleansing for lack of a better phrase. I was wrong because it did the opposite. All it did was make me realise how much I couldn't forget you."

Archie, who has chosen to stay silent for most of the frank and honest exchange knowing they need this revelation in order to truly get things out in the open, opts for now to speak, "What about you Regina? Did you ever try to move on?"

(Boston – August 2015)

Regina frowns as she looks at herself in the mirror. She doesn't know why she even agreed to this. One of the girls at her work asked to set her up on her date knowing she was single and in a moment of fantasy she agreed thinking that perhaps it would be a step towards moving on from Emma. As if she could.

"What do you think Boo Bear?" Regina asks picking up the twenty-two month old infant. Lila giggles and coos at her reflection before looking at her mother's new turquoise strapless dress. "Pwetty Mama," she says pointing at the dress.

"You think so?" Regina asks. It's been about two and a half years since her last date and she can't help but feel nervous. What if she says or does the wrong thing? What are the right and wrong things to do? She has no idea what to expect.

All her memories of dates are Emma and she's trying her best not to think of them tonight. She's certain that replaying those images is the exact opposite of trying to move on. Unfortunately Emma is the only person who ever took her on dates and so her only memories and previous expectations are built around Emma.

_Stop it_  she commands herself. Tonight is about trying to make new memories. Boston was all about a fresh start and creating a new happy life for herself and Lila, yet her life is still one mired in the past. She suspects it may always be. After all she won't go back to Storybrooke and confront her past and she knows that's preventing her from fully moving on from it.

She's not sure she can handle going back there yet. She'd rather avoid it and try to move on in other ways. This dream of pretending she can in fact move on and start a new romantic relationship is what resulted in her saying 'yes' when a waitress at the café proposed the idea of a set-up.

_I must be mad to do this_  Regina thinks as she fidgets with her dress and plays with her hair. She knows she's still an attractive woman but can't help but worry about whether or not this date will like her. She wonders if it's silly to even consider such a thing when she's not even sure if she wants a romantic entanglement right now.

The doorbell rings and she freezes. Whether or not she answers the door means either an active attempt to move forward and let more people into her life or continuing to hide herself away to avoid more heartbreak.

"Are you going to answer the door?" Ruby asks popping her head into the bedroom to check Regina's decent before walking in and scooping Lila into her arms. When Regina agreed to this set-up she called the younger woman to babysit and Ruby happily complied. It's been two years since Regina left Storybrooke and it's about time she at least tried to move on with someone new. She hopes this date goes well for her friend. She deserves love and happiness and whilst she has that with Lila, Ruby wants her friend to have more. After Emma, she hopes Regina can find love somewhere.

Regina chews her lip before slowly nodding, "This is it," she says, "A date."

"It's just a date Regina," Ruby says trying to calm the other woman, "Just dinner and conversation. Given that you've fought ogres and armies I think you can manage drinks."

Regina chuckles lightly, "Well I hope so."

"You never know until you try," Ruby encourages.

Regina nods. She hesitates before asking, "Does she ever date?"

Ruby frowns, "Don't think about Emma. Tonight is about trying to find a connection with someone else. For one night you're going to go out and drink and talk and try and have fun. You're not going to think or talk about Emma. Tonight is not about her. It's about you. Now go. Have fun."

The woman is perfectly nice. She's beautiful and funny and well dressed. She's intelligent and Regina finds the conversation engaging and delightful. Yet the whole night she feels like either bursting into tears or simply fleeing the restaurant. As wonderful as this woman is the whole night all Regina can think is that she isn't the woman Regina wants.

Her problem is that even though it's been two years since she last saw Emma, she can't help but think of her. When she thinks of dates and moments like this one it's the Emma of their past that she wants with her. Whilst some of her painful memories are centred around Emma and Henry, so are her happiest ones.

Although she knows full well that a date now between her and Emma would never work she can't help but fantasize about one day in the future being with Emma the way she was again. She quickly shakes her head to remove the thought. She has to remind herself that with those happy memories there was also the heartache of the neglect and what happened when her mother came to town.

The woman moves to kiss her goodnight and she panics. Her last kiss was of Emma and in the moment that she sees her date's lips coming she realises she doesn't want that to change. She pushes the woman away with a frantic apology before hailing a taxi and heading home.

Part of Regina wants to move on, to let someone else in but right now a bigger part of her is clinging to her past. Her heart and memories are still attached to Emma.

(Present)

“I went on just that one date,” Regina says as she recalls her lone disastrous attempt at a date. “I thought I wanted to move on but I just knew I couldn’t yet. I knew straightaway I couldn’t do it. Every memory of a date I had was tied to you. At the time I thought maybe enough time had passed that I could go and do that with someone and be okay,” she sighs, “But I wasn’t. I was fine until she tried to kiss me and all I could think about was you.”

Emma nods in understanding. “I’m sorry,” she says.

“You are?” Regina asks in confusion. She doesn’t know what she was expecting in response but an apology wasn’t it.

“I am,” Emma replies, “You deserve to be happy and because of me you weren’t so I’m sorry.”

Regina sighs, “It wasn’t your fault I couldn’t move on Emma. Yes our relationship broke down and you contributed heavily to that but my inability to move on I brought on myself. I left Emma because I had to. I knew I couldn’t be happy with you but by leaving the way I did I stopped us both from having any closure. It meant I couldn’t forget you. I don’t think I ever really wanted to. As bad as the end of our relationship was Emma, you still gave me some of the happiest memories of my life.”

Emma smiles sadly, “You gave me a lot of my best memories, you and Henry. I know you say you don’t want to date me now and you’re not ready for a relationship but I have to ask do you want to in the future? After we’ve worked through everything I mean and got to a good place?”

Regina chews her lip as she deliberates on her response, “I wish I could give you a definitive yes or no Emma but I can’t. At the moment we still have things we need to talk about. We still haven’t discussed what led to our relationship falling apart in the first place.”

“We haven’t?” Emma asks, “I thought it was all about our loss of communication and my pulling away.”

“It was but we haven’t really talked about what really triggered all of that.”

“The curse breaking,” Emma says but Regina shakes her head, “No it wasn’t. Think about it Emma. Think about how hard you fought to get back to Henry and I. Think about how we were when you got back. It wasn’t the curse breaking that started everything off Emma.”

Archie frowns. He too had assumed that it was the breaking of the curse that had started everything off. He wishes they could delve into it now but time has run away from them, “Alright. Let’s stop here for today. Your next session is in two days time and I would suggest you both reflect on what happened after the curse broke. It’s clear that you both still feel the need for closure on your original split but I think to do so you both need to pinpoint exactly when your relationship took its turn for the worst. You both need to be on the same page about it or at the very least tell each other when you felt things went wrong.”

_There will be more Henry and Lila in the next chapter. I am going camping this weekend but I shall try and update soon. Thanks for reading :)_


	12. Chapter Twelve

_Hi all. Apologies for the delay but I'm currently swamped by prompts and trying to work my way through them. Thank you for all the feedback to the last chapter and I hope you enjoy this chapter :)_

(Storybrooke – November 2012)

"You know don't you?"

Regina raises her head at the question that pierces her otherwise quiet study. She looks up to see Emma standing in the doorway staring at her. She knows what Emma's talking about. She's speaking about the curse. After all those months of pushing it away Regina confessed everything. It took taking Emma down to the vault however for the blonde to finally believe.

At first Regina thought that the confession of her past would be the end of them. She expected Emma to run from her and take Henry too. She dreaded that she had fallen in love only to lose it once more when Emma found out just how dark her heart had become.

Instead she found herself pleasantly surprised. After a few minutes of simply staring at the various objects stored in the vault Emma grabbed Regina's hand and began to lead her back upstairs. For a moment Regina feared the worst and that Emma would toss her into a jail cell or leave her in the loneliness that had consumed her for so much of her past. The worst did not come. Emma brought her up into the light of the dawning day and told her she would never leave. She told her she saw that the evil queen was past, not present and never future. Since that morning Regina has allowed herself to hope and believe that she can take charge of her destiny. With Emma by her side she feels whole and happy.

Yet she is still afraid.

She is afraid because she knows when she tells Emma her most heavily guarded secret she could still lose everything regardless of Emma's promises to never leave her. Regina is doing her best to have hope and faith but her son still hates her and when the curse breaks he won't be the only one. She loves Emma and losing her is her greatest fear of all.

Regina also understands that she must break the curse. She unleashed it when she was lonely and consumed by misery. Now she is happy and she believes in the goodness and light in her heart and she knows she can't let everyone else languish in their cursed lives. If she can have a happy ending then she feels everyone else should have the chance.

Emma too knows they must break the curse. She only wishes she knew how but she has no idea. Henry has been filling her head with ideas of true love's kiss and lately Emma has been considering it. She knows that it means admitting how she truly feels about Regina and taking the leap into an uncertain future.

The only other option is keeping this life they have. Right now Emma is happy. She has her son and a woman she loves even if Regina doesn't know it yet. They have a home and a life and it's all Emma has ever truly wanted. She knows she will fight to keep it when the curse breaks but she can also tell from reading the book that there will be many who will be out to destroy them including her own parents.

So she has a choice. Tell Regina she loves her and risk everything or keep it secret and continue life as it is. She knows which choice she has to make. Every day she's with Regina the secret burns in her chest and she longs to let it out and finally let Regina know the truth. She knows she has to break the curse because their life is good and happy but not letting each other know they love each other is a cruel punishment for them both to bear. It's a price Emma does not want to pay.

Regina deserves to know that she is loved and to know that even if it all goes to hell she will always be loved. She can also tell from the way Regina looks at her that Regina knows it too. The brunette exhales a heavy sigh at Emma's question and Emma can see a tear rolling down a tan cheek. She walks over wiping it away before taking Regina's hands and squeezing them gently.

"Listen to me Regina. We have to do this. I know it. You know it. I know like me you've been putting this off because you're scared of what the future will bring. I'm scared too and there's so much I want to be able to promise you but that I don't know if I can because I don't know what will come next. I know I don't want to break any promise I make you so I'm only going to make you this one, Regina I promise you that no matter what comes we will face it together because I love you and I will love you forever."

Regina smiles back at her as her heart swells with the confession and her eyes glisten with tears. She looks down and sees Emma with a matching watery smile. "I have fought for so long with myself as to whether or not I should tell you," Regina brings, "I didn't want to lose what we have but I've realised that it's unfair to you for you not to know how cherished and loved you are. Emma you are an incredible and wonderful person and you reminded me of who I want to be. You came into my heart and turned the lights back on when it looked like the darkness was going to return. I dreaded that you would be the one to kill me but instead you came here and saved me. Emma no matter what happens, no matter what they do to me know that I love you with all my heart and soul and that I will always love you."

"I know," Emma replies before she leans up so their faces are closer. Regina's breath hitches nervously as Emma's lips hover above hers, "Ready?" Emma asks. Regina nods closing her eyes as Emma's lips finally meet her own. The kiss overwhelms them both. They've kissed before but it's not been like this. This kiss is different and they both know it. This kiss comes from the heart and is fuelled by the confession they've suppressed for too long. The two women embrace as they kiss forgetting about broken curses and consequences and instead letting themselves find each other in a moment of pure love and joy.

They hold tight to each other through fear of what will come next.

(Present)

Emma wakes early the next morning. She spent the night tossing and turning as she replayed images of her life once the curse broke. She remembers the terror they both felt that they could lose each other just by breaking it. She sighs sadly upon realising that they lost each other anyway. It just wasn't because of the curse. Emma had told herself it had been the curse. The curse after all was an easy and big moment for her to pinpoint. Everything after that was a rush and it's hard to pick out the exact moment when things began to fall apart.

She sighs again wishing she could tell what moment it was that drove them apart. She knows she can't ask anyone else because this is not their relationship to fix. She won't ask Henry because he's working on his own relationship with Regina and Lila and she can't ask him to fix hers too. This is up to Emma to figure out and she will. She needs to. She needs to understand how things could fall apart so swiftly and without her even realising what she was losing.

As Henry comes down the stairs for breakfast she remembers her joy at being reunited with him and Regina after her unexpected trip to the Enchanted Forest, a land she vowed never to return to but did so anyway. "What are you thinking about?" Henry asks sleepily as he places a bowl of cereal in front of him.

"Just our life back then," Emma replies.

"Anything in particular?" he asks as he shoves a huge spoonful of cereal into his mouth. Emma can't help but chuckle at his way of eating. "Easy kid, you don't have to eat it all in one go."

He rolls his eyes before finishing his mouthful, "They're Cheerios. You eat as many as you can in one go Ma. You taught me that and you're deflecting. What are you thinking about?"

"You are way too smart kid," Emma says.

"Some would say genius."

"Some or you?"

"Definitely some so what are you thinking about?"

Emma sighs again. She's done a lot of that since returning home from therapy. "I've been thinking about the time after the curse broke. Regina said that it wasn't the curse breaking that triggered us growing apart. I just can't figure out what it was."

Henry blinks in surprise, "You can't? Have you thought about everything that happened?" he asks hoping to prompt her. He thinks he knows what it was between his mothers. He knows that the trigger between him and Regina occurred long before the breaking of the curse. He watches as Emma thinks again and hopes she'll figure it out soon. She has to. He believes so anyway. "Just think about everything," he says, "I've got to go to Mom's. I said I'd hang out with her and Lila today. You gonna be okay?"

She nods, "I'll be fine Henry. It's my job to look after you not the other way around."

"I know but I'm your kid and I'm still allowed to worry. I guess with everything going on I don't like the thought of you sitting here alone dwelling in the past all day," he replies with a concerned shrug.

"I won't," she assures him, "I've got to head into work."

"Is Grandma still there?"

Emma nods, "Yes she is. I'm releasing her into your grandfather's custody this afternoon."

"Is that a good idea? What if she goes after Lila or Mom again?"

"She won't. Neither I nor my Dad will let that happen. Trust me Henry. I won't let anything hurt them again."

"I know Ma," he says, "And I think in some way Mom does too but she needs you to realise what caused everything to go wrong, then you'll understand why it went as wrong as it did."

"It will?"

Henry nods, "It will. Just figure it out Ma. I know you can."

* * *

Regina looks up surprised when there's a knock on the apartment door. Ruby went out for her shift at the Diner an hour ago and it's too early for Henry.  _Maybe he came early_  she thinks before looking to her daughter who is happily batting her stuffed animals around on her play mat. She scoots over on her knees before dropping a kiss on Lila's head. "I'll be back in a second boo bear. Let Mommy go see who's at the door."

"Door," Lila replies, "Knock knock Mommy," she singsongs.

Regina laughs at her daughter's response before getting up and moving to the door. She pulls it open, her face morphing into shock when she sees Charming of all people. "Are you here to take Lila like your wife?" she asks accusingly. She can't help but be suspicious. The last time she saw Snow before she left town all those years ago the woman basically told her the only happiness for Emma and Henry was without her. The first time she saw her upon her return was when she tried to steal Lila. As long as she's known Charming he has followed in his wife's footsteps using his bravery and action to back up her strong words and plans.

Then again she remembers how horrified he looked in the Diner that day, how ashamed and genuinely apologetic he seemed regarding Snow's actions. She remembers how instead of joining his wife in leading the fight against her he argued for her. She looks to him and sees only guilt.

"No," he replies, "Not at all. I came to apologise."

At that she leans back against her doorframe holding onto it out of sheer surprise, "Apologise?"

"Yes," he says, "I know it isn't worth much least of all coming from me but I can see that we, I should have supported you and Emma more. You made Emma happy in a way that I have never seen her happy since. The only time I saw my daughter truly and utterly blissfully happy Regina was when you two broke the curse and straight after she came back from the Enchanted Forest. After that with your mother and everything else I haven't seen her that happy again Regina. I have regrets Regina. One of which will always be putting her through that wardrobe and missing her childhood. Another was guilt-tripping her and Henry into coming to the Enchanted Forest to try and make them have the happy ending we wanted for them, that wasn't fair of us. The other is not just accepting my daughter's happiness with you. Snow fought it every step of the way and I fought with her because I was too stubborn to see you had changed but Emma is right. You're different. Henry is a great kid and I could tell just from that moment in the Diner how much you love Lila. You're not the evil queen anymore just as I'm not really the same Prince Charming I used to be. We're all different people now and I should have tried to see that."

"For what it's worth I never saw how you changed. All I saw was you and Snow acting in your best interests and not your child's."

He nods guiltily, "I know. That is my regret Regina. We all have them to bear and I'm sure you know that. You're back in town now Regina and I know you and Emma are trying to work through the past to try and form some kind of future and I felt I owed you both an apology for my part in that past and my best wishes for you two to find happiness in the future."

Regina smiles sadly, "We're a long way from that Charming but thank you."

"I know you are but you're working on it which means neither of have you have given up yet."

"I wanted to," Regina admits, "I really did but I love her. You never believed it before but believe it now. I love her and whilst I cannot be with her now because we're just not ready I still have hope for that day in the future when we'll be both be ready."

"That's good."

They stand in silence for a few more moments before Regina hears her daughter squeaking merrily in the background. She had sworn to herself before coming to town that she would keep Lila from Snow and Charming if she good. That was mainly because she feared them taking her. Snow proved that fear correct.

Charming, however, took her by surprise. She never expected an apology or an awareness of his actions. She nods to herself before looking at him, "Do you want to meet your granddaughter?"

(Storybrooke – February 2013)

It's incredible how fast things can go wrong. It can take just one moment, a single heartbeat where everything changes. The world spins slowly and then that next day your universe is thrown off kilter. It takes just one moment. For Regina Mills it was one day. One day. In one day her world flipped upside down and it didn't change back. It might have done had it not been for one person.

One day Regina and Emma walked into that Diner for a welcome party and they were happy. No-one else welcomed the former queen's presence but Emma did and for Regina that was all that mattered. Of course Emma mingled with others from time to time leaving Regina stranded. Henry came over for moments, more than she'd had in several months. She lapped up those minutes spent with her son not knowing when they might come again. After being starved of his love and presence for so long she knows now to cherish all the time she gets just in case.

Aside from that she remained alone. She knew it would be this way but she didn't come to socialise or pretend that she would be welcomed. She came because Emma needed her here and because they were happy. After the trip to the Enchanted Forest they had spent far too long apart and just want to keep each other close. They just want to be with each other right now. They have no idea how long it will last or what might come along next. All they know is they want to enjoy the now they have together.

Emma smiles as she walks across the Diner before sliding in next to Regina. "Having fun?" Emma asks with a playful grin. Regina chuckles, "Oh wonderful dear."

Emma as usual can see through the façade and kisses Regina's cheek, "I'm sorry I asked you to come. I mean I want you here and all but I guess I'm sorry because everyone else is ignoring you."

"I can't blame them dear. None of them really know nor trust me."

"Well they should try because you Regina Mills are pretty damn amazing," Emma replies wrapping an arm around her girlfriend's waist. Regina smiles at the compliment before leaning in to Emma's embrace, "You're pretty amazing yourself Emma Swan."

"I know," Emma chuckles before pulling Regina in for a loving kiss, "But seriously I love you. I didn't think about how everyone else would be. I just really missed you and didn't want to leave you behind not after I wound up trapped in that godawful forest without you."

"I know Emma," Regina says, "And trust me I'd much rather be here with you. I don't care that they're all ignoring me. I knew that they would. I care that you're here because that's all I wanted. I spent so many nights wondering if you were going to make it back, in my mother was going to hurt you."

At the tears that prickle in Regina's eyes Emma runs her finger over Regina's cheek, "She didn't," she says reassuringly, "I made it back and now we're together and we're going to be okay. We broke the curse and you ended up with a wraith on your tail and in saving you I wound up falling through a portal. I think that's enough peril for a couple of years don't you think? I think it's happy ending time now."

Regina smiles, "I'd like that."

(Present)

Henry walks into his mother's apartment and he almost gasps in surprise at what he sees. He finds his mother, his grandfather and Lila sitting on the carpet playing peekaboo. "Uh hey guys," he says waving his hands.

"Henwy," Lila points to him before waving. She's still a little shyly but Henry hopes she's warming up to him. He'd like the opportunity to be her big brother. "Hey Lila," Henry replies before walking over to the group. "Hi Mom, grandpa what are you doing here?"

"Meeting Lila," he says as the little girl pretends to hide from him. He chuckles before playing along. It's not hard to see Emma in the toddler. It's all in her eyes. Watching Lila play he can tell she's had a loving and caring childhood. She's such a happy child and though shy he can see that she's trying to warm up to him. It'll take time but he'll take what he can get. He knows it took a lot for Regina to offer him this and lord knows he probably didn't deserve it but she gave him the opportunity anyway and he won't waste it.

Henry nods sitting down with them, "She's pretty cool right?"

"That she is," Charming says with a smile as the girl screams "Boo!" before looking at Henry and suddenly turning to her mother with a serious look, "Where my paintings?"

Regina smiles, "On the table Lila bear."

"No. Where my Henwy drawing?" she asks.

"Her what?" Henry asks in confusion.

Regina grins at him, "I'll get it." She disappears in to the kitchen before returning with a piece of paper which she slips into Lila's waiting hand. Lila bounces excitedly before she turns, sees Henry, and shyly burrows into her mother's knee. Regina picks her up before walking over to her son. She sits down beside him, "Go on Lila," she says gently and the little girl pushes the paper into his hand. He takes it to see a little pink splodge with a purple splodge under it (a dress he assumes) underneath which Regina has written Lila and then a bigger splodge, a red splodge (his shirt) and a blue splodge for his jeans. Underneath is his name. He smiles holding the picture with pride before looking at his little sister. "Is this you and me?" he asks.

She nods proudly before smiling up at him. He can't help but smile back. He may have missed a lot of her life and is only just getting to be a brother now but the picture means a lot. It means Lila at least sees him as picture worthy and given how things are right now he'll take that as a big step. He leans forward to hug Lila and his smile grows wider when the little girl leaps off Regina's lap and into his own.

Regina feels happy tears spring into her eyes as she smiles at the motion. She knows what that means. It means her daughter is starting to trust Henry and that in spite of Regina separating them they are able to form a connection.

"I'm glad you get a chance to be her big brother now," she says quietly.

He smiles, "Me too," he pauses before looking at his mom, "I was talking to Ma earlier. She says she was trying to figure out what started your relationship falling apart."

Regina nods, "I know. Archie said we both had to so we could be on the same page. Does she know yet?"

He shrugs, "I don't know yet. She hadn't when I left but I think she will by the end of the day. She just needs to remember the right moment."

(Across town)

Emma walks into the station deep in thought. Her whole drive over she's been trying to puzzle it out. She knows it happened quickly. One day they were happy. Then in an instant it fell apart.  _That's all it takes_  Emma thinks sadly. It can just take one moment. Emma knows as well that for them that moment snowballed and took their relationship down with it. She sets down her coffee and bearclaw before facing the cell that contains her mother.

"Good morning," she says as Snow frowns at her. Emma ignores it, "I know you don't agree with putting you in here."

"Well it's not the first arrest we disagreed on," Snow says bitterly and Emma freezes. With those words she remembers. She remembers the day she found Archie's dead body and how her parents, magic and weak evidence swayed her. She remembers the moment everything fell apart for them.

What's worst of all is she remembers the thing she has tried most of all to forget about that day. She remembers Regina's face when the brunette realised that the one person she trusted and thought would believe her suddenly stopped.

(Storybrooke – Mills Family Crypt – February 2013)

Her mother is gone. Cora underestimated her strength. She always did and this time it was her undoing. This time it meant Regina could use her anger, sadness and disappointment and use it to send her mother far away where she could never hurt again. She looks at the wall where the portal closed only moments ago. She’s free of her mother. She should be happy but all she feels is heartbroken.

Being free of her mother means very little right now. Her mother came to town and managed to destroy everything. She framed her for Archie’s murder. Regina knew that most people would be convinced. She knew that Henry and the Charmings and all the others would see the death and the fingers would point straight at her.

What she had thought however is that Emma would believe in her. Before the curse broke Emma promised her they would face it all together and that she would always love her. Emma swore she would always believe in her and Regina believed her. When it was revealed that Cora had used her visage her heart dropped. She knew there and then that it would be hard to prove her innocence but that one day it would come to light.

What she thought she knew was that Emma would be by her side. She believed in Emma and thought that Emma would fight for her. At first she did. In that interrogation room Emma fought for her and sided with. She looked into cerulean eyes and she felt safe. She felt hopeful and she knew they could beat this claim and her mother so long as they had each other. Emma had seen she was telling the truth.

She doesn’t know what changed between then and the moment Emma came to her house. Flanked by her parents and the blue fairy Emma looked at her differently. She claimed she had seen Regina do it and Regina could not believe it. Magic had shown it to her. Regina knows how Emma believes in what she sees, how she needs actions as well as words, but she always thought Emma would give her a chance.

_Why not use the dreamcatcher on me?_ Regina had thought. What infuriates her is that Emma is not even that skilled in magic and yet she believes it over her.

Regina sits with her back against the cold stone wall of her vault. There’s a hidden room in the back but she hasn’t gone back in yet. She can’t seem to move herself from staring at where that portal used to be. It doesn’t matter anyway. No-one has come to find her. She doubts anyone will.

Before she would have thought Emma would but now she’s not so sure. She’s not sure of anything anymore. Emma promised her so much. She promised to be with her always. She promised they’d face it all together. She promised she’d always believe and love her.

But when all is said and done Regina is here alone. Her heart fractures over Emma lack of faith in her. Emma said she’d always trust her but she lied. She didn’t. She picked magic over her. She picked her parents. She broke Regina’s heart and yet Regina loves her anyway. Regina rests her head on her knees feeling her tears begin to fall. She loves Emma so much and she still has hope and that’s what upsets her so much because if Emma doesn’t trust her then what is she hoping for? 

_Always happy to hear what you think, thank you for reading :)_


	13. Chapter Thirteen

_Hi again. My apologies for the delay in updating. I may have started another small multi-chapter and distracted myself. I shall try to update faster as time moves on but I cannot guarantee it. Thank you for the response to the last chapter. Apologies for any mistakes. Hope you enjoy this chapter :)_

(Storybrooke – March 2013)

The truth emerges and Regina comes out of hiding. Her mother is gone now. She has been for two weeks but it's taken Regina those two weeks to come out of hiding. She thought that once Archie had found Emma or the two idiots that Emma would come find her, or at least try. Emma knows about the vault. Regina after all told her everything including where she would go in an emergency.

Emma never came.

Over those two weeks Regina has felt her heart ache more and more. The first blow to her heart was Emma's loss of faith in her. It still stings and she almost can't believe it happened. They were about to have a happy ending until her mother came along and managed to push them apart. Regina thought that their love would withstand that though. She still believes. She believes that it isn't too late and that if she can find Emma and work together with her now then they can work through this. With Emma she can salvage their relationship and they can get back on track.

With each day that Emma did not come for her that hope began to wane. She still wants to believe but god it's so damn hard. Two weeks. It's been two weeks since Cora died. Three since she went into hiding. That's three whole weeks without seeing her true love or son and she misses them. Right now all she wants it to see them and work on getting her family back together.

She walks into the mansion only to find it empty.

At that her internal alarm bells ring.  _Did something happen to them?_  Fear coils in her stomach as she walks through the mansion only to find each room vacant. Henry's room is completely void of his belongings and Regina's heart drops. The loss of his things does not mean he is hurt or worse, but that he has chosen to leave her. If he's gone Regina knows Emma will go with her and with that the ache in her heart grows.

_They're gone_  she thinks as she walks into the bedroom she shares with Emma to see a distinct lack of red jackets, tank tops and the photo frames that belong to her girlfriend. She sits on the bed clutching Emma's pillow to her chest as she lets her tears fall.

_Maybe she didn't love me_. She can't help but let the doubts creep in. She knows Snow has been trying to convince Emma and Henry they'd be better off. When she needed Emma's faith most Emma wasn't there. Instead of being a united front they were torn asunder through a loss of trust. Now, when she and Emma need to fight for each other most, Emma has just disappeared from the home they once shared.

_If she's not even here how can we fight for each other?_ The question rings through her head and more follow. She wonders what there is to fight for if Emma doesn't believe in her. She wonders if Emma even wants to fight for her. The blonde was after all so quick to lose to her faith and turn on her and it frightens Regina. It terrifies her because she knows it means Emma is running away from her, from them, from even the possibility of their happy ending.

Regina knows what she's fighting for and the reason why she still wants to seek out Emma after all this. Love. Her heart might be aching but she still loves Emma with everything she has. She hopes Emma remembers that. That hope is what she clings to after she finds out Emma and Henry left for New York. It's what she clings to until it too falls away from her.

(Present)

Emma walks over to the cell with gritted teeth. She's in no mood for further confrontation with her mother especially not now she's realised the turning point in her relationship with Regina. She had chalked it up to the curse breaking. It was a big moment and an easy one to choose. Blaming the curse was a way of avoiding looking at what happened later. Emma sighs at that thought knowing it's just one more occasion when she ran. Instead of examining how her relationship with Regina truly broke down she chose to blame the curse and throw herself into finding Regina and then attempting to simply live.

It didn't work.

Having Regina back in Storybrooke has forced her to truly look back at what happened. Back when Regina first left Emma lost herself in the life her parents wanted for her and later on her search. She chose not to delve deeper into her past and she knows that is her cross to bear. So is her big mistake. She was running from her happy ending and to her parents. Emma knows that for the rest of her life, whether Regina gives her a second chance or not, that one of her biggest regret will always be letting Regina go.

She let Snow and Charming get in to her head. Emma knows that what hurt Regina most is that she broke her promise. She promised that they would always stand and fight together and under all the mess of curses, parents, sons and everything else she let it slip. How the hell does she make up for something like that?

Emma only hopes that she can. She's not so sure she deserves forgiveness. She hopes that one day she might earn it. Until that moment she'll fight to prove she's changed. She let her happy ending slip from her grasp in one bad decision and she won't let it happen again. Love is worth fighting for and Emma wishes she hadn't been so blind to that before.

She unlocks the cell holding her mother captive. "You're being released into Dad's custody," she says simply.

"Fine," Snow says gruffly, "This whole thing was ridiculous."

Emma frowns, "No it wasn't. How do you not see what you did? Lila doesn't know you. She barely knows me or Henry. You basically tried to kidnap her and snatch her from the only mother she has ever known! What's ridiculous Snow is you thinking I would condone that."

"Is it really? Look back Emma. What did you do with Henry? You took him from the only mother he knew. You kept him from her and brought him to live with us. Why would I not think you would support me?"

Emma's mouth opens and closes several times at Snow's words. She'd love to scream that her mother is wrong but she's not. She didn't really steal Henry away. But she didn't encourage him to give Regina a chance either. She let herself be convinced that he was better off with her, Snow and Charming. At the time it was too easy to be swept up in it and just do what her son and parents were telling her what was best. She wishes she had fought harder. This time she can. Most people don't get second chances. Emma's taking Regina returning as a second chance. Not one she deserves but one she won't let go to waste.

"Well hopefully Snow you would have seen that in the three years since Regina disappeared that Henry and I have changed. I hoped you would too. Dad did. It's been three years Snow. People do not stay the same as the way they were three years ago. How can you not see that Henry and I are not the same as we were?" Emma asks.

"All I've seen is you two pining after a woman who left you and stole your child. It's not healthy Emma. You're just holding you and Henry back. You could have a happy ending. You, Lila and Henry. You don't need her. You didn't need her before so why pretend any different now?" Snow asks.

Emma's fist clenches as anger rises over her mother's words.  _How could I not have seen it before?_  It's not easy to see the worst in your parents. After so long without them Emma had hoped for the best. She tried to see the good in them and be what they wanted her to be. Now she knows that that isn't how it was supposed to be. It shouldn't have been her fighting to change to fit what they want but them supporting who she was. They didn't and now here they are.

Her father has changed. Emma can see that. She can see it in the conversations they have now and his actions since he and Snow reluctantly returned from the Enchanted Forest. After they came back he found her and apologised for ever forcing her to come in the first place. Over the past two years they've formed a relationship and she feels like she truly does have a supportive father. He is no longer pushing her to whatever happy ending he thinks she should have and instead just wants to be a part of whatever life she chooses to have.

She can't say the same for Snow. Snow still tries to push her towards a certain life even when it comes to small things like whether Henry learns to ride a horse or not. Emma sighs in frustration. She can't let it go on any more. She wanted a mother for so long but not like this. She wanted a mother who would support her and love her for who she is not one who constantly needs her to be someone else.

"Things are different Snow. They are. I listened to you three years ago. You told me Regina was guilty and I let you influence me and talk me into believing it. I tried for so long Snow to be the daughter you need me to be and it still wasn't enough. What will be Snow? Why am I not enough?!" At the last question her voice cracks as her eyes fill with tears. She takes a deep breath before continuing, "I wanted a mom for so long Snow. My whole life I wished I would find a mother who loved me and supported me. I know it's hard for you Snow. I do. You sent me through that wardrobe and you missed my childhood but you know what I missed you during my childhood too. I know this is a difficult relationship to figure out but if it's going to work then you need to accept who I am, what I want and who I choose to love. You may be my mother Snow but I miss Mary Margaret, I miss my friend who encouraged me to go after love and fight for my happy ending. I know there's so much bad blood between you and Regina but I read about you in Henry's book. I read so much about how you believed in love, hope and second chances. So why can't you believe in those things when it comes to Regina? Or even for that matter to me?"

"You don't understand," Snow says, "It's her fault we lost you."

"Yes. Yes she cast the curse but  _you_  put me through the wardrobe. Not Regina. It was her curse but it was your choice to send me through alone and I know you claim it was for my best chance but it wasn't. It was for yours. It's what you've done the entire time I've known you as a mother. You claim to be acting for what's best for me and Henry but in reality it's what's best for you and I'm sick of it. You blame Regina for losing me the first time and I know that's because it's easier than blaming yourself, but this time Snow you have no-one to blame but yourself. I'm done trying to be what you want. I am Emma Swan. I've made a lot of mistakes and I hope to make up for them. I let the love of my life go but I will fight to get her back if she'll have me, and god I hope that one day she will. I let my happy ending fall apart Snow and I won't let you stop me from trying to repair it. I want to fix things with Regina if they can be. I want us to be happy. Either you can support me with that or you can't but either way I am going to do what's best for me, Henry, Lila and Regina. They deserve my best and I'm going to give it to them."

With that she leaves her mother alone before heading out to therapy.

(New York – March 2013)

Emma sits in her hotel room with a sigh. She lies back on the bed shutting her eyes for a moment. She hasn't had a moment to truly relax and think for days now. Everything has moved just far too damn fast.

As she closes her eyes she sees Regina's face again and quickly forces herself to open her eyes. The flash makes her heart ache with regret and sorrow. Every time she closes her eyes now all she can see is that look of pure devastation in Regina's eyes when she realised Emma didn't believe. Sorrow was etched into every part of Regina's face but what stunned Emma most was that Regina didn't fight back. She didn't even defend herself. She just gave Emma that haunted defeated look and vanished.

Emma knows why Regina didn't fight back. She knows it's because Regina felt lost. It's because Emma broke her promise for them to always fight with each other and with that broken promise faith was lost. Emma didn't believe in Regina and so Regina lost faith in Emma to be there for her. She didn't fight because she couldn't believe there was anything to fight for.

_Damn evidence_ Emma thinks as she remembers. It was barely evidence but she couldn't see that. Her parents were so convinced that it was Regina. So was Henry. Emma, though, was meant to be the one to believe in Regina. Instead she let their words and their convictions get in her head. She refused to believe the evidence but believed in the magic. She believed because for once she looked at her parents and they looked at her as if she'd finally done something right. She had finally made them happy and for a moment it was a soothing balm.

It was only later that Emma could see the devastation that moment would cause.

It's only now, too late, in a hotel room far away that Emma realises that in getting her parent's approval she let her faith slip.  _Damnit_  Emma thinks. She looks to her phone wondering if she'll see a text or call from Regina. She's waiting for a sign that Regina is out there somewhere alive.

Right now Emma doesn't know. She never got the chance to look for Regina. Archie appeared on their doorstep and the next minute so did Gold demanding she come to New York and help him find his son. At the time Emma thought she had no choice and that it would be safer for her and Henry to be away from the potential threat of Cora. It wouldn't be until years later that Emma would see that she did have a choice. She just didn't take it.

Instead she's lying in a New York hotel room trying to wrap her head around the latest curveball in her life. There's just too much going on right now and Emma doesn't know how to deal. Before Storybrooke she had an ordinary life. It was lonely and a little boring but she knew how to cope with it.

With Regina and Henry she was happy. Life was complex because of the curse and Henry's fragile relationship with Regina but it was still a good life. It may have had complications but they were happy and when it was just her, Regina and Henry, Emma believed they could make it and that perhaps she was meant for a happy ending. She believed in love and joy. Her life was good and whilst she knows they had to break the curse she can't help but miss the days when it was just them.

Now life just topples over her. There's her parents and the added pressure they bring. She thought having parents would be easier because it would mean having people in her corner. Instead all they brought was more pressure and more complications. The curse broke and people remembered. Rumple brought back magic and tried to kill Regina. She saved her and wound up in the Enchanted Forest when she needed to be in Storybrooke most. By the time she returned her family was all over the place and her home had been moved from the mansion she loved to a cramped apartment. There was the expected opposition to her love with Regina and Emma just wishes people would let them be happy. Then there was Cora and Archie and all that mess. Now Neal. It's all too much.

Emma wishes it would all slow down just so she could process. She just wants one day where she can think and get everything sorted. Emma's not naïve, she knows her life will need more than a day but she'd love to have a day where she could at least start. Instead everything just gets more and more complicated and as it does she finds herself letting things slip.

Unfortunately she's letting the most important things slip. Instead of being herself she's trying to be the daughter her parents need. She wants to be with Regina and Henry but her son refuses to give his other mother a chance. She wants to be the one by Regina's side but ended up being the one who let her down.

Emma lifts her phone once more and hovers over Regina's name.  _Why would she want to talk to you?_  a voice in her head asks,  _you broke your promise. You're not her saviour. You're barely even her Emma anymore._ With those thoughts running through her head she closes the phone.

(Present)

Regina sits in silence in Archie's office as they wait for Emma to arrive. She doesn't know what to expect from today's session. She hopes that Emma figured out when there breaking point was. She's not sure if it will make a difference. She hopes it will. All Regina knows for sure is that she needs Emma to know just exactly why things began to go as bad as they did. She knows how it happened for her. For Regina their relationship began to fall apart not just because Emma didn't believe in her but because Regina lost faith in Emma. The Archie incident made her realise that she could no longer count on Emma to fight for her and for Regina that realisation was a devastating blow. She could see what Emma was doing to herself yet could not save her.

Now she sees a different Emma. She sees a stronger Emma willing to fight for them, for the happy ending they lost but Regina is still plagued with doubt. She remembers how Emma was so willing to fight before but they fell apart regardless. Her slowly repairing heart reminds her of how quickly things deteriorated between her and Emma and how neither of them fought. Emma disappeared and she ran away. They both lost faith in their relationship and what there was to fight for. What Regina fears most now is giving Emma a second chance only for it to be ripped away again. Regina has suffered enough heartache and been forced to stand on her own time and time again. She's not so sure she wants to let love in only to wind up devastated and alone yet again.

Emma bursts through the door startling her out of her thoughts. "I'm sorry I'm late," she says to both people. She doesn't move to sit next to Regina. Instead she grabs a chair and moves it so she can sit in front of her. She wants to look at Regina and face her when she says her piece.

"I know what happened to us," Emma begins, "I wasn't strong enough."

"What?" Regina asks. She wasn't expecting that. She was expecting a pinpointed event but then again what happened between them may have been triggered by one moment but it was still about so much more.

"I wasn't strong enough," Emma repeats, "Change happens Regina. We all change but I changed in a way I didn't like. I know for you the event that triggered everything between us was your Mom framing you for Archie but I was breaking before that we both know it. That moment was just like adding gasoline to a fire. It took a little fire and blew us up. Before I came to Storybrooke my life was simple. It was empty and it was lonely but I could manage it. I knew what to expect and I had grown accustomed to standing alone. Then Henry came along and he brought me to you. From that I got something new – happiness. That was something I had so rarely experienced in my life before and I should have appreciated that so much more than I did. God I should have. The problem is that I didn't even consider that we could fall apart and I let myself take that happiness and love for granted and that wasn't fair to you or me. I know you say it wasn't the curse breaking that ruined us but for me that's when it begun. The curse broke and we were happy. We were and we were strong. Then everything was too much Regina. I had parents who needed me to be the daughter they had imagined. An entire town needed me to be a hero. I wasn't Emma anymore. I was just the Saviour and I hated it. I hated it because I didn't feel like Emma anymore. I didn't feel like I was allowed to be because I suddenly had pressure coming in from all sides. Even Henry stopped seeing me as Emma and started seeing me as some great hero. There wasn't any time for me to stop and see what was happening. I didn't get time in Storybrooke after the curse to figure out who I was and what I wanted in this new life. I was trapped in the Enchanted Forest and my focus as all on getting home because all I wanted was to get back to you and Henry. I never stopped to think about what was going to happen when I came back. I was naïve and I wasn't strong enough for the life that was thrown at me when I returned. The only bright spot in my life was you because you loved me just for me and like an idiot I took that as a guarantee. I stopped working for that and started trying to be what everyone else wanted. I didn't realise what was happening until the Archie incident. You're right in that that moment triggered the next few months because you lost faith in me and I'm not surprised because I lost faith in me too. I wasn't strong enough to be myself and instead I let myself become who everyone seemed to want me to be. We fell apart because I lost myself. There was just so much pressure and in the end I caved beneath it all and I sacrificed both myself and the woman I love. I ran to New York instead of saying. At the time I convinced myself I didn't have a choice and that I had to a go but that's bullshit because we all have choices. You chose to leave and so did I. Even when we came back I chose to avoid you because I wasn't strong enough to face you. I loved you so goddamn much and I still do but I barely recognised myself and I didn't see how you could even still love me. The fact that you did is testament to how strong you are. I wish I had had your strength back then Regina. I really do. You did the right thing in leaving and I know you don't need me to tell you that but I want you to know that you did the right thing because what was happening was just awful for both of us. Your leaving devastated me but it woke me up. It made me realise who I had become, how much I had changed and who I wanted to be. I missed you every second of every day but you made me grow up. Your leaving made me become stronger. My biggest regret is that I wasn't strong enough to fight back then. I can't apologise enough for that. All I can do is promise to be strong now. I'm done Regina. I'm done having other people telling me what my happy ending is or who I should be. I just want to be me and have that be enough. I know what I want my happy ending to be and I know I don't deserve it yet but I want you to know that I am not going to waste this second chance, that I am going to fight for me, for you and if it can happen for us."

“How can I know that you’re strong enough Emma?” Regina asks, “I thought you were before and look what happened. You say I’m strong but I’m not. I left.”

“You might have left Regina but I let you go. Trust me Regina you’re strong and I know you know you are. Leaving took a lot of strength. The fact that you still love me and are giving me any kind of chance proves how strong you are. I’m not going to push you Regina because a happy ending shouldn’t be forced. We should just let it happen. All I need to know is will you still be here?”

“What?”

“You came here to help Ruby while Granny recovers. She has three weeks until she can go back to work. I need to know if when those three weeks are up if I’m going to lose you all over again or whether or not we’re fighting for something more permanent. So will you be here?” 

_Thanks for reading :)_


	14. Chapter Fourteen

_I am so sorry for the delay in updating here. I'm currently finishing off two other multi-chapter fics as well as trying to work through my list of one-shot prompts and at the moment it is graduation central in my household so I've been busy with sorting that out. I would love to say that updates will be quicker but in a couple of weeks it is the summer holidays and I will be looking after my little brother so they might still be spaced out like this. I will endeavour to do them as fast as I can however. Anyway thank you all for the response to the last chapter and hope you like this part._

Silence descends after Emma's question and the blonde kneeling on the floor can't help but feel uneasy. She looks up to see indecisive eyes staring back at her and wonders what's going on in Regina's mind right now. A few years ago she would have been able to look at Regina and know. Now she doesn't and Emma can only hope that one day they get back to that point. That's one of the things she misses most. When she was with Regina she had someone in her life who knew her completely and understood her better than she sometimes understood herself. She misses having someone who knows her so well. She misses knowing Regina that well.

For Regina it is not an easy question. She agreed with the therapy so that she and Emma could repair their past. She wanted the therapy so that she could stop dwelling on the pain and the heartache and finally move on from it. Regina made peace with her decision to leave years ago. In that case she knows she made the right choice because the way things were there was no way for them to communicate or recuperate. At the time what they had could not be repaired because they weren't both there. Emma was around but not willing to fight. Regina wanted to fight but was being worn down by isolation and heartbreak. Leaving whilst difficult was a choice she had to make.

She doesn't regret leaving because she was happy. It wasn't complete happiness because something was always missing. Her past had held her back from fully moving on with her life and Regina has never been sure that she wants to move on from Emma. A part of her heart has always yearned to go back and find their happy ending and see if their true love was meant to last. When she left three years ago she had questioned whether or not true love always meant a happy ending. Some days she thinks she might be better off searching for another kind of love.

With Lila she found happiness again. It was the kind of happiness she had once had with Henry. When she first got Henry he repaired the hole in her heart. He showed her the light in a world of monotony and darkness. For the first time in many years someone believed in her, someone loved her and was happy to be around her. She had a family and she was content. She still missed romantic love, the kind of love where someone always cares and knows you in and out, but she was content. Like all the times she'd loved before it slipped away from her. Henry grew to hate her. He learned of his adoption and turned her back on her and once again she grew desperate only to lose him. She fears losing him again. Regina knows that he is no longer the same stubborn eleven year old he was. He is not the boy who believed in good and evil and saw his book as gospel. Yet a part of her remembers the pain of his rejection and the many cries of "You're not my Mom" and "You're evil". His words still hang heavily in her heart and mind and so she still can't help but fear that maybe he will turn her on once more.

Then again she also knows that she left him. Admittedly at the time she left he wanted nothing to do with her but still it hurt to leave him. The thought of never seeing her baby boy again was heartbreaking but she feared it was doomed to happen anyway what with the talk of moving to the Enchanted Forest. In spite of all that she knows that he cares and that in leaving him she hurt him. She woke him up to the past they shared but he had forgotten in favour of stories about an evil queen. Regina worried that he would hate her upon her return but he didn't. He had missed her and his relieve at seeing her again outweighed any resentment. It was unexpected and sent guilt tearing through her heart. She missed a lot of his life but he missed having her in it. She doesn't want to leave him again.

Before she makes her decision to stay or return to Boston she needs to talk to Henry as well. This choice is not just about her and Emma. It's about what is best for Lila. It's about Henry too. It's about her friendship with Ruby and Granny. This choice will hold ramifications for many not just herself.

She's seen Ruby and Granny a lot during her time in Boston but it's different being here with them full time. Here in Storybrooke she has their support all the time. Whenever she needs them or they need her it's a phone call not a long car ride. Whilst she loved having them reach out to her staying here has made her feel more part of the family. It is not just her and Lila. There is more love and support and care and those are things that have been sparse in Regina's life.

As far as Lila's concerned Regina is torn. On one hand she would love for Lila to grow up surrounded by family. She would love for her to have both her mothers and form a sister/brother bond with Henry. She knows Lila has loved being here because she gets to see her Aunty Ruby and Granny all the time as well as meet new family. For Lila moving back to Storybrooke would mean she could always have that family and love which is something Regina wants for her daughter.

On the other hand Regina still has a lot of fears when it comes to her daughter. Whilst she knows Charming is not a threat, Snow is still a danger. She already tried to snatch Lila once and Regina can't help but worry that she will try again. She lost Henry once. She can't lose another child. There's also the matter of Emma and Henry. Whilst they are trying to work through the past now and reach a point where they can either be civil co-parents or consider trying a relationship again Regina doesn't want Lila to get used to having a big brother and Emma around only for her to lose it. It was devastating to lose Emma and Henry and Regina does not want her daughter to suffer the same fate if things do not work out as they hope they will.

In the end she looks at Emma staring up at her before swallowing heavily. "I need to think about it," is all she says before leaving the session. She wonders if she'll have an answer before the next one.

* * *

After her session Regina heads to the school. She's letting Emma look after Lila for the afternoon whilst she picks Henry up and spend the afternoon with him. After the kiss incident they've not undertaken any more outings with both the children. Over the next few weeks Regina wants to have some more outings as a family for many reasons. The first is to see how she and Emma do as co-parents and whether or not they can be together with their kids as just friends in case therapy does not work and they decide to move onto other partners. She doesn't really want to move on with someone else but she is also aware that she needs to test the waters in case she has to. Time has taught her to be realistic and maybe a little bit cynical. She believes in true love but given what happened the first time round, she's all too aware that love is not always enough. Her second reason is to give Henry, Lila and Emma more time together in case she does decide to leave. At the moment she's still conflicted but if her decision is to go at the end of these three weeks then she wants them to have as much time as possible. Her other reason is also just to see how she feels with them all together.

Henry waves to her as he exits the school before wandering over. "Hey Mom. I wasn't expecting to see you today."

She frowns, "Do you already have plans? I can go if you want."

He shakes his head quickly, "No. Don't go. I was just surprised Mom but it's a good surprise."

At those words she miles, "Okay then. Where do you want to go?"

He chews his lip thoughtfully before looking back at her. From his expression she can tell that what he's about to say is a place he might have wanted to visit a few times before but not been ready to. She looks at him, "Mifflin Street." It's not home anymore. In her memories it's home but now, well she's not really sure where home is. She misses Boston but it's not with the same longing she missed Storybrooke.

About half an hour later they sit in the foyer of the mansion on Mifflin Street. It's bizarre being back. The place clearly has not been entered in three years. Cobwebs line the ceilings and corridors and as soon as Regina steps foot in the door she knows that even if she does come back to Storybrooke she'll never come back to this house. It is for all intents and purposes a ghost house. It is a dusty relic of her past that only reminds her of what she has lost. When she first woke up in this house she could envision a future in it. Now when she sits in here she sees the past.

For Henry it's saddening to see the home he grew up in look so broken. To him it feels haunted. If he concentrates hard enough he can almost see himself as a young child running down the halls and sneaking up on his mom. When he was young the house was full of laughter and love. Now it seems to be held up by its own loneliness.  _Loss_  he thinks. The house is full of loss rather than happiness and it hurts to be here. He had to come back though. He was just waiting for his mom to come back. He nearly came in on a number of occasions while she was gone but it didn't seem right for him to be there without her.

Now as they sit cross-legged across from each other in the looming hallway he knows neither of them will be back here.

"Henry I need to talk to you about something," Regina says after a long period of silence. "I vowed to be honest with you and I'm going to be. In our session Emma asked me if I'm going to stay here or go back to Boston once Granny's back on her feet."

He frowns and in that moment she can see the eleven year old boy she left behind all those years ago. Her heart breaks a little at his questioning and almost fearful look. "What did you say?" he asks.

"I said I needed to think about it," she replies. She doesn't want to leave him but she also must think of herself and Lila.

"What do you think you'll do?" he asks.

She shrugs, "I don't know," she says with a sigh, "I really don't know."

He nods, "I thought I wanted to leave here," he says slowly, "I really thought that in the Enchanted Forest I'd be happy. I had visions of living in a castle with Grandma, Grandpa, Ma and Neal. I was eleven Mom. All I saw was sword fighting and horse riding. I thought it would be fun. I never really thought about what I was leaving behind. When Emma told me you were missing I didn't even care until we got to the Enchanted Forest. I know that sounds horrible but it's true. As soon as we got there I realised what I had left behind. I missed a lot of things when I was over there Mom but what I missed most was you. I tried to be angry at you for lying. I resented you for ages because you had left, because you could leave when I had tried and couldn't."

"Henry I'm sorry," Regina begins but he holds up his hand to continue, "Mom I resented you for a long time but then I stopped. For a while I blamed myself. All I could think of was that had I been nicer or respected your relationship with Emma than maybe you would have stayed. Now I see that it was about more than me. I know you left for more reasons than just me. I still wish I had figured out that you weren't as evil as the book made you out to be sooner. Maybe then things would have been different. Maybe they wouldn't have. I guess I just wanted you to know that I really missed you."

Regina wipes a tear from her eye before she looks at her son who grew up while she was gone. "I missed you too Henry. You were one of the main reasons that my decision to leave was so difficult. You hated me but you were and always will be my son. We had a lot of good memories here didn't we?"

He nods and she continues, "But that's all they were – memories. You were gone Henry and I thought you were leaving. I thought that you were going to the Enchanted Forest. I could never have gone back to that land Henry but I know you were set on it. Living without you was unbearable but at least when you were in Storybrooke I knew I could still see you. Leaving was not easy. Believe me it was not easy and I missed you and Emma every day that I was gone but at the same time I can't regret it because I think had I stayed we would have destroyed each other."

"We would have done. I'd have left and Emma would have gone with me. Grandma would have taken Lila as soon as possible. We'd all leave and you'd have been alone Mom. Alone in a town full of people who still saw you as the Evil Queen. I think you're right and that we all needed these three years to wake up. People don't see you as evil anymore. I know I'm not the only one who missed you Mom."

"What do you think I should do?" Regina asks.

He sighs, "If I was going to be selfish I'd tell you to stay but I can't. I mean I hope you do but here's the thing, it's your choice not mine. You don't have only me to think about. You need to think about Lila. Then there's Ruby and Granny and whether or not you even still want to be with Emma. But the most important thing Mom is do you think you'll be able to find a happy ending here?"

Regina sighs deeply, "That's what I need to figure out the answer too. No matter what happens know that I love you Henry."

"I love you too Mom. Can you promise me one thing?"

She nods.

"Promise me that this time you won't disappear. Last time you left the worst thing was not even knowing if you were alive. I didn't know if you were healthy or happy or anything. Just promise me you won't disappear."

"Henry even if I do decide to leave it won't be like last time. I won't just disappear." That she can promise. She just can't promise to stay. Part of her wants to but another part doesn't. Another part wants to see if after talking through the past with Emma and letting go of it she might be able to live happily elsewhere. The bigger part of her looks at her son and how much of his life she has already missed and yearns to stay.

* * *

Emma smiles as she rolls a ball over to Lila who giggles before rolling it back. It's a little ball which lights up as it rolls and the toddler finds it absolutely incredible. Emma wonders if Henry was like this. Those memories of course are with Regina but Emma can imagine them playing like this. Regina is a great Mom and Emma has always known that. It's because she loves and although she claims she doesn't know how she does. She loves with all her might and is the kind of Mom Emma always wished she had.

When Henry was born she knew she couldn't be that type of mother. She had been left by Neal and still had months left to serve of her sentence. When she left all she had was her car. She couldn't give him what she wanted. When she met him she knew that he had had everything she wanted for him. A good home. A loving mother. After Regina left Henry told her more and more stories about his childhood. Now looking at Lila, Emma knows that Regina has given Lila a fun and loving childhood too.

She looks at the little girl who has now lost interest in their little ball game and moved onto stacking blocks and knocking them down. Lila laughs as she does so and each time she does Emma can't help but grin at her happy daughter. She's missed so many moments like this and she doesn't want to miss any more. Emma has no idea what Regina will decide. She hopes Regina will want to stay but she cannot force her to nor will she. No matter what happens she knows that she'll do everything she can to still see Regina and Lila.

If she has to travel to Boston she will. If she has to travel to the end of the earth and back again she will. Three years ago she didn't fight for Regina. She let their relationship slide and lost her chance at a happy ending. Now she has another one and Emma knows she was lucky to get that. Were it not for Granny and Ruby reaching out to Regina and accepting her into their family Regina would never have come back here and Emma knows it. She owes Granny and Ruby massive thank yous for doing what she should have but did not. They gave her love and hope and support where Emma had neglected to do so. They gave her daughter extra family as well and for that Emma owes them a great debt too.

Lila pokes her shoulder to draw Emma from her thoughts. "Hey baby girl," Emma says with a smile as the toddler looks at her. "Emma," she says, "When's Mommy home?"

"Soon," Emma replies hopefully. For today that will be true. In the long term Emma can only hope that Regina still sees this as home and will want to stay.

* * *

Once Lila is settled in bed Regina wanders out into the living room to find Ruby offering out a glass of cider. "You look like you want one of these," Ruby says in explanation. Regina nods gratefully accepting the drink before taking a sip. She settles down on the couch sipping in silence for a few minutes.

"How was work today?" Regina asks to avoid the issue still weighing heavily on her mind.

"Same as always," Ruby replies knowing her friend has clearly got a lot on her mind. "So what's up?" she asks. At Regina's curious look she adds, "You're obviously thinking about something so why not spill? Venting might help."

Regina sighs, "It's not really venting. I just have a lot to think about." Though, she thinks, speaking it through out loud might help. "Emma asked me if I'm planning to stay or leave when Granny's better."

"Oh," Ruby says quietly. She's liked having Regina around. Reaching out to her and visiting her has been nice but having her here full time has made her feel more like she has a sister around. She once felt like that with Snow. It's funny how times change. Now she and Snow barely speak and she sees Regina as being like a sister to her. With Granny sick too having Regina here for support and company has been wonderful. Not to mention she gets to see her adorable little niece all the time. "So what's going to be best for you?" she asks eventually. As Regina's friend and family that is what's most important to her. If she wanted to she could ask Regina to stay but she won't because this decision is Regina's to make about what will be best for her and Lila.

"I don't know," Regina replies. "There's a lot to consider."

"Well how has it felt to be back?"

Regina pauses before replying, "Unexpected. I came here expecting pain and heartbreak. I thought they would take Lila or not be here at all. But Instead Emma's here and she wants to talk. She and Henry want to fight for me and Lila. It's been hard because everywhere I go I see memories of Henry and I or of me and Emma but at the same time it's been good. I think a lot of what has held be back is that neither me nor Emma ever really got closure on our relationship in the past and now we've had the opportunity to see where we went wrong and for the first time in a long time I feel like I can move away from those memories of heartache and misery and go for something happier."

"You just don't know whether that happiness is here or in Boston."

Regina nods, "Exactly. On one hand for Henry and for Lila I think staying here will be good. I'll get to see Henry more and Lila will get to grow up with her entire family around and I think that's important. In Boston though being away was good. It meant I got space for it to just be me and Lila. It was uncomplicated and we were happy but I feel like going back will be unfair to Lila."

"Well I'm not gonna lie. I would love to have you guys here and Lila would be able to get to know Henry and Emma better but this isn't just about Lila. What do you want?"

"I want to be happy," Regina replies. It's all she's ever really wanted.

"Well where do you think you'll be happy? Do you think you'll going to be try again with Emma or try dating someone new?"

"I don't know. I want to trust Emma. I love her Ruby. I still love her and I do want to be with her but what if we just end up hurting each other again? What if we try and she runs or I do? What if we go through all this therapy and decide we work better not as together?"

"You can't run your life on what ifs Regina," Ruby says, "Do you want to be with Emma or not?"

"Can I say both?" Regina asks, "I want to be with her but I don't know if I can trust her. I don't know if I could be happy with someone else, if we both could be."

"I can set you up on a blind date if you want," Ruby replies, "At least then you might be able to decide whether or not you want to date."

"Ugh. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it," Regina says, "For now I need to figure out if I want to stay or go."

"If you want my advice I would say listen to your heart because I think it knows what you want to do. You just need to listen and let your head catch up."

* * *

 

Emma sits anxiously on Archie’s couch, her knee jumping up and down as she taps her foot on the floor. After what feels like endless waiting Regina comes through the door. Emma looks up at her with a nervous smile. She has no idea what Regina’s going to say.

“So?” she asks, “Do you know?”

Regina sighs before looking at Emma, “I wish I had a clear answer. I wish I could say with certainty yes but right now Emma I can’t. We’ve only been reconnected for three weeks and honestly it’s not enough time for me to be able to say whether or not I want us to try again. I love you. I probably always will but after three weeks how can I say whether or not we can be happy? I can see that you’ve changed and that Henry’s grown up. I’ve missed this town. I’ve missed you and I’ve missed Henry. I’d like to believe I could be happy here but I need proof. I need to see that I can be. I can’t give you a yes or no Emma. All I can give you is a maybe and that we have three weeks to figure out what we’re going to do.” 

_Thanks for reading :)_


	15. Chapter Fifteen

_Hi all. I meant to have this up sooner but I was struck by a bug :( Apologies for any mistakes and thank you for the response to the last chapter. Hope you enjoy this part :)_

Regina can't believe she agreed to this. A blind date. She's been on one before and it was a disaster because all she could think about was Emma. That date ended with her practically fleeing back to her apartment. Yet here she is again. Tonight though she's in a different place. Last time she tried this she was still hung up on the past and had had no closure.

Now thanks to returning to Storybrooke and their sessions with Archie she feels like they are reaching a point of closure over their past. Regina can't say for certain what she wants from their future. All she knows for sure is that she doesn't want to be haunted by the past anymore nor does she want it to hold her back. She has a lot of figuring out to do and this is why she agreed to this date. It's a way of exploring her options and deciding what she really wants.

Part of her still has questions over Emma. She's all too aware of the fact that had Granny not fallen ill she would never have seen Emma or Henry again. They gave up searching for her just like she resisted returning. Some days she wonders what would have happened had she never come back. Regina can't help but wonder if things will return to the way they were in the past three years were she to return to Boston.

Regina sighs staring at her reflection in the mirror. She's retained her looks though once the curse broke she did start investing in moisturisers and creams that helped. She knows she's still beautiful and so her doubts about the date are not from that. She plumps her curls and tries to calm her nerves.

Part of her worries about who Ruby has set her up with. When she left town the majority of people hated her or at least she thought they did. Now people don't regard her with the same suspicion and thinly veiled hatred they used to. Yet she can't help but worry. What if whoever she's about to go out with her sees her only as an evil queen and not Regina? With Emma, even at their worst, she never had to worry about that. Emma only ever saw her as Regina.

She never had to worry about it in Boston either. To the people there the evil queen was nothing more than a cartoon villain – just a story to scare children and nothing more. As much as one part of still finds the vanity aspect of her motives in that story appalling she actually enjoyed being with people who didn't know the truth. In Storybrooke she couldn't escape the pain and horrors of her past. She was always tarred with the label of evil queen even with her son. In Boston she could just be Regina.

Emma was the only person in Storybrooke who gave her that and Regina wonders if she can ever find someone else like that again. She knows she cannot hide away from who she was but she wants to be with someone who sees beyond her title and instead sees her, all of her. She knows she needs to stop thinking about Emma tonight. Tonight is about exploring options and seeing if she wants to try and find love elsewhere. In her heart Regina is still torn. Whilst Emma and her have a long way to go she does want them to make it. She likes the idea of them growing old together and raising Henry and Lila. She still loves Emma. Even at their worst she still loved her and in spite of everything Regina does believe in true love and she can't help but believe that if she can love Emma in their worst moments than surely her love is strong enough to try again? Her doubts lie in whether or not Emma loves her as strongly. She knows that if they are to have any chance then she needs to find a way to believe in Emma's love for her too.

If she can't well then she needs to consider that she might be happier elsewhere. It's this small part of her heart, the part full of doubt and fear, that encouraged her to say yes to a blind date. Now she just needs to get herself out of this bedroom and to the restaurant.

* * *

Emma rubs her neck tiredly as she wanders into the Italian restaurant on the edge of town. She normally heads to Granny's for dinner but today she really wanted pizza and this place does do it better. After the long day she's had at the station she needs some high quality pizza. Henry's at his friend's place and Lila's with Regina which means she has the apartment all to herself. These are the nights she hates most because they remind her of her loneliness and the love she lost.

She sighs as she trudges up to the counter. She musters up a smile for the attendant there. "Hi, I ordered a takeaway pepperoni pizza," she says and he nods before rushing off to go find her order. They don't normally do takeaway but she still gets some saviour perks and one of those is being able to get takeout anywhere. Emma doesn't normally like to take advantage of it but on the long lonely days she makes exceptions. As she waits she looks around the restaurant. It's busy but then it always is.

One table in particular catches her eye. In the centre of the restaurant she sees Regina. For a moment she forgets to breathe. It's been a long time since she saw Regina all dressed up. Far too long. She has a lot of photos from their dates all those years ago and she has her memories but they're nothing compared to the real thing. Emma loves Regina and she loves it when the brunette felt relaxed and comfortable enough to wear her comfy clothes around her but when Regina dresses up for dinners and dates she goes all out and looks absolutely stunning. Emma hasn't seen her dressed up like that in three years and she wishes with all her heart that she was the person sitting across from Regina tonight. She isn't. Tinkerbell, a blonde former fairy, who came through to Storybrooke a couple of years ago is that lucky person. Emma's heart drops.

She knows what this means. She's not an idiot. Well she thinks a part of her still is because she let Regina go in the first place. Her actions three years ago made her an idiot. Emma knows she could be sitting at that table instead of Tinkerbell. She should have fought and had she done who knows where they might be? They might be here celebrating an anniversary rather than Regina on a blind date and Emma getting takeout in preparation for an evening alone.

Emma sighs deeply. She looks at Regina. She hasn't seen that blue dress before but it's gorgeous. Everything Regina wears like that is but for Emma since it's been three years it's overwhelming and incredible to see her former girlfriend in a dress like that. It's dark and silky and wraps around her. Her now longer hair is up in a messy curly updo and Emma can feel tears springing into her eyes.  _She's still the most beautiful woman I've ever met_  she thinks and that thought causes a tear to roll down her cheek. It should be her at that table not Tinkerbell.

It would have been had Emma not screwed things up three years ago and Emma wants it to be again. She wants to be the one taking Regina to nice dinners and showering her with the attention and love she deserves to be shown. Emma has three weeks to prove that she can be that person. Seeing Regina out on a date with another person is just another reminder of what she has to fight for. It's enough to remind Emma that this is no time for fooling around and that it's about damn time she fought for Regina.

* * *

Regina kicks off her heels as she walks in the door of Ruby's apartment. She can't believe Ruby set her up with Tink of all people. Then again not many people know of her history with the fairy but still it was a remarkably unlucky set-up. It was awkward from the moment they sat down and realised that Ruby had put them both on the blind date.  _Typical_  Regina sighs sadly,  _the first blind date I have in Storybrooke and it's with some who blames me for ruining their life_. It's not exactly the best way to begin a date.

The whole evening was spent with Regina apologising for the mishap which led to Tink losing her wings. Back then Regina was only just learning magic and she had no idea what the consequences of trying the spell she tried would be. She should have never have been mucking around with pixie dust in the first place but Tink had told her it would lead her to another chance of love. Regina decided to try it because it might have meant freedom and hope. Except it didn't work. The dust simply blew up in their faces costing Tink her wings and losing Regina her hope.

Now she knows the dust didn't work because her true love was yet to be.

When she wasn't apologising the date was just plain tense. It was full of awkward tension and silences. As dates go it was just a disaster. She rubs her eyes tiredly as she peers into Lila's room. She smiles upon seeing her little girl curled up in her blankets and clutching at her stuffed animals. Regina shake her head. It always amazes her how Lila manages to pile in as many teddy bears and animals as possible into the bed. Regina creeps in to place a soft goodnight kiss on her daughter's head before watching the toddler sleep for a few minutes.

"At least you'll always know who I am," Regina whispers into the dark. Her daughter knows her only as Regina, as a Mommy. She will never see the evil queen. Regina promised that with Henry too but it didn't stop him from seeing her as one. Lila still believes in her and Regina hopes she will for years to come. Losing Henry's faith broke her heart and she's not sure she can go through it again. She hopes she'll never have to.

She exits the room before walking out into the living room where Ruby is waiting expectantly. "Before you ask Lila was good as gold. She drew you about a thousand different pictures, roped ol' Aunty Ruby here into an hour long game of snap and then conked out watching Tangled. By the way she wants a Pascale so good luck with that."

Regina chuckles, "She's getting one for Christmas."

"No, she wants a real one."

"Oh then no," Regina replies as she sits down on the couch awaiting the inevitable post-date interrogation.

"Soooo….." Ruby drawls out, "How was it? What did you think of Tink? She's pretty nice right?"

"And she hates my guts," Regina adds.

"What? How? I didn't think you guys knew each other back when you were all evil queenish," Ruby says confusedly.

"Well this was more in my pre-evil queen days," Regina clarifies, "It was back when I was first queen. I was lonely and miserable and just learning magic. Anyway one day I was feeling particularly low and I went out to the balcony and slipped."

"Slipped?" Ruby questions.

"I slipped," Regina replies insistently even though she didn't, "Anyway as I fell I thought maybe it was all over but then Tink saved me. She was a fairy and she decided to try and help me. Blue, of course, was dead against it. She never wanted to help me as a child let alone as an adult."

"Seriously? She handed out magic beans to Neal but wouldn't help you?"

"Apparently I was too touched by darkness," Regina says bitterly.

"And the son of the dark one wasn't?" Ruby asks.

"Don't get me started. Tink was different. She wanted to help me. She didn't care that Blue said no. She felt I was worth saving. She knew of a spell involving pixie dust that could help you find your true love. At the time I didn't think I had one since I'd lost Daniel but she told me a person can have more than one and that if you lose one there is still hope of finding another. I wanted to believe her and have hope so I agreed. I shouldn't have. I had no experience with pixie dust and I'd only just started learning magic. I was nowhere near ready for the spell but I was desperate. Tink stole some pixie dust and we tried the spell. Nothing happened because my next true love did not exist yet. The dust blew us back. Blue was furious and she took away Tink's wings. She lost her ability to be a fairy and she blamed me. I lost my last remaining shred of hope and blamed her."

"Wow. I really could not have picked a worse person to set you up with."

"It could have been worse. You could have set me up with one of the dwarves."

Ruby laughs, "Oh yeah that would have gone brilliantly. I can just picture you and Leroy at the Diner. Do you want me to try setting you up again?"

Regina sighs, "I don't know."

"Okay, well why not?"

"What's the point? Even if I didn't personally do something to someone here all of them know or see me as the evil queen. I can't escape that here. In Boston I could just be Regina. If I go back there that's all I have to be. I don't have to live under the shadow of my past or be faced with people who see me as a title and not the person I am now. If I go back to Boston I can just be Regina and a mother to Lila. Do you know why I chose to work in a café? I could have worked anywhere Ruby but I didn't want to. I just wanted to not be noticed for once. All my life I have always had to be someone. I've always been known. In Boston I got the chance to live the life I always wanted. When I was young all I wanted was to be able to support my family, be a mother and be loved. I didn't have Emma in Boston but I had a job where I made enough to raise my daughter and I had Lila. I wasn't an evil queen. I wasn't burdened by the past. I got to be Regina again and I can't help but wonder if I should go back because of that. I want to be Regina not an evil queen. In Storybrooke I can't avoid that part of my past. In Boston I can."

Ruby gives her a stern look, "Isn't that just running again? Regina you kept going on about how you needed to come back here and you were glad you did because it gave you a chance to stop escaping your past with Emma. When you came here you got the chance to get closure on your relationship and perhaps start again. The whole point was that you and Emma both stopped running. Obviously I want you to stay but I won't force you either way. But I think that if you go back just so you can stop being the evil queen then you're just running again Regina. You left last time because of a broken heart and you were right to. If you leave so that you can hide then that's not a good reason. At the end of the day the evil queen is part of who you were. You can't escape it because it's you. You cannot hide from yourself Regina and anyone who loves you loves all of you. That includes the fact that you have a past. Don't run from that."

Regina smiles at her, "If I try to kick my ass."

"Gladly so no more running?" Ruby asks.

"No more running," Regina promises. Part of her knows that just being Regina and ignoring her past was running. It's not that easy to admit. She sighs again. She goes on at Emma for running and yet she's been doing the same. She's not an evil queen anymore. She knows that and she knows that if she's truly meant to be with someone then they will see that to. Tink was obviously not that person.

She's still not sure if Emma is that person. She was once before and Regina knows that Emma still sees her as Regina. The problem was not in acceptance but that Emma did not fight for her. Even when Snow started trying to push Neal at her Emma didn't fight. That used to both hurt and infuriate her. Blue felt Bae was worth helping when she wasn't. Snow thought that Neal, who had left Emma to take the fall for his crime, was better for Emma than her. It still annoys her now. When they were together Regina never hurt Emma. She loved and cared for her and cherished every moment yet for Snow it wasn't enough. Snow still thought that a man who had a history of hurting Emma was better. She expected it of Snow to not accept her. What she had expected was for Emma to fight against it.

She needs someone not just to accept her but also to fight for her. She needs to fight for herself too.

* * *

Regina wakes up the next morning and walks out into the kitchen only to find a delivery on the table for her. She frowns in confusion. Somehow she doubts they're a token from her date from last night. Regina walks over to them slowly and curiously. The bouquet is a mix of red and white roses with lilies scattered throughout. A smile blooms on her face. She loves both lilies and red and white roses and there's only one person who knows that.  _Emma_  she thinks. She reaches for the card attached to the flowers.

_Hi Dear Hi Regina,_

_(Sorry couldn't decide on the best way to start!) I know these are probably a surprise but you deserve them. Three years ago I should have done more things like this and I really wish I had but I'm going to start now and if I am lucky enough to get a second chance with you then I promise I will do more things like this._

_Anyway I just wanted to make a start. I promised to prove to you that I do love you and that I will fight for you. I will Regina. I love you and I am going to do it right this time around. I have three weeks until you decide whether to stay or go and I will use them to show you how I feel. I'll fight beyond that too if you choose to leave._

_Either way I need you to know how I feel. I know this isn't much and it doesn't make it up for the past but hopefully it's a start. I know you like the red and white roses for unity and love and the lilies for peace. I want you to have all those things._

_Maybe we can talk later when you bring over Lila?_

_Emma x._

Regina smiles at the little note. It is a sweet gesture and whilst Emma is right that it doesn't really make up for anything. It is still a start. She can't remember the last time Emma did something like this for her. A pang of sadness hits as she thinks of that so she looks back over at the flowers and smiles instead. Emma may not have done things like this when they were together before but for her now it does show her that Emma loves her. It's enough to give her a little bit of hope.

* * *

Later on Regina walks with Lila over to Emma's house with a small smile. Lila skips beside her since today the tot is in the mood for walking. Lila giggles as she skips pointing out various bits of scenery. "Mommy flower!" Lila squeals before running over to a patch of daisies. She immediately begins picking some up. Regina smiles before kneeling down next to her daughter, "What have you found little Lila Bug?"

"Daisies!" Lila exclaims clapping her hands before pressing a load of flowers into her mother's hands. "Can I give some to Miss Emma?"

Regina nods with a small smile. She's glad Lila is warming up to Emma. A big part of her feared that the toddler wouldn't. The first week she was wary but Emma saving her from Snow was a big help. Now Lila enjoys visiting Emma and staying with her for a few hours which is a big improvement. Now that they've reconnected Regina doesn't want to keep the two apart. She knows that Emma feels the loss of those first few years and in spite of everything Regina doesn't want her to miss anymore nor does she want to miss anymore of Henry. No matter what state their relationship is in their children need them, both of them. A few years ago Regina didn't believe her son needed her. She now knows that he did, that he always did but didn't know it himself.  _I should have known that_  she thinks sadly as she thinks of the time they've all missed with each other.

"Is that all of them Lila?" she asks as her daughter continues to pile daisies into Regina's hand. The little girl looks at the gathered flowers for a few moments before nodding. "We need buttery-cups too," Lila says.

"Well let's see if we can find some shall we?" Regina asks taking her daughter's hand with her free one as they continue making their way over to Emma's house.

Luckily they find a few buttercups on the path leading up to Emma's so now Regina's hand is full of a mix of buttercups and fairly crushed daisies. She smiles at the nice gesture. She's had many bouquets like this and each time it made her heart sing. As they walk into Emma's driveway Regina spots someone she hasn't seen in years.

"Neal?" she asks.

He turns around surprised before smiling sheepishly, "Hey Regina. Henry said you were back. Um…how have you been?"

Lila curls herself around Regina's ankle and so Regina lifts her daughter up, "I've been okay. Yourself?"

He shrugs, "Okay as you can in Storybrooke. You know what it's like here."

She nods, "Indeed I do. What are you doing here?"

"Picking up Henry. You?"

"Dropping off Lila."

"Oh," he says awkwardly obviously unsure of what to say to his son's other mother. In the brief few weeks he knew her they didn't exactly speak much. What few events and occasions they were in the same place was full of awkward tension thanks to Snow. Seeing him again sparks up that familiar old flame of jealousy. Her mind wanders back into old territory – does Snow still try to set them up? Does he harbour love for her? If he made a move would Emma fight for her this time or not?

* * *

 

Oblivious to what’s going on outside Emma paces nervously inside of the house as Henry watches on. He chuckles, “Ma calm down.”

She gives him a look, “How can I calm down? I sent your Mom flowers. What if she throws them back in my face? What if it was too much? Oh crap I bet it was too much.”

“Ma it wasn’t too much. It was a start and Mom will see that. Seriously you need to calm down. They were flowers and Mom will like them. At the end of the day if you truly want to fight for her and show her that you’re going to treat her right then you need to do little things like this to show her you do love her. It’s not a grand gesture but it’s the least you can do Ma.”

She smiles, “Yeah let’s just hope it works.” After seeing Regina at the restaurant last night she headed straight to the florist. If Regina is going to be exploring other options then Emma needs to make sure Regina knows she’s still out there waiting. She needs to make sure she still has a chance. She just hopes Regina appreciated them.

“Hey Ma, I think my Dad’s here,” Henry says and Emma frowns before looking at the clock.  _Oh crap_  she thinks before she runs to the door. She pulls it open facing both Neal and Regina.

_Thanks for reading :)_


	16. Chapter Sixteen

_Thank you to the response for the last chapter. Apologies for any mistakes. Hope you enjoy this part :)_

Emma pulls the door open and finds both Neal and Regina standing there. She had completely forgotten Henry's father was coming today. She internally curses her lack of organisation skills for letting this happen. She knows that of all the people in Storybrooke, Neal, is one of the worst for Regina to run into now. Sadly Storybrooke has a lot of people Regina would rather not run into and both she and Emma are all too aware of that. It's a fact that frightens Emma when she thinks about the decision Regina needs to make in three weeks.

She wants Regina to stay but will the other woman want to stay in a town full of reminders of her past? Emma knows that were she in Regina's position she would run but then she remembers that neither of them are running anymore. At least she hopes they aren't. Emma certainly doesn't want to. She wants to stand and fight for the woman she loves and hope with all her might that Regina decides staying is what is best for her and Lila.

"Hey Dad," Henry says as he looks between the three adults now just awkwardly staring at each other. He can feel the tension thick in the air and so instead chooses to kneel down in front of his baby sister.

"Hey Lila Bug," he says with a friendly smile. Normally it takes a few minutes for Lila to break away from Regina and greet him. Today with all the tension between the adults she stays wrapped around her mother's legs unsure of what to do. She tugs on their mother's sleeve until Regina looks away from Neal and Emma and down at her baby girl. Regina quickly picks Lila up scooping her up into her arms.

"It's okay Boo Bear," Regina says reassuringly. It isn't. She never expected to see Neal again. She wasn't even sure if he was still in Storybrooke or not. She assumes he stayed for Henry. She hopes that's the only connection he and Emma share. Regina can count on one hand the few times she was actually in the same room as Neal. All of those memories are painful ones. All of those dinners and occasions are ones when Emma let her mother steamroll her. They're memories of not being fought for.

She steps away from him. Sooner or later she knows they will cross paths again due to Henry. She is not in the business of keeping him from any of his parents or making him choose a side in all of this. He deserves to have all three of them in his life and Regina knows that to be fair to him she will have to deal with her issues regarding her son's birth father. It's not just about Henry though. Regina knows that if she is ever going to move forward, with or without Emma, then she needs to look at her old jealousy issues.

Neal clears his throat awkwardly before deciding that it would be best to leave. He doesn't know all the reasons why Regina left but he knows Snow's meddling and her attempts to bring Emma and himself closer played a part. He never wanted to be the person who breaks up a relationship. After finding out he had a son he never wanted to be the reason or part of the reason for his child's disappointment. When Regina left he couldn't help but feel partially guilty and like he had done both of those things.

Over the years he and Henry have grown closer but it's been difficult. His son has felt Regina's absence and he has seen how Henry felt guilty for pushing her away and for trying to get himself and Emma together. Sometimes it doesn't matter how many reassurances there are that's it not your fault – it doesn't stop you from blaming yourself. Now Regina's back Neal doesn't want to be a reason to disrupt any progress his son may make with his mother.

"Hey kid why don't we go over to Granny's. I'll treat you to breakfast."

It doesn't matter that he's already had breakfast. Henry knows that whatever is about to happen or be discussed is something for just his Moms. He hopes Lila doesn't end up in the crossfire of any arguments. He knows what that's like and he doesn't want the same fate for her. He waves a goodbye to the toddler who offers him a smile in return. He smiles back knowing it's the best he'll get today.

"Bye Moms. Bye Lila," he says waving at them all.

"Have a good day Henry," Regina replies with a smile, "I'll see you tomorrow?"

He nods, "Yeah. I'll see ya after school. See you later Ma."

"Bye Henry," Emma says with a small and nervous smile. "Neal."

"Emma," he replies with a nod before walking away. There is nothing between them. There hasn't been since the moment he walked away and left her. They will always have been each other's first loves but there's nothing there now. Neal knows Emma would never want to be with him after how he betrayed her and he has long since accepted that they missed their chance. He screwed it up and lost her. When he met Emma again he knew it was too late and that she had found love and happiness. He watched her blow it. Unlike him when she came face to face with her true love again she had a chance. He hopes she doesn't waste it.

Once they go Emma turns to Regina and Lila. She hopes Regina still wants to talk though she knows it will not be the talk she hoped for. She was hoping they could just talk again. Not about issues or heavy stuff, just little things. Emma wants the chance to get to know Regina again. Now though she knows that if Regina stays to talk that it will be about Neal.

She wishes she knew what to say here to break the ice.

Luckily for her Lila does it. With a shy smile she takes the flowers from her mother's hand before holding them out to Emma to take. "I got you flowers," Lila says with a proud smile. Emma smiles back as her eyes fill with tears and her heart somersaults in her chest. She has never received a handful of crushed flowers from a child before. She missed that stage with Henry and she had feared she had missed it with Lila. She hasn't and she knows she'll cherish this moment forever.

"Thank you so much Lila. They're beautiful."

Lila smiles back as she burrows into her mother's chest. Regina looks down at her daughter, "Okay Lila shall we go in?" she asks. She still wants to talk to Emma. She just knows it won't be whatever Emma intended their conversation to be.

She wants to stick around first for her daughter. Lila takes a while to settle with Emma and Regina knows that with all the tension in the past few minutes that the young girl will need her for longer. Her second reason is for herself. She wanted to talk to Emma and hear what she had to say earlier. She doesn't want them to keep going one step forward then two steps back. Regina wants them to tackle this head on.

It's an issue they've been avoiding but she knew they couldn't keep doing so for much longer. Now is a chance for her to get an answer to one of the questions she has feared asking.

* * *

Regina sets Lila down on the rug in front of the television as Emma moves over to her kitchen island to prepare hot chocolate. It's a moment of domesticity the blonde has imagined many times just not in this context. She has dreamed about them coming home as a family after a long day out together and then relaxing on the couch with hot chocolates and movies. It's one of the many little hopeful visions she has of their future – now she just needs them to come true.

Today this moment is a chance to get closer to that future and Emma knows she must use it wisely. She must cherish the moments she gets with Regina and Lila and hope there will be more to come. Emma leaves the kettle boiling before walking over to her daughter and the woman she loves. She's put the flowers Lila gave her in a small cup to keep them safe. She kneels down on the carpet next to Lila and Regina before smiling at their little girl.

"What do you wanna watch Lila?"

"Pwincess 'Fia," Lila replies with an excited smile, "Mommy does Emma have Pwincess 'Fia?"

"I'm sure she does," Regina says as Emma looks on confusedly. "It's Sofia The First. It's her favourite cartoon."

Emma nods sadly. It's the kind of thing she should know but is only just learning. These are the little details she has missed and she doesn't want to miss anything else. She flicks her TV on before finding an episode. As she does Lila's face lights up and she immediately stands before bouncing around the room and singing along to the theme song. Emma can't help but smile at her daughter's adorableness. "She really loves this show."

"She does," Regina replies with a smile that matches Emma's own. These are the types of moment Regina wishes they had always had. When they were still together she used to imagine them raising their daughter and enjoying lazy family days. She wishes they had had the chance to do so before and wonders if they will get their chance now. Her heart still holds out hope for it to happen. She just needs more time first. Regina needs them both to sort out their issues and decide if they can have a happy ending together. Right now Regina still has her doubts and fears and whilst she doubts they will leave her completely she has three weeks to figure out if Storybrooke is where she wants to be and if Emma is who she wants to be with. She knows what her heart wants. Now her head just needs to catch up.

That process has started and will continue with communication. For Regina she needs these three weeks to spend time with Emma and open herself up to the possibility of getting back together. She also needs to know that Emma is in this 100%. Regina had believed Emma was before only for it to fall to pieces. Now she needs to make sure they won't fall apart again – she's not sure her heart could take losing Emma a second time.

"So you wanted to talk?" Regina asks.

Emma nods, "I did."

"What about?" Ordinarily their conversations now are about specific issues. If not the moments they speak are just quick exchanges as they pass over their kids. Regina has missed just talking to Emma. Not about anything big, just talking. It was one of the things she loved about Emma, that no matter what small thing she was going on about Emma would always listen. It was one of the things that made her feel cared about.

Emma shrugs, "I don't know. I just wanted to talk to you I guess. Here's the thing Regina, all we ever talk about now is really big heavy stuff and I know we need to so we can start over in a better and healthier way. I know all that stuff is important because it will help us get the happy ending we both want but at the same time I miss just having you around to talk to. I used to love coming home to you and telling you little things about my day and I just want to get to know you again. We've each missed three years. I want to know that Sofia the First is Lila's favourite show. I want to know if your favourite colours are still blue, purple and black. I want to know if you still love lilies and if you still watch Disney movies to cheer yourself up. I want to know if you still watch storms and look out for rainbows. I want to know what you and our daughter have been up to for the past three years. I just want to know you again."

Regina smiles, "I want that too. I'm sick of feeling like a stranger yet knowing you at the same time. I feel like all I know of you is the past but not who you are now and I want to know who you are now and if you are someone I want to have a happy ending with. I want us to talk again but before we do I need to know something."

Emma nods, "Anything."

"You and Neal, did anything happen?"

Emma sighs, "It was just after my parents got back from the Enchanted Forest. My mom was really bummed out about failing to rebuild life over there and she was still disappointed that I had chosen to leave them and come back. Every damn day I saw her I would feel like I wasn't enough and she was still going on about me and Neal so I agreed to a date in the hopes it would make her happy."

Regina sighs sadly. She never wanted that for Emma. She knows what it's like to be forced into a relationship by a parent and it's not a fate she would wish on anyone. "I'm sorry Emma. She shouldn't have made you feel like that."

"And I shouldn't have agreed to the date based on what she wanted. I've done a lot of things based on what others wanted but this time around I'm going to fight for what I want. I don't want to lose you again and if you'll have me I will do everything I can to show you that you are what I want. Anyway I agreed to a date and it was horrible."

"How so?"

"It just didn't work. It was uncomfortable for both of us because we both knew that neither of us wanted that kind of relationship anymore. Our hearts weren't in it and whilst we were each other's first loves we knew that we couldn't work. We talked on that date and decided we'd rather just be friends and co-parents than force ourselves into trying a relationship and not really being happy. There's nothing romantic between us Regina. There never will be."

Regina nods, "Okay."

"Okay?" Emma asks.

Regina nods again, "Yes. I just wanted to know the truth. I need to learn to trust you again and I believe you when you say you don't want him. In this instance it's not you I don't trust."

"It's Neal and Snow?" Emma asks and Regina confirms it with a nod. "Well I can't speak for them but for me, the only person I love and want a future with is you Regina. If you need their word too then you'll have to ask them. I can only speak for me and tell you that I love you and not him."

Regina smiles before nodding, "Okay. Well in that case why don't we talk and I can tell you all about Princess Sofia and our daughter's love of farm animals."

* * *

After spending the morning with Lila and Emma, Regina walks over to the Diner in search of Neal. She can trust that Emma doesn't want him but she needs to know what his intentions are and whether or not she can trust him. Regina needs to be able to trust the people in this town especially those who will be in her life whether or not she likes it. He's her son's father and she knows he will always be around.

Seeing him today brought up old jealousy issues and she knows she needs to try and resolve them if she is to have any hope of starting again with Emma.

This morning was better than she could have hoped for. It was the sort of morning she had wanted three years ago and still wants now. She knows she could have that, that they all could have that, if she stayed and chose to be with Emma again. There's just still more she needs to work through. There's still trust to be earned and gained. In the next three weeks Regina will get the chance to road-test the kind of life she would have if she stayed. Part of that is figuring out where she belongs in Henry's life and where she stands with his parents.

She walks into the Diner and over to where Neal is sitting in a back booth. She smiles politely before sliding in across from him, "I imagine you were surprised when I called you."

"Not really no," he replies.

"You weren't?"

He shakes his head, "I was expecting you to. I know you're attempting to work things out with Emma and as part of that you're talking the past out. I know I must be one of those issues and that bumping into me probably stirred up old doubts. I know why. Snow was pretty damn insistent."

"That she was," Regina replies bitterly. It still irks her that Snow felt Neal was better for Emma than her. She can understand Snow and her have had a tortured history but she has changed. She redeemed herself and worked to be a better person for herself and the ones she loves. And yet she wasn't good enough in Snow's eyes. A perfect stranger who had hurt her daughter however was. She can't help but be annoyed and hurt by that. It angered her then because it was an injustice to herself and to Emma. It annoys her now to find that three years later having witnessed Emma and Henry's pain that Snow still won't accept it. As a mother she cannot understand that. As someone who loves Emma she can't understand it either.

He cradles his coffee mug in his hands, "It was never my intention to break you two up. I knew Henry wanted Emma and I to get together. It was obvious Snow did too but it didn't mean I wanted it. All I wanted was to get to know the son I never knew I had."

"I know," Regina says, "I didn't blame you Neal. I know you probably think I do but I don't. They found you and brought you back. You never made a move on Emma. It was Snow and Henry who tried to push you and Emma together. Henry, though it hurt, I understood, he had some sort of fantasy of the two of you together and the family he had dreamed of. At the time I was not what he wanted. I'll admit I resented you. I resented you because everyone chose you. I was trying so damn hard and yet they still wanted you over me. That wasn't your fault though and I can't blame you. I just need to know where you stand with her now."

"You need to know if you can trust me."

"Yes."

"Well I know we don't know each other very well but hopefully you'll believe me when I say you can. Emma and I had one awful awkward date wherein we knew we were better off as friends. She's the first women I fell in love and she's the mother of my son but I am not her true love. You are. I've seen her over the last three years and I saw something I know all too well – regret. When I let Emma go I regretted it so much because I knew I had let go of something truly amazing in my life. I hurt the person I love and I will never forgive myself for that. When I met her again though she had found love and happiness and I would never take that away from her. Emma has a chance, or at least I think she does, to find Tallahassee with you. I won't stand in your way Regina. Work out what you want. Make her happy if you can. As someone who let Emma go I can tell you it was the worst decision of my life and that if you want her don't let her go. Give her the happy ending she and you deserves."

"I'll do my best," Regina promises.

"Good," he says, "Now you're the other mother of my son and I know next to nothing about you which is just dumb to me. Henry's at the arcade. Wanna join us?"

Regina smiles, "Lila's with Emma this afternoon and Ruby's managing the Diner so I have time to kick your butt at Space Paranoids."

* * *

Emma smiles as Lila chatters on beside her. They're taking a trip to the park and Emma is soaking in every word that spills from her toddler's mouth. She has never had a chance to enjoy the free and easy talk of young children. She's glad she's getting an insight into the inquisitive, innocent and fun words that are aimed at her.

"Miss Emma what's dat?" Lila asks pointing to the clock-tower.

"That's our library."

"What's a libwawy?"

"A place where they keep books," Emma explains and Lila's eyes light up. "Books?!"

"Yeah," Emma replies and Lila bounces excitedly, "Show me!"

Emma grins before nodding. Clearly her daughter loves to read as much as her son and Regina do. She takes Lila's hand ready to cross the road when she spots her mother barrelling down the street towards her. Emma's protective instincts kick in and she sweeps Lila up into her arms keeping her shielded from Snow. She won't let her mother snatch her child away.

"Emma," Snow greets, "Lila."

"You don't talk to her," Emma says tersely, "Not after what you did."

"I understand," Snow replies with a tight frown, "I saw Henry with Neal today."

Emma sighs resisting the urge to roll her eyes. Her mother starts up every time Henry has a visit with his father. She just doesn't get it. "Mom not this again."

"Why not? You three could be a family and you could get Lila too."

Emma frowns at her stepping away, "But I don't want that Mom. Lila is Regina's daughter too as Henry is her son. I am not taking my children away from any of their parents. As I have told you many many times before Mom I don't want Neal. He and I are friends and co-parents. Nothing else. You need to start accepting me and my happiness or you will lose me and Henry. I want to be with Regina. I want to be a family with her and now if you will excuse us I am going to show my daughter the library. Don't follow us. Come on Lila bug."

She walks across the road with Lila secure in her arms. "Miss Emma," Lila says quietly, "That lady won't get me again will she?"

"No," Emma promises, "I will never let anyone hurt you."

* * *

Emma wrings her hands together nervously as she waits for Regina to come get Lila. She’s been thinking over her question all day and she has to ask. Emma meant it when she said she wanted to get to know Regina again and she thinks they need time without the kids or a therapist. She just hopes Regina agrees.

She thinks she may actually be more nervous than the first time she invited Regina on a date. That time she didn’t really properly ask her. They were lying together in bed one afternoon and she suggested meeting for lunch the next day. Then like that they were dating.

This time round Emma wants it to be different. She wants to go slow and take Regina out for romantic dinners and dates. She wants to do the discovery stage and the romancing stage and treat Regina the way she deserves. Emma has never really dated properly and she knows Regina hasn’t either.

The doorbell rings and Emma feels panic rising in her chest. What if she says no? She’ll understand if Regina does. It’s sudden and it might be too soon but she has to try. Emma doesn’t want to lose Regina and she knows she has to fight for the woman she loves and that means giving Regina the relationship stages she should experience.

She picks up the sleeping Lila and the bag full of her stuff before walking over to the door. Emma takes a few deep breaths for courage before she pulls the door open. She smiles at Regina. “Hey.”

“Hey,” Regina replies, “How was she?”

“Awesome,” Emma says, “I showed her the library.”

“I bet she loved that. Lila loves her books.”

“Just like Henry.”

“Yep who I totally beat at Space Paranoids,” Regina boasts and Emma grins, “I know. He called me earlier. He said you thrashed Neal too.”

“I did.”

“So you spent the afternoon with Neal?”

Regina nods, “I did. I’ve never really spent much time with him before and he’s a part of our son’s life. I talked to him and I know nothing will happen between you and him and so in the interest of figuring out what kind of life I would have here if I chose to stay I decided it was time for me to get to know our son’s other parent.”

“That’s good. So what did you think?”

“He sucks at video games,” Regina replies, “But he seems like a good father and I can tell Henry likes him.”

“He does. It took some time but they got there.”

“I’m glad,” Regina says as Emma hands Lila over. “So therapy tomorrow?”

Emma nods, “Before you go I need to ask you something.”

“Sure.”

Emma looks into Regina’s eyes before summoning her courage, “Will you let me take you out on a date?” 

_Thanks for reading :)_


	17. Chapter Seventeen

_Hope you all enjoy this part :)_

Regina blinks at the question too stunned to answer at first. Truth be told she hadn't expected Emma to ask her that. Even when they were together they rarely went on dates and towards the end Emma never took the time to do so. In the last few months of their relationship when Regina proposed dates Emma was either busy or just didn't show up. The pain of rejection still lingers in her heart and whilst she knows that Emma would never stand her up now it's not an easy question for her to answer.

The blind date she went on was a disaster thanks to her past. The ones in Boston were because she had no closure. Now though she and Emma are reaching some point of closure over their failed relationship in the past. She knows the reasons why it fell apart and so does Emma know. Coming to Storybrooke allowed Regina to take that step and finally move on. The question is whether or not she moves on with Emma.

It's something she's been mulling over for weeks now and she's still unsure.

As much as she'd like to pretend there wasn't they have a lot of history. Even with closure and therapy and understanding that past is still there and Regina can't help but wonder of history will be doomed to repeat itself. She doesn't want it to.

She's aware that if they started again it would not be easy. There would still be a lot of therapy and discussion. She would need Emma to be in 100%. Regina needs to feel confident that Emma will stand by her this time and whilst Emma has stood up for her against her mother it's not enough to convince her. Regina doesn't know what will.

Regina chews her lip as Emma watches on nervously. She can't help but wonder if she asked too soon but after seeing Regina out with Tink she didn't want to miss her chance. Emma needs Regina to know that she loves her and that this time she will treat her the way she deserves. She understands now what Regina needs from her. She needs Emma to be there, to actually be there. Three years ago she let Regina slip away from her and she's regretted it ever since. Emma can't just sit back and let it happen again.

She knows now that you cannot take true love for granted because it is not a guarantee for a good relationship. True love or not you still need to work at it and show the other person that you care. Emma failed to do that a few years ago but she won't this time around.

She also knows she will try anything to let Regina know that.

Regina however still isn't sure she's ready to date Emma. That word comes with a lot of pressure and expectation in her mind. Right now she wants to get to know Emma again. She wants to find out how Emma has been over the past three years and what she's done and whilst she gets snippets of that in therapy it would be nice to find out the good things. In therapy she learns about the heartache and the pain and Regina wants to know the good. She wants to know how Henry grew up and how they got their house and whether or not Emma still loves hot cocoa even in the summer because it reminds her of Christmas.

The problem is that whilst a date is a good way to do that, a date is a big step romantically. That may come eventually but Regina would rather get to know Emma in a more casual setting first without the implications and pressure the word 'date' puts upon it.

Maybe it's just because she has a bad experience with dates but Regina loathes that word. Her associations with dates are filled with misery, awkwardness and in the end loneliness. She can remember a few wonderful dates with Emma but unfortunately they are too few amongst a sea of bad.

"By date what are you proposing?" Regina asks.

"Well I was going to have it be a surprise but it would boil down to you and me spending the evening together and getting to know each other again," Emma says. She pauses looking in Regina's eyes. She can see the uncertainty there and nods in realisation, "It's the word date isn't it?" At Regina's nod she adds, "Well what if we don't call it that?"

"What do we call it then?"

"We don't have to call it anything. No pressure. No expectations. If you want we can spend an evening as a family together first and then try just you and me. I just want to get to know you again Regina. I missed three years of Lila but I also missed three years if you and I want to know you. I saw you last night with Tink."

"Oh?" Regina asks noting the small flare of jealousy in blue eyes with a smile that she cannot help nor hide.

"And it made me realise that I need to get my ass in gear. You're an incredible person Regina and let's face it anyone would be lucky to go out with you."

Regina snorts, "I think you're in the minority on that opinion given how my date went."

"Not good?"

"Let's just say Tink and I have a complicated history."

Jealousy flares in Emma again, "What kind of history?"

"She blames me for ruining her life."

"Not the best way to start a date," Emma jokes trying to lighten the mood. Thankfully Regina chuckles, "No it wasn't."

"Anyway I saw you at the table looking amazingly, breath-takingly beautiful as you do and well I want to be that person across the table from you. I should have been three years ago but I messed it up. I was an idiot. Now though well I still have my moments but I'm nowhere near stupid enough to let you go twice. I love you Regina and this time around I'm going to show you it. I took you for granted three years ago and it was one of the worst things I've ever done. I know now that if you love someone then you need to treat them like it, show them you care, cherish them and most importantly be there when they need you. I don't care if we call it a date or not. I just want to spend time with you."

Regina smiles at Emma's words. She hopes for them to be true. Her heart flutters in her chest and in spite of the doubts that still linger in her mind she knows she cannot let her past and her fears hold her back. "Okay," she says, "Not a date though. I want to get to know you two Emma and whilst I do love you let's just hang out as friends and co-parents first. There's a fair Friday night. Maybe we could go with the kids?"

Emma smiles. She was fearing a flat out no. It's not a date but it's still a chance. She still gets to spend the night with Regina as well as their children and for Emma that is more than she was expecting. Her heart hums happily in her chest at the prospect of a night with her family. "I'd love that," she says already looking forward to Friday night.

* * *

Emma throws a jacket down on the bed before huffing in frustration. It may not technically be a date but for Emma it still feels like it. She's been looking forward to tonight all week and she can't help but be excited. Tonight they all get to spend the night as a family and this time Emma won't screw it up. She just needs to remind herself to stay in the present. On that day in the park she lost herself to nostalgia and made a sudden move that set them both back.

Now she knows better. They're moving forward not into the past. Tonight is about spending time together and getting used to being around each other again. It's about finding out who they are now and where they go from here.

She wants tonight to go well. She wants to know that they can do this and be together in the future. She needs to know if there's a chance and date or not tonight is a step towards seeing if they can. So Emma wants to look her best. She takes a deep breath reminding herself to try and calm down, relax and just enjoy a night out with the people she loves.

No pressure she told Regina. Now she just needs to believe that herself.

"I thought this wasn't a date?" Henry asks he leans into the doorway with a laugh. Emma rolls her eyes before tossing a balled up sweater at him, "I'll remember that next time you "hang out" with Paige and spend thirty minutes deciding on a shirt."

"Shut up," Henry grumbles throwing the sweater back, "You realise we're just going to the fair right?" he asks pointing to a little black dress thrown onto the bed.

"Which is why I scrapped the dress idea. This isn't even a date, why am I so damn nervous?"

"Because you want to impress Mom which I guess is good right? Though Mom never really cared if you dressed up or not."

"She didn't?" Emma asks.

Henry shakes his head, "Of course not. I may have had my head rammed in my fairytale book and been obsessed with the curse but even I saw that all Mom wanted from you was just for you to be there. It didn't matter if you were exhausted or grumpy or in your pyjamas. She just wanted you there."

"Hopefully she still feels the same way," Emma replies. She knows that all Regina ever wanted was to feel loved and happy and safe with someone. She had been that person before the curse break but she let it fall apart. She won't do it this time. She'll be there. Now she understands her priorities and where she let herself and what she wanted slip. Emma won't do it again.

"We'll see," Henry says, "She agreed to come tonight right?"

Emma nods, "As a family. She's right though. We're not ready for dates yet I think. We need to get to know each other again and spend time together and figure out exactly where we're going."

Henry smiles, "I hope things go well today. I really like having Mom back and Lila's pretty cute too."

Emma smiles, "She is. How does it feel having a sister?"

Henry shrugs, "It was odd at first but I've spent time with her and she's a good kid. I guess it just took getting used to but it's nice. When I was younger I always wanted a sibling and I never understood why I couldn't have one. Then Mom told me I was adopted and I found the book and I forgot all about it. When the curse broke I was so happy because I finally had a big family. I let myself forget about her and I pretended I didn't need her. I wish I'd realised I did sooner."

"Me too kid," Emma replies sadly, "We're lucky she came back."

"Do you ever wonder what would have happened if she hadn't?" Henry asks.

"Sometimes," Emma says, "I know I'm overjoyed she did because if she hadn't none of us would get a second chance. She came back Henry and now we can show her that we love her and hope to hell she wants to stay."

"What will you do if she doesn't?"

"Keep fighting. For her. For Lila. For all of us. When your Mom left I wasted a lot of time before I searched for her and when I finally did I couldn't find her. Now I know where she is and even if she does leave it doesn't mean I'm going to give up Henry. I love her Henry. I want us to be a family and if that means traveling to Boston every week then I'll do it and whatever you want to do is up to you."

"I'd come with you of course though after having Mom back I'm not sure how I'd feel not seeing her every couple of days."

"I know Henry but we'll do what we have to okay? You don't have to lose your Mom again I promise."

He nods, "I know. I won't let myself either. When I was a kid all I wanted was a big family and now I've got one. Mom's a part of that and I don't want to lose her."

Emma nods again, "You won't whether she stays or goes, you will always be in her heart like she'll be in yours. We'll visit her all the time and make sure we still see each other as a family. We'll make it work kid I promise. For now let's just enjoy tonight."

"Well you'll have to pick something to wear first," Henry replies with a cheeky grin.

* * *

Lila dances at Regina's feet in the mirror. The tot giggles at her reflection pointing at it and pulling faces. Regina can't help but laugh at her daughter's actions. She sweeps Lila up into her arms, "You are a cheeky monkey aren't you Lila-bear?"

"No I not," Lila replies indignantly, "I a Lila bear! Grrrr!"

Regina chuckles, "Of course you are Boo Bear. Mommy's just being a silly Mommy."

"Silly Mommy," Lila repeats tapping her mother on the nose with a bright smile. Lila pulls her tongue out before checking it in the mirror with a small laugh, "Mommy are Henwy and Emma coming to the fair?"

"Yes they are," Regina replies with a small smile. She can feel butterflies in her stomach even though they made it clear it wasn't a date. It's still a big first step and Regina can't help but think about their last family outing when Emma kissed her. It was an amazing kiss but at the same time it was awful timing. Neither of them were ready. She wonders if there'll be another kiss at another point in the future if they decide to go further. Her heart longs to be with Emma but tonight is not about that. Tonight is about being together as a family and re-establishing their connection with each other. She chews her lip before looking at her daughter, "Do you like Henry and Emma?"

Lila smiles, "They nice."

"They can be," Regina replies. She needs to figure out what is best for Lila and herself and it includes whether or not Lila would like to stay. She knows she's the mother here but she also wants to know how Lila feels about Emma and Henry. "How do you see them?"

Lila frowns at her in confusion, "I see them at the fair?"

Regina smiles, "No sorry but do you like seeing them?"

Lila nods, "Henwy is my brother?" she questions.

Regina nods, "And Emma is….?"

"Henwy's Mommy?"

"And yours."

"She is?" Lila asks, "How many Mommies do I have?"

"Two. Me and Emma."

Lila grins, "Yay. I like Emma and I love you."

"I love you too Lila Bug. How would you feel if we stayed here longer?"

"With Aunty Ruby?" Lila asks.

"Yes with Aunty Ruby."

"That would be the bestest thing ever!" Lila exclaims before she frowns, "What about our house?"

"Mommy would figure out what to do about that sweetheart."

"Oh," Lila says, "Are we moving?"

"I don't know yet Lila," Regina replies, "I think we'll see how the fair goes first okay?"

"What is a fair?" Lila asks, "Is it like in Fox and the Hound 2?"

Regina nods, "Sort of except no singing dogs."

"Awww."

"Sorry Lila but there'll be lots of lights and games and fun things to do and we get to spend the night with Emma and Henry and have lots and lots of fun."

"Can we go now?!" Lila asks excitedly.

Regina chuckles, "I need to get changed first."

"But you alweady dwessed," Lila points out.

"I wore these clothes to work but I'm wearing something else tonight. Why don't you go draw with Aunty Ruby while I get ready?"

"Okay!" Lila agrees kicking to get down before fleeing the room. As she does Ruby pokes her head round the door. She sighs. "How the hell are you not ready? We're supposed to leave in ten minutes so you can meet Emma for your 'not a date' date."

"It's not a date," Regina replies insistently.

Ruby rolls her eyes, "Of course not."

"It really isn't. We're going with the kids. We're just going to try and get to know each other again before we decide whether or not we're going to have a future together."

Ruby gives her a look, "Right. I know you don't like the word date Regina but this is like a 'pre-date' or something. Do you want this?"

"Want what?" Regina asks.

"A relationship with Emma. You keep yo-yoing back and forth between whether or not you do and you need to decide Regina. I know you need time and all but if you aren't then you're just going to give Emma, Henry and Lila false hope. If you are then you need to commit to it."

"I know that Ruby," Regina replies, "I know. I'm just still not sure. I love Emma I do but I need to know that if we do this she'll be there. Last time Emma I loved her with my whole heart and yet she wasn't. I don't want it to happen again Ruby."

"I know," Ruby says, "But if you keep thinking like that then you'll never let anything happen. You need to relax and enjoy yourself. If you do then it either means something or it doesn't but it's up to you. Either way you need to figure out what you want if for no-one else for you."

Regina nods as Ruby leaves. She knows Ruby's right. Part of her knows she needs to work out exactly what she wants and stop letting the past affect her. She wishes it were that easy. More often and not when she thinks of starting something new with Emma she can't help but think of the past. It's why she didn't want this to be a date. She wanted to keep avoiding this choice but she knows she will have to make it.

For tonight she can enjoy a night with her family and see how that feels.

* * *

Regina smiles as they wander around the fair together. The night has been wonderful. Nothing uncomfortable or awkward. There's been the requisite few rides that Henry demanded on going on and the various stalls wherein Emma tried to win Lila a stuffed panda. She managed to get a small toy bear which Lila was more than thrilled with so win-win. The walk around the funfair has been peppered with conversation and questions and unlike the tenseness that comes with a date this felt natural.

Walking around with Lila in her arms and beside Henry and Emma she felt ease. She finally let herself relax and be in the present moment rather than fear that something would screw it up. So far nothing has. Instead there's been a fluttering in her heart and she has a feeling which way her decision is going to go.

Regina looks over at Emma who currently has Lila sitting on her shoulders and smiles fondly. In spite of all that happened Emma has always been in her heart and she still is. If they do commit to going forward Regina knows it will be hard work and that there's still a lot to figure out. Right now, however, is good. She feels like part of a family and as she stands there watching Lila and Emma joke around as they wait for cotton candy she can't help but grin and wonder what could be.

She doesn't want to take Lila away from this and she's not so sure she wants to take herself away either. Three years ago she knew he had to get away but now after starting to work things through she thinks they could have something. She just needs to know something first. She needs to know that Emma will commit to her and not leave her again. Regina knows that if she stays that she won't go again but in spite of their 'no running' discussion and the various declarations about her intentions she's still needs more to convince her heart that Emma will stay.

Being here with her at the fair though feels natural and easy and right and it reminds her of what they once were and could have been and what she still hopes they could be again. They just need to get there. She needs to get there.

She shakes her head for a moment to clear her brain of these thoughts. She wants to stay here in the present and not over-analyse. Regina's here to be with her family and spend some more time with Emma and that's what she'll do.

She shakes her head for a moment to clear her brain of these thoughts. She wants to stay here in the present and not over-analyse. Regina's here to be with her family and spend some more time with Emma and that's what she'll do.

"Mommy we got you something," Lila says happily as she hides hand behind her back. Emma grins at her and Regina smiles back giving her a sly wink before looking up at her daughter, "What is it? An elephant? A ferris wheel?"

Lila laughs, "Silly silly Mommy. We got you a…." she looks to Emma who finishes, "Cotton candy."

"Emma you didn't."

"Do you still like to pretend you don't like cotton candy?" Emma asks.

Regina smiles at her before taking the stick and pulling a piece off before sticking it in her mouth. She chews it exaggeratedly before grinning at the pair, "I am a cotton candy monster," she tells Lila who squeals and laughs before yawning.

"Uh-oh, yawn alert," Emma says bringing Lila down from her shoulders to sit in her arms, "Does that mean our nights is over?" she asks trying to hide her disappointment. She doesn't want this night to end. She's loved every minute of it. She's had the opportunity to play and bond with Lila. She's ridden rides with Henry.

The thing that makes her heart soar though is Regina. She got to spend the night with Regina and it's been fun. Incredible fun. This fair has reminded her how wonderful Regina is when she's relaxed and easy-going. She loves Regina and she definitely absolutely adores relaxed and at ease Regina. Being with the brunette tonight hasn't been full of angst or tension like it has been at therapy. Instead they actually got to enjoy being with each other and Emma knows she wants to do this again. She hopes Regina does too.

It's a turning point and Regina knows it. She can say yes and go home with Lila and tonight will have just been about family. Or she can say no and let Ruby take Lila so can keep this evening going and spend some alone time with Emma. She lets her heart decide. She smiles up at Emma, "It doesn't have to."

* * *

Henry chooses to go back with Lila and Ruby so he can spend some time with his little sister and leave his mothers alone. After saying goodnight, ten times, and saying goodbye Ruby drives away leaving the two ladies alone at the fair.

Emma smiles nervously as she looks at Regina's face aglow with the lights of the funfair.  _Beautiful as always_. "So," Emma begins, "What is this now?"

Regina smiles at her, "It's a step forward."

"Is it still not a date?" Emma asks curiously.

Regina chews her lip before answering, "I think this now can be a date. No pressure right?"

"No pressure," Emma replies, "However you want to take this okay?"

Regina nods, "Okay, so what are we doing on this date?" she asks. She wasn't going to call it a date but she wants to now. She wants to give it a try and see what happens. She lets her heart take the lead tonight and hopes it won't backfire.

Emma smiles before looking around the funfair. There's always been one thing she loves about funfairs and she never got a chance to share it with Regina. Now she does. "Ferris wheel?"

Regina nods and they walk over to it. As they do they subconsciously slide closer to each other until their hands are brushing. A shiver runs down Emma's spine as their fingers ghost against each other and it reminds her of falling in love a few years ago. She hopes she hides the way her breath hitches. She doesn't want to fall too fast this time and hurtle into a relationship. They need this to go slow and they will. Both women know this.

Emma bumps her shoulder against Regina's. She knows when she needs to lighten the mood and ease the tension, "So are you scared of the Big Wheel?"

Regina scoffs, "Scared? Me? Never Emma."

Emma laughs, "What if it gets stuck?"

"Please. I bet I could last it out longer than you. My room in the palace was up higher than that."

"I've lived in apartments higher than that. Come on Miss Mills. Time to put your money where your mouth is."

"Oh yeah? What do I win if you get scared first?"

"First? So you admit you're going to get scared?"

"I'll admit no such thing," Regina insists with a smile as they step into their seat.

"Alright," Emma grins, "If you win you get the joy of being right."

"And story-telling and embellishing privileges?"

"Not too many embellishments though."

"I was thinking something about screaming for help."

"You won't get me to scream Regina."

"I believe I did in the past," Regina replies without thinking about it. She blushes before turning to a shocked Emma. "Sorry that was inappropriate," she says and then Emma laughs. The laughter overtakes their pod until they're both chuckling away at each other. Finally they recover and Emma looks at Regina, "Don't be sorry. I was just surprised and it was funny. I forgot how funny you are."

"This is nice though isn't it?" Regina asks, "Just this. No therapy. No past. I mean I know we need it but I like this."

"Me too," Emma says with a smile.

This time when their hands touch neither one lets go.

* * *

Snow scowls as she wanders around the funfair. She came because Charming wanted to come and because she is still a part of this town. She wanted to enjoy herself tonight but she couldn’t. She couldn’t because she had seen Emma, Regina, Lila and Henry together.

It made her blood boil like it did three years ago. Emma playing family with the Evil Queen. People tell her Regina’s changed. Part of her knows Regina has but she won’t admit it. She doesn’t want Emma with her. Emma should be with her family. So should Henry. And Lila too. She doesn’t understand why no-one else can see it.

She hates the fact that Regina has wormed her way back into Emma’s heart and she needs to make it stop. She wants her family back.

“For god’s sake Snow will you at least look like you’re trying to have a good time?” Charming asks rubbing his temple in frustration. All his wife has done is shoot daggers at Regina and he’s sick of it. He wishes she would see what she is doing to their daughter and how she is driving Emma away. He wonders what it will take to make Snow see that.

Snow sighs, “Fine,” she says before looking up at the Ferris Wheel. She gasps as she sees one pod. Inside it are Emma and Regina. No kids. Just them. She can connect the dots there and she cannot let this happen again. On one level she could understand Emma letting Henry and Lila spend supervised time with Regina but she can see from the looks on their faces that what’s going on is not that.

Her daughter wants Regina back and Snow will not let that happen. Not again. She got rid of Regina once after all. 

_Thanks for reading :)_


	18. Chapter Eighteen

_Thank you for the feedback for the last chapter. I don't own Once or its characters. Thank you to DefendMyGirlsHonor for the prompt. Apologies for any mistakes and I hope you like this part :)_

Emma grins as she walks into therapy the following day. She hasn't been able to keep the smile off her face after last night. She enjoyed every minute of the funfair because she was with the woman she loves and her family. When their kids went home she got to spend time with Regina, just them and it went better than she could have dreamed of. True, all they did was hold hands on the Ferris wheel but all Emma wanted was to be with Regina and enjoy a moment without pain and tension. She thinks they both got that moment and for Emma it was a monumental step in their growing relationship.

She doesn't want to rush things with Regina. She wants to get to know her again and stand by her and take her on dates and do all the things she should have done before. Most of all she wants Regina to know that she is loved and cared for because as far as Emma's concerned her biggest failing was that she didn't let Regina know that three years ago.

When their hands brushed on the Ferris wheel Emma felt certain that Regina would pull away especially after the kiss incident a few weeks before. She didn't. Instead Regina's hand sought hers out. From then on Emma barely focussed on the height or the incredible sight of the fair and Storybrooke at night. All she could focus on was that thrilling spark dancing between their fingertips and Regina's beautiful face lit up with happiness.

She wants to see more of that.

Yes, Emma does miss the physical aspects of their relationship. Sex with Regina was always wonderful and no matter what Regina will be the best person she's ever slept with. With Regina it was hot and passionate but she also felt cherished and special. She misses touching Regina and not fearing that she was stepping over the line. She misses the feeling she has when they kiss – a feeling of love and home.

She misses those things but she misses so much more about Regina. She misses everything. She misses the way Regina can smile and make her feel like the only person in the crowd. She misses the light and joyful sound of her laugh. She misses the way a slight blush would creep across Regina's cheeks if she said something she decided was inappropriate. She just misses spending time with Regina and feeling like everything was right with the world.

She wants them both to have that again.

She knows it will take work and time and she's willing to do everything possible to make sure they have that.

Regina walks in slightly after her and smiles at Emma. Last night was incredible for her. She let herself stop second-guessing and getting stuck in the past and instead enjoyed the night. She was still undecided whether or not to go for time alone with Emma but as the night wore on and she saw Emma and Henry and Lila she felt happy and comfortable. It gave her the courage to be alone with Emma.

For the first time since starting therapy there was no awkwardness or angst. She simply got to enjoy spending a few hours with Emma. As far as the physical part of relationship goes they only held hands but for Regina that was enough. For Regina that touch was a great leap. She didn't find herself deliberating for ages as to whether or not to do it. She just did and it reminded her of the way she felt when Emma touched her. It was only a small touch but a lot of her relationship with Emma began with small subtle touches that made her feel cared for.

Last night was not about leaping into romance though. It was about being together and seeing if they could be together in the present rather than the past. The straightforward answer to that is that they could. The funfair was uncomplicated and fun and it reminded her of all the things she missed about Emma. She misses Emma a lot. Most of the things she missed weren't about sex or passion but were more to do with just being with Emma. Even being back in Storybrooke she has missed being with Emma and feeling like she was home.

Last night she got a taste of that again.

She still has a lot to consider about her future. She's still unsure as to whether or not Emma is her future but there's a big part of her that wants her to be. Regina is also aware that if she's going to explore her option that Emma is an option. Her heart longs for Emma but if they're ever going to be together then Regina knows she has to give her a chance. Last night was the start of that chance and as far as Regina's concerned it went better than she could have hoped.

Archie watches the pair share a small smile and notes it with a nod, "So I take it you two enjoyed time as a family?"

Emma smiles, "I did. It was nice to go out the four of us and feel like a family."

"Very nice," Regina replies, "I think it was one of the best days I've had since I came back to Storybrooke."

"So it went well? Were you two able to focus on Lila and Henry and stay in the present?"

Emma nods, "I think so. At least for me I felt last night was such a big step because I didn't think about how much I'd screwed up or angst or anything like that. I just let myself be with Regina and it was wonderful." She smiles as she speaks, "I know the therapy helps Archie but all the same it was nice to spend time with Regina without having to think about the past."

"I agree," Regina replies, "I know we still need the therapy and there's a lot of work and time if we want a relationship going forward, nonetheless I really enjoyed being able to just be with you."

Archie nods before thinking over her words, "So were you not with Lila and Henry?"

"We were to begin with," Regina explains, "But Lila started getting tired so Ruby took her home and Henry went with them."

"Sneaky kid," Emma adds with a grin knowing he did it to give them both time alone together.

"That he is but I'm glad he did. I've been on the fence about dating Emma and giving her a second chance but last night reminded me of how good things can be between us. In therapy I often end up thinking about the bad and it was nice to remember the good and to know that there can still be happiness and love to be found with each other. I'm still not 100% sure and there's a lot to consider but I think last night was a step in the right direction for us."

"I would agree," Archie said, "I wouldn't say either of you are ready to rush headlong into a relationship yet but I'm pleased with the progress you're making. You're both taking steps at the right pace for you and I think it's safe to say you're beginning to get on the same wavelength again. My advice to you both is to carry on as you are. Keep on going out with each other without Henry and Lila and let things progress naturally. Carry on with sessions as well because I think we're laying a good foundation for the pair of you to enter into something healthy no matter what you eventually decide."

* * *

Emma and Regina walk out of therapy together before standing on the street. Therapy as usual was emotional but necessary. With each session both Emma and Regina feel like they're a step closer to finally healing.

Emma shoves her hands in her jean pockets as she rocks on her heels. Back and forth. Back and forth. She does it a few more times before she summons up her courage, "So I know our funfair trip was 'not a date' and I was wondering how you feel about maybe having another 'not a date' date again?"

Regina smiles at the Emma-esque phrasing. She chews her bottom lip as she thinks, another thing Emma has missed so much – Henry does it too and it always reminds Emma of Regina. In the end she smiles up at Emma, "I have another few hours until I have to take over at Granny's and do the books so how about we grab a coffee?"

"Are you sure? Who's got Lila?"

"Henry and your father."

"My father?" Emma asks surprised.

Regina nods, "I know you're surprised but he's changed over the past three years. I trust him more than I ever thought I could trust Charming but he's reached out to me and spent time with Lila and I. Plus I know Henry would never let anything happen to her. I figure if I do choose to stay here I need to start trying to trust people and ultimately he is her grandfather and I know at the very least he would never let harm come to her."

"That's good. That'll make him happy," Emma says with a smile. She's glad that at the very least her father has decided to make an effort to accept Regina as part of his family. "It makes me happy too," she adds.

"Family right?"

"Right," Emma agrees, "So coffee?"

"Coffee," Regina replies. They walk down the street together brushing arms as they go filling their silence with small talk. They ask each other snippets of facts wanting to find out more about who they are now after three years apart. As they walk down the road Regina notices the Bug. She smiles, "Did you ever think about changing the car?"

"My beloved Bug?" Emma scoffs, "No way. I love that car. I know you pretended to hate it."

"Pretended?" Regina asks.

"Please you used to fall asleep in it all the time."

"Probably all the old food fumes," Regina jokes.

"Hey!" Emma protests, "She's a lovely car and she still works."

"She?"

"Shut up. Either way it's an awesome car. Do you still have the Mercedes?"

"No," Regina replies, "The curse kept my car in order but about a month after I left it broke down. I took it to the garage and it was declared doomed."

"So what do you have now? A minivan?"

Regina wrinkles her nose, "I do not need a minivan Emma. I got a newer Mercedes, one with room for a car-seat. It's a wonderful car. I haven't used it much here because I like walking here."

"Still?"

Regina nods, "I like walking. So does Lila. She loves being able to see everything and point it all out. She likes the car and all but when we're walking she sees more."

Emma smiles, "I used to be like that. Whenever I could I would be outside."

"I know," Regina replies, "Do you still go to the beach?"

"Not so much now," Emma says, "Maybe we could go with Lila and Henry? Has she been to the beach before?"

"Not yet," Regina says, "I think she'll love it. We could make it a family day out?"

"I'd like that."

As they approach the Diner neither notice the person watching them from afar or the car heading towards them. It only takes a split second for Emma to look up and see an all too familiar car racing down the road towards them.

She reacts instantly, "Regina!" she shouts moving to pull her out the way. She only just gets her away from being fully hit by the car. As it is Regina yelps and falls to the ground as the car makes impact with her leg. Emma catches her breaking her landing. She sits up quickly before holding Regina close to her. She can see blood running down Regina's leg and pulls her coat off to cover the injured leg. Regina winces in pain as Emma moves to look at it.

"Are you okay?" Regina asks as she forms her hands into fists to keep from crying from the pain.

Emma nods. She's shocked, appalled, upset and most of all relieved that she pulled Regina away in time. She dreads to think what might have happened had she not seen the car. She looks to the driver of the vehicle and fury boils in her blood. There's no remorse there and it sickens her and all she can do is look at her with shame and disgust. She dials for her father because she doesn't trust herself to do this arrest without losing her temper.

She can hear his sharp breath of shock over the phone line as she tells him what happened. Emma thinks she can hear a barely concealed sob before he tells her he'll drop Henry and Lila at the B&B with Ruby before coming over. Her heart aches for him. She can't imagine how it must feel to see someone you love and trust act like this. People always thought she would know having been with the former evil queen but Emma never feared something like this would happen.

She wishes more than anything that her mother would understand what exactly she's doing to her family. She claims she's trying to protect it but all she's doing is tearing it apart and it breaks her heart for her father, herself and Henry.

He arrives quickly. He sees his wife and holds his head in his hands. Emma can tell that he had hoped that it wasn't Snow. She wished the same with the Archie incident. Only her love turned out to be innocent but she lost Regina anyway for that moment of doubt and betrayal that led to so much more. She wonders what her father will do now. They have true love but Emma knows now that that is not always the answer to a happy ending.

He looks away from his wife before turning to Regina and Emma. "Are you okay?" he asks bending down to inspect her leg. Regina nods biting down on her lip though agony runs through her entire leg. Emma shakes her head, "I think her leg is broken."

Charming sighs deeply, sadness wracks his entire frame, as he looks at Regina. He places a comforting hand on her shoulder, "I'm so sorry."

Regina shakes her head, "It wasn't your fault."

"I know but I'm still sorry. Get her to the hospital. I'll deal with Snow. Let me know how you are," he tells Regina before moving towards his wife.

Emma watches him go and lets a tear roll down her cheek. She feels a thumb wipe the tear away and looks down at Regina who offers her a sad smile. "I'm sorry Emma," Regina says softly. Emma shakes her head, "Let's just get you taken care of."

* * *

Snow frowns as her husband guides her to the cell and slams it shut. He walks away from her filling out the paperwork that ensures she will stay there for a long time. He's noticed a change in his wife over the past few years. Or maybe he just noticed that she didn't change as he did. Over the past three years he has grown to realise what their disapproval did to their daughter and grandson. He realised that their happiness was more important to him then holding a grudge over the past.

He's a way from forgiveness when it comes to Regina. There's a lot of bad history there, a lot of pain and misery and regret. What he knows now is that those are on both sides of the story not just his own. Regina's unexpected return gave him a second chance too and he used it to give Regina a chance. He should have done three years ago but was blinded by fresh anger. Three years have given it time to fade. Three years have given him the chance to build a relationship with his daughter and know what will make her happy. For Emma that is Regina and as far as Charming's concerned that makes her family.

Accepting that meant he could see she had changed. He watched her with Lila and Henry and saw what Emma had tried to tell them three years ago when they wouldn't listen, that Regina is a wonderful mother and that she loves with her entire being. He knows now that if Regina does choose to stay and be with Emma that his daughter and grandchildren are in good loving hands.

He wonders why his wife can't see that.

He wonders exactly when she became someone he can no longer recognise. She wasn't like this when the curse first broke. She fought to save Regina's life as hard as Emma did telling him about the young woman who saved her on her horse so many years ago.

Then Emma revealed they were dating and it was like a switch flicked in her. Empathy was replaced by distrust. Anger brewed in her and she refused to understand or accept what was happening. Snow had an idea in her head of what their daughter would have been like as a princess and she was determined to make it so. He won't say it's been easy to build a relationship with Emma because it hasn't.

On both sides there was resentment. For Emma it's that they chose to let her go and so she grew up alone. For Charming it was that he didn't get to be there. He will never see her first steps or hear her first word. He can never have those years back.

But then one day he realised that whilst he could not have that past he could be part of her present and future. His daughter, in spite of her childhood, grew up to be an incredible woman and he's so thrilled to know her. He would not change Emma for anything in the world. Even if someone offered him the chance to turn her into a baby or a child he would say no because he knows Emma now and she's his daughter. There's no replacing her.

He wants to be part of his life and be her father and part of that is accepting her family and her choices. Even if she didn't want to be with Regina he also needs to think of Henry. He has seen first-hand how much Henry missed his Mom and he knows that no matter what happens Regina will always be family because of his grandson.

Family has always been important to him and he strives to protect them where he can. He hasn't always known the right way to do that but he thinks he knows better now. He hopes he does. Right now the best thing for his family is to arrest his wife. It breaks his heart but he needs her to realise what she's doing because he doesn't know how much longer he can stand by her side and watch her destroy the daughter she was so desperate to find.

He's tired. He's so tired of watching her drive Emma away. He's tired of watching Henry avoid going round because whenever he so much as mentions his Mom, Snow goes off on a rant or dismisses Regina instantly. He hates the look of fear in Lila's eyes when someone talks about Snow. He's so damn tired of having to stand by her and watch as she drives people away with her insistence about things being her way. She used to be flexible and believe but somewhere over the years she's lost that. Instead she's become obsessed with keeping Emma close and a part of the family.

She's just oblivious to the fact that her obsession with Emma being the princess she has in her mind is destroying any chance she has to be a mother to their daughter.

It saddens him deeply but he cannot help her. He has stood by her and he's not sure he can do so any longer. They've reached a point, he thinks, where the only person who can help her is herself and he's not sure what will make her see that.

"You're not really leaving me in here are you?" Snow asks incredulously.

He looks at her with shame and shock, "You tried to kill Regina."

"Emma will be better off without her. So will Lila and Henry. Driving her out of town didn't keep her away so I decided to try a more direct approach. I'm trying to protect our family Charming."

"You're destroying it Snow and you're destroying yourself. Henry, Lila and Emma all love Regina. Do you really think they'll want anything to do with you now you've tried to harm her? You are not protecting our family Snow. Right now I think you're the biggest threat to it."

* * *

Emma sits in the rigid hospital waiting room chairs and waits. The minutes tick by like hours and all she wants is for someone, anyone, to come out and tell her that Regina is okay. She knows Regina at the very least has broken her leg. She can still see the pain shining in caramel eyes and she wishes she could make it better. Emma vows to support Regina in any way she can whilst she's injured. She just hopes Regina is not too badly hurt.

She wonders how her mother could do something like this. Emma knows Snow has never been accepting and clearly she never will but she never in her wildest nightmares imagined Snow would do this.

Her mind can't help but wonder what would have happened had she not seen Snow's car. As it is Regina wound up with a broken leg. She's been injured badly enough. Had Emma not pulled her away it could have been a lot worse. She could be sitting here wondering whether or not Regina would survive.

At least she knows Regina is alive.

It could have been a far different situation. Regina could easily have been killed today and it has awakened Emma to something she had not considered before. There are a lot of ramifications to Regina staying but one Emma had not let herself think about was the possibility of people trying to kill her. Most people now have either accepted Regina's change or simply decided to ignore her and go on with their own lives but it doesn't mean everyone is ready to let go.

Her mother clearly isn't.

Emma doesn't know what to do about Snow. She will certainly be staying locked up for a while. Emma doesn't feel safe about letting her out. She doesn't trust Snow to be around Regina or Lila or even Henry and herself. Right now her mother is a danger to her family and it's a betrayal she hasn't felt since her time in the system.

She thought that when she found her parents they would be happy to find her and that they would love and support her. Three years ago they were thrilled to be reunited but she did not feel accepted. Now she feels like her father does. She trusts her father and knows that he will support her no matter what.

Snow on the other hand scares her. Ever since she first announced she was dating Regina her mother became obsessed with her being the daughter she had dreamed of having. That obsession had driven Emma away and she thinks driven her mother crazy. She knows Snow will never be happy with her loving Regina. It breaks her heart but Emma can't have Snow around her family. Not now.

Emma has to protect Lila, Henry and Regina. They are her family and as far as she can see Snow is a threat to that. A danger existing here in Storybrooke. Emma knows she cannot leave her mother locked up forever and that one of Snow's allies will undoubtedly let her go. She dreads to think what could happen when that day comes.

Finally a doctor emerges. "Sheriff Swan?"

She stands up, "How is she?"

"Miss Mills has a fractured fibula. She'll need a cast and crutches for a few weeks and then I expect some physiotherapy but I expect her to make a full recovery."

Emma sighs in relief, "Oh thank god."

"She's lucky you pulled her out of the way in time," he remarks, "She's asking for you, I'll be back in to check in on her in a few minutes but you can go in."

Emma nods thanking him before walking through to Regina’s room. She smiles when she sees Regina sitting up and flicking through channels with a bored expression. There’s a cast covering her lower leg that reminds Emma of the severity of the situation – not that she needs reminding.

“How are you feeling?” she asks as she wanders in and takes a seat beside Regina.

“I’ve had better days,” Regina replies. Her leg hurts like hell and she knows she’ll be off her feet for a while. She’s just glad it wasn’t much worse. She’s glad Emma was there to save her.

On the other hand her heart aches for Emma. She knows how painful it is to see your own mother hurt someone you love. She knows that sting of betrayal and heartbreak and she would never wish it on anyone. She smiles sympathetically at Emma. “How are you?”

Emma blinks, “You’re the one in the hospital.”

“And you’re the one who had to see her mother mow me down with her car. I know how hard that is Emma. I may never claim to like Snow but she’s your mother and I know how much it must hurt.”

A tear rolls down her cheek and she wipes it away. “It does,” Emma replies, “I don’t know what happened to her Regina. She was so kind before. I miss Mary Margaret.”

“I know. Your mother has an idea in her head of what you would have been like had she raised you and I think she doesn’t know how to let go of that.”

“Don’t make excuses for her,” Emma says, “she tried to kill you and I dread to think what would have happened had I not been there. I could have lost you. Henry, Lila, we all could have lost you so don’t make excuses for her.”

“You didn’t lose me,” Regina reminds her. “Not today.”

“I know,” Emma replies, “But I could have done which is why I think you need to leave Storybrooke.” 

_Thanks for reading :)_


	19. Chapter Nineteen

_Thanks for the response to the last chapter. I don't own Once or its characters. Apologies for any mistakes. Thank you to DefendMyGirlsHonor for the original prompt and I hope you all like this part :)_

Regina blinks in shock before raising herself up to a sit. She can't believe what she just heard Emma say. Emma has been fighting for her to stay for weeks now and suddenly she's telling her to go? It makes no sense to her. She frowns steeling herself for a rejection she certainly was never expecting. Returning to Storybrooke gave them both a second chance, a chance that Regina felt they were both fighting for.

It's in that split second that she realises that whilst she has been telling herself she's on the fence about what she wants that she never has been at all. She wants Emma and she certainly doesn't want Emma to give up on her, on them, just because of this accident. She's in no denial about the severity of what just happened to her. She's all too aware that she could easily have been killed were it not for Emma.

For her it was a wake-up call. It alerted to a danger that existed in Storybrooke. She knew for a fact that Snow would never accept them – she had hoped that Snow might change if nothing else for her daughter – and this afternoon only proved that. She knows that if they were to stay in Storybrooke then they need to deal with Snow. Avoidance is not an option.

Part of her understands Snow. She knows how easy it is to fall into darkness but she never thought Snow would be one to lose herself to it. Regina, when she fell she had no-one. She had nothing but loneliness and misery and so it was easy to spiral and spiral until she didn't recognise what she had become.

Snow, on the other hand, had Charming and the dwarves and a legion of supporters. From where Regina stood Snow had everything she did not. She had love and support and friendship. She had people who could save her when she could otherwise turned to darkness. At first it made Regina jealous to the point of vengeance. Then she accepted that what Snow had was what she craved. She found it first in Henry, then Emma, then Lila. It's what gave her the hope and strength to carry on.

Even now in spite of the way things fell apart between her, Emma and Henry, Regina feels now like she could count on them to be there for her. She supposes that after this accident she'll know truly because she will have to lean on them. Ruby already has Granny, the B&B and the Diner to take care of. Regina cannot add herself to that list.

It still stuns her that Snow succumbed to darkness. Most of all she's saddened for Emma and Henry because she wanted them to be loved and cared for her they are not who Snow wants them to be. She still hopes that perhaps one day Snow could see the error of her ways. Regina also knows firsthand that is not that easy to claw oneself away from darkness. It takes hard work and belief and knowing you were wrong before you can figure out the right way to go.

It's what she and Emma have been doing since she returned.

She doesn't know what will happen to Snow. She doesn't know what Emma or Henry will do in regards to her. She knows that she will support their decision no matter what it is.

Her wake-up call however was not about Snow but about her own heart. Regina has been telling herself she's unsure and denying herself the truth. In reality she's known all along. She just wasn't ready to admit it. For three years she's lacked closure. She's been haunted by her past with Emma and Henry. Now, however they're beginning to actually move forward. She finally feels like she can trust Emma and Henry again. Over the past few days as well she's spent time with Emma with it just them and truth be told she enjoyed it.

It was the kind of feeling that she wanted three years and one that she had searched for for three years while away in Boston. At the fair and then this morning she found it. She felt safe and happy again.

She doesn't want to lose Emma again and certainly not right when they were finally getting somewhere.

"So that's it?" she asks trying to hide her obvious sadness and anger, "You draw me back in and let me think we might actually have a chance only to send me away again? I thought you wanted me Emma. I thought you wanted us and now you're telling me to go?"

"I didn't mean it like that," Emma replies hastily.

"How did you mean it?" Regina asks in response.

"I want you. For god's sake Regina I love you so damn much. I never thought I would find anyone that I could love as much as I love you. Barring Henry and Lila of course. I mean that I never thought I would want a happy ending or a future with someone. I have never loved anyone romantically like I love you, not even Neal. When I was with Neal I always waited for the other shoe to drop and it did. I took you for granted because I never believed that shoe would drop. It did and I realised my mistake just too late. I know I have a lot to make up for you and that we have a long way to go. I know you probably still have doubts but please never doubt that I love you and want you."

"I know you love me. I know that but if you love me why would you want me to go?"

"Because I love you," Emma replies simply. "I keep wanting you to stay here but you know what I'm being selfish. We all are because it's not safe here. I want us to have a happy ending somewhere where we are both safe and where we both feel happy and here's the thing, I don't think that's Storybrooke."

"We?" Regina questions with a small hopeful smile as she realises that what Emma is talking about is not what she assumed it to be. Emma's not letting her go.

"We," Emma confirms. She's been doing a lot of thinking since they arrived here at the hospital. She's been thinking about her and Regina and their family and where she sees them heading. Given today's accident she doesn't think Storybrooke is the best place for them. Truthfully she's been considering it since Snow took Lila weeks ago.

Storybrooke felt like home four years ago. It felt like home when it was her, Regina and Henry. When Henry brought her to the mansion, to Regina, she felt like she had found what she had been running towards for years.  _Tallahassee_. It was a dream she and Neal made up and after he left her the only person she felt like she could have that with was Regina, it still is Regina.

Storybrooke felt like home four years ago before she lost Regina. Then the curse broke and there were fairytale characters and complications and let her home slide. Storybrooke became chaos and a place where she had to be a saviour. She had to be someone and a perfect someone at that and it was far too much pressure.

Outside of Storybrooke they don't have to worry about fairytale personas and curses. They can just be Emma and Regina. They can just be two mothers and their children and live a happy ending that they both want.

It may seem like running and she's well aware that to some that's what it will look like. In a way it is. It's running away from a place that, whilst it brought them together and brought them happiness, brought them pain and misery. It's running away from a place that will never let them be the way they want to be. To too many they will always be the Saviour and the Evil Queen. They're titles that come with a heavy weight and she and Regina are trying to move on into the future rather than be stuck in the past.

She wants to run but she wants to run with Regina.

Today her mother tried to kill Regina. Snow would rather be responsible for hurting, and intending to kill the woman she loves, than be happy for her and try to be supportive. How can Emma keep her family in a town with someone like that?

She's no stranger to the real world. Emma knows that it comes with its own judgements and problems. Emma also knows that she can face all those real world problems so long as she has Regina and Lila and Henry in her life.

In Storybrooke whilst she might have them they will always be under threat. Her mother won't stay locked up forever. There are too many people out there who are loyal to Snow and who would gladly let her out. Today she saved Regina. But what about the day she isn't?

"I want us to be together. I do Regina. I just don't think it should be here."

"Storybrooke's your home Emma. Your parents are here. Your life is here," Regina points out.

"Granny and Ruby visit you and I know my Dad would still come to see us if Henry and I went to Boston with you. At the end of the day Regina, yeah I have a house and a job here but it's not my home. My home is with you and our kids. Without you it's a place Henry and I lived. If you want to stay in Storybrooke I'll stay with you. If you want to leave I'll go with you. My home is with you and our family. I know we're still getting there and I will go as slow as you want to go. I just want to be with you."

Regina smiles at the words. There's a long road ahead but she knows without a doubt that Emma is in this as much as she is. It gives her hope for her future. Truth be told she's on the fence about where they live. Today just made her realise what she wanted – Emma and Henry. She wants their family and their happy ending that they lost three years ago. She doesn't want to let go of that again and she wants them to live it in a place where they will all be happy.

"I want to be with you too," Regina admits.

Emma grins from ear to ear, "So what does that mean for you and me?"

"It means we try Emma. It means we keep up with therapy. It means we make time for us like it was at the fair. I've been telling myself that I didn't know what I wanted but I did all along. I just wasn't ready to admit but today woke me up to what I wanted. My heart knew what I wanted all along. It wants what it's always wanted – you. I want our happy ending. I know it's going to take us a long time to get there Emma but I want us to try, to really try. We can't let go of each other this time Emma."

Emma reaches across for her hand, "Never. No matter where we choose to live or how long it takes I won't let go. As long as you want me I won't let you go again."

Regina smiles, "Then maybe one of these days you can take me on a date?"

Emma chuckles, "Is that a backwards way of asking me out Regina?"

Regina laughs, "I think it was me asking you to ask me out."

"I was thinking about perhaps a marathon run around the town," Emma jokes.

"Maybe a hop," Regina replies with a smile.

Emma squeezes her hand again, "On a more serious note Henry and Lila really want to see you so can I bring them in?"

"Always," Regina says before pausing, "Do they know it was Snow?"

"Henry does," Emma answers with a hint of sadness in her voice, "He's disappointed in her but I think he's more relieved that you're going to be okay."

"I will be," Regina reassures, "Now bring in my babies."

"Henry's fifteen."

"He's still my baby," Regina says, "He's my little prince and Lila is my little princess."

Emma smiles, "They always will be. Before I bring them in I just want to tell you something."

"You think I should have gone for the red cast?" Regina asks with a playful smile.

Emma chuckles, "What to match my leather jacket? No. If I were to get you a cast I'd get it in yellow so it can match my Bug which you might need to get used to."

Regina rolls her eyes, "Never."

"You love it. Anyway Miss SassyPants I wanted to tell you that I'm really glad you're okay."

Regina smiles, "I'm glad you were there."

"Me too," Emma replies before moving to the waiting room where she knows Henry is waiting with Lila.

She walks out to the waiting area and Henry immediately jumps up, a sleeping Lila in his arms. "Grandpa told me what happened," he says, "is she okay?"

"Her leg is broken," Emma explains, "and she's going to need us Henry."

"Anything," he promises, "We let her down three years ago Ma but not again. She can move in with us if she wants."

"Hold on kid," Emma says, "Your Mom and I are only just getting back to a place where we feel like we can be together without all the past and the drama. It might be a bit quick to talk about moving in together."

Henry frowns at her, "Yeah but she's going to need our help right? It might be awkward at first but at least we can all be together and we can help her if she wants us to."

Emma smiles at her son reaching up to ruffle his hair, "You're a good kid Henry."

He shrugs, "I'm trying."

"You are," Emma says before looking down at her daughter. She takes him from his arms before looking at him seriously, "What does she know?"

"Just that Mom got hurt. She doesn't know who or how. I just told her that Mom got hurt by a car but that you saved her."

Emma nods, "Okay. Good."

"I'm glad you were there Ma," Henry says, "When Grandpa said Snow tried to kill Mom I was so scared. I thought maybe…" he trails off not wanting to voice his greatest fear, that he could lose his Mom so soon after having her back in his life.

Emma pulls him in for a hug, "Me too Henry. Me too. We didn't lose her though. Okay, we didn't lose her."

"I know. I just don't want to lose her again. She only just came back."

Emma nods in understanding and they hug for a few minutes before he sniffs and rubs his eyes to hide any evidence of tears before he faces his Ma. "What's happening between you two now?"

"Me and your Mom? We still love each other Henry and we're going to try but it'll be slow. Neither of us really want to rush into anything. We lost each other three years ago and we don't want that to happen again so we're going to do the dating thing and get to know each other again and just see how we go. All I can tell you is that I don't want to lose her either."

He nods, "Okay."

"Okay?"

"Okay. I'm just glad she wants us after how we were three years ago."

"We've all grown since then Henry. Three years ago we would have just destroyed each other. But you know we're different now. We appreciate what we lost and we all know what we want whereas three years ago we took your Mom for granted. We can't do that anymore kid. I know you won't and neither will I. We're so so lucky that your Mom came back to town and even luckier that she gave us a chance. Never take love for granted Henry."

"I won't," Henry promises, "And I'm not going to take our family for granted either."

"Good," Emma replies, "I know you want to visit your Mom but later you and I need to talk."

"About what?"

"I'll tell you later but it's about our future."

He cocks a brow in confusion but puts it aside for now. A talk can wait but right now his Mom can't. Emma pushes the door open with one hand allowing him through before following. She looks down at the little girl in her arms as she does kissing Lila's head softly. Regina is Lila's world. Emma knows she saved Regina and yet she can't help but think of that terrible moment when she dreaded that that world would be torn away from them.

Regina is the centre. For her. For Henry. For Lila. Without her there family doesn't make much sense. When they were drifting apart Emma sensed something was missing but was too wrapped up to realise what it was. Then Regina left and that sense transformed into a cavernous ache in her heart that could not be filled. When Regina came back the ache began to fade and slowly but surely Regina is letting her back in to her life and with each day that they go forward it all makes sense for Emma again.

She takes a deep breath before putting on a smile for Regina and Henry. They know her fears. They share them understanding what could have happened today. They could all be serious and sad but right now they just want to be there and be a family. They want to enjoy what could have been taken from them today.

Henry embraces his mother tightly resting his head on top of her own. He remembers when she used to rest her head on his. Now he's much too tall for that but hugging her like this reminds him of when he was young and they were happy. It reminds him of the way his Mom poured her love and care into her hugs and in her embrace he always felt safe and loved. He wants her to feel the same way when he hugs her.

"I love you Henry," Regina says as he hugs her.

The words make him smile and yet another tear slips down from his cheek. He spent three years not hearing those words. It was only by luck that he got the chance to hear them again and if his Grandma had had her way he'd never have heard them from her again. The thought makes him hold her tighter as he replies, "I love you too Mom."

"I'm okay Henry," she says patting his back to reassure him. He pulls away to sit beside her and looks down at her bandaged leg. "You're not okay. You broke your leg."

"I'll be fine. A little rest and support and I'll be okay."

"Then you're moving in with us," he states firmly.

Emma chuckles nervously wondering if Regina would even want that. She'd love to have Regina and Lila there of course but she doesn't want to push Regina either. "Henry…" she says as a warning but Regina interrupts and smiles as she replies, "Okay, if you'll have me of course," she adds looking up at Emma.

Emma smiles back at her, "Of course we will. We're going to be there for you Regina I promise."

"Don't make promises you can't keep," Regina says like she always used to.

"Guess I'll have to keep this one," Emma replies with another smile.

Lila stirs sleepily in her arms before blinking up at Emma. She rubs the sleep from her arms before looking at Emma tiredly, "Mommy okay?" she asks with a small yawn.

"Mommy's right here," Regina says her eyes and smile brightening when she sees Lila wake up. It's one of the things that made Emma fall in love with Regina. Her eyes. Her eyes show her emotions and there's a way that Regina looks at the people she loves that lets them know without a doubt that to her they will always be special and be loved.

"Mommy!" Lila cries out holding her arms out. Emma smiles before walking over to Regina and transferring their daughter into her arms. Lila snuggles into her mother before kissing her on the cheek, the forehead and then the other cheek. Regina smiles before kissing her daughter's forehead and then ruffling her hair, "Are you okay Boo Bear?"

Lila nods, "Mr David lookeded after me then he went away to put the bad lady away so Henwy look after me."

"And is Henry good at looking after you?"

Lila nods again before smiling at the boy, "He's my big bwother."

"That's right Lila," Regina says with a smile glad that she is accepting Henry as her older brother. She looks up at Emma before back at her little princess, "Do you remember who Emma is?"

Lila taps her chin for a moment as she thinks before answering, "Other Mommy and lady who saveded me and now you. We both got safe 'cause of Emma," Lila says with admiration, "We should gets Emma something."

Regina chuckles, "Okay what?"

"Do I get a vote?" Emma asks sitting down next to Henry.

"Um….no," Lila replies.

Henry laughs as Emma pouts and asks "Why not?"

"'Cause it's a s'prize so we can't tell you." She then turns to her Mommy before whispering something in her ear. Emma cranes her head but doesn't hear. Henry laughs before tapping Lila's shoulder. His sister turns before looking at him. "Do I get to know?" Henry asks.

"Do you pwomise not to tell Miss Mama Emma?"

 _Miss Mama Emma_.

Emma doesn't even care what her surprise is now because she all hears is those words. There's still a Miss and an Emma in there but there's also a Mama and that's the one that means the most to her. It's taken a few weeks for Lila to warm up to her and she knows why but it makes her feel so very proud that Lila calls her Mama. She loves both her children and being their Ma is one of the most incredible things in the world to her.

Regina meets her eyes and smiles at her knowing how much that word means to Emma. “You okay?” Regina asks as Lila chatters away to Henry.

Emma smiles as she looks up at the woman in the bed. It’s been a chaotic day. Her mother nearly took Regina away forever. She dreads to think what would have happened had she not spotted the car. But she did and Regina is safe and smiling at her from that hospital bed. They still have a chance and it’s one Emma will keep fighting for no matter where their happy ending takes place.

She doesn’t care where Regina chooses to go so long as she’s happy to let herself and Henry tag along too.

She watches Lila and Henry talking before Henry hands Regina one piece of paper and Emma the other. Regina’s is a drawing of a bear in a doctor’s coat with “GET WELL SOON!” written on the top (by Henry) and Emma’s is a picture of Emma wearing a cartoon-style Sheriff’s hat and badge holding Regina with a little Lila in the corner smiling. The caption on hers says, “THANK YOU FOR SAVING MY MOMMY.”

Emma traces over the drawing with a wide smile. She look at Regina, Henry and Lila before answering Regina’s question. “I’m okay.” 

_Thanks for reading :)_


	20. Chapter Twenty

_Hi all, thanks to the response for the last chapter. I don't own Once or its characters. Thanks to DefendMyGirlsHonor for the original prompt. Apologies for any mistakes. Hope you all enjoy :)_

Emma marches into the Sheriff's station a few days later. What she plans to say she's only going to say once and it's taken her several days to even think of facing Snow without wanting to punch though a brick wall.

Every time she's thought of Snow she's felt angry, disappointed and most of all betrayed. Her parents gave her up 'for her own good' so they said. It might have been part of it but there's a part of Emma that knows a lot of it was for the good of the kingdom. Emma's long accepted that they do what they can for their kingdom often at the expense of themselves but what she had thought is that when they finally all found each other that they would all be able to accept one another.

With her father she feels accepted and loved. It's taken them a long time but over the past five years she's grown to see him as her father and knows he will support her. It took Regina leaving and Emma's subsequent heartache for him to realise that she needed him to support her rather than try and force her away from what she wanted most. Emma knows that her Dad will always love Snow. They've stood by each other through a lot but she also knows that he too feels betrayed by her.

They all had a chance here.

They had a chance over the past three years to grow stronger and unite as a family and be there for whatever each other needed. Emma spent so long trying to be what Snow wanted her to be but when she looks back she can't think of many instances wherein Snow accepted her for who she is. At every corner and every action she's been able to tell that her choices aren't what Snow wanted. She is not the princess her mother dreamed of and she never will be.

Emma accepted that.

Charming accepted that and now she and her father have a decent relationship.

Her mother on the hand never has and it breaks Emma's heart. She always dreamed of having a mother who would love her unconditionally and even though she now has a mother she's not sure Snow does. Snow loves her, sure, but not in the right way. From what Emma can tell, Snow loves the idea of her. She loves her daughter, her saviour on the side of good. She loves the baby she gave away but resents all she missed.

At first Emma understood that. She loves Henry and Lila with all her heart but she still thinks sadly about all the little moments she has not been a part of. However what Emma has been able to do is love her children regardless for who they are now. She may have missed the past but she was given the chance to be a part of their present and future and it's not a chance she would ever let fall away.

That's the difference between her and Snow.

Snow is so caught up in her thoughts of what she missed and what she wanted for Emma that she misses who Emma is now.

Emma wishes that wasn't the case and that her mother could just finally accept who she is. She's not sure Snow ever will and if that turns out to be the case then she doesn't want Snow in her life. Emma lost her happy ending once already and she won't let anything cause her to lose it again, even if the person standing in the way of it is the one who's supposed to support her the most.

Emma wishes her mother would change but she also needs to protect her family. She needs to figure out what she wants and needs and who she needs in her life. Emma knows that now. It took her so long, too long to realise it but she knows now.

Snow looks up from her jail cell with an indignant frown as Emma enters. "Emma you're finally away from Regina. Are you going to let me out yet?"

Emma stares at her in disbelief, "Are you serious?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"You tried to kill Regina."

"And she tried to kill me many times."

"In the past," Emma says, "In another land and another time when she was a very different person to the woman she is now and let's face it Snow you gave as good as you got. You both tried to kill each other many times. The difference is Regina isn't still trying to do that."

"No she's just trying to take you, Henry and Lila away from us," Snow mutters.

"No she isn't," Emma replies, "Why can't you see Snow? When Regina came back we all had a chance to forgive and move on and try to get back our happy endings. Dad took that chance. So did Henry and so did I. The only person who didn't is you."

Snow frowns, "What did you expect me to do? You're dating the Evil Queen."

"No I'm not. I'm in love with Regina Mills. She was an Evil Queen in her past. That's a part of her like being the Saviour is part of who I am but it's not all of who we are. I love Regina and she loves me, not a part of me or an idea of me – she loves me. Three years ago I let her slip away because I wanted to be what you wanted but now that's not going to happen because I see how wrong I was. I was trying so hard to make you happy by being who you wanted me to be but I see now that I can never make you happy." She pauses wiping tears away from her eyes. She wanted to get through this without crying but voicing the realisation has them flowing without her control, "I waited so long to finally get a Mom and I thought when I found you that you would always support, love and accept me no matter what. But you didn't. You always made sure I knew I wasn't what you expected me to be. Don't you see how wrong that is Snow? You're so caught up in the idea of me you lost that you don't see me. You don't see who I am now and you don't care what I want. You're my mother and I thought that meant you would want me but you don't. You want some idea of me you had 33 years ago but that girl doesn't exist Snow. She doesn't. I do. I've been figuring out my happy ending lately Snow, what I want it to be and who I want in it."

"What are you trying to say Emma?" Snow asks, tears shining in her eyes. She thought she was saving her family by taking Regina away. Regina is the threat to her family after all not her.

Emma frowns as tears roll down her cheeks, "I'm here to give you this restraining order. You're to stay away from my family Snow."

"I am your family," Snow tries.

"No," Emma replies through tears, "You're not. My family love me for who I am. They accept me for my past, present and future. I made a lot of mistakes. I did but I know them and they know them. Regina is forgiving me and I'm forgiving her. We're trying to move on and build a future and they want me. They want me for who I am and I want them. I want to protect them and that means making sure you can't get anywhere near any of us."

She pushes the paper through the bars before walking away. Emma wipes the tears from her eyes catching her breath and releasing her sobs against the wall. She lets herself cry for a few minutes before walking out to her car so she can go back to the people who make her feel loved and safe.

* * *

Regina taps her fingers against her bed from boredom as she waits. Being confined to a hospital bed went from boring to tedious to outright irritatingly torturous. She can't wait to get home. At least there Lila will always be there and so will Henry and Emma. They visit here at the hospital but they're not allowed to be here all the time.

Truth be told Regina's looking forward to going home with Emma and Henry. It's big step for them all to spend that much time together but it's one Regina felt was worth taking. They all need to see if they can live together and work well as a family. It also gives Regina a chance to see if Emma is true to her word about supporting her and being there for her. Regina believes she is.

She also hopes it will mean they can talk more and make bigger, fuller steps towards moving forward as a family. Some of her fondest memories with Emma are the simple ones, like the way Emma would wake her with breakfast in bed on lazy Sunday mornings, the way Emma's face lights up when she has bearclaws and how it feels to have Emma wrap her arms around her when she would fall asleep on top of the blonde during movie nights.

Regina hopes they can have that again.

It's taken her a long time to give voice to that hope and accept it as what she wants. For three years she tried to push it away but it never truly left. Part of her has always wanted it and always will. Returning to Storybrooke gave her a chance to work her way through the obstacles in her mind so that now she is at a point where she can envision a future with Emma and Henry.

Three years ago when she left she couldn't. All she could envision was loneliness and loss. Now though she sees the possibility of happiness and love. She sees the chance to regain love and make the happy ending she wanted, and still does want, three years ago.

A knock at the door drags her out of her thoughts and she smiles at the sight of her visitor, "You are supposed to be resting."

Granny rolls her eyes out of her, "How am I supposed to rest knowing what happened to you?"

"It's been four days and I'm fine."

"It took me four days to get the truth out of Ruby. Far too tight-lipped that one. I got the truth out of Lila who told me that a bad lady hit you with a car and broke your leg."

Regina sighs sadly, "How is Lila?"

"She's fine. She misses you."

"But is she okay? She doesn't seem traumatised or anything?"

"No," Granny replies, "Trust me she's fine. She just wants her Mommy to come home. Speaking of…."

Regina cuts her out, "So how did you sneak out?"

Granny gives her a knowing look, "I may look like a harmless old lady but I have my ways Regina."

Regina shoots her a pointed look, "Ruby won't be happy, nor will the doctor."

"That doctor doesn't know anything. I'm fit as a fiddle."

"He said six weeks bed rest and he knows what he's talking about."

"I'm fine Regina. At my last check-up he told me I could go back to work."

"When?"

Granny frowns, "Two weeks. I don't know what he expects me to do at that time. Doesn't he know I have an inn and Diner to run?"

"He expects you to get fit and healthy," Regina replies, "As do I and Ruby. We need you around."

"I'll be around for years yet Regina. Don't worry about me. Now what has that doctor said about your leg? Ruby won't tell me anything."

"We don't want you to worry," Regina points out.

Granny looks at her, "Like that will stop me. Now come on child, give me some honest answers."

"It's broken but I'll be fine. A little time and help and I'll be okay."

"And….."

"Depending on how it heals I might need some physiotherapy."

Granny's frown deepens, "I can't believe Ruby was going to keep something this serious from me. I tell you now if that Snow White ever sets foot in my Diner again I will use my crossbow."

"Granny."

"Don't Granny me. No-one hurts my family."

Regina smiles at Granny's protective instincts. Her own mother was never like that and it's nice to have someone in her corner. Over the past three years she has definitely come to see Ruby and Granny as family and they're part of the reason she's dithering over whether or not to leave Storybrooke. They visited her before and she knows they would do if she chose to leave again but over the past few weeks she's enjoyed having them closer by.

"I'll be fine Granny. You don't need to get the crossbow out for me," Regina says.

"I'll be the judge of that," Granny replies, "Now Lila also told me a little something else."

"Oh?" Regina asks innocently knowing what Lila must have told her. When she and Emma had suggested moving in with Emma and Henry for the time being her daughter went crazy with excitement. Every time she sees Lila the tot asks her when they're moving in.

"She mentioned that you and her were going to be living with Emma and Henry."

"Yes."

"So I take it that means you've decided what you want."

"Yes. I love Emma and I see a change in her. She's not the woman I left behind three years ago nor is Henry the same. None of us are. We've all changed so much and I want to get to know Emma and Henry again. I want us to be a family again and I want our happy ending. I love her Granny and I don't want to lose that again. I want to give my happy ending a chance."

"Are you sure? I know you two still have a lot to work through."

"We do but I think we can work through it together. It'll be slow but I hope it'll be worth it. It took me a long time to accept what I wanted and I know I want Emma. I always have. When I first came back all I could think of was the past and what we had lost. Now, though when I'm with her I don't see that. I can envision that future I dreamed of us having together. I see the chance for happiness and love and I think that's worth fighting for."

Granny nods, "Well you know Ruby and I will support you whatever happens but if Emma hurts you…."

"I know, the crossbow."

Granny nods seriously, "You might think I'm joking but I'm not. She better treat you right this time. Does you giving her a chance mean you've made up your mind whether or not you're staying."

"Not yet," Regina replies, "Emma thinks we should leave."

"She does?"

"She told me if I go she and Henry will go with me and Lila. She thinks that we need a fresh start away from Storybrooke and away from Snow."

"What do you think?"

"That I don't want to let Snow drive me out of town again, and that I'm not sure Storybrooke is my home anymore. Don't get me wrong I love being closer to you and Ruby but I can't help but wonder if maybe we'd be better off in Boston."

"So long as you keep in touch."

"Always," Regina promises.

"Whatever you decide," Granny says, "Just make sure you're sure and that whatever you choose is what you really want."

"I will," Regina promises.

* * *

Emma takes a deep breath hoping she's covered up her earlier tears before entering Regina's room.

"What's wrong?" Regina asks. It's been three years but she still knows the signs. She can see the traces of earlier tears and a slight sadness in blue-green eyes. Emma sighs before walking over to her, "How did you know?"

Regina shrugs, "I know you even when you're pretending."

Emma smiles, "I wish I hadn't let you do."

"Me too," Regina says sadly, "Just never do it again."

Emma takes her hand lightly, "Never. How are you feeling?"

"Ready to get out of here. So what happened today?" Regina asks. Emma perches on the edge of the hospital bed. She looks Regina in the eyes before admitting, "I saw Snow today."

"Oh," Regina says quietly. She and Emma have talked about her quite a bit over the past few days including what Emma was planning to do. Regina knows how hard this morning must have been for Emma. It was heartbreaking enough for her to make the decision. No-one ever truly wants to realise that someone they hoped would be there for them never fully will be. She raises her arm up to pull Emma in for a hopefully comforting hug. Emma sinks into the embrace glad she came here. It's the only place she wanted to be after seeing Snow.

"I gave her the restraining order. She can't hurt us."

"She already did," Regina says looking at Emma sadly. Emma looks up at her, "I know but she won't hurt us anymore."

"Are you okay?" Regina asks, "I know you're not but how are you?"

Emma sighs chewing her lip, "I'm sad of course. What she did to you was just the final straw in realising how she feels about me and how I see her place in my life. I think most of all I just feel betrayed and hurt and I just wish she could accept me for who I am but she can't. God I wish it didn't hurt so much," she moves to wipe away a tear but Regina beats her to it, "You're allowed to hurt," Regina says.

"I know," Emma replies, "I wish it didn't have to be this way but I know who I want in my life. I want Henry and Lila and you. You guys are who I want to spend my days with and live my happy ending with. I let it slip before and now I want to fight to protect it. I know today was a small way of doing it."

"I'm sorry Emma," Regina says.

"Me too," Emma replies, "Do you think she'll ever change?"

Regina sighs, "It's hard to say. I did but I knew what I had done wrong. I saw the error of my ways and the evil of my past and worked to try and become a better person. I knew there was darkness in me but I accepted there was light. I think one day along the line if Snow realises that she was wrong maybe she could redeem herself. Would you be willing to give her a chance if she did?"

Emma shrugs, "I honestly don't know. Right now I'm just too angry at her to think about that. I think I just want to get you home so we can figure us out."

* * *

"Alright Regina, your chariot awaits," Emma says as she wheels Regina out of the hospital towards the Bug.

"Chariot?" Regina questions, "I thought you were throwing me into the yellow evil."

Emma mock gasps, "My Bug is glorious and I even put in a cushion on that back seat for your leg."

Regina looks up at her, "I have to sit in the back?!"

"Well the doc said to keep your leg straight and the only place that's happening is the back seat."

Regina groans as Emma opens the door and loads her into the car. She helps Regina sit sideways before strapping a seatbelt slightly awkwardly round her. She places aforementioned cushion under her leg before smiling at Regina, "Comfy?"

Regina rolls her eyes before begrudgingly admitting, "Compared to the hospital bed, yes."

Emma fistpumps before cheering, "Whoo! A victory for the Bug. I knew you loved it."

"I didn't say that," Regina replies.

"Well you're in it," Emma says as she slides into the driver's seat.

"I figured it was better than hopping home," Regina says dryly. Emma laughs smiling warmly at Regina's use of the word 'home'. She hopes one day their home is a place they share full time, one where they raise their kids and celebrate milestones.

"It could have been quite fun to see you hop. How good are you at hopscotch?"

Regina laughs and Emma enjoys the way the brunette's face lights up in her mirror, "I can beat Lila, though probably not now."

"You could do the hopping and I'll just sub in for the other bits," Emma says.

"Are you suggesting we double-team our own daughter?" Regina asks in a mock scandalised tone.

Emma laughs, "Only if she suggests a game of hopscotch. To be honest I think the kids are going to try and double-team us. Lila has Henry wrapped around her little finger."

Regina smiles, "I think she has a lot of us around that little finger."

"It's because she's so damn cute," Emma replies with a smile.

"She really is," Regina replies, "It's why I find it so hard to tell her off."

"You're able to tell her off?"

"Once or twice. She's normally quite well behaved but she has toddler moments."

"Did Henry?" Emma asks curiously. She has always wondered what he was like. She's seen pictures and heard stories but she never tires of hearing new things about Henry or Lila.

Regina laughs, "Oh god yes. When he was three he went through this phase of crossing his arms and staring sternly at me until he got what he wanted. I remember one time I sent him to the naughty step and he snuck his teddy bear on there with him, staged a coup and somehow I ended up on the step instead."

Emma laughs at the mental image of a young Henry making Regina sit on the naughty step, "Oh my god. Let's hope Lila isn't like that."

"She doesn't need to be. I think she'll have Henry do it all for her."

Emma nods, "She's been getting him to do everything else."

"Like what?" Regina asks.

Emma shakes her head at her, "Not telling."

"Why?"

“I’m not allowed to say,” Emma replies, “I was sworn to secrecy.”

“Secrecy?” Regina asks again, her curiosity piqued, “What are you planning Emma?”

“Me?” Emma asks with false innocence, “Oh  _I’m_  not planning anything.” Lila and Henry on the other hand did and she doesn’t want to spoil the surprise for Regina. They could all do with a nice, fun moment between them. 

Regina smiles at her, a slightly suspicious and knowing smile. She can tell they’re up to something but chooses not to dig any further. It warms her heart to know that her family have planned something for her and so she shifts to get comfortable whilst she awaits her surprise. 

_Thanks for reading :)_


	21. Chapter Twenty-One

_Thank you for the response to the last chapter. I don't own Once or its characters. Apologies for any mistakes and I hope you enjoy this part :)_

"Okay what's my surprise?" Regina asks as Emma opens the car door. Emma laughs knowing Regina held out for as long as she could, "I'm not telling."

Regina pouts trying to get the truth out of Emma. The blonde covers her eyes with a chuckle, "No! Not the pout. Put it away!" Regina smiles leaning up to pry Emma's hand away. As she does she wobbles and nearly slips off the chair. "Whoa!" she cries as she grabs the headrest of the front passenger seat to stop from falling.

"Easy," Emma says seriously reaching to steady the other woman, "I promised the kids I would get you home in one piece."

"I'm in one piece," Regina protests, "And before we go in can I just ask something?"

"Anything," Emma promises.

"Please don't baby me or pity me. I broke my leg. I'm not an invalid. I can do things for myself. I can still help around the house and spend time with Lila, Henry and you. I can still be involved with family time and I still want our date to happen Emma. Let me know my own limitations okay?"

Emma nods knowing how much Regina loathes pity and that it's better to let the brunette settle into her house and into being around each other so much more at her own pace. It's going to be a learning experience for both of them having lived apart for so long now.

It's in that moment that Emma realises they never really lived together, not officially anyway. Three years ago before the curse broke she spent most nights at the mansion but they never made the commitment of moving in. They never got the chance between Henry and the curse and everything that happened after. With a deep sigh of regret Emma vows to do better this time. She doesn't want a half-assed attempt at a relationship. She swore she would go all in and that means being there and making the commitments no matter how small.

This time she doesn't want to miss a thing.

For Regina she too doesn't want to rush into commitments nor does she want to skip them entirely. She wants them to date and go slow but she doesn't want Emma to be scared off by what Snow did or treat her any differently. She trusts Emma to take care of her but also to still see her as Regina. All she ever wanted was for Emma to see her and finally she was. Regina doesn't want that to stop now and the next few weeks in close confines will either make or break them.

Both women know it and neither want to blow the second chance that has befallen them.

"Are you ready?" Emma asks, "And I'm not asking because of your leg. I want to know that you want this – us in the same house I mean."

Regina smiles, "I do. Even without the leg I'd still want to spend time with you and our children. Emma I want to get to know you again and though it's not in a way I expected we have a chance to do that. What I don't want is for either of us to think the work is done."

"I don't think that," Emma replies, "I know we have a long way to go. There's still a lot for us to work out but I think what's most important for us is just to spend time together again. Three years ago I stopped seeing you and I was a blind idiot. I don't want to stop seeing you again Regina."

Regina smiles sadly, "All I ever wanted was for you to see me. I saw you Emma and I'm starting to see you for who you are now rather than just a shadow of the past."

"Thank you," Emma says suddenly and Regina looks at her in confusion so she adds, "For even giving me a second chance. Lord knows I didn't deserve one and you could have just ignored me when you came here but instead you came to me and you offered me a chance and I will never stop being grateful for that."

"I would always have come to you. I – we needed closure over what happened between us Emma and I think we're getting closer to that. Even without that my heart wants you. I love you and from what I've seen so far I don't regret giving you a second chance."

"You don't?"

"No," Regina replies before smiling to lighten up the atmosphere, "Then again if you still spend hours in the bathroom…."

"Hey!" Emma protests, "If I remember you're the one who used to hold me up."

"Lila soon changed that," Regina says with a grin, "When she comes in while you're in the shower to demand juice or the toilet you kind of get used to moving fast."

Emma laughs, "I'll watch out for that. Are you still a blanket hog?"

"I was never a blanket hog!"

"Were too. I just need to know how many blankets to put on your bed. By the way we set you up in the downstairs study because we figured the stairs might be a much for you to handle unless you want me to carry you to bed every night….."

Regina smiles, "The study is fine."

"Awesome," Emma replies, "Now do you want your surprise."

Regina shoots her a deadpan look, "What do you think?"

"Let me grab the chair," Emma says and Regina groans, "Well how else do you expect to get in the house Regina?"

Regina frowns at her, "I hate the chair."

"You need the chair," Emma points out. She knows why Regina hates it. The other woman loathes admitting she's sick even if it's just a common cold let alone having to use the wheelchair when she'd rather be up walking.

"You only need it outside. At home we can work around it okay?"

"Okay," Regina sighs, "As long as I get my surprise."

* * *

"Look who's home!" Emma calls out as she wheels Regina into the house. The kids as planned are hiding though both women can hear Lila giggling and Henry shushing her whilst trying and failing not to laugh himself. Regina grins to herself as she looks up at Emma, "You told me I had a surprise."

"You do," Emma says conspiratorially, "It's just hiding. You have to find it."

"What?" Regina asks with a small laugh, "What do you mean I have to find it?"

"As in you need to follow the clues around this humble abode," Emma says the last two words with a mock bow and a slight chuckle before continuing, "And at the end of the treasure hunt you find your surprise. Consider it a fun way of discovering your surroundings."

Regina smiles, "I knew you were in on it."

"How?"

"When you're hiding something you get a certain nervous look on your face and when you were driving you kept flicking your gaze to the mirror to look at me. I know you Emma Swan and trust me if we were ever to play poker I'd beat you in a heartbeat."

Emma laughs, "I don't think so. I know your tells too."

"Maybe I've picked up some new ones," Regina teases.

"Well then I'll learn them," Emma replies, "Now do you want to start your treasure hunt?"

"On one condition," Regina says.

"What?"

"You have to help me," Regina replies, "Because I don't want to wheel around the house."

"How do you plan to get around?"

"I will hop and lean on you," Regina says as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Emma smiles at the stubborn woman she loves before relenting with a sigh, "Fine but if I get tired you'll have to hold me up."

Regina scoffs, "Good luck with that. Okay what's my first clue?"

"Follow the flour feet!" a voice shouts from an unknown spot. Regina laughs recognising her son's voice. She remembers flour feet. It was a game he invented when he was four which basically consisted of jumping in flour and leaving a trail of footprints for her to follow. She smiles fondly at the memory and her heart warms at the thought of him sharing that with Lila. Together the two women spot a smudge of white around the corner and find two sets of footprints leading to a closed door.

There's a folded piece of paper on the door and Regina pulls it off. She opens it to see a drawing of a book she recognises as Lila's handiwork and Henry's writing,  _One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish/in here we read/now go find a favourite dish/in the room where we feed._

Regina smiles shaking her head at the rhyme before pushing the door open. Inside are three shelves lined with books as well as a TV connected to an Xbox and a dartboard on the wall. A pinball machine is in one corner.

"This," Emma announces absentmindedly resting her head on Regina's shoulder, "Is our rec room. I set it up so Henry could have a quiet place to read but we both use it just for a place to think or chill out."

"Isn't that what the living room is for?" Regina asks.

Emma shakes her head, "Nope, but you'll find out what it's for later. Now let's follow that clue."

"I'm going to guess we're going to the kitchen," Regina replies with a smile. She can see a purple mark next to Henry's writing and peers out into the hallway to see that the footprints have indeed disappeared only to be replaced by purple painted prints.  _Damn they're sneaky_  Regina thinks with a grin.

In the kitchen they find a tray of cupcakes. Regina's smile grows wider. Cupcakes are Lila's favourite thing to bake though she prefers to decorate. One of Regina's favourite photos of her daughter is one with the tot covered in sprinkles and buttercream. The kitchen was a mess but it was worth it for Lila's smile and giggles.

The cupcakes are iced in pink, Lila's idea she's sure, with a smattering of sprinkles. Emma reaches for one but Regina bats her hand away, "No desert before dinner."

Emma laughs, "Hey don't Mom-mode me."

Regina rolls her eyes, "You'll spoil your dinner. Do you still have your daily bearclaw?"

Emma nods, "Always. I'll get you to try one yet."

"Oh Emma," Regina replies, "I'm injured but I'm not drunk." She chuckles as she reaches for the card in front of the cooling rack.  _Sprinkles all over the place/you can see/now go find your space/in front of the TV_.

In the living room they find the couch covered in a blanket Regina knows all too well. She reaches for it bringing it to her face with a smile before turning to Emma, "How'd you get this?"

"Ruby," Emma replies, "Lila said that if this was your home then you had to have the blanket."

"It's my favourite," Regina says and Emma smiles as she remembers. She can still recall the day she gave Regina that blanket to replace one she had accidentally ruined. "I know. I can't believe you still have it," Emma says running her hands over the soft fabric.

Regina smiles meeting her gaze, "I'd never let it go." She almost did when she first left but she couldn't bear to leave it behind. In her darkest days it provided comfort. On her best days it made her smile. The blanket was a trace of Emma but it was also hers. She has a lot of happy memories woven into the soft red fleece. The blanket makes her think of movie nights, falling asleep on the couch and turning it into a tent to entertain Lila.

Emma's hand meets her own and together they spread it back over the couch, "The living room," Emma says, "Is still for movie nights and family time. For three years it's been just Henry and I but now we can all start having Friday movie night together again?"

"I'd like that," Regina replies before looking around for a card. She finds one on top of the TV and steers herself and Emma over to it.  _Couches are good for dozes/your next place is good for roses._

They wander out to the garden and Regina gasps. In her apartment in Boston all she has is a flowerbox and some lilies inside. She misses having a large garden to tend to and grow. Even in the Enchanted Forest when there were people to do it for her she preferred to garden by hand enjoying being able to nurture something and watch it bloom. Flowers always gave her hope which is why even in her apartment, where she could not have a garden, she still ensured there would be flowers.

Emma's garden isn't massive but it's big enough. She can see Henry's bike leaning against a shed and a tree with an old treehouse. She wonders when he grew out of wanting one. She can see Lila has explored this already. Her daughter loves the outdoors and she smiles when she spots a skipping rope and a teddy in the grass. She can already picture them enjoying a day in the garden and watching the children play.

She leans against Emma as her eyes roam around the garden, "It's beautiful. It needs some flowers though."

Emma laughs, "Yeah I don't really have much of a green thumb. Henry planted an apple tree over there in the corner but it hasn't really grown much."

"They take time," Regina replies. Like most things, she thinks, they need time and patience and hard work to grow.

Emma nods in agreement, "He wants to put the time in."

Regina smiles knowing Emma understands the double meaning in their words, "Let's get your final clue."

They hobble over to the small blossoming apple tree finding a card atop a freshly bought shiny red apple. Regina picks up the apple and the card.  _The chase is almost over!/Now come stay for a sleepover :)_

Regina frowns in confusion turning to Emma, "Okay so where am I going for this sleepover?"

Emma smiles, "Your chambers await Your Majesty," she replies with a bow. Regina rolls her eyes and laughs before leaning on Emma and helping her stand, "Idiot."

"Yours?" Emma asks hopefully.

Regina offers her a small smile, "We'll see. Time and patience dear."

"I know," Emma replies before looking at Regina seriously, "And I don't care how long it takes Regina. I will stand by you forever no matter what."

"I hope so," Regina says. She believes it more now, "I think we'll make it this time," she admits. Emma smiles, "Me too but I'm not taking it for granted this time," she adds, "It's only going to work if we make it work right?"

"Right," Regina replies, "We'll talk more later. Right now I believe I have a room to see?"

Emma nods escorting Regina back into the house and guiding her through the living room and down towards a study, "Okay I picked here for you because it's close to everything. We have a downstairs bathroom so you should be set and I hope you like your surprise." Emma wrings her hands nervously before helping Regina push the door open.

"SURPRISE!" Henry and Lila yell. Lila jumps up and down excitedly on the bed as Henry beams at his two mothers. Regina looks around the room seeing how it has been transformed from a study into her bedroom.

The walls of the study are still lined with shelves though one of them has been totally cleared to make room for her belongings. Where a desk once stood there is now a bedside table with Regina's books from Ruby's and a brand new vase full of red roses and lilies. Regina tenderly cups the flowers as she looks at the bed that has been moved into the middle of the room. The sheets are a soft cream like her ones at her home and at the bottom is a stack of blankets. Regina smiles knowing they put those there for her knowing her love of added blankets. A wardrobe has been set up in the corner and Regina can see they've put her clothes in there ready for her.

Regina sits down on the bed and Lila scoots into her lap.

"Hello Lila Bug," Regina says kissing her daughter on the top of her head.

"Welcome home Mommy. Can we give her the s'prise now Henwy?"

"This isn't my surprise?" Regina asks. Emma smiles at her, "No we set this up for you last night."

Regina smiles, "Well I love it so thank you very much."

"We want you to feel at home here," Henry says hugging his Mom, "Both of you."

Regina grins at him holding his hand and swinging it like she did when he was young, "Thank you Henry."

"Thank you," he says, "For coming home."

She smiles back at him hoping that they will all make a home together one day. This room is lovely and the fact that they went out of their way to make this room the way it is for her keeps the smile on her face. However Regina can't help but feel they'd be better starting fresh, in a new home that isn't Regina's or Emma's but all of theirs.

"Now surprise time," Henry says before moving to the other side of the bed with Lila. Together they place three huge gift baskets onto the bed. "This is your surprise," he announces as Regina looks at the carefully assembled and wrapped packages.

She grins at her children, "Thank you, come here you two," she says and both Henry and Lila move into her hug. Regina shoots a glance up at Emma who's watching from the end of the bed, "Get in here." Emma doesn't hesitate to comply and together they hug before they peel away from each other.

"Open 'em Mommy," Lila encourages dragging a basket towards her mother.

Regina smiles at her before peeling open one basket. Her smile grows wider as she inhales the scent of freshly baked goodies such as cupcakes, croissants and cookies.

"Granny and Ruby helped us with that one," Henry says.

"Granny is supposed to be on bed rest."

"She says it's okay 'cause it was for you," Lila replies, "And that if you tell her off you won't get no more pancakes ever!" Her daughter finishes with a dramatic expression that never fails to make Regina laugh.

"Then don't tell her I tried to tell her off," Regina whispers conspiratorially. Henry and Lila grin at her, "Secret's safe with us Mom. Now do the next one."

In this one is an oversized large grey jumper and Regina smiles slipping it on enjoying the comforting warmth, "Lila said you left yours in Boston so we got you one for here," Henry explains. Regina nods. It's the little things that help you feel at home in a place and these gifts as well as the personalised touches for her are certainly helping her to feel like she's where she needs to be. In the rest of the basket are several of her favourite candles, a new teddy – handpicked by Lila – with a bandaged leg, some of Lila's picture books so they can still have story time and an array of gardening and baking magazines Henry remembered she likes.

"This is just stuff to help you feel comfortable here," Henry says.

"'Cause this our home now," Lila adds with a wide smile at Henry and Emma. Emma can't help but grin at the statement as she hopes with all her might that Regina and Lila's home will always be here with her and Henry. Regina, Henry and Lila are certainly her home and whilst she's run away from many homes she's not running from this one – never again.

The final gift basket has a brand new hairdryer, a stylish black dress she knows was hanging in her closet in Boston, her favourite perfume from her vanity, her old grey bathrobe and some brand new check flannel pyjamas. Regina raises a brow at those and Henry laughs, "Yeah Lila picked those. She said you need to match Emma."

"I got some and Henwy has some. So does Mama Emma and now you got some too Mommy and now we can all have matchy 'jamas!"

Regina grins at the explanation, "Matching pyjamas it is Boo Bear, what about the rest of it?"

"We told Ruby to find you some stuff for your date with Ma."

Regina turns to Emma who holds her hands up, "I told them nothing."

"She didn't have to," Henry replies, "I know you broke your leg but you can still have your date right?" he asks hopefully knowing his Moms need a chance to get back together and find their happiness.

"Right," Regina confirms and Emma's heart soars at the response.

* * *

Emma wakes up at three o'clock in the morning. She frowns at the blinking digits on her alarm clock unused to being awoken in the middle of the night. She and Regina never wound up talking. After giving Regina her grand tour they spent the day doing family things before conking out in front of the TV. It was a wonderful day and one Emma hopes to enjoy more often.

She slowly sits up before realising the noise is coming from downstairs. She nods knowingly before reaching for her own bathrobe and wandering down the steps to find Regina sitting up at the kitchen counter with a mug of hot cocoa in front of her.

"I knew it would be you down here," Emma says sleepily as she sits across from the brunette who smiles at her, "I couldn't sleep."

"New place?" Emma asks and Regina nods. Emma moves to the fridge pulling out a glass of milk. For Regina it's cocoa that sends her to sleep, for Emma it's milk. Creature comforts, she guesses as she slides back onto her stool, "I figured you wouldn't be able to sleep."

Regina shrugs, "I never can. I'll be fine tomorrow." She's always struggled to sleep in a new place on the first night. She doesn't know why. She assumes it's to do with growing up in the Enchanted Forest. She spent her whole childhood in one place before suddenly being uprooted to Leopold's castle. Her first night there was wracked with uncertainty and fear and the feelings subconsciously still linger.

Emma nods, "I hope so. Do you want me to stay up with you?"

Regina looks at her, "You'll get tired."

Emma shrugs, "I know but I figured maybe we could talk while we have our sleepy drinks?"

Regina smiles at the term, "Fine you can stay but if you start yawning you're going to bed." Truth be told she likes the fact that Emma wants to stay up with her. She's become used to lonely nights over the past three years but her heart has always missed having Emma there.

“Fine,” Emma agrees, “Did you mean what you told Henry earlier? About our date still being on?”

“I told you yes,” Regina replies.

“I know,” Emma says, “But I just want to make sure you’re ready and maybe talk about how you want it to work.”

Regina nods running her thumbs over the rim of her cocoa mug, “I want it to be a date. No expectations of bases or anything like that. I just want to spend the night with you and have it be about us now rather than us three years ago.”

“I can do that,” Emma replies, “So are you wanting full on romantic or casually sweet?”

Regina grins at her, “Surprise me.” 

_Thanks for reading :)_


	22. Chapter Twenty-Two

_Sorry for the delay in updating - life is very hectic right now! Thank you for the response to the last chapter. Apologies for any mistakes and I hope you like this part :)_

Emma wakes to something she hasn't woken up to in a long time – the smell of freshly cooked pancakes and cocoa. It's a smell that reminds her of when she and Regina first dated and she began staying the whole night. She used to love waking up to the smell of a home cooked breakfast because she had never known it before. When Regina used to make breakfast for her she felt like she had found a home and a family.

After Regina left there were no more pancakes unless she and Henry went to Granny's – even then it wasn't the same. Breakfast at home consisted of cereal, silence and glances at empty chairs.

It's been a long time since she's woken up to the smell of homemade pancakes but it's something her heart remembers instantly and that Emma could and hopefully will get used to. She realises that with Lila and Regina here, their family is all under one roof. That thought is the one that makes her smile brightly – she wants to wake up to this feeling every day and it makes her even more determined to give Regina, and herself, an amazing first date to start their new beginning.

She stretches slowly before slipping out of crumpled sheets. She'll make the bed later – something she swears she'll always do but never does. It used to drive Regina crazy and Emma wonders if it still does. They have a lot to learn about each other again and Emma can't wait to learn it all.  _Hopefully you have a lifetime_  Emma thinks. Whether they do or not Emma wants to know Regina again. All things start with a step and together, since Regina came back, they've been making small steps towards a future. Emma doesn't know what steps will come next – what she knows for sure though is that the people she wants to take those steps with are sitting downstairs in her kitchen. For Emma that's an amazing start to the day.

Emma reaches for an old hoodie shrugging it over her shoulders before getting up and wandering downstairs. She laughs when she walks in and sees her kitchen countertop covered in mess. Eggs, butter and what looks like a mixture of flour and sugar are spread over the counter. She can see pans and various other previously unused kitchen items in the sink. Emma looks at the flour noticing something in it.

Amongst the flour are three handprints which Emma can tell belong to Lila, Henry, then Regina. Above them is an arrow and a post-it note. Emma picks it up,  _Morning lazybones. Follow the smell of pancakes :)_

Emma laughs again at the note before slipping it into her hoodie so she can store it somewhere safe later. This first morning isn't one she wants to forget anytime soon, no matter how many times she experiences something the firsts are always incredible to Emma.

She pads through the kitchen towards the small dining area. It's not so much a room as it is a little nook with a table and several stools. She never got a big table because it was just her and Henry.  _Maybe now I should get one_  Emma thinks with a small smile as she pokes her head around. She can see Henry grinning as he picks up a pancake with a cut out smiley face on it and talks to Lila through it – it's the happiest she's seen him at the breakfast table in a long time. Emma hears Lila laughing at her brother and it's a sound that warms her heart. It's a sound of family and happiness and one she longs to fill her home with.

Then she sees Regina.

The brunette is propped up on two stools with her leg on one and herself balanced on another. She's wearing sweats and a hoodie and Emma can't help but smile at how comfortable and happy Regina looks. It strikes her as she stares entranced by Regina's bright joyful grin that this is what they could have had three years ago, it's what Emma always dreamed they would have – a home with each other filled with simple, happy family moments. They lost it before but Emma vows never to lose it again.

Regina turns to look at her and Emma blushes having been caught staring before smiling at her. "Good morning," Emma says.

Regina smiles at her. It's been one night at Emma's. Aside from her inability to sleep which was soon soothed by talking to Emma it was a good night. It took her weeks to feel at home in Boston yet one night in Emma's house and she already feels at home here. Waking up this morning knowing that her, Lila, Henry and Emma were all in the same place made up her mind for good. She wants them to make a go of this and be a family all the time. She wants their happy ending be it in Storybrooke, New York, Boston or wherever.

She just knows that sitting in Emma's kitchen felt right and that home comes from a feeling in the heart, a feeling that you are right where you need to be with the people you need to be with. She feels that now.

"Good morning," Regina replies, "We made pancakes, hope you don't mind."

"Mind?" Emma chuckles, "Like I could ever mind your homemade pancakes even if you are supposed to be resting."

Regina rolls her eyes, "I'm fine. I stayed on a stool and kept my leg upright and still. Henry did most of the baking, Lila and I just prepared them."

Emma nods before turning to her kids, "Did Mommy sit down and behave?" she asks Lila. The little girl laughs, "Yes," before she tugs Emma down to stage whisper, "But she did 'nore Henwy when he told her to sit down."

Emma gasps in shock, "She did?!"

Lila nods, "Yep. He had to get cushions for her so her leg didn't fall down but when he went to get them she gotted up to stir the pancakes."

Emma turns scoldingly to Regina, "Regina, Regina, Regina."

"I stood up for two seconds. It was fine," Regina says.

"No it wasn't," Henry replies, "You're supposed to rest it."

Regina frowns at his serious tone before reaching across to take his hand like she used to do many years before, "Henry honey I'm okay."

He nods before looking at her, "But you were lucky to be. I just want you to be careful."

Regina nods looking at him solemnly, "Henry I promise you I would never do anything that would take me away from you and Lila and Emma. You guys are my family and I'm not going to endanger that."

"You hafta pinky pwomise," Lila chimes in.

Regina smiles before offering up her little finger to Henry. He smiles back looping his finger around hers, "Okay Mom."

Emma smiles at the interaction before sitting down at a stool next to Regina. She places a hand gently on Regina's right shoulder looping her arm around the brunette, "Good because I don't want to lose you again."

Regina nods turning to her before taking Emma's free hand in her own entwining their pinkies, "I'm not going anywhere without my family."

The two share a look their hands remaining connected as Emma turns to her pancakes taking a bite. She grins looking back at Regina as she tastes chocolate chips, "You remembered?"

Regina chuckles, "Always."

* * *

Emma knocks on her father's door after dropping Henry off at school and reluctantly leaving Regina and Lila at home. She'd love to stay home with them but she still wants to check in on her Dad and see how he's dealing with this latest Snow incident. Eventually the door creaks open and Charming's head pops out. When he sees Emma he smiles with watery eyes, "Emma, you came here? Even after-"

"Dad, you didn't try to kill Regina," Emma says, "You had no part of what Snow did so why would I hold it against you? You've been supporting me and trying and getting to know Regina and Lila.  _You are my Dad_  okay?"

"That's always okay," Charming replies before pulling his daughter in for a hug, "I love you."

"I know," Emma says, "And I love you too. Have you spoken to Snow?"

He sighs, "Not since the day of her arrest. I don't know what to say to her Emma. I really don't."

She nods in understanding, "Me neither."

They move into the apartment before sitting down at the kitchen table. He looks seriously at his daughter, "I'm sorry."

"Why?" Emma asks, "You didn't do anything."

"Exactly," Charming says, "I didn't do anything three years ago. I stood by her and let her make the choices she was making. Back in the Enchanted Forest, before the curse she was so strong and smart and she knew what to do for us, our family and our kingdom. Then this curse broke and she changed Emma. I didn't see it and I failed you. When Snow was pregnant with you I couldn't imagine you having a better mother. She was loving and hopeful and she believed in our family. It's what I wanted for you. We didn't get to raise you but then after the curse we were reunited and I thought that finally you'd have us both but you didn't and I'm so sorry for that."

"Dad," Emma says, "You can't blame yourself."

"I'm your father," Charming replies, "Emma it's my job to protect you and put you first. Instead I stood by your mother and made you feel like you and what you wanted was not enough. That is my failure and I'll never stop being sorry for it. I love you Emma and you are 100 and more percent enough, and the family you're building, you, Lila, Henry and Regina is one I'd be proud to be a part of if you'll have me."

Emma smiles, "Of course we will."

He sighs in relief, "Thank god. How is Regina?"

"Stubborn as always," Emma laughs before adding, "She'll be okay. She has a fracture to her fibula which means a cast, crutches and a chair she refuses to use. I came down this morning and she'd made pancakes."

"Not exactly resting," Charming says.

"No," Emma says, "But that's Regina. She made pancakes Dad."

He looks at her smile and smiles back knowing full well what that means to her, "You had breakfast with your family Em."

"I did," she replies, "And I loved it. I realised I could have always had that but I screwed it up. I'm not doing that again. I remember you telling me to cherish the good moments in my life and I think it's about damn time we all started doing that."

"Good," Charming says, "You deserve to be happy Emma."

"You too," Emma says.

He sighs again, "I hope so. Anyway what are you going to do for your first date with Regina?"

Emma groans flopping her head into her hands, "I wish I knew!"

* * *

"I don't need the chair," Regina says definatly glaring at the wheelchair that Lila is currently sitting in and trying to wheel around the living room. Ruby frowns at her, "Well then enjoy that couch."

"I have crutches," Regina points out.

"Which you are not hobbling all the way to the Diner on," Ruby says, "God I swear you're worse than Granny."

Regina laughs, "Surely I'm not that stubborn?"

Ruby gives her a knowing look, "Really? Says the woman who took a year to trust that Granny and I weren't coming to Boston to hurt you?"

"Fine," Regina says, "I might be a little stubborn. To be fair I had good reasons to have trust issues."

"You did," Ruby replies, "But Granny and I just wanted to help."

"I know," Regina answers before smiling at the other woman, "And I'm glad you weaselled your way into my life."

"Weaselled?"

"Would you prefer wolfed?"

"Yes actually I would," Ruby says with a laugh, "Besides we hardly weaselled in."

"Well you were very persistent. Even when I told you to go away you still showed up," Regina replies remembering those early times with a small smile. When Ruby first showed up in Boston Regina couldn't help but have doubts. She wasn't used to people caring without an agenda or looking out for her without suddenly leaving. It took her a long time to accept them as her family but now she couldn't imagine not having them around.

She's beginning to feel that way about Emma and Henry again and she's glad. In Boston she missed them but also knew she had to leave. Now she's returned and they're slowly moving forward Regina's heart is opening itself up again and she finally feels like she's in a place where she can be a family with them again.

It all starts with a first date which she is incredibly nervous about. She and Emma had an impromptu date at the fair but this, this is a planned and established date. There's no pussyfooting around it or pretending it's for the kids. This is a romantic date and the unequivocal first step in them rebuilding a life together.

She wants it to go well. Regina reminds herself to breathe and relax so she can enjoy that moment with Emma. It's their first official date since they never really dated before and it's a first that Regina wants to be able to look back on as the beginning of happiness.

One of the main struggles for Regina has been to be able to open herself up to love at all. After Emma she tried to shut it out and even when she tried to date she could not move on. Her heart was never really ready for moving on. Instead it threw up shields and roadblocks and reserved its love for her daughter, Ruby and Granny – her family.

"Well you're very lovable when you give people a chance to see it," Ruby says, "Now come on. We need to get to the Diner before Granny talks her way into the kitchen." It's a chance Regina is re-opening to Henry and Emma in the hopes of finding joy and her future. She's letting herself hope.

"Who did you leave in charge?"

"Ashley."

Regina laughs, "You realise Granny will be behind that counter when we get there?"

"Yay! See Granny!" Lila yells, "Mommy get in your chair," she orders, "I wanna see Granny!"

Ruby smiles, "Listen to your daughter."

"Yeah! Listen to me!"

Regina smile shaking her eyes, "Are you two ganging up on me?"

Ruby laughs, "Hey the little Lila Bug is on my side right lil' Bear?"

Lila nods, "Yep."

"There you go, now get your butt in the chair so we can have lunch and Granny can stop hassling me about whether or not you're okay."

* * *

Regina sits on the edge of her bed and stares at the mirror. It's her first date with Emma tonight. After being told three days ago that they would be going out on Friday night she has tried to get information about what they'll be doing but no luck. She's asked Lila, Henry, Ruby, Granny and even Charming but they've all been sworn to secrecy.

She smiles as she waits brushing imaginary dirt off her black dress (which goes fantastically with her cast but it will have to do – if she sits just right you can't even tell it's there but it's a pain in the ass nonetheless). Her initial nerves are back but they're different. To start with she was nervous through fear of how it could go wrong. She built up in her mind an expectation of this date being the start of their future and wanting it to be perfect but then realised she needed to stop. Instead she reminds herself to just enjoy the date. No pressure. No future. One night. A chance.

Now her nerves come from the fluttery excitement of the date itself. After waiting for so long to reach this moment she just wants it to happen. She wants to go out with Emma and venture forth into progress that will bring joy rather than angst and past pain.

There's a knock on her door and with it comes a rush of anxious anticipation. She smiles reaching up to fluff her hair out of habit. She's put it up remembering how much Emma used to love it when she would wear it up. It's in what she would call a messy bun and she kept her make-up light and simple. She shoots one last look at the mirror before reaching for her ballet flats – she's not allowed to wear heels though she's not sure if that order came from her doctor or her family.

"Come in," she calls and she grins as her daughter's head pops round the door. Lila skips in, in her Sofia the First pyjamas and leaps onto her mommy's lap, "Mommy I don't wanna go to bed," she huffs.

Regina chuckles at her, "Why not Boo Bear?"

"'Cause you and Mama Emma are going out and I wanna come," Lila says clutching her little stuffed pig tight to her chest.

Regina smiles pressing a kiss to her daughter's dark curls, "Well Lila you know how we have time that's family time?"

"Yeah?"

"Well like we have family time sometimes adults like to have time just for them. Emma and I are going to have some grown-up time so we can get to know each other."

"So you gonna date and be happy?" Lila asks confusedly.

Regina nods, "I hope so baby."

"Me too," Lila says enthusiastically, "I like living here with Henwy and Mama Emma Mommy."

Regina smiles, "I do too. Now are you going to be good for Henry and Grandpa?"

"The bestest," Lila promises.

"Good," Regina replies ruffling the tot's hair.

"And you have to be good too," Lila says.

Regina laughs happily at her daughter's serious tone before hugging the toddler, "I'll be good."

"And Emma has to look afta you 'cause if she doesn't me and Granny hafta beat her up."

Regina grins shaking her head, "Did Granny tell you that?"

Lila nods and Regina nods knowingly, "I'll be fine Lila."

"She will," mother and daughter look up to see Emma standing in the doorway or a floor length red dress, her hair done up in an intricate braid around her head. Regina looks her up and down smiling at the gorgeous blonde. She's always loved it when Emma dresses up and that hasn't changed.  _Beautiful_ Regina thinks as her heart flutters once more.

"Are you ready?" Emma asks as her gaze fixes on Regina. She can't take her eyes away from the stunning brunette and she can't wait for them to go out. She's been waiting for this moment for a long time and she's overjoyed that they have the chance to do this now. She wishes she'd done it before. Whilst she cannot change that, she can do her best to give them what they haven't had before. She can do everything to keep her happy ending starting with the first date she imagined them having all those years ago.

Regina smiles at her knowing the double meaning of that question. Being ready for the date means a lot more than just the date. It's taken time and there's more work and time to come but she knows her answer without a doubt. She nods, "Ready."

* * *

"Where are we going?" Regina asks as soon as they get into Emma's car. Emma laughs, "Well we have to get there first."

Regina pouts at her, "Aw come on Emma. You've told me nothing all week, give me a hint."

"Nope. You told me to surprise you so I'm surprising you," Emma replies with a cheeky grin, "But I think you're going to love it."

Regina smiles, "Good."

The ride to their date is punctuated with small talk and Regina attempting to get hints from Emma about exactly what they're doing tonight only to be teased with silence or joke answers like 'Storybrooke Pogo Stick Contest'. Finally Emma stops the car and Regina frowns in confusion, "The woods?"

Emma nods with a wink, "You'll see. Now we do have to walk a tiny bit of the way so you can either use your crutches or I can piggyback you."

The pride in her would say the crutches. Then she remembers moments of shared laughter and of fun and easy joy. She remembers one particular day when she could feel grains of sand between her toes until Emma suddenly lifted her in the air. She squealed then before laughing and sealing their lips together in a kiss.

She smiles before gesturing for Emma to come closer. Emma walks over to her side of the car before leaning in, "What?" she asks. Regina simply grins wider before turning Emma with her hands and lifting herself with ease onto Emma's back. Emma chuckles moving her hands to hold Regina's legs as Regina slides her arms around Emma's neck. Regina smiles happily. She's missed this. She's missed feeling this connected to Emma and she thinks that tonight will be a step towards recapturing that.

Emma grins holding onto Regina tightly before moving them with ease towards their destination. She can't help laughing as they stumble slightly through the woods and she loves that Regina laughs with her. She listens to the rise and fall of Regina's melodic laugh as they move through the trees and she feels that feeling in her heart again. It's a giddy buzz that makes her heart soar and flutter as they walk towards a hopeful new start.

With a graceful(ish) duck beneath a tree branch they step forth into a clearing and Emma walks purposefully to where she's set their date up. Regina gasps as she takes in the clearing and smiles recognising it immediately.

It's a little lake hidden amongst the trees that she's loved since she first woke up in Storybrooke over thirty years ago. In amongst all the chaos and pressure of running the town and being a single mother it became her safe haven. She finds it peaceful and soothing and loves the sight of the various flowers littering the ground. It reminds her of the little nature nooks she'd hunt for as a child and being in places like this makes her feel that kind of carefree happiness.

She smiles at Emma, "You remembered?" she asks.

Emma grins, "I do. I haven't been here in three years," she admits, "It never felt right to but now you're back, well it seemed to me like it was the perfect place."

Regina nods before turning her attention to where Emma has stopped them. There’s a private table set up with candles on the table and fairy lights strung up in the trees. She can see red and white roses on the vase along with lilies and orchids beside the table. It’s exactly what she wanted – romantic and just there’s.

She smiles as the moonlight dances through the trees and she turns to her head to meet Emma’s gaze. It’s in that moment that Regina sees what she’s been looking for since she returned, not just Emma telling her she loves her but the pure adoration, connection and love that they had once before. Looking into Emma’s eyes she feels like there’s nowhere else in the world she wants to be right now.

“It is,” she says, “It’s perfect.”

Emma swivels her down carefully and Regina lands on one foot making sure to keep her casted leg up. She rests her hands on Emma’s shoulders before leaning up to kiss the blonde. When Emma kissed her weeks ago it was all Emma. It was Emma stuck in a past moment reacting on instinct.

Tonight they move in sync with each other, both of them in the present moment together. There’s no words because in this second they don’t need them. They let their hearts guide them and beneath the moonlight they kiss a kiss full of love and hope.

_Thanks for reading :)_


	23. Chapter Twenty-Three

_Hi all. Sorry for the delay in updating, I am writing as fast as I can for you guys :) Apologies for any mistakes and thank you for the response to the last chapter. Hope you all like this part :)_

Regina smiles as she sits down at their private table by the lake and stares across the table at Emma. Emerald-blue eyes meet her own and her smile grows wider upon seeing what's reflected in those eyes – hope, laughter and joy. In other words exactly what Regina feels in this moment. Her nervous butterflies have been replaced by a giddy sensation in her heart.

They never really had a first date three years ago. They went from sharing a bed and hopped into a relationship which then fell to pieces right before their eyes. The very fact that they're having this first day is wonderful for Regina because it proves to her that Emma is trying, that Emma wants to make up for what they never had as well.

The choice of date too sends Regina's heart aflutter. It's in the perfect place as far as Regina's concerned and she likes the fact that they're away from the crowds. There's no-one here to gawk at them or scrutinise before they even get a chance to figure things out for themselves. It's just them and to Regina's way of thinking that's exactly what they need. Time away from therapists and the town and even their children and friends so they can just be them again – not the them they were but the them they can be now.

"This is wonderful," Regina says as Emma sets down two plates of chicken salad. Emma grins, "I'm glad you like it. I couldn't bring any hot food because I wasn't sure it would stay warm so I went for the salad."

Regina smiles, "That's fine Emma. I'm never going to turn down Granny's Chicken Salad."

Emma pouts, "How'd you know?"

Regina laughs and Emma smiles brightly at the sound. It's always cheered her soul and tonight is no exception. Only with Regina has she found this feeling – a sense that no matter what she can and will be okay. With Regina she found strength and light like no other. She was foolish enough to let it go once, she won't be again. She sees this date as a fresh start, a way for them to be together and be Emma and Regina again.

She misses being Emma and Regina and hopes this time around it will be much better. She's certainly going to do her best to make sure they can be happy. Emma believes that they can and will be happy again, she just needs to let herself have a happy ending without letting it slip through fear of losing it. She thinks she's strong enough for that now.

Sitting here and looking at Regina as they have their very first date she feels that strength in her heart.

"I've had enough of Granny's home-cooked meals to recognise her food. How'd you convince her to make it?"

"I told her it was for you and she said and I quote 'anything for Regina, you Miss Swan have a long way to go in my eyes but for Regina I will help.' I don't think she likes me very much but she loves you and wanted to make sure you have a great first date."

Regina smiles, "That sounds like her. I'm sure she does like you by the way."

Emma shakes her head, "I don't think so, not after the way my Mom treated them when they chose to stay here rather than go back to the Enchanted Forest. Snow treated anyone who didn't want to return like some kind of traitor and I went along with it. I have a lot to make up for to those people and I'm trying now but…."

"…..it all takes time," Regina finishes, "You'll get there Emma. You're not the same woman you were back then. I can see that and though she might not admit it Granny knows it. So does Ruby. People can see you're not the saviour living in her mother's shadow anymore. You're Emma and you came back. Besides I think no matter what the people here will always like you better than me."

Emma shakes her head again, "Nah. Yeah there are some who still think of you as just the evil queen, they tend to be the ones closest to Snow but you must have noticed from working at Granny's that most don't see you as your past anymore."

Regina smiles with a small nod. It's true that people have been friendlier, well sort of. No-one has really made any real attempt to engage with her or strike up a conversation but she didn't expect them to. She expected hostility and their hate again but she didn't get it. From the dwarves she did but from most others there was just a quiet politeness and acceptance that she was there. There were no longer the looks of fear and hate but a sort of quiet acceptance that she was not her past anymore but Regina.

"I hope not," Regina replies, "I know my past is inescapable because it's who I was but it's nice to not have people look at me with terror and loathing."

"They won't now. You're a big softy," Emma teases.

Regina rolls her eyes and scoffs, "Please. I could still fireball your ass into the next dimension."

Emma laughs, "Okay, a badass big softy."

Regina scoffs again, "Better."

"I'm glad," Emma says, "So how's your salad?"

"Delicious," Regina replies, "How's your salad? I know you're not normally a fan of vegetables or well anything healthy."

Emma chuckles to herself, "No not really but I had to encourage Henry to eat his and well he wouldn't eat them unless I did too so I had to start and they've grown on me. Don't get me wrong I'd still take a grilled cheese or a burger any day of the week but I'll eat a salad every now and again."

"It might be more than that. Lila and I love salad and fruit."

Emma scrunches up her face, "Fruit and veg? She does like chocolate and cake right?"

Regina laughs, "Of course she does. In moderation."

"Are you still an 'every now and then' kind of woman when it comes to treats?" Emma asks.

Regina smiles coyly, "I might indulge occasionally….."

Emma laughs, "You're still a secret chocolate eater," she teases.

Regina blushes indignantly, "I am not!"

"Let me guess, top drawer of your kitchen cabinet, bedside table and at the back of the cupboard with the tins," Emma says.

Regina smiles but says nothing until Emma looks at her. Her smile blossoms into a grin as she replies, "Three for three. Now I bet I can guess you're secret bearclaw spots…"

* * *

"Emma sh," Regina whispers as the pair stumble through the front door giggling. Emma half carried her to the door and together they hopped up to Emma's house in between a fit of laughter that has filled their evening. It's exactly what they both wanted, a night free of angst and pain and instead full of laughter and conversation wherein they got to start getting to know each other again. Most of the questions and answers were about the finer details, the little things that make up who they are.

Emma stifles a giggle before looking pointedly at Regina, "You started it."

"Did not," Regina protests.

"You're the one who told me to 'three legged race' it up to the door," Emma says.

Regina laughs, "I merely suggested it."

"Well I think at the next Storybrooke Sports Day I think we'll be a shoe-in."

"Me too," Regina replies, "We've got good teamwork."

Emma smiles, "I like us being on the same page again. I think that's one of the things I missed most, feeling so in sync with you. I've never felt that way about anyone before you or after and I know why. I think when you feel that connection you know you've found the one. Losing that connection, losing you made me realise that. It felt like I'd lost a piece of me and tonight, I don't know, I sort of feel like we're getting it back a bit."

Regina nods in agreement, "Me too. I think tonight was exactly what we needed which is why I wanted to ask you on a second date?"

Emma grins brightly, "A second date?"

Regina smiles back, "And many more."

"I like the sound of that," Emma replies already looking forward to the idea of a future filled with nights like tonight. She likes the fact that Regina was thinking the same thing too. For Emma it's a sign of progress and that they truly are back to both wanting to be together and having the happy ending they desire.

"Good," Regina says, "So next time I'll take you out."

"Do I get a piggyback too?" Emma asks through a laugh.

Regina rolls her eyes and scoffs, "Only if pigs hop."

"They might," Emma replies.

"God you're an idiot sometimes," Regina says affectionately before leaning in to kiss Emma again. There's that rush from earlier, the rush they both feel every time their lips meet. It's a spark of love and desire and pure want for one another in all ways. It's a kiss that makes them feel like they have found their missing piece and each kiss comes with a sense of completion.

Emma smiles wrapping her arms around Regina's waist, "As long as I'm your idiot."

Regina smiles back, "So far, so good."

Emma nods before pressing her lips against Regina's in another soft, tender kiss, just light enough to ghost across Regina's mouth before whispering, "I love you."

Regina hugs her tightly before moving her head to rest against Emma's shoulder. She revels in the warmth and safety of Emma's embrace – an embrace she's missed for so long. When Emma holds her she feels at home and protected and cherished and it's a feeling she only finds in Emma. It's a feeling that reminds her she's right where she needs to be. She scoots into the embrace never wanting to let go again. She moves her lips to brush against Emma's ear, "I love you too."

* * *

"Mama Emma…" Lila whispers poking her blonde mother in the cheek until Emma stirs. Emma blinks sleepily before cracking an eye open to meet the sight of her onesie clad toddler. She can't help but smile at the bedhead Lila already suffers, so reminiscent of her brunette mother. Emma yawns as she sits up slowly. She reaches for her phone,  _6:07_ , and groans. She guess she better get used to early starts to her day – if it's her daughter waking her up it's worth it though.

"Morning Lila Bug," she says before opening her arms for a hug. Lila beams at her before hopping onto the bed and hugging Emma tightly.

"Morning Mama Emma," she sings happily before looking at her seriously, "Did you keep Mommy out late?"

Emma frowns, "What makes you say that?"

"'Cause no-one is up. Henry is being a lazybones but Mommy is  _always_ up but today she still sleeping so you musta kept her out weally late."

Emma chuckles at the toddler logic before grinning conspiratorially at her daughter, "Maybe Mommy's secretly a lazybones too?"

Lila gasps, "Mama Emma!" she says in a shocked voice, "Mommy is not a lazybones. She a not lazybones."

Emma smiles, "Okay, so you think I kept Mommy up too late?"

"Well it 'pends," Lila says.

"Depends on what?"

Lila smiles, "Did Mommy have a good time? Did you take her on the bestest date ever?"

Emma smiles back at her, "I hope so Lila."

"Me too 'cause Mommy is happy with you now and I like it when Mommy's happy."

Emma nods, "I like it too."

* * *

Emma presses a finger to her lips as she carries Lila towards Regina's room. The toddler giggles before miming zipping her lips shut. Emma grins before gently nudging the door open. Her smile grows even wider at the sight that meets them.  _She still sleeps the same way_  Emma thinks as she sees Regina sprawled over the bed even with her bad leg. The sheets are crumpled and wrapped around her. Her head rests on the pillow, dark curls covering it and Regina's face. One arm is draped across her middle whilst the other lolls over the edge of the bed.

Emma's heart skips a beat at the adorable sight and it's another moment that she wants to see for the rest of her mornings. She turns to Lila and nods before setting the little girl down. She and Lila slide down onto their hands and knees before quietly creeping across the room.

"Now?" Lila asks in a whisper and Emma nods. They both jump up yelling, "Wakey wakey sleepyhead!"

Regina wakes with a start yelping to a sit before glaring down at the two who have just woken her up. The glare loses all effect though given the ruffled hair falling across her face and her tank top pyjamas with a picture of Thumper on them (a gift from Lila and Ruby one Christmas). Emma and Lila can't help but laugh.

Lila leaps up to tackle her mother with a hug kissing her on the cheek, "Morning Mommy! You up now?"

Regina rubs the sleep on her eyes before smiling at the tot, "I guess so Boo Bear."

"I woked Mama Emma up," Lila says proudly and Regina chuckles before looking to the blonde on the floor, "You did?"

"She did," Emma confirms, "Bright and early at 6:07am."

"Early?" Regina questions, "That's late for Lila."

"And apparently this is late for you. I was told off for keeping you out too late."

"You wasn't!" Lila cries out, "I askeded you and then you said you and Mommy had fun so I said it was okay you kept her out so late."

Regina laughs at the explanation before kissing the side of her head and hugging her, "You looking out for me baby girl?"

Lila nods, "Yep. I like it when you're happy Mommy so I had to make sure Mama Emma was making you happy so we can stay with her and Henwy and Aunty Ruby and Grandpa David forever and ever."

Regina smiles at her words before looking seriously at her, "Would you like that then? If we stayed with Emma and Henry?"

Lila nods again, "It would be the bestest thing ever 'cause we all love each other and we'd all be togeffer and happy."

Emma grins at her words before leaning up and meeting Regina's gaze over the top of their daughter's head. She may not know whether or not Regina plans to go back to Boston or not but what she does know for sure is that she wants what Lila just told them. Their daughter's words summed up exactly what Emma hopes for them.

She smiles at Regina, "I've gotta agree with Lila on this one."

Regina cracks a smile, "You do, do you?"

"I do," Emma replies before leaning across to kiss her briefly and sweetly. Regina smiles kissing her back before saying, "It does sound rather nice doesn't it?"

* * *

"There he is," Emma calls out with a wide grin as Henry stumbles into the kitchen rubbing his eyes tiredly. He yawns before rolling his eyes at his blonde mother, "It's only eight. Why are you up so early?"

Emma laughs, "Eight? That's practically the afternoon."

"Lazybones," Lila chimes in.

Henry ruffles her hair before grinning, "Remember who can buy you ice-cream munchkin," he teases and Lila gasps, "No ice-cream?"

Henry smiles at her, "There'll still be ice-cream. I'm just kidding Lila."

"Don't joke 'bout ice-cream Henwy," Lila says in an authoritative tone that has Emma and Regina laughing once more. Henry turns to look at them and smiles noticing how their hands are linked atop the table and the way they both have that twinkle in their eyes. They used to look at each other like that all the time and he's glad they have that look back.

"I won't," he promises before sitting down next to his younger sister. He hopes that his Mom does decide to stay with them all. Even if she didn't he'd still make the effort to see his Mom and Lila but he wants them all to be together. He loves having both his Moms back in his life and he's enjoying being a big brother. He doesn't want to be apart from his family again now.

"So how was the date?" he asks with a hint of trepidation as he hopes the answer is good. Judging from the shared happy look and the hand-holding he's guessing it did but he'll ask anyway. The first time round he ignored their relationship and tried to tear it apart. This time he wants to be a part of their family and to him that means actively trying to be a part of it and showing an interest.

His Mom smiles looking at him before gazing intently at his Ma who meets her gaze and smiles brightly at her. It's a look Henry recognises as love, a look where the rest of the world seems to dissolve for a moment and they just simply captivate each other. It lasts only for a moment but it's enough to tell Henry the answer to his question.

"It was incredible," Regina says, "Exactly what I hoped it would be."

Emma grins and Regina turns to kiss her softly. "What did you hope it would be?" Emma asks.

"A beginning to our happy ending."

_Thanks for reading :) I know this chapter's a bit shorter but I wanted to keep it fluffy............for now anyway! Hope you all enjoyed :)_


	24. Chapter Twenty-Four

_Thank you for the response to the last chapter. Things are a little less fluffier this time but it's needed to get to the ending of this story (which will be soon-ish). Apologies for any mistakes. I don't own Once or its characters. Hope you enjoy this part :)_

Regina smiles to herself as she settles onto Archie's beat-up old couch. It's been two weeks since her first date with Emma and she couldn't be happier. They've been on several dates since then, her leg is healing, she's loving being there for all of the family moments with Lila and Henry, to keep it short she's happy.

Happier than she's ever been in a long time.

She was dreading returning to Storybrooke. She thought it would mean pain and misery and result in nothing more than further heartache. She knew coming back to Storybrooke would mean confronting old demons and whilst it was necessary she never believed it could work out like this. She was terrified of finding a town unchanged full of people unwilling to believe she even deserved a chance.

What she found was completely different. Yes, there are those, mostly those deeply devoted to Snow, who shoot her suspicious looks and refuse to speak to her. Regina finds that it doesn't bother her as much as she expected to. Three years ago it upset her more than she ever let anyone know. All she had wanted was their respect and love, two things that were given so easily to Snow while she was pushed into the shadows. Nowadays she doesn't care if they glare at her or ask for another waitress at Granny's because she has the love and respect of the people who matter most to her and for Regina that is more important than Grumpy giving her the evil eye.

Coming back to Storybrooke gave her the unexpected hope of a happy ending. It was something she had dreamt of but never truly let herself believe in. Once she and Emma drifted away from each other the first time she didn't believe she could find happiness in this town ever again. Now she knows different. Time has changed them all much and in returning to Storybrooke she got to know Emma and Henry again and in doing so her heart found what it had been wanting for without her even knowing it.

She knows her six weeks are almost up. Her time here is measured in days rather than months and weeks and she loathes it. Regina knows she needs to make a decision and fast and yet she's still holding back. She's happy here yes but that happiness is mostly due to reuniting with Emma and Henry.

That happiness however does not have to be here in this town though. Whilst she loves being back here she doesn't know if she wants their future to be in a place that has brought them all so much pain. Yes it has brought them joy too but is it enough joy to keep them all here? Without a doubt she knows she wants them all to stay together whether it be Storybrooke or Boston or New York.

"How are things going Regina?" Archie asks curious as to why she wanted a private session.

Regina offers up a small smile, "Good. I'm happy. I think things are going well with Emma so far."

"They are? Are you two still communicating well?"

Regina nods, "We are. I don't think either one of us wants to fall into the trap of ignoring the past and just diving into the future. Emma understands we have a long way to go and so far we're just taking it slow, going on dates and spending time with one another again, just the two of us."

"And how has that been?"

This time her smile is bright, "Wonderful. It's the way it should have been. It's the way I wanted us to be."

"That's excellent news," Archie says with a pleased grin, "So what brings you here today? Are you worried about Snow?"

Regina frowns slightly, "A little but it's not why I'm here. I think my main concerns about Snow are for Henry and Emma."

"They are?"

She nods, "She's Emma's mother and Henry's grandmother and once again they're being forced into the middle of a decades-old feud. It's not fair on them to have to choose between me and Snow."

"Are you worried about their choice?"

She pauses biting down on her bottom lip, "Sometimes I worry that one day Emma or Henry will wake up, be it a few days or weeks or even years down the line and regret it but then I look at us. I look at us as we enjoy movie nights together or go to Granny's for milkshakes and I know in my heart that none of us are giving up on each other anymore. What I worry about most is them losing her. She hurt them by hurting me but she's still their family and they still love her and they're losing her. It hurts them and it hurts to watch that and not be able to do anything about it."

He smiles sympathetically, "Regina, Snow's decisions are her own. Like you, if she chooses to change the path she is on it will be down to her and unfortunately no matter how painful it may be we have to let her choose that path herself. As for Henry and Emma the best thing you can do for them is to be there and support whatever choice they make regarding Snow."

She nods, "I can do that."

"You said your main concern wasn't Snow so what brings you here to me today?"

"I only have a few days to decide whether or not to stay in Storybrooke or go back to Boston or maybe even elsewhere."

Archie nods, "Okay. Do you know where you're leaning towards?"

She sighs, "I think I do but I'm worried."

"Why?"

"What if I'm being selfish?"

Archie cocks his head in confusion, "How would you be being selfish?"

"I want to go," Regina admits, "I want us to be happy and I just, I don't think I want us to live here. This place has brought me so much pain and misery and whilst there are a lot of happy memories there are just as many bad ones. I don't think I want us to live a future where we constantly tread over the ghosts of our past. I want us all to have a fresh start."

"Why would that be selfish Regina?"

"Because it would mean taking Emma and Henry away from everything. Storybrooke is the place where Emma found her family and her first real home. She has friends, family, a job and a home. They have everything here. Henry too grew up here. He doesn't know anywhere else. I just worry that I'm being selfish in asking them to uproot their lives because I don't want to stay."

"Regina you're not being selfish in wanting to leave."

"Aren't I? I think they'd all be happy to stay. Lila loves it here. She loves being close to Granny and Ruby and Charming and so do I.I do. I love being back here because it's renewed my hope for our happy ending and I've reconnected with Henry and Emma. I've been able to spend more time with my family and seen that things have changed here in this town. At the same time I feel like this place isn't where I belong anymore. It just doesn't feel like it's where I want to build a home and a life."

"What about Granny, Ruby and Charming?"

Regina sighs, "I know we can always visit and I don't really want to move miles away because I do want to be closer to them than I was. I'm scared that if I make Emma and Henry move away they'll resent me for taking them away from their life. I don't want to be the one who makes them come away from everything they know and have. I want us to be happy rather than resenting one another and I fear that if I ask them to move they will one day resent me for it and rather than be happy we'll all end up right back where we started."

Archie nods in understanding, "Regina, I think you know as well as I do that for Emma and Henry, Storybrooke isn't everything. Yes they have a lot here but where you as a family live has to be somewhere you are  _all_  happy. Not two of you, not one or three of you but all four of you. You can visit Storybrooke and keep in touch with your family but if you genuinely believe you don't want to live here then you know who you need to talk to."

Regina nods with a small sigh, "I do."

"You came here to stall didn't you?"

She cracks a small smile, "A little but also to figure out what I should do. When I came here to Storybrooke and started coming here to see you with Emma I found it easier to talk here and in doing so I was able to realise what I wanted to say. I thought maybe if I came here today then I'd finally be able to voice it. Is that crazy?"

He shakes his head, "No. It just means you feel comfortable and safe here and that you're human, you just need a safe place to puzzle out what you want and feel. If coming here helps you make that decision then that's absolutely fine."

Regina smiles, "Thank you Archie. You've been a great help."

"I'm glad I could be," he says, "You and Emma have come a long way and I hope that no matter where you all end up living you stay in touch."

"I will," Regina promises, "I need to talk to Emma."

He nods, "Absolutely. I know you're afraid of her resentment but the only way to soothe that is to talk to her. I could sit here and tell you that your happiness is one of the most important things to Emma and that Emma would go wherever you wanted but you don't need to hear it from me. You need to hear it from Emma."

* * *

Charming smiles as he sits down opposite his daughter in Granny's Diner. The apartment was out of the question since Snow is back there – he is not because at the moment he simply can't be. The station too was not an option since Snow or one her allies comes in demanding charges against her be dropped. Granny's is a safe place. He knows in here no-one would dare risk suggesting Snow be let off lest Granny have them removed.

"Hey Dad," Emma says giving him a hug before sitting down.

"Hi Emma," he replies before pushing the mug of cocoa towards her. She grins taking a sip before looking at him seriously, "So you sounded kinda serious on the phone?"

He shrugs, "I suppose I was. I wanted to have lunch with you anyway but I thought whilst we did we could talk. We need to talk."

She shifts uneasily in her seat before folding her hands around her cocoa mug to protect herself. Her mind fills with worst outcomes – him telling her to stay away from Regina and parroting whatever Snow wishes – it won't happen but part of her still dreads that that day could return. She doesn't believe it will but in the darkest corners of her mind it is her greatest fear.

Luckily it doesn't come to life today.

"The six weeks are nearly up," he says, "How is Regina?"

Emma smiles brightly thinking about the wonderful moments they've shared and the progress made. They're taking baby steps but they feel like a couple and a family once more. They've made sure to keep talking whilst still enjoying the fun, romantic moments like dates and commemorating milestones. Her smile gives Charming his answer yet she tells him anyway, "She's great. She's really great. The doctor says her leg is healing well too."

He smiles back finding her cheer infectious. His own marriage may be a source of misery and pain right now but his daughter's happiness is more important to him. "That's excellent. Do you two know what you're going to do yet?"

She pauses chewing her bottom lip, "I don't know. I tried to ask her the other day but she keeps avoiding the issue. I think she knows what she wants but doesn't know how to tell me yet."

"Do you know what you want?"

Emma nods feeling a little guilty about this choice. At her expression Charming nods in understanding, "I'm going to give you something I should have given you years ago."

"What's that?"

"My blessing," he says, "I know you might not need or want it but I need to give it to you. Years ago I did something I never wanted to do, I impeded your happiness rather than encouraging you to fight for it. I became a reason for you to be miserable and hide who you truly were and that was one of the worst things I could ever do, I became the kind of parent I never wanted to be. You might not want it but I want to give you my blessing. It's okay to leave town Emma. I will be fine. Your mother and I, well I don't know what will happen there, we may work through things and stay together, we might not. Either way I will be okay. You don't need to worry about me Emma because I know wherever you go we will stay in touch. We'll call and visit and we'll make sure to still be in our lives, we're family and that means we'll fight to stay in each other's lives. It's okay to be happy Emma. It's okay to make a choice for you and your relationship and your children. You all need a fresh start and that's fine. I know you feel like you need to be the hero and sacrifice yourself for everyone else but you don't. You can be happy too and I want you to be. Whether you choose to stay or go I will support you okay?"

Emma smiles feeling tears spring into her eyes. She gets up reaching across the table to hug him tightly, "Thank you," she says. She never knew she wanted his blessing but she did. She might not have needed it but having it is wonderful. It's nice to have a parent who supports her and wants her to be happy. It reminds her she's loved and cared for and truthfully it's all she wanted from her family. "I love you," she says, "and no matter where I go that will never change."

Charming smiles widely, "I love you too. Now go talk to Regina."

* * *

"Again!" Lila cries out as Henry pushes her on the swing. He chuckles before pushing her once more, "Higher?" he asks. She nods furiously, "To the sky!"

He laughs again, "I'm not sure you want go that high."

"I want to go to the moon and back," Lila declares with a squeal of excitement as she swings faster. Henry catches the swing stilling them before moving to sit on the swing beside her. The six weeks are almost up and he knows what that means, it means they're either staying or going.

"Are you okay?" Lila asks curiously folding her legs beneath herself.

He nods, "I am. I guess I just wanted to talk to you."

The three year old shoots him a serious look that is so reminiscent of Regina that it's spooky, "So talk." He chuckles at the blunt phrasing, "Six weeks went by really fast," he says with a slightly sad tone. He can't believe how quick it all went. A lot has happened in six weeks and he doesn't want their story to end here. He wants both his Moms in his life and his little sister too. They're all happy now and he wants that to continue.

Lila shrugs not really sure where's going with this, "Okay."

"Mommy has to decide whether or not to go back to Boston."

"Oh," she says quietly, "No more Storybrooke?"

Henry shakes his head, "Well we'd all come back to visit because Granny and Ruby and Grandpa all live here."

"But we would live somewhere else?"

He nods.

"All together?" she asks hopefully.

He smiles, "I hope so."

"Me too. I like it when Mommy, Mama Emma, me and you are all in the same house," Lila declares happily, "Would you come if we went away?"

"I'd want to," Henry says, "I've never lived anywhere else so it'd be weird at first but I think maybe we could all do with moving somewhere new and just being a family together without the drama of this town."

Lila nods though she doesn't understand everything he's saying, "I don't care where we live," she says, "So long as we stay together."

"Same," Henry says before reaching across to link pinky fingers with Lila, "I promise that no matter what I will try to be the best big brother ever."

Lila grins at the pinky promise before replying, "And I'm gonna be an awesome little sister!"

"You already are kid," Henry says quietly before getting up to push her on the swing once more.

* * *

Emma shuts the door behind her with a slightly nervous expression. She wrings her hands together before stepping into the house and shrugging her coat off her shoulders. She's stalling a little and she knows it but she's nervous. What if Regina doesn't want to go? She wants them both to be on the same page on this. She fluffs her hair out before taking a deep breath before walking into the living room to find Regina on the couch. Seeing her there huddled under a blanket as she tries, and fails, not to cry at The Lion King, brings a smile to her face. Emma slides down onto the couch looping her arm over Regina's shoulders and bringing the other woman closer to her.

"You okay?" Emma asks.

"Mufasa," Regina replies and Emma nods in understanding. She loves the feeling of holding Regina in her arms and the way her girlfriend nestles into the crook of her neck. Her nerves disappear in that moment and she knows that whether or not Regina wants to stay or not that what matters most to her is that they're together.

"Can we talk?" she asks.

Regina shuffles up before switching her go to movie off. She repositions herself so that she can look Emma in the eyes, "I think we need to. The six weeks are almost up," she says as a means to begin this conversation.

Emma nods, "That they are."

A small silent pause settles between them as neither one of them knows how to voice this. In the end Regina takes a deep breath before looking at Emma, "I love you," she begins, "I do but what I fear most is you resenting me and pushing me away again. I don't want to make this decision and have it not be what you want. I don't want to lose you again."

"You won't," Emma reassures her, "No matter what happens we are not losing each other. It's taken us so long to find each other again and after all that's happened in the past six weeks I cannot lose you again. I love you too and when you came back I knew what I had been longing for, not just for three years but my entire life. All I wanted was a family and love and here with you, Lila and Henry I have that. This is a choice we need to make together and I won't resent you no matter what happens because it won't be one of us deciding for the other but a decision we make as a couple and a family."

Regina nods, “Then let’s say it together. Stay or go. On three, one, two, three….”

“Go,” they both say and Regina looks up to smile at her, “You want to leave?”

“I do,” Emma says.

“Your life is here. You always told me this is where you found your home and your family and I don’t want to be the one to take you away from all that.”

Emma smiles, “Oh Regina, can’t you see that my home and my family and my heart is all tied into you? My home is not in Storybrooke. It’s with you, Lila and Henry. That’s my home. That’s all I want and I want us to work. I want us to have our happy ending and I think to do it we need a fresh start. I know we said no running but I don’t think it is. We’re not running from the past. We’re just trying to be happy.” 

_Thanks for reading :)_


	25. Chapter Twenty-Five

_Sorry for the delay (life is hectic and I just had a wisdom tooth out as well!). Thank you all for your response to the last chapter and the fic so far. This will be the last chapter unless you guys want a fluffy epilogue of course...I don't own Once or its characters. Apologies for any mistakes and hope you all enjoy :)_

Regina smiles looking around the table. They're having a family meeting to break the news that they will be leaving town and as she looks at the people there she can't help the grin that lights up her face.

In the early years of the curse there was no-one and the loneliness ate away at the hole in her heart.

Then there was Henry and she had a family. The hole stitched itself back together through laughter and the hugs of her son.

Ten years later Emma Swan came to town and showed her family in a different way, gave her love in a way that she never expected. In Emma her heart found its perfect match.

Then she left and for a little while there was no-one. There was the expectation of a someone but with every day alone her heart tore itself apart a little more.

Ruby and Granny were the ones who reached out to her and suddenly she found herself with more family than she'd ever had. She had a daughter, Ruby who she thinks of as a sister and Granny who is the closest thing she has to a mother. In them she found the hope and support she needed to carry on.

Now here they are and she feels complete. Aside from Snow, they're all together. Charming, Ruby, Granny, Lila, Henry and Emma and the fact that her family meeting has all of them is what makes her heart beat happily and keeps that smile on her lips. She loves them all so much and sitting here she knows she is loved easily as much as she loves.

She turns to Emma with a bright and easy grin before squeezing her hand, "Ready?" she mouths. Emma nods without hesitation. Part of her still wishes there was one more person round this table, part of her always will but Emma knows that right now she's surrounded by the people who truly care and love about her. One day Snow might come around, Emma won't lose that hope but as for today and the future she has all she needs.

"Okay," she says, "I'm sure you're wondering why you're all here?"

"Am I getting a new sister?" Lila asks curiously.

Regina coughs on her drink before looking at her daughter, "What?"

"I wanna baby sister."

"No, we want a baby brother," Henry says with a nudge.

Lila scrunches up her face, "No," she says indignantly, "I have a brother silly, you my brother. Now I need a sister."

"Are you pregnant again?" Granny asks looking Regina up and down. Regina blushes before shaking her head, "I have a broken leg."

"So?" Ruby asks, "You're not dead!"

"We're taking it slow," Emma says with a blush to match Regina's. Regina smiles scooting subconsciously closer to Emma, "She's right. We're beginning again and we're taking it slow. I'm sure one day we will have a baby."

"Babies," Emma adds hopefully, "I want a soccer team of babies."

"Then I hope you're going to carry some more dear," Regina replies with a cheeky grin, "Anyway I am not pregnant yet."

"Aw," Lila whines, "Can I have a sister for Christmas then?"

Regina chuckles, "We'll see."

"So why are we here?" Charming asks. He has a feeling he knows already judging from the lunch he and Emma shared the other day but still he knows this moment is a big one. For him being a person they invite to a family meeting is wonderful. He doesn't care where they live so long as they remain a family. He knows he'll fight to stay a part of Emma and Regina's family no matter what.

"Well as you know Granny I came here for the six weeks that you were on bed rest."

"Unnecessary bed rest," Granny frowns to which both Ruby and Regina give her a stern look. She scoffs, "Whale gave me the all clear. I'm fine. I'll be back at the Diner tomorrow."

"Exactly. These six weeks gave me exactly what I needed. They gave me, us, a chance to gain closure and figure out the future we went and it was an incredible time and a time that has to give way to a new one. As you know I had to decide where I wanted to be at the end of these six weeks and Emma and I know what we want. Here in Storybrooke I found love again, I have family and hope and light and everything I've ever wanted but I, and Emma, think that in order for us to keep that we need to be elsewhere. We need a fresh start and so we're leaving Storybrooke."

Henry is the first to speak, "We are? Where are we going?"

Emma shrugs, "We don't know yet. We want it to be a place you, Lila, me and Regina pick together. It's going to be our home kid so it's down to all of us to choose one. Are you okay with leaving?"

He nods, "I think it will be good for all of us. I've lived here all my life yeah, but I think right now maybe we could do with a change as long as we don't go too far."

Regina smiles, "We'll never be far Henry. We still have family here so we're still going to visit."

Henry nods, "Good."

"So you're happy for us to go?"

He nods again, "Mom I want us all to be happy and whilst we were once, I think we just have too much stuff here in Storybrooke. We've got so many bad memories and so much past that we need a break. We need to be somewhere where we're building a present or a future not just retracing the past. I know it's important and all but I worry sometimes that we could get dragged down in it and I don't want that."

"We want you two to be happy forever and ever," Lila adds.

Regina and Emma's smiles grow wider. It's what they both want too and to have the support of their family is wonderful. "Are you okay with moving Lila Bug?"

Lila nods excitedly, "I wanna house that's all of ours."

"The Swan-Mills house," Henry tells her and both his mothers grin. It's a dream they had years ago and now it's finally coming to life.

Regina turns to Granny and Ruby feeling tears spring into her eyes. These past six weeks having them so close have been incredible. To her they were family before but the six weeks drew them even closer and she felt even more of a part of something. Although she knows they'll never lose that, neither of them would let each other, she can't help but feel sadness at leaving them.

In the end she doesn't need to say anything because both Granny and Ruby stand and walk around the table to pull her in for a hug.

"I'm gonna miss you," Ruby admits, "It's been really cool having you around."

Regina chuckles holding them both tight, "Just cool?"

"Shut up," Ruby says with an eye-roll, "Fine I've loved having my sister here."

"Sister?"

"You know how I feel about you Regina."

"I know, we just don't say it very often."

Granny tuts, "You two are useless, you really are. It's a wonder I don't have to knock your heads together."

They both laugh before Regina turns to Ruby, "Keep an eye on her."

"I don't need keeping an eye on," Granny huffs defiantly.

"Well we will anyway," Ruby replies, "We want to keep you around after all."

"I'll be around for years yet," she says before kissing the top of Regina's head, "I'm proud of you," she whispers, "and no matter where you choose to go you know you'll always have family here with us."

Regina smiles letting a few errant tears fall, "I love you two," she says, "I'm going to visit all the time. You'll be sick of me."

Granny smiles kindly at her, "Never."

Across the table Charming hugs Emma whilst Lila and Henry talk animatedly about what kind of house they're going to get. As Lila runs off to grab some crayons so she can draw a plan for their house Charming smiles at his daughter, "No matter where you go you'll always know where to find me."

Emma smiles at the family catchphrase, "Just a phone call, town or magical portal away."

Charming chuckles, "Hopefully no more magic portals. I think I'll be in this town long-haul."

"Then I'll always have a reason to come back and visit."

"Good," he says, "I'm so proud of you Emma. You've come so far in the past few years and I can honestly say that you are the best daughter I could ever have hoped for you to be. I love you and being a part of your family is the best thing to me."

"You always will be," Emma promises.

They break the hug and Emma moves back towards Regina sitting down beside her once more. She turns giving Regina a brief peck on the cheek before kissing her lips softly, "I love you."

"I love you to the moon and back and maybe even further," Regina replies with a bright smile kissing Emma back before they turn to face their children.

"We did it," Emma says, "We found our forever."

* * *

_Our House_ is written carefully in pink crayon along the top of the page. The rest is taken up with a large house also coloured in pink with a note from Henry,  _Please don't buy a pink house!_ There's a big red door with a random assortment of windows scattered along the walls.

Lila's main focus has been the garden. Green fills the bottom of the page as do various coloured flowers of red, white, yellow and pink. There's a bright yellow sun in the corner of the page with an added hat and sunglasses a la Henry.

Standing on the garden is the best part of the picture. On the grass are four people and a stuffed animal. Lila clings to her teddy in the drawing whilst holding her big brother's hand. The stickperson version of himself reaches the roof which Henry declared "awesome" to his sister's pride. The other two stick people each have an arm around the other with their heads resting against each other.

All four of them wear big pencil smiles as they stand outside the first imagining of their house.

* * *

Emma walks into the station for her last ever day to find her mother sitting at her desk waiting for her. Emma knows she was released a few days ago into the custody of the fairies though she doubts they'll keep much check of her. Hell Emma doubts the case will even go to any kind of punishment once she leaves town but her main priority is getting her family safe. She trusts Ruby and Granny and their other friends to make sure Snow can never hurt them again.

She sighs before entering her office and walking round to her side of the desk. Emma takes a few moments to collect herself busying herself by booting up her computer and checking the mail in her in-tray. She'll start this conversation when she's ready and not a minute sooner. There's only one thing she wants to hear from Snow and she doesn't know if she's going to. All she can do is relax and think of her safe place – her home with Regina and their kids.

It takes a few minutes before she turns to face her mother, "So what do you want?"

"I heard you're leaving town," Snow says quietly observing her daughter. It's taken a lot, too much, for her to realise what she has done to Emma, what she had become but she has now and all she can pray is that it isn't too late. She dreads that it is.

"That's right," Emma replies.

"Where are you going?"

"None of your business," Emma replies. They're not going far. In the end they found a lovely little house in the next town over. They all fell in love with it the second they saw it. It's two-storey five-bedroom house with a beautiful master bedroom with an ensuite and four guest rooms or as Lila described them, "two bedrooms and two playrooms!" The kitchen was just pure Regina, all modern, fancy equipment but with soft lighting and a gorgeous family dining table. The rest of the bottom floor was a massive lounge, half of which they've turned into a sort of study for school and work and the other half is a relaxation, lazing in the evening kind of space.

What sold it for them was the garden. There was a nice patio space perfect for barbecues or lounging on summer evenings. Lila and Henry both gasped in excitement upon seeing the massive tree in the back corner which was immediately declared the perfect spot for a treehouse/operations fort. Surrounding the luscious lawn was an assortment of flowers which had Regina's eyes lighting up.

There and then in that garden their eyes met and they knew. They watched Lila and Henry chasing each other round the grass and could tell in an instant that this was their home.

Snow nods, "That's fair enough."

"So why are you here? Planning some last-ditch attempt to stop me leaving? It won't work Snow. I'm going. I know where I belong and it's with my family in a home we chose together."

"I know," Snow replies quietly.

"What?" Emma asks taken aback. She was expecting hostility and threats and lord knows what else but not that.

"I know," Snow repeats, "I know it's taken me too long to realise this Emma and that it's probably too late but I need to tell you anyway. It took hearing you were leaving for me to gain some clarity and I wish that it hadn't taken so long but I can't change that. All I can do is apologise. Hearing you were going made me see what I'd done, I pushed you away. I threatened someone you love and so you knew you had to go. You had to make the right decision for your family and you did making you braver and wiser than I am. I'm so proud of you Emma, I am. You grew into a beautiful, funny, smart young woman and I missed it and rather than enjoying who you are I wanted you to be what I had dreamed of. You aren't, you're better and I didn't appreciate that which will always be the biggest regret of my life. You love your family and you protect them and for that you know better than me. I didn't want you to date Regina because I was caught up on the evil in her past. Knowing I pushed you away made me realise the darkness in myself. It's taken me too long to see clearly but I think that if I can have that darkness in me then Regina can have light too."

Emma smiles, "She does, a lot of it."

Snow nods, "She does and I want to try Emma. I want to try to see that if you'll let me. I know that it won't happen now. I need some time, I think we all do to move on and build a future. I need to talk to Archie and work through what I've done and prove that I deserve to be a part of that wonderful family you have. One day I hope to be a part of it but only if you want me to."

Emma nods taking it all in. It will certainly never happen right now, what happened is too recent, Regina is still healing and all of them need time to process what Snow did and to recover. Emma knows that her mother can't just jump back into their lives either. She and Regina didn't, they worked through their past and went through therapy and will continue to do so for as long as they need. Finally she nods again, "Maybe one day," she says, "Not today but maybe one day."

She wishes it hadn't take Snow so long to realise what she had been trying to tell her for so long – that they are not just light and dark but both. Emma wishes her mother had reached this kind of clarity before but wishing will not make it so. She can only accept this new change and hope that it sticks. She offers her mother one small smile before walking away, they both have futures to start and Emma can't wait for hers to continue.

* * *

The car sits at the town line. Regina shifts in her seat with a smile, so unlike how she was three years ago. All those years ago she sat at this line filled with nerves and sorrow. Now her nerves come from excitement and anticipation. She meets Emma's eyes in the rearview mirror and the blonde grins at her. She grins back before tapping her seat.

"You okay?" Emma asks.

"Why do I have to sit in the back?"

"Because your leg is still in a cast," Henry replies, "So you kind of have to."

Lila gasps indignantly, "Henwy!" she yells dramatically, "Mommy has the bestest seat in the car!"

"Why's that boo bear?" Emma asks with a chuckle at her little girl.

"'Cause she's next to me," Lila says with a wide smile.

Regina smiles at the answer before leaning across and kissing her daughter's forehead, "I have the best seat."

"I still wish we'd taken the Bug," Emma grumbles.

Regina rolls her eyes, "We couldn't get both me and the car sear in it Em. Besides which your father is towing it up to the house tomorrow so you won't be far from your precious Bug long."

"I bet you'll miss that car more than I will."

At that Regina laughs and the children join in too. Soon Emma can't help but laugh as well caught up in the infectious cheer of her family. In the moment of pure happiness she starts the car knowing it's the best way to begin this journey to their new home.

"Goodbye Storybrooke," she says quietly. She doesn't normally say goodbye, no place has ever meant enough for her to want to but in this town she found her parents, her love and her family. She found what she had wanted for her whole life and in her heart that made it goodbye worthy.

"Goodbye Storybrooke," Regina repeats. When she left three years ago she thought she was closing a chapter of her life but she wasn't. She left it open and so she could return to the pages and resolve them. Now as the cross the line she feels like she doesn't feel like she's resigning herself to a loss. She knows they'll be back – Granny and Ruby would hunt her down if she didn't. Even if they wouldn't, Storybrooke will always be in her memory as the place she re-found her happy ending. Now as they leave she knows they're simply continuing their story.

"Bye!" Lila singsongs. She wasn't there long but it's where her family got back together and so for her it will always be important. For her though she simply cannot wait to get to their house.

"Bye," Henry echoes. This was his only home for so long and it feels strange to leave but a good kind of strange. For years he resented being unable to leave, then after going to the Enchanted Forest all he wanted to do was return. He realised quickly though that it wasn't the place he missed, but his mom. Now he's happy for them to leave and fight for a happy ending in a house that is theirs, their first true home with all of them.

* * *

They reach their new home in about forty minutes and Emma smiles as she pulls the car into their driveway. She grins up at their home and knows it feels right. She feared that perhaps once they got here it wouldn't feel the same but that fear has not come true. Sitting here in the drive staring up at the house she knows this is her home, their home.

"We're home," Regina says with a bright smile leaning forward to kiss Emma lovingly. Henry hurries out of the car before racing around and helping Lila out, "Come on Lila, let's go pick our rooms."

"I want the one with the bathroom!"

Emma laughs, "That's ours munchkin!"

"You snooze, you lose, Ma," Henry calls out unlocking the door and running in after Lila. Emma laughs again before turning to Regina, "We might need to get in there fast if we want to save our bedroom."

Regina laughs, "They're crazy sometimes aren't they?"

"Yeah but they're adorable enough to get away with it," Emma replies.

"That they are," Regina says with a pause before looking back up at her, "We did it Emma."

"What?"

"We got out happy ending back. This," she says gesturing to the house, "is all I ever wanted for us. A home that was ours where we make our memories and raise our family."

"Me too," Emma admits, "And whilst I wish we'd be able to have it then I'm so thrilled that we're able to have it now. I love you and I think we're going to be happy here."

"It's up to us to make sure we are."

Emma nods before leaning across to kiss her sweetly, "I'm not stupid enough to lose you again."

"You better not be," Regina warns with a small playful smile.

Emma smiles back, "Right we should get in there and save our room."

"There's something we need to do first," Regina says as Emma helps out of the car. She leans against her before gesturing for her to walk to their post-box. Emma smiles as Regina pulls a permanent marker from her pocket, "We'll paint it properly soon but I figure this would do for our first day here," she says before writing on the box.

_Swan-Mills._

Emma smiles, "It's perfect."

_Thanks for reading :)_


	26. Epilogue

_Hi all, sorry for the wait, work has been hectic as of late! Thank you all for your reviews so far and thank you DefendMyGirlsHonor for the original prompt. I don't own Once or its characters. Apologies for any mistakes. Hope you all enjoy :)_

(A Year Later)

The alarm vibrates startling Emma from her peaceful sleep. As usual she glares at her offending phone before turning off the alarm and flipping back over to wrap her arms over her girlfriend. She smiles nestling her chin into silky dark curls and inhaling the sweet beautiful apple and cinnamon scent that is pure Regina. Emma sighs contently as she watches Regina sleep. She loves these moments before the day starts, where they just lay together in peace. Emma loves her family she does but it doesn't stop her enjoying the calm lull of the morning where she simply gets to be with her love and relax.

The moment doesn't last long, it never does. It never fails, five minutes after Emma's alarm goes off there'll be a pitter-patter of feet running down the hall, the door will open and Lila will pick one of them to wake up. Emma grins as right on cue she hears Lila whispering to her latest stuffed animal, an elephant with a pink jumper, as she decides which of them to get up.

Emma hopes it will be her because she has a surprise planned for her wife which won't go off unless she gets up first. This morning she sits up and scoots quietly to the door. As it opens she pokes her head round and whispers "Boo!" causing her daughter to jump before giggling, "Mama."

"Morning Boo Bear," Emma whispers before pressing her finger to her lips, "We need to shush. I have a surprise planned for Mommy."

"What kind of surprise?"

"A special anniversary of the day we moved here breakfast."

Lila's eyes widen and she smiles, "Yay! Can we make animal shaped pancakes and make special horsey shaped ones for Mommy?"

Emma nods ruffling her daughter's hair, "Sounds perfect Lila Bug. Shall we get Henry and get started?"

Lila nods, "Operation Breakfast is ago!" she whispers before reaching for Emma's hand and slowly tugging her along the hallway on her tiptoes. "Can we surprise wake up Henry?" Lila asks in a whisper and Emma nods with a chuckle, "Of course we can."

Lila grins before pushing his door open and they both stealth roll across the bedroom floor before kneeling at the side of the bed to peer up at a sleeping Henry. Emma and Lila share a conspiratorial grin before Emma tickles Henry's foot that is dangling from the bed. The teen grumbles before trying to stay sleeping.

Emma laughs before scooping Lila up, "SURPRISE LILA ATTACK!" she yells before dumping the toddler on top of her unsuspecting son and letting her daughter launch a tickle attack on her older brother until he wakes up with a laugh, "I surrender!" Henry yells as he sits up.

He yawns and stretches before looking at his blonde mother, "Ma. Why did ya get me up so early?"

"'Cause we making a surprise ann-anna-"

"Anniversary," Emma says to help her daughter along.

"Yeah one of those," Lila replies, "Breakfast for Mommy. We gonna have animal pancakes and apple pancakes and toast and chocolate and Jaffa Cakes."

"Whoa, whoa Lila bear," Emma chimes in, "I just said pancakes."

"Yeah but we need to make enough for when everyone else comes," Lila says.

Emma smiles, "Lila honey. We'll make lunch for when Grandpa, Granny and Aunty Ruby come."

"Can we still have jaffa cakes?"

"Yep," Emma replies knowing they have plenty in the house at the moment, "Now shall we get to the pancakes?"

* * *

As Emma cooks the pancakes she can't help but think. It's been a whole year since they moved and it's been one of the happiest of her life. She realised that the first time she and Regina dated they were with each other only eight months before the curse broke and it all went to hell. It's only now that they're finally having anniversaries and being happy for a long time and god Emma is so glad they finally reached this point. They've had a whole year. There's been ups and downs but no matter what they've stuck together, they've worked through problems and enjoyed so many good times and Emma can't wait for the rest of their years together.

_One year in our home_  Emma thinks with a smile as she begins moulding the pancakes into animal shapes. It took them a long time to decide whether or not to move and ultimately Emma is glad they did. It gave them all a chance to be a family away from the drama and ghosts of the past that remained in Storybrooke. Here they still have drama but it's things like Henry not doing his homework or the bins not going out on time. It's small domestic things but it's all the drama they need. They still have their own big romantic or personal dramas but moving away from Storybrooke gave them the freedom to just be Emma and Regina, no titles, no expectations or pressure from people who knew too much of their pasts – just the four of them figuring out how to be a family and loving each other.

Their home was bare when they first moved in but now it is undeniably their home. The walls are covered in photos of the four of them. They range from school portraits to photos of Henry and Regina when he was young to trips to Storybrooke and other places. They tell the story of a family united, growing and most of all happy.

Today is the first time Granny, Ruby and Charming are coming here. They've all seen each other over the past year but the four of them have either travelled to Storybrooke of they've met up to go to Boston or even further afield. Snow has yet to join them though Emma understands why. Her parents are back together now but it took six months of therapy, apologies and lengthy reflection for that to happen. They're working through things and Emma wonders if it will work out or not, truth be told all she wants if for her father to be happy. He stuck by her when she needed him and when Regina came back he was there which was all she ever wanted.

Her mother and her are still on shaky ground. She's spoken to Snow a handful of times now but she still doesn't really know what to say to her. They're making progress but it's slow and right now they're not ready for visits and Emma sure as hell doesn't want to push it and wreck whatever may be to come. Regina, she knows, has forgiven her mother. Her girlfriend on their latest trip to Storybrooke sat down and had a long conversation with Snow that ended with tears, forgiveness and hope for a fresh start.

It may not be as soon as Snow had hoped but they're getting there. Emma is working on forgiveness but it's tricky. She'll get there one day when she's ready, when her family is ready. She shakes her head trying to clear her mind of the drama and angst and reminds herself that today is a happy day.

"Granny, Grandpa and Aunty Ruby are definitely coming right?" Lila asks as Henry pours her a cup of orange juice.

Emma smiles as she turns to face her kids, "Yep, they're going to come see us and our home."

"Yay!" Lila squeals excitedly, "They have never ever been here before."

Henry nods, "That's right Lila Bug. Do you think they'll like it?" he asks looking at Emma. They've been back to Storybrooke and gone out to other places with the rest of their family but they've never come here and he can't help but be nervous. What if they don't like it or try to talk them into going back to Storybrooke? He doubts they will but he can't help but think of the worst. He loves it here in their new home, at first he was a little apprehensive about leaving the only place he's ever known but it's been a great change for all of them. This is their home, not Regina's and his, not Emma's and his but all of theirs and he loves it. He thinks his family will love it too once they see how happy they are.

He smiles to himself to keep his mind off fears that are unlikely to come true. After all his Grandpa, Granny and Ruby are coming to town which means laughter, fun and family time. He knows Snow won't come, he hasn't spoken to her much himself. She's called and he's given her a chance but he doesn't think he's ready to see her yet, maybe one day in the future but right now he's happy and so is the rest of his family and that's what matters most to him.

"What animal do you want kid?" Emma asks as she serves Lila an elephant pancake and a special chocolate chip boo bear pancake. Lila thanks her with a grin before licking her lips at her pancakes, "Are we having pancakes at the picnic?" she asks hopefully.

Emma chuckles, "I think they'll be enough sugar at the family picnic later."

"I agree," Regina says and they all turn to see her in the doorway. Emma smiles brightly at her, "Morning 'Gi," she says using her nickname for her girlfriend. Regina smiles back before walking across the kitchen and kissing her lovingly, "Morning Em."

"Morning Mommy!" Lila shouts, "I was gonna tickle you awake but Mama said not to."

Regina grins at her daughter ruffling her hair before kissing the top of her head, "Morning Lila Bug. Why wouldn't Mama let you tickle me awake? Good morning Henry," she says kissing the top of his head too.

"She tickled me awake."

"Yeah, cause we needed you for the surprise," Lila replies in a deadpan tone.

"Surprise?" Regina asks curiously.

Emma grins as she finishes writing the message in icing across her girlfriend's horse shaped pancake. She sets it down in front of Regina giving her another quick sweet kiss before smiling, "Happy Anniversary."

Regina smiles at the words.  _Happy Anniversary._ Every milestone they reach reminds her how far they've come as a couple and that today marks one year in their home as a couple. A whole year together and it's been wonderful. She's had happiness before with Henry and with Lila but this has been even better than she could ever have imagined. This year has been all four of them and it's incredible. She has what she's always wanted, all four of them together, in love and happy – a family. Her heart has never felt lighter and she rests her head on her ever growing stomach with a bright smile. This year has been incredible and she hopes it will just get better and better.

"Happy Anniversary," she replies, "I'd have been up sooner but our baby kept me awake all night."

Emma smiles placing her hand lovingly on the bump, "She's gonna play soccer."

"My baby sister kept you awake?" Lila asks, "How?"

Regina smiles at her, "She kicks."

Lila gasps, "She kicks you?! Naughty baby."

Henry laughs, "Lila, all babies kick. The baby moves in Mommy's tummy and it's good. It means they're alive and moving and energetic."

"Oh okay, does it hurt?"

Regina shakes her head, "No," she replies. It does a little but the happiness that soars in her heart each time their baby moves outweighs all of that. She looks around the table at her girlfriend, her son and her daughter and then down at her bump. Granny, Ruby and Charming are coming today. Her family will all be together and she loves them all, knowing that her family is growing is truly wonderful. This year in their home has been one of the best of her life and as she enjoys breakfast with her family she can't wait for what joys the future will bring them.

* * *

The doorbell rings and Lila practically leaps off the floor to go get the door causing both her mothers to laugh. "We should follow her," Regina says. Emma nods standing before offering Regina a hand which the brunette accepts gratefully before lifting herself off the chair. Emma smiles at her. "What?" Regina asks noticing the small sweet smile.

"You're so beautiful."

"I'm the size of a house, a house wearing maternity jeans and an old hoodie because nothing else fits."

Emma shakes her head, "Nope. Your hair is all long and flippy and gorgeous. Your face has that pretty pregnant glow and your smile is still the most beautiful thing I see every morning. You may say you're the size of a house but you're bigger because our baby's in there and I'll never not find that incredible. I love you Regina and I just wanted you to know that whilst we have a moment just the two of us."

Regina smiles back at her leaning across to kiss her, "I love you too. Four years ago I never imagined any of this could be possible. Now we have a family, a home and a baby on the way and I can't imagine my life without in it. I love you so much Emma and I'm so glad I gave you another chance."

"I will never stop being glad about that, even when we're old and grey and Lila and Henry are old and grey too."

Regina laughs, "I will love you to the end of time and even further."

Emma grins before finishing off their mantra, "And I'll love you to the moon and back."

They share another kiss before Lila comes running back in, "Mom!" she shouts, "Henry is in his room and I can't get the door open and Granny, Ruby and Grandpa are here so I need you to open the door. Come on!"

Emma chuckles at their daughter's excited babbling, "Okay she might have had a few too many pancakes…"

Regina giggles as Lila skips around their feet, "Just a few dear. Come on then Emma, we best get the door before this boo bear goes crazy!" She grins widely before swooping her hyper daughter up into her arms. These are the moments she lives for, the happy, fun ones where she can't stop smiling because her heart is simply overwhelmed by joy.

They move to the door to see Henry already pulling it open, "Got it already you slowpokes."

"I'm pregnant," Regina replies.

Ruby laughs as she walks in, "I bet that's your excuse for everything these days."

Regina rolls her eyes with a chuckle before hugging Ruby, "It's good to see you too Ruby."

"AUNTY RUBY!" Lila shouts from her mother's arms before launching herself at her aunt. "Whoa," Ruby says, "Someone had pancakes for breakfast."

"Lots and lotsa pancakes. Elephants. Bears. Unicorns…."

Granny smiles as she walks in hugging Henry before moving to embrace her de factor daughter, "It's good to see you again." She grins at Ruby and Lila before placing her hand on Regina's bump before smiling proudly at her, "You're glowing."

"So I'm told," Regina says.

Granny rolls her eyes at that comment, "You look wonderful and your home is lovely." Regina smiles leaning into the older woman as she too looks around at their photos and various accumulated furniture and keepsakes, "It is."

Charming huffs as he walks over the threshold with two baskets of food and presents in his overladen arms, "Don't worry ladies I'll bring in all the stuff."

Emma laughs before moving to help her father, "Why have you got so much? I thought you were just staying for the day? Or are you secretly moving in with us?"

"That would be the bestest thing ever!" Lila cries excitedly as she scampers over to greet her grandpa. Henry chuckles grabbing a basket as he quickly hugs his grandfather, "I'm not sure we have the room Lila Bug."

"We'd have to make the room," Lila says and both Charming and Henry chuckle before the older man sets the little girl down and moves to hug his daughter in law, "How are you Regina? God you look ready to pop."

"Three weeks," Regina says her voice laced with excitement and joy at the prospect of meeting her new child, "How are you?"

"I'm fine," he replies, "Busy chasing Pongo, bringing the cats out of trees, that sort of thing."

Regina chuckles, "And hopefully still filing reports."

"Nope, I just photocopy the one that says Pongo got out and hope someone upstairs gets it," he says with a laugh as Regina mock glares and play swats him on the arm. She smiles before looking at him seriously, "And Snow?"

"Doing better," he replies, "I think the last talk you had with her really helped. Thank you Regina."

"What for?"

"Forgiving her."

"She forgave me," Regina points out.

"Yes," he says, "But you had the strength to forgive her first and remind her that we're all capable of great good and terrible evil. I know you always say Henry brought us all together but the second time round you did so thank you."

Regina smiles hastily wiping a tear from her eye, "Thank you Charming. Gosh look at me crying already and we've not even got to the picnic."

He chuckles to lighten the mood before pulling her in for a bear-hug and patting her on the back before moving to find his daughter before she finds the bearclaws Granny stashed away in the bottom of the picnic basket.

* * *

Later that day once the picnic food has been devoured and the sun is slowly beginning to set the family all sit together across a few blankets over the backyard. Lila has convinced Ruby, Charming and Henry to join her in the treehouse leaving Emma, Regina and Granny on the ground.

"I wonder what they're planning," Emma muses aloud as she reaches for a jaffa cake only for Regina to bat her hand away. "Mine," Regina says picking one up and popping it in her mouth. Emma pouts before grinning at her, "Jaffa Cake kiss?"

Regina rolls her eyes before leaning in to kiss her. Emma smiles at the taste of Regina and the Jaffa Cake before pulling away, "I love you."

"I love you too," Regina says, "And our baby loves you and wants you to bring more Jaffa Cakes."

Emma chuckles giving her wife a quick peck before reaching for the empty box, "The baby is surprisingly demanding…"

Granny watches the scene with a smile pleased to see how happy Regina is. She had her doubts about Emma, she won't deny that but luckily none of them have come to light. She scoots closer to Regina, "Are you happy?" she asks. She always asks even though she doesn't need to. She can see from the easy and light smile on Regina's face that she is. After so many years of seeing her struggle and witnessing her heart break it's nice to hear that Regina finally found her happy ending.

"I am," Regina replies without hesitation, "I really, truly am."

Granny smiles at her giving her a quick hug, "I can tell. Happiness looks good on you."

"And there I was thinking it was just the glow of pregnancy."

"Both," Granny tells her, "I made you something special," she adds before reaching into the basket and pulling out one of her homebaked apple pies. Regina's eyes light up as she takes the pie, "I've missed your pie."

Granny chuckles, "I thought yours was better."

Regina shoots her a look, "Yours are a close second then."

She gasps, "Such cheek and from my own daughter."

"Yep," Regina replies smiling at the term daughter. Granny's called her that many times before and she does see the other woman as her mother, it doesn't stop her from feeling that warmth in her heart that tells her she's part of a family and one who cares for her.

* * *

Emma rummages through the kitchen hunting for Jaffa Cakes when she hears a noise from the living room. She grabs the box grinning as she finds one at the back of the cupboard before moving to investigate. She finds her father in the hallway looking at the photographs that line the wall. Emma smiles upon seeing the one he's looking at. They took it one day last fall. It's a picture of the four of them on a blanket by the apple tree, all bundled up in coats and scarves but with bright grins on their face as Henry snapped the photo with his phone camera. They're all in close but what the photo captures best is their smiles and the way they're all snuggled up together. It's a photo that never fails to remind Emma that she's right where she needs to be.

"I thought you were in the treehouse."

He jumps before turning to her with a smile, "I was but then I was sent in to find you."

"And here I am," she replies before standing next to her father, "How are you Dad?"

"I'm alright."

She looks at him seriously, "Are you?"

"Emma it's not your job to take care of me."

"Well I'm always going to worry so you may as well just tell me the truth," she says with a small smile.

"I'm fine," he insists, "I keep busy at the Sheriff's department. I'm going to counselling with Snow and we're working through things slowly."

Emma nods, "Sometimes the things worth fighting for are the ones that take the most time."

"Knowing you want to keep trying is how you know that person is worth fighting for," he replies, "You're a lucky girl Emma."

Emma smiles looking at the photo of her family, "I am. I'm glad you finally get to see my home."

"Me too," he says, "It's the kind of place I'd always hope you'd have one day."

"No trying to drag me back to Storybrooke then?"

"Henry asked me the same thing," Charming replies, "And no. As I told him I would never force you to go anywhere not when you've all clearly found the place where you belong." She smiles at him before hugging him. They stay looking at the photos until Regina's head pops round the door, "Emma, did you find my Jaffa Cakes? Also the kids have a surprise for us."

* * *

Emma and Regina sit on the blanket next to each other as Henry, Ruby and Lila come down from the treehouse with Ruby and Henry carrying a large parcel down between them. Lila bounds over to her mothers. "Are you ready for your 'prize?"

Regina and Emma both nod eagerly and she grins turning impatiently to her brother and Aunt, "Guys! Hurry up!"

Ruby pouts at her, "Jeez Lila Bug, you could help."

Lila frowns at her Aunt before pointing to the present, "It's way too big for me. I'll have to supervise."

Ruby and Henry chuckle as the little girl directs them towards the picnic blanket before telling them to set it down in front of them. "No thank you to your workers Lila?" Ruby asks and Lila chuckles before grinning at her Aunt, "Thank you Ruby and Henry."

"Anytime munchkin," Ruby says ruffling her niece's hair before sitting down next to Granny and Charming.

"Happy Anniversary," Henry says as he sits down next to Lila opposite his mothers, "We hope you like it."

"It's all of our anniversary kid," Emma points out.

"We know," Henry replies, "But we got something we can all enjoy. We just wanted to surprise you guys because if you two hadn't fought so hard to be together and give us all this happy ending we'd never have this. For me and Lila being here is a gift in itself because we all get to be together. We know you two feel the same but we wanted to get something anyway."

"Aw kid," Emma says feeling herself welling up. She turns to see Regina already crying and wipes the tears away from her girlfriend's face before kissing her softly. "You okay?"

"Happy tears," Regina assures her before they turn back to their kids.

"Open it!" Lila says excitedly as she bounces from foot to foot.

Emma and Regina make quick work of the wrapping paper as they unwrap it together before revealing a big white board filled with photos. They smile as they see the words "Our Family" fashioned out of different coloured card and glued in the middle of the massive poster board. Photos of the family, all of them, surround the words with blank space around the edges.

"The photos are us now over the year we've had together and the blank spaces are for our future," Henry explains hoping his mothers like the idea. It took him and Lila ages to put it together but it was all worth it to surprise them. Regina and Emma look up with matching bright smiles before gesturing for their kids to get up and hug them. The four of them share a tight family bear hug as Regina and Emma look at the blank spaces on that board knowing that in the years to come they'll fill all those gaps with happy memories.

_Thanks for reading :)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end of the story guys, hope you all enjoyed :)


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